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#1
Jun 16th, 2008, 09:59 AM
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Final Match: Pfooti vs. Caveman
Main Ingredients: Modron March Miniature Monsters Mug of Lost Souls Baby Shield Retirement home for heroes Desolation Optional Ingredients: Court of Cats Loneliness Zombie Angel Kender Thugs Wedding Bells Fly on the wall
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"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." 
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#2
Jun 17th, 2008, 07:34 AM
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SECRET tags removed by Arg--
Well, I think I may fail on this one. I fell asleep mid sentence last night, and all I have now (with half an hour until I have to be in hospital) is a rough outline. This is essentially a holder so that there's no forfeit - apologies to all, but it seems real life wins again... Adventure summary for "Desolation Denied" Krysophax is a fallen angel. Once one of the prime movers in Pelor's armies she was seduced by a cornugon and fell for him completely � such is the mystery of love. Expelled from Pelor's realm, and discarded by the Cornugon, Krysophax fled to Sigil to establish herself in her own right, free from constraints and responsibilities and no longer beholden to any other power. Now the Cage is a funny place, and it changes folk � after a few centuries in Sigil Krysophax no longer thought or acted like the being of purity and good that sdhe was created as, but had instead begun to become more and more like the mortals around her. Indeed so like them did she become that she began to believe that, perhaps, she might become one. Belief is a powerful force in the planes � sometimes powerful enough to utterly alter the laws of reality � and in this case the nature of the Angel did change, but not as she hoped. Instead the angel believed herself to have died, but her body continued to survive, she became, in effect, a living zombie. Unable to bring herslf to accept that she was not dead, Krysophax has given herslf entirely to her �undeath� and has become the new poster girl for the Dustmen faction. So what? Why do we care what the Dusties do, think or worship? Well here's why Berk � Krysophax has decided that her state is the way everyone should be: loneliness and desolation have been her shroud for so long that she's started to think it's normal and right. Now she's gone too far � the angel wants to initiate a Modron March, the feared time when millions of the automata spill out from their plane and march rlentlessly forwards through the Great Ring, trampling anything and anyone in their path. Adventure summary: The PCs are hired by the Last Home � a group whose membership comprises retired successful adventurers who seek to further their goals through others - to investigate the suspicious activities of the dustmen. The investigations lead them to discover that the faction have come to possess the fabled Mug of Lost Souls � an artifact that captures the souls of those that die whilst travelling in the Astral Plane � and are using it to manipulate the souls into occupying new bodies. They have succeed in using the mug to occupy the Primus � the modron that controls the actions of all others � with the soul of the blackguard and fallen Aasimir paladin Mandrox. Mandrox is, even now, initiating the great March which will lay waste to large swathes of the outer planes, bringing more and more souls into the desolate state that Krysophax desires they suffer. The first part of the adventure sees the PCs track one of the sub-factols of the Dustmen as he releases a swarm of animated automata, all miniatures of modrons imbued with controlled souls. They have to successfully follow and spy on the factol whilst remaining unseen, and then stop the miniature monsters from wrecking havoc on the material plane (a necessary step for the angel's plans as the Modron March will be diverted from its usual path, and the right level of chaos on material planes is necessary for this to work). Once they have discovered the activities of the faction they must report back and are then sent to steal the mug. In the process they witness a conversation between Krysophax and Primus which tells them of the start of the March. The march can be stopped in a number of ways, the PCs can kill Primus (very hard combat), tell Secundus (the next highest Modron) which entail lots of diplomacy and proof of intention to the Modron hierarchy, try to subvert the commands, kill Krysophax or raise enough other factions to do the job for them. Hooks: The adventurers can be drawn in in a number of ways: -Gold: The Retirement Home pay well, they have the wealth of many high level adventurers behind them. -Glory: If the PCs are good aligned the prospect of defeating evil should be hook enough. -Faction politics: The Home have members of all factions involved and one could well be out to play politics using noble intentions as his or her mask. Factioned PCs can be approached by a fellow member and asked to deal with the threat. -Family/Friends: Perhaps a PC lost someone they knew on the Astral Plane and now their soul is in torment in the mug - dreams, visitations etc can pull the PCs in. To start The