[Story] Round 4; The Grand Finale! Toba vs Melchior

[hvg3akaek]

Round 4; The Grand Finale! Toba vs Melchior

Originally Posted by Chairman Haga

Where sixteen once stood, now there are but two!

Many have fallen, many have been left in the wake of Toba. The Psychedelic Challenger has bested those who have bested those who have bested others. Toba has risen through four rounds of challenges, and now stands before the final challenge, the final foe...

Now it is Toba's turn to face the reigning Iron DM. For Melchior has survived and defeated all challengers set before him. Some with the pen, some with the mere threat of the pen. There are those that may say Melchior's journey this year was an easy one, but do they know of the efforts and pains he went through last year to get there?

As has happened many times before, and must happen again, you will now face off against each other. Only by using the following six ingredients, and crafting an encounter or adventure with your own talents can help you now! One of you can finally rest, but for the other, you must spend the next year wearing the heavy burden of being titled: Iron DM 2012!

The Admin Chuck, Embrodak, EngrInAZ, idilippy, mad_gondsman, RonarsCorruption, Sakure, and Squeakjudges for this round are:

• Everyone!!!

The ingredients for this round are:

• a Cursing Parrot!!
• a Kobold Lich!!
• a River Ford!!
• a Lapis Vase!!
• Hallucinations!!
• and a Moral Quandary!!

If you so dare, you can also pick from the following optional ingredients. Bonus marks are awarded for their use, but take care not to over-season your dish!

• a Seven Sided Cube!!
• Jealousy
• a Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon!!
• and "Only The Dead Know The Truth"!!

Let the Dungeon Mastering....BEGIN!!

Rules You are to write an encounter or general short-adventure arc using the four items / concepts above. All rules found here are to be followed. The entry is to be no longer than 3,000 words, which includes *everything* you put into the post (save for text in accordance with Rule #4). Judges are instructed to stop reading at that time, or to deduct points if you go over. The use of a spell check and word count is highly recommended. You have 48 hours from the time this post is made. It is not expected that you use all this time - the extra time has been given to ensure that, no matter what your timezone, you should be able to have a 24-hour block within it to compete. You should post your entry into this thread within that time, and ensure it is secreted (to hvg3akaek and all the appropriate judges) and spoilerbuttoned. If your post is not made within the 48 hours, you will be automatically disqualified. If you have issues, be sure to PM or hvg3akaek at gmail dot comemail hvg3akaek *before* your round is closed. Once posted, do not edit your entry. The use of the "preview" function is thus also highly recommended.

[Toba]

 

Sorrow in the Shadow of Scorn
A Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 Adventure for 4 Characters of the 15th Level.

