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  #1246  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:33 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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(I'm assuming last post was 1120?)

Anyways, things that (as DM) got me to kill off characters:
1121: Play a lich
1122: As a lich, take ranks in Perform (Sex Act) despite the DM informing you that, since they're undead, liches lack bodily fluids, libidos, etc.
1123: Insist on seducing every teenaged character you come across
1124: attempt to force the DM to let you roleplay sex
1125: roll Perform (Sex Act), get above a 30, and insist that the gods notice your awesome abilities
(My response was: "Fine. Since you refuse to acknowledge local ordinances, you failed to notice that this is an area ruled by a Lawful Good God. Said prudish God notices you, then promptly realizes you are a lich and sends a Level 20 paladin on a holy quest to destroy you. Do you wish to roleplay that encounter, too?")

1126: Be a Rules Nazi, but only when it benefits you. Complain about other characters min-maxing or using rules to their benefit
1127: incessantly complain about and mock the DM's accent
1128: be openly misogynistic to the (female) DM's face
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  #1247  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:38 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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Things I've done #1:

1129: Play a high-level druid obsessed with squirrels
1130: use Awaken on random squirrels whenever you have a day off
1131: Take leadership and insist on having a Psionic Awakened squirrel as your cohort
1132: If the DM says "no Psionics", have a wizard, sorcerer, or cleric (personal healer!) squirrel
1133: have all 100 of your followers be Awakened Squirrels
1134: talk the DM into letting you make a Summon Natures Ally: 0 spell, that's basically only useful for summoning squirrels
1135: proceed to use your only 9th level spell for the day to cast Summon Nature's Ally, and insist (at length) that it should allow you to summon 10d4+10 squirrels
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  #1248  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:48 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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Thing's I've done #2:

1136: When faced with an army that's clearly supposed to help the DM railroad us into heading east, wildshape into a hawk and rain down chain lightening on their ranks
1137: use high-level summoning spells against mooks
1138: summon the physically heaviest monster you can a certain number of feet above the enemy. Calculate the time it would take the monster to fall to argue that they can't get out of the way in time, and have the monster (thanks to Augment Summoning) have enough hit points to survive the fall. Literally squish your enemies

1139: play a Chaotic Evil oracle with the Dark Tapestry mystery bent on summoning Azathoth (think Cthulu on steroids) and bringing about the apocalypse
1140: play an oracle with the Tongues curse (your character only speaks in tongues during stressful times, like combat)
1141: declare that the above character has an anxiety disorder, so is always stressed. Speak only in tongues, even OOC
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  #1249  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:50 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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Things I've seen others do #1:

1142: play a somewhat insane high-level treesinger druid
1143: take Craft Wand, and dump all of your available gold and free time into making Wands of Baleful Polymorph
1144: Baleful Polymorph enemies and random NPCs (including people vital to the plot) into trees.
1145: Insist that the above doesn't make you evil, since you genuinely believe they'll be better off
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  #1250  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:53 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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Things I've seen others do #2:

1146: As the rogue, instead of participating in combat, sneak past the party and steal all the loot for yourself
1147: insist that the above is in-character, and you should totally get role-playing XP for it
1148: be a scaredy-cat rogue, and refuse to enter into obviously trapped rooms
(The DM didn't have to act. The other players picked him up, threw him into the room, and barricaded the door when his presence animated an undead monster)
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  #1251  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:56 AM
Hibana Hibana is offline
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Things I've done #3:

1149: use Speak with Animals to derail an entire war campaign by covering all the roads with cows
1150: use a combination of Speak with Animals and Awaken to set up a squirrel spy network. Pay your spies in acorns

Things I've seen others do #3:
1151: win initiative. Use Phantasmal Killer to one-shot the boss that the DM spent three hours putting together
1152: gloat over the above
1153: argue with the DM when 1151 triggers an attack by an ancient dragon
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  #1252  
Old 09-07-2013, 01:31 AM
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TaintedHolyWater TaintedHolyWater is offline
poisoning your antidote
 
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Hibana, while neatly organized please refrain from posting many times in a row, one post can have any number of subjects. This one has two.

Things I dropped Like normal falling rocks but self guiding to only hit the offending player with little to no collateral damage.Smart Rocks tm
1154. Do anything stupid and defend it with "...its what my character would do." or "... because reasons." or, my favourite, *storm out of the room when questioned about said stupid act*
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  #1253  
Old 09-27-2013, 11:21 PM
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Akeii Akeii is offline
L'ange
 
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1155: When I was a young college warthog...
  1. Borrowed a good music major friend's bagpipes.
  2. Rolled a Bard who played her bardic performances on bagpipes.
  3. INSISTED that I play along on said bagpipes whenever she performed, "For the full roleplaying experience!"
  4. I don't know how to play bagpipes.
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  #1254  
Old 10-02-2013, 10:36 PM
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Hextor Hextor is offline
CE- cuddly evil


 
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Rofl!!!
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