party are approached by an elderly but clearly once powerful man who invites them to undertake a small job. It seems the dusties have been acting oddly recently, even panning folk directly into the dead book (usually forbidden) and now they've gone too far, entering material planes and collecting souls from there. The man represents the Retirement Home, a group of ex-adventurers who seek to further their causes by hiring new bloods to do what they used to - namely be heroes. This particular cutter wants the PCs to follow a high-up in the dusties and gather evidence that the faction have gone too far so that the Home can move against them in the appropriate manner. The party have to make sure they remain unseen and then report back to the Home. Dustmen: Finding the sub-factol should be easy enough, gather info checks and roleplaying in taverns and bars should yield the info that he hangs out in the Gathering Dust, and what the man looks like. Following him should be a matter of skill checks and appropriate planning from the PCs, and remaining unseen isn't so hard as he is not expecting company. Should the PCs make their presence known, attack or otherwise screw up all is not lost as another will be chosen to do the job for the Dustmen. Alternatively the sub-factol can lead them on and then ambush them with the miniatures instead of releasing them into the material plane. The sleuthing of the PCs will lead them to see the sub-factol gather a key (a miniature shield from a child's soldier toy) and use a permanent portal. The PCs can either rush through after (bad plan) or source a baby shield for themselves and follow on. Locating the key will require skill checks, social RP etc, or craft checks, shrink item, theft from children - whatever. Once through the PCs should witness the factol releasing a horde of small modron automata and then using the mag of souls to imbue them with spirit. He will command them to march on the nearest settlement and destroy it. The factol will leave and the PCs must decide whether and how to help. Saving the village may require warning them and then organising a defense, trying to kill the modrons (normal modron stats but smaller size) or appropriate magics (banish, defeat possession etc etc). Next stage: The PCs report back to their employer(s) and are tasked with retrieving the mug from the Dustmen. This will be hard and the Pcs should be rewarded for active imaginations. Skill checks and social RP will get them information required to find out HQs etc, and then they must either infiltrate, invade or act. Infiltration: classic break-and-enter stuff, skill checks for intelligence gathering, staking out the location, then gaining entry, neutralising guards and finding the loot. Then getting out when the alarm bells ring. Very Indiana Jones (the older, good ones). Invasion: For the hack-and-slash types a direct front on attack might work. The dusties aren't a militant faction and are relying on secrecy rather than might to protect the mug - should still be a very tough fight though, and the PCs may well be repulsed, requiring them to choose another method of recovery. Act: The PCs could try to pretend to be Dustmen and infiltrate that way. Illusions, detect thoughts, skill checks and heavy RP should all b e rewarded here. Once the party make it to where the mug should be, they will find that there is a meeting taking place. The zombie angel is giving final orders that the spirit of Mandronax be released and possess the Primus. Krysophax will leave and the spirit will be released before the PCs can stop it (unless they do something very special indeed, in which case Krysophax will find another way and be a great bbeg from then on). The PCs now have to get the mug and report back. Showdown: The Home will send the PCs to directly defeat Primus, how they do so is up to them. Fighting is likely to end messily, but negotiation and clever magic use should work. Once the other modrons are convinced that Primus is possessed they will act immediately and effectively to end the threat. The PCs should be able to (eventually) talk their way to the top, and then they have to present evidence convincingly. This should all be fairly RP heavy and combat light, though if guards need killing or the modrons have to send the PCs on a spurious mission to prove their trustworthiness then so be it... Endgame: The Modrons will be satisfied, and may owe the PCs a favour. The Home pay well and may provide future ongoing hooks and work. Krysophax is probably still alive (in as much as she really is) and is now a definite recurring villain. Faction politics are changed and the PCs may well become further embroiled in them. Ingredients: Modron March - theme point, the PCs will see a mini-version and must stop another Miniature Monsters - released in part 1 Mug of Lost Souls - centre-point and traget of second quest Baby Shield - key for portal Retirement home for heroes - protagonsists and paymasters Desolation - theme of the adventure. Suffered by the angel and what she wishes to see all beings suffer equally. Zombie Angel: Antagonist, BBEG. Loneliness: ass suffered by Krysophax.
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Iron DM 2008 (Runner-up) Last edited by Caveman; Jun 17th, 2008 at 08:10 AM.