Introduction Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Hell cowers in a puddle of its own fear when that woman is Dezra Collins. A woman of considerable arcane power and cunning intellect, Dezra lied, connived, and seduced her way into the noble court of Dristal. Though her original aim was simply status, wealth, and power, an unforeseen circumstance halted her plans: she became infatuated with Prince Lorence, the future king of Dristal. From that point forward, all of Dezra’s lying, conniving, and seducing was directed towards garnering the Prince’s affection and eliminating potential rivals. Alas, her obsession was completely one sided. The Prince knew her for what she was, and was repulsed. The entire situation came to a head when Prince Lorence began courting a young noble’s daughter, Clair Sirracone. It was no more than a week of this knowledge becoming public than the young girl took to her bed with a horrible illness that was clearly unnatural. Dezra, unable to control her jealously of the beautiful maiden, fabricated a terrible withering curse upon the girl using her parrot familiar, Rogo. The keen bird entered Clair’s chamber through an open window in the night and repeated the curse, completing the spell. Clair, under the full effect of the curse, began to hallucinate, and attempted to stab Prince Lorence and anyone else that approached her. Luckily, The Prince managed to restrain her, and put her in a psychosis ward. The Prince suspected Dezra of cursing the woman, and accused her publicly. Though she had most assuredly committed the act, Dezra denied it with her best lies and contrivances. It was not enough. Rogo’s feather had been found in the bed chamber of young Clair, and the evidence gave certainty to the Prince’s accusations. Prince Lorence was not an unkind man. When a powerful cleric managed to remove the curse, and it was clear Clair would live and make a full recovery, the Prince made his decision. Instead of putting Dezra to death, he chose a more humane punishment: banishment from the kingdom. Neither Dezra nor her pride weathered this insult well. She went into reclusion, disappearing into the mountainous wilds at the edges of the Kingdom. It was in exile she plotted her revenge. Her jealousy rotted her soul even further, creating a shell of a woman that was filled with pure malevolence. She was in this state, when most unfortunately, she stumbled across Screek’s tribe. As far as kobolds went, Screek’s tribe was one of the more outstanding. Capable of self sustaining agriculture, they had not infringed upon any of the human settlements near them, even managed a small amount of trade that benefited all parties. Screek, a sorcerer of some power, chose to employ his powers for the betterment of his tribe. His lifelong mate, Quirk, bore him three hatchlings, and it looked as though the success of his tribe would continue well into the future. That is, until Dezra arrived. She set upon Screek’s tribe like an unholy hurricane of violence and rage. Most were slaughtered outright. Screek’s family was less lucky. Dezra sensed Screek’s vast arcane potential, and it was that power that birthed her most vile plan. She took Quirk and the hatchlings hostage, and forced Screek to submit to her will. Unable to bear the thought of threatening his family, he did as she bade. Dezra then forced upon the kobold the most horrible of curses. Designing the ritual herself, Dezra destroyed Screek’s body, and remade him as a lich. Forced into this horrible state for the sake of his family, Screek allowed the ritual to happen. What he was unaware of was that the phylactery Dezra had bound his soul to, a lapis vase the color of polished sapphires, was inscribed with runes of her own design that gave her complete control of the kobold lich. Her first test of the ritual’s success was to turn Screek upon his own mate and hatchlings. Screeching in sorrow and impotent rage, Screek was forced to complete the horrendous act, and slaughtered his family with his own powers. Completely broken, Screek had now become Dezra’s perfect instrument of vengeance. Dezra loaded the vase into a covered wagon, disguised herself as a trader, and after hiding Screek under the hay, began her trek towards Dristal and her ultimate campaign of vengeance.

The Hook This adventure has a unique element in the fact that the PCs don’t find the adventure, it finds them. Dezra stops in every town on her way towards Dristal, releasing Screek upon the inhabitants of the town. She stops and has a beer in the local Inn with her parrot familiar, Rogo, on her shoulder, while she awaits the resurrection of Screek, who is often slain in his attacks. In this case, the PCs need only be resting in an Inn for the evening, or even be in the town of Jenniston any point when Screek attacks.

Jenniston As stated above, Dezra will do her usual stop at the town’s Inn. She will not appear rushed, but will remain reclusive, trying to remain unnoticed. Rogo, her parrot, with fly about the Inn and land on random patrons’ shoulders. He will then spout out one of his four constant sayings. Use a d4 to determine the following: d4 Result Description 1 That b**** will pay! 2 Those snobs will regret everything! 3 He will be mine! 4 On this option, Rogo repeats the spell DC 19 Will SaveBestow Curse, cursing whoever he is perched upon. See below for curse. Should Rogo curse any patron, a DC 19 Spellcraft check will reveal the spell as Bestow Curse. Rogo, having never forgot the curse Dezra taught him to place on Clair, has managed to memorize the spell along with the other things Dezra constantly murmurs. The effect of the curse spell is that it makes the victim hallucinate terribly, causing allies and friends to appear as violent aggressors. Should a patron be cursed, he will likely panic, acting as though everyone in the bar is trying to kill him, and flee the scene as soon as possible. This will be a hint as to the identity of Dezra, which may help the PCs in figuring out who she is later on. If the PCs ask around the Inn, a DC 14 Gather Information check will reveal that the nearby town of Horrisberg was recently attacked by a vile kobold lich, but luckily it was slain by a group of adventurers who happened to be staying at the Inn at the time. Unfortunately, many of the towns citizens were slain violently. A DC 19 Gather Information will also reveal the phylactery was never found, so it is likely that the lich survived. At noon, Dezra will pay her bill, and leave the bar. She will go directly to her wagon, and leave town. At this time, Screek will revive from being slain in the last town, and following Dezra’s orders, will attack the Inn and attempt to slay all residents of Jenniston. Screek the Lich Thus, the PCs first encounter will be with Screek as he attacks the Inn. He will seem sullen and reluctant the entire fight, even apologizing profusely to any who listen for what he is doing. He will even go so far as to scream at them to flee, even as he attacks them. It will not stop him from slaying every living creature in sight, but the PCs should get the impression he does not wish to harm anyone. With his dying breath, Screek will beseech the party to stop Dezra from reaching Dristal, and that “Only the Dead Know the Truth.” Upon slaying Screek, a Knowledge: Religion DC 21 will reveal Screek will revive in a few days time if his phylactery is not found. Unknown to the party, Dezra has already left town with the Lapis Vase in her wagon, and is on her way to the next town to await Screek’s resurrection.