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#3
Jun 17th, 2008, 07:46 AM
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The City Eternal
A plane-shifting adventure for level 20 characters. Premise The Epic Level Handbook talks about several ways DMs handle the existence (or non-existence) of epic-level characters in their world. While the possibility exists that epic-level characters have always been around, this is unsatisfying. An alternate suggestion is that PCs need to encounter some sort of Power or Event that allows them to go beyond level 20. This is such a story. The story assumes that the PCs will want to return home to their world of origin. It is not necessary that they do so, although this adventure would be somewhat pointless if they stay. There are a number of ways to handle this. First of all, there are likely to be reasons the PCs want to return: love, family, duty. Even though the people of this realm say that the Heroes have earned their rest, it is usually not in the nature of Heroes to stay put for too long. Perhaps there is unfinished business back home, or there is yet another crisis facing their homeworld. The other alternative is to simply end the story early and let the Heroes retire. Not every player wants to take their characters into Epic levels, after all. Synopsis The party, flush with the enjoyment of success at whatever it was they were doing before, engages in some sort of dimensional travel - teleport or plane shift or the like. Instead of arriving at their destination, they find themselves in The City Eternal, a town in a world somewhere in the Prime Material Plane, but not their town. The City has an attraction to people of a certain power level, and is populated with a number of very old wizards, clerics, and fighters. All found their way to the city by accident, some through actual mishap, and others were likely sent there by the gods of their worlds. Most are content to live out the rest of their lives here in the City, but some are always trying to leave. If they do continue onward, they will leave the city and traverse the waste lands beyond, secure powerful artifacts needed to allow their return to their home world, and return home to continue their adventures. The adventure itself is written in an open-ended format. Most of the encounters are sketched out as possibilities in the description. By 20th level, most PCs have developed some nontraditional methods for adventuring, it would be fruitless to try and anticipate all of these. At any rate, there should be a fair amount of time spent exploring the City, traveling to the Well of Words and developing the ritual magic that allows the PCs to return home, then acquiring the Grail in order to survive the return trip, and finally discussing the real cost of their return. Chapter One: Arrival NOTE: The Modrons in the Manual of the Planes WE are, for the most part, not a challenge to a party of level 20 PCs. Since these are Special Modrons who were grown and adapted for life in the City, we can assume that they're more powerful than typical Modrons. The drones should all be upgraded to the CR 14-18 level, so that a squad of Drones (10+ of them) represents a real threat to the party. Using the statistics for the assorted Avorals or Archons is probably a good idea, if you don't want the work of changing things around. Giving some Modrons the ability to generate an anti-magic field would also help a lot in keeping the parties under control. The party arrives, but not where they had expected. Their magic has gone awry somehow. Everyone arrives clad in their best equipment, wizards have their spell books, clerics their holy symbols, even if this material was somewhere else when they were rerouted. They are meant to have all their most powerful items in this new world, this also keeps their home world from getting cluttered up with artifacts. The party arrives in the center of some kind of town square, and when they do, they are greeted by applause and cheering. New heroes have arrived! They're immediately asked to visit the taverns for food and ale, and so on. They'll likely be confused and out of sorts, though, especially once they catch sight of the first Modron Patrols. In this chapter, the Heroes will spend a long time exploring and coming to understand the City. Rather than break the information up into Gather Info blocks or otherwise, it is all presented here. The DM should decide how much information to provide the PCs. The goal is to describe the city, but not give away too much of its purpose right away. Some of this information could be revealed in the Well of Words below, and some could never be revealed. It is also possible to further populate the city with exotic and strange people - this is a city filled with the cream of the adventuring crop. Only real heroes are called to the City Eternal, ones whose actions warrant a sort of Nirvana rather than the cycle of death and rebirth that they would face on their home world. Of course, not all inhabitants of the City are worthy - some arrived by accident, and others have changed their outlook on life after being trapped here for a decade or more. Suggested encounters in the City Eternal, which should be mixed in with other plot elements at the DMs discretion:
The City Eternal was built long ago by the Modrons, at a point in time when this world overlapped nearly completely with Mechanus. It was originally designed to be an expansion to the original Modron realm: the Modron Primus begat an avatar to populate the realm, and from it spawned forth the Secundi, Tertians, and so on. An entire society of Modrons now populates the city, but even still, they do not take most of the space of the city. When Mechanus once again drifted away from this world, the Modrons here stayed, although their original plans changed. Instead of a toehold, this world was converted into a stronghold. The Modrons were contracted by the Gods and Demigods of countless worlds in the Prime Material and beyond to turn the City Eternal into a place where the most powerful heroes are sent by those Gods to live out the rest of their lives. Being chosen to go to the City Eternal is supposed to be an enormous honor, but at the same time the Gods do it in order to protect their dominion: heroes that grow too powerful may end up challenging the Gods themselves. The city shows a Modron geometric regularity. The outer wall is octagonal, with a tall guard tower at each corner. There is an inner octagonal tower, in which resides an avatar of the Modron Primus, and inner walls run from the inner tower to the outer walls, dividing the city into eight sections. The divisions are primarily to keep different, potentially antagonistic races, apart. Modrons can move through these walls as if they were mist, but everyone else is required to use gatehouses. Generally speaking, heroes are allowed free rein of the city, but might be restricted from certain areas at times. There are a number of Modron squads marching through the city at any given time, and all are prepared for the kind of destruction that can come from a highly-powerful group of heroes that have not made the transition well. Any fight should be interrupted by Modrons within 1d4 rounds, the peacekeepers will use a combination of lethal and nonlethal damage to render combatants unconscious as quickly as possible. The tower in the center of the city is 300' tall, and made entirely out of what appears to be a seamless block of adamantine, or some other incredibly hard surface. There are no windows, doors, or openings of any kind. The superior Modrons (Quartons, Tertians, and Secundi) are able to simply walk through the walls of the tower at will. The PCs will likely spend some time exploring the tower, but should not be able to find any way in. The tower houses an avatar of the Modron Primus, a powerful being in its own right. The city as well as its surroundings have a few important features. First of all, no teleportation magic of any kind works. It simply fails, from Benign Transposition all the way up to Greater Teleport. Nothing works. Secondly, flying in the city is strongly frowned upon. The first time, a squadron of enforcers (who are allowed to fly) will surround the PC, force them to the ground, and explain that flying is not allowed in the City Eternal. Any future infraction will result in the same actions, but the squadron will attack the PC. They will not kill the PC outright, but will attempt to render them unconscious with a combination of lethal and nonlethal damage. There are a number of fountains throughout the city, which provide clean water for drinking and washing. Some enterprising heroes have made good on their promises to themselves and set up taverns and inns. While there is a good supply of food available (mysteriously, it would seem, although it's simple: a number of people, including Modrons if necessary, can cast "create food and water"). Unfortunately, there's not any really good alcohol in the City. People have experimented with lots of brewing techniques, but nothing really good has been made. This is enough reason to send some Heroes back home, and others over the edge. The avatar of the Modron Primus has enough control over the City and world that any true account of how to escape is found and destroyed - books are constantly read by Duodrones, whose ability to phase through the material that the city is constructed from allow them access to just about all the libraries in the city. Interfering with the Duodrones is a punishable offense, although they are speedy and as polite as possible. Outside the gates of the city, nothing and nothingness. The Modrons freely allow everyone to leave the city and return at any time, however a desert waste extends for hundreds of miles in all directions. No water, no food, nothing is easy to find in the desert. Traveling through it requires a DC 30 survival check to find enough water and food to travel for a day, refer to the rules on overland travel and harsh terrain in the DMG. Also note that there are no riding animals available in the City although resourceful parties will find other ways to travel overland. While flight in the City is illegal, flight over the desert is not regulated. The desert is not patrolled by the Modrons at all, so while the Heroes can get away from the oversight, they're also subject to attack at any time by either the natural inhabitants of the land or transplanted arrivals that didn't fit in. Chapter Two: The Well of Words While the Modrons keep a very close eye on written words in the City Eternal, there are two places they cannot regulate. It is possible that some method for escaping would be recorded in a book that was stored outside the city, but there are no known libraries out in the wastes, so finding one might be next to impossible (although the Charlatan's Pet might have such a book in its treasure hoard, if the Party is unable to find the Well of Words for some reason). The Well of Words is an area where this world's closeness to the planes of Law is apparent. The well itself is a deep, dark hole in the center of a cave complex just below the city. It is possible to enter the caves from within the city, but the entryways are relatively secret. The Heroes should hear about the Well before they learn how to get there. The complex is home to a few monks who have devoted themselves to the study and appreciation of the Well. The mechanism of the well is simple: anyone standing at the lip of the well can hear anything that has ever been spoken by anyone standing at the lip of the well. No words spoken at the lip of the well are ever lost, they echo and re-echo forever. A trained listener can discern a particular train of words from the cacophony, but even then there is no predicting when a particular statement will re-emerge from its trip down the well. Some things come out over and over, and some are quite rare. Proper use of the Well requires a good Listen check. Getting all the information that the party needs should take several weeks. During this time, at least one person needs to be listening at any time. If there's less coverage of the well, it will take longer. For the most part, the Well is the final resting place for the stories of all the heroes that have lived in the City Eternal. Eventually, everyone learns of the well, and they go there to shout their own life and beliefs into it, so that there will be some record of them after they die. The Monks who devote their time to listening to the Well are all entirely mad. They might be able to help the Heroes a little with some of this information, but should be portrayed as hermits who have spent far too long listening to the voices of long-dead heroes reciting their life stories. If anyone before had ever been able to discover a way out of this place, they would have told their story to the Well, in order to preserve that information forever. Indeed, the PCs discover such a method: a complex piece of ritual magic that can return them to their homeworld. There's a catch: the ritual and return trip will kill them. They are simply not strong enough to make this trip. But, like all good catches, there's a solution: The Grail of Lost Souls. The Grail is some sort of receptacle for soul energy: if it is used during this ritual, it will strengthen the Heroes enough so that they survive the return trip. Chapter Three: The Grail The Grail's resting place is discoverable using information from the Well of Worlds. It is located well outside the city in a well-guarded temple. At some point in the past eons, this world overlapped with Baator, after which countless Devils sprung forth into the lands. This is why there's so much wasteland outside the city: it was razed by the devils. Now, most are gone, but they still live in their temple, where the overlap with Baator is strongest. The exact layout of the temple is left to the DMs discretion - at this level, different parties have different tastes for dungeon delving. However, the inhabitants of the Temple should be modified to reflect the waning influence of Baator on this world. Every devil should have its size reduced by two steps (large -> small, medium -> tiny, etc), and power reduced somewhat. All the physical attacks should have the same attack bonus (the reduction in strength is offset by the bonus to hit from a smaller size), but do less damage. Applying a static -8 damage to all attacks is usually sufficient to cover the effects of reducing the damage die and strength bonus without having to actually do so. All also receive a +2 Size modifier to their AC. None of the devils can use their summon devil ability either, but their other attributes are unaffected. Note, however, that tiny and smaller devils will have to move into the PCs squares to attack them, provoking AoOs unless they successfully tumble. Seeing such tiny creatures (size small balrog?) should put the party off-guard. Despite the size reduction, these are still very difficult enemies to fight. They may look cute, but most have a lot more in their arsenal than just their physical attacks, and in some cases the small size can actually be an advantage. Chapter Four: Ritual and Choice Once the Heroes have recovered the Grail of Lost Souls, they can carry out the ritual of return. The magic rite, once begun, should attract the attention of other trapped people in the City Eternal. Some may try to bargain their way into the return trip, others will fight. Once again, this resolution is left to the DM. An epic climax demands a fair amount of opposition, the best strategy may well be simply duplicating the party and using nearly-identical NPCs. The PC carrying out the ritual itself needs to be either a Druid, Cleric, Sorcerer, or a Wizard with access to the Conjuration school of magic. They need to make 30 consecutive concentration checks, each with a DC 10. Adjust the DC as normal to account for any damage taken in the previous round (+1 DC per point of damage taken). The ritual requires a full-round action each turn, and any other actions, including a 5-foot step, will interrupt the ritual. If the ritual is interrupted, it can be restarted without penalty. The rest of the party is free to act in defense of the caster, but must be within 15' of the caster when the ritual concludes, or they will be left behind. Once the ritual concludes, each Hero in the ritual disappears from the City Eternal, but they do not appear at their home world immediately. Instead, their trip back is interrupted by the Modron Prime, who appears as a glowing humanoid figure. It appears individually to each hero - they cannot see or speak to each other, only the Modron. It projects a telepathic voice into the mind of the heroes. If the PCs still choose to return to their home worlds, they will bring with them some of the power of the Grail, which strengthens their souls to the point where they are able to manifest Epic powers. Any returning PC should all receive enough XP to advance to level 21 at this point. ---- Commentary: Once again, the length limitation is a real problem for me. I don't know if I'm just wordy, if I try to over-reach with these things, or what. Probably all of the above. I would have liked to have statted out the Temple of the Grail, as well as the Opposition during the ritual scene. Both could use a lot of detail, and I'm already over-length by a fair bit. But then again, writing an adventure for level 20 PCs is a real challenge as well: the variation in power level is ENORMOUS. So, maybe it is best left to the DM. I think, given space and time to write it, I'd like to play up the sinister / fascist feel to the City Eternal. While it's an interesting place, people are essentially banished there for getting too powerful in their home worlds. I like this idea, and would love to explore it a little further. There are a number of ways this could be expanded on. Overall, though, I'm happy with it, and I hope you are too. Thanks to Colatine for putting the competition together, and thanks to all the judges and all the other competitors and the audience as well. Now... sleep. Main Ingredients: Modron March - Modrons all over the place, marching in regiments up and down the city streets. Miniature Monsters - the Mini-Devils in the Temple of the Grail. I'll be the first to admit that they're a little tacked on, but I couldn't make everything central to the plot without it starting to feel really ungainly. Mug of Lost Souls - the Grail, which enables the heroes to travel back to their homeworlds. I just couldn't call it the "Mug", it made me too giggly. Baby Shield - A semi-literal interpretation, the infant souls that the heroes must weigh in order to return to their home world. Retirement home for heroes - The City Eternal itself. Desolation - The desert and wastelands that surround the City Eternal. Optional Ingredients: Court of Cats - the Weretiger society that the Party befriends. Loneliness - One good reason to return home (that's a stretch, I know)
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My collection of posts I'm proud of writing. Also, my serialized blog story thingy.
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#4
Jun 24th, 2008, 10:29 AM
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Judge Teufel Heunden
Let me begin by congratulating all of the contestants from the very beginning. I t took a lot of courage just to enter this contest and all of the entries all the way up to and including the finals we see here were well thought out and winners in their own right, but someone has to win above all others. That is what we come to here, who has it to win the Iron DM competition.
Both of these entries are great in there own way and both Caveman and pfooti should be commended on your great efforts over the last couple of weeks. Decision to ………….. pfooti Congratulations .
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My apologies to all I game with, going through some challenging times with RL at the moment but I am still here and will persavere. TY for your Patience.
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#5
Jun 24th, 2008, 10:29 AM
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Judge Colatine
Judgment-Colatine-Final Round
An Iron DM tournament has several challenges; be it creativity, time management or having to be on the ball to deal with the unpredictable actions of both players or their characters. Indeed, there have been many a time where the mundane has crimped my DMing (having both laptop and PC not working, key player being in an accident etc.) - but that is part of the challenge of DMing- it challenges you in multiple ways, both known and unknown. Thus we have two fine contestants in the final round; however, as with any campaign, it all comes down to the final result. Both of you should be proud; I am sure we are only aware of some of the challenges you have faced along the way to getting here. Now on to the final judgement. Overall Themes and Cohesiveness: It is interesting that Caveman starts of jumping right into the plot. Mayhap, the short turn around time frame has helped him be more concise? Let's see shall we. He gives us a powerful plot, NPC and motivation right of the bat- this, I think is the first time in this tournament that I have seen such a great, and all together relatable and understandable motivation for the Antagonist. It is the sign of a great DM where the anatagonist might be even more relatable to the PCs than maybe even the good guys. Everyone should take note of Krysophax and how wonderfully the whole adventure easily flows from this one NPC and its motivation. And the great evil plan of initiating the Modron March to cause the pain and desolation that she considers to be the natural state follows. The multiple hooks are also well done. However, it is also readily apparent that this entry is rushed. It leaves a lot of open holes- why is the Mug of Lost Souls, a Mug and what the hell is going on with those mini- modrons? and so on. As such, the overall cohesiveness suffers greatly. Pfooti, An epic level adventure? You are quite ballsy for doing this. When I first started reading this it felt cliched. But on further read through, there is greatness in what you have done. So whatever happened to Elminister? Sent to the retirement home!  Makes perfect sense to me. It wouldn't surprise me if there are a DM or two (including myself) who would be thinking about having a planar retirement home set up by the gods to keep all those wannabe, i want to rule the world, epic PCs (you know who you are!  ) safely locked away. It is a great, and unexpected element to throw at PCs as well. I can even see how a splinter plane of Mechanus would be the choice. Excellent work.However, Pfootis adventure has some meh moments as well. For example, the market- what would happen with a bunch of epic PCs all sitting around crafting stuff? The #1 selling item would be **** that breaks me out of jail. I think, a slight tweak in the flavor of the adventure, where everything looks wonderful from the outside (i am sure the PCs will be paranoid when EVERYONE is nice) with collaborators and even possibly an underground resistance movement might have helped this adventure become even more awesome than it is. In fact, the mini monsters might have been a perfect spying device for the Modron Gestapo. In fact, I think your weakness is in Caveman's area of strength- fully thinking through the motivations of the NPCs you have put in a "nice prison," and just letting it all be driven from there. What if, for example, the Cup of Lost Souls is where any dissenters that are caught or found guilty are forcefully disjointed into? and freeing all of those potentially powerful allies would either lead to a way out of the City or lead to the answer to an almost complete escape route?( perhaps there are discreet rumors about the famous Mordikainen who had cunningly crafted Mordikainens Unbinding before he simply "disappeared?). I also think better thought and play up of desolation should have been added to the outside area (at 20th level, the way the adventure is currently crafted, the PCs would easily be able to escape the plane if the outside area is as unregulated as you suggest- perhaps the area outside the city enforces "desolation" on the mind of anyone that leaves the city causing their minds to fracture). In fact, similar to Caveman, I have issue with the middle half of your adventure. In fact though the Well of Words is an awesome piece of creativity, it blows up the plausibility of your scenario- I would expect the grail to have already be gone by now, further why would anyone leave the Well as is, especially the gods? (unless the answer is that they want people to escape and the whole thing is a test- makes sense; but might need to be more clearly spelled out up front). And the baby shield choice? Awesome. I have Pfooti ahead at this point- great creativity from both players, but Pfooti has provided an adventure that every GM needs!!!! Ingredient Use Main Ingredients: Modron March - Caveman rocks this better than Pfooti- his is much more essential to the adventure. Caveman Wins. Miniature Monsters - Both uses are awful. The less said the better Mug of Lost Souls -Meh, call this a tie and move along Baby Shield - Pfooti does us proud with this one. Caveman's could be anything- it does not need to be a shield Retirement home for heroes - The entire city and a key element vs something that's not really needed for the adventure. Pfooti wins this handily Desolation - The desert and wastelands - pretty much a throwaway by Pfooti vs. awesomeness and the key driver for Caveman. Caveman has shown how to use such tricky ingredients. Caveman wins this. So we have a 2-2 tie when it comes to ingredient use. Do we need to evaluate the optional ingredients? No. The Iron DM winner for 2008 is Pfooti who rocked us with high level awesomeness. Fantastic Job, both of you (I think Pfooti would have been in a bit of trouble if we had gone to the optional ingredients). Caveman, you have been consistently amazing through out. Pfooti, you have grown from adventure to adventure and I can see where you really took the criticism to heart and made improvements in your later entries! Congrats, both of you. I expect to see both of you next year! Rock on, and thank you all contestants for the fine cuisine. And so, for the Iron DM 2008, Pfooti's cuisine does indeed reign supreme!
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My apologies to all I game with, going through some challenging times with RL at the moment but I am still here and will persavere. TY for your Patience.
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#6
Jun 24th, 2008, 10:30 AM
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Judge Admin Ridin
To both finalists: I am mightily impressed with what you accomplished with what seemed to me to be a terribly difficult set of ingredients.
Caveman: Desolation Denied clearly shows how much sheer imagination you bring to the task of designing an adventure. Like your semi-finals submission, this one is epic in sweep; and also like the previous, it's a wide, broad canvas for the DM's own imagination and ingenuity. At this level I almost hesitate to offer specific comments.--Wait, okay, hesitation's passed. Here goes. The zombie angel is a complicated construction. Rather than taking the easy way out (it's an angel what got zombified), you opted for a more subtle interpretation. I do appreciate this route. Additionally, planning to wipe the slate with the modron march is an original approach to wrecking the universes. I found myself wondering about some of the components of the adventure. What are Dustmen? I suppose the sub-factol is like a Dustmen commander? If so, isn't there a factol too? What's the significance of the Cage? If Mandrox has already begun the Long March (power to the glorious revolution!), why does Krysophax need to get involved at all? Ingredient-wise I came away with a healthy respect for some, and wanting more from others. The miniature monsters could've been handled with more brio, and the old folks' home is at best a supporting element, not a protagonist--that's either the PCs or the angel, depending on whose side you take. I prefer the angel as protagonist; she sets the thing in motion after all. Desolation and loneliness are pretty abstract and again, I recognize how challenging they are to deal with in this competition. In keeping with your interpretation of the zombie angel, you've chosen a higher-level function for them here. Baby shield could've been a lot grimmer and god knows I'd've probably worked up something involving staples which would then have had to be axed because this is a morally decent site. To sum up: Really, all the same comments from the semi-finals would apply here, I think. A vivid and extravagant canvas--but this time with even less in the way of detail and atmosphere. pfooti: Start off with an atmospheric quotation from The Waste Lands, will you? You realize that establishes a certain expectation regarding quality in this reader's mind...? Right, off we go. The premise "it is usually not in the nature of Heroes to stay put for too long" is a profoundly relevant one that certainly rings true. Blazes of glory are more apt to be involved in a hero's exit than dutiful taking of prescription meds each afternoon in the Billiards Room. But having made this assertion, you proceed to back away from it by providing the City as a resting place from which only a few heroes try to venture forth. The City Eternal was best developed by Moorcock as Tanelorn. Some of the subplots in yours make for very satisfying encounters--the charlatan in particular; the were-tigers, less so. What's their relationship to the Modrons? And just the City itself could well form the basis for a campaign. Being a holding cell of sorts for very powerful people, in some ways it reminds me of Superman's re-education camp in Kingdom Come, and you're right to ponder the fascistic potential of the place. But the surrounding wastes seem not very challenging. A middling-level druid can Wild Shape himself into an Air Elemental outside the City walls, and simply fly at 100' per every 6 seconds, without need for food or water, until he comes to something interesting. In 12 hours such a druid could travel over 100 miles without any sort of Haste-ing etc. Shape changing abilities and items available to higher level PCs can do the trick with much more elan than what I've just hurriedly described, too. Your encounter-oriented guidelines on monster stats and abilities for DMs are very helpful. Ingredient-wise, the Well of the Worlds is a super idea. Its crazed monastic keepers are well done. Your mini devils are well reasoned and clever. A grail is not however a mug, and the baby shield eluded me entirely. The Court of Cats is an interesting conceit but a hard one to fit in to the City's organization. To sum up: A superior setting for a series of adventures. Whose cuisine reigns supreme...? We are a fortunate community to have minds like Caveman and pfooti among us. Both are clearly not only creative but also able to stitch disparate elements into real stories. Both submissions are campaign settings rather than discrete adventures, which as many will remember I don't feel quite fits the spirit of the thing. I believe pfooti's submission is more tightly plotted and requires less from its DM. pfooti has my vote--and you both have my appreciation. Thank you.
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My apologies to all I game with, going through some challenging times with RL at the moment but I am still here and will persavere. TY for your Patience.
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#7
Jun 24th, 2008, 10:34 AM
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So easy is it for judges to sit in their high thrones and dispense judgment on those below their bench. Coming in and throwing out critiques like they were yesterday’s coffee.
But this contest lends more to all of us than such snooty comments and righteous judgments. The first congratulations from me goes to Colatine for bringing this concept to our community. No Matter the Winner or Loser here today, the entire community has benefited from not only the inspiration given us by the contestants, but by the camaraderie that has been displayed by all of the spectators. Good hearted poking back and forth, handy bets, some risk that lead to some big losses and the heart to stand forth in those losses and continue on despite. Thank You and congratulations Colatine for bringing this contest to life and breathing inspiration to us all. . Next I would like to thank the fellow Judges who took the time to read through these entries and come to sometimes wrenching decisions that they knew would not sit well with all, but the decisions had to be made and they took the precious time to do it. Thank you Admin Ridin, AgWolf, and Colatine. Next my congratulations goes to all of the contestants for throwing your hat in the ring and valiantly facing off against each other, one on one with nothing in your arsenal but your minds and a will to win. "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt, President of the United States Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910 Next, the spectators either vocal in the Peanut Gallery, in the Betting house or just passing through quietly and reading. You are the ones that gave our contestants the inspiration to wow all of us. Thanks to you all Finally, the Judgment you have all been waiting for: I present to you, the new Spring 2008 DnD Online Games Iron DM, by unanimous decision. Pfooti Congratulations from all of us on a job well done and perseverance in the Arena. .
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My apologies to all I game with, going through some challenging times with RL at the moment but I am still here and will persavere. TY for your Patience.
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