Cartwright A Knowledge: Local DC 14, or by simply asking any surviving towns folk of Jenniston will reveal Dristal is not too far, and that the only town left between Jenniston and Dristal is Cartwright, a mere two days ride. No matter how fast the PCs travel, they will not be able to catch Dezra before Cartwright. Once there, she will proceed to the Inn in town once again, as she is unaware she is being followed, and repeat the scene from before as she waits patiently for Screek to revive. Unfortunately for the party, the time of his ressurection will be right as they arrive at the Inn. Upon recognizing Dezra, if the party attacks her, she will user her considerable arcane talent to escape. Even if she is not attacked, she will recognize the PCs, and flee by arcane methods to her wagon parked behind the Inn. She will have aid from Screek, as he has now revived, and will attack the PCs reluctantly once again. With Screek detaining the party, she will escape on her wagon once again, now aware that the party is following her. Again, once the party has slain Screek, he will beseech them with the same request as before, though this time adding “Speak the Sum of the Seven Sided Cube…” He will then revive again in 1d10 days from the moment he was destroyed.

The Ambush Between Cartwright and Dristal runs the Calumet River. When following the main road, there is section that is shallow enough for fording, and nearly all traffic uses this ford to cross. Dezra will be aware of the PC’s pursuit now having seen them in Cartwright, and will deploy an ambush to stop the party. When Screek slaughtered his family, Dezra enslaved their souls, creating four Dread Wraiths from the kobold’s family. These she commands to hide in the river and attack the party as they cross. The PCs should arrive at the River in the first hours of night fall. Any PC with the ability to detect the Dread Wraiths will feel something below the surface, but otherwise there are no indications. The Wraiths will wait for the party to begin crossing the river before they ambush from below the waves, using their incorporeal bodies to hide in the rocks.. If detected, the wraiths will simply charge the party. Slaying the Wraiths frees their spirits, and reveals Screek’s comment earlier about “Only the Dead Know the Truth.” Quirk, Screek’s mate, will linger as a spirit and give the party any information that she can about the lich, including the story of how he came to be. She will inform them his phylactery is the Lapis Vase, and that Dezra keeps it in a magically locked cube. She does not know the trick to opening it, but had seen Dezra immerse the cube in a flame before.

Dristal The PCs will catch up to Dezra outside of Dristal’s walls. Her wagon has broken an axel, and she is currently attempting to think of a way to smuggle Screek’s vase into the city when the party happens upon her. She will recognize them immediately, and seek to destroy them using her spells. During the fight, Rogo will fly about the party, shouting his four phrases, and occasionally attempting to curse one of them. Should her life appear to be in danger, Dezra will flee if possible to save her own skin. Dezra, The Scorned Wizard Upon her defeat, a simple search of the wagon will reveal a large black cube. Any sort of flame, whether magical or mundane, that is brought into contact with the cube will make it glow with the number “7” on every side. Using Screek’s other clue, stating the number “42” (6 sides x the number 7) will unlock the cube, revealing inside the Blue Lapis vase. Now the PC’s have a choice to make. If they managed to slay Dezra, Screek has no reason to continue doing her bidding. However, he has slain many innocent people, and his family is now gone. They party may allow him to live, as he was never given a choice in the acts he commited, but likely the victims of the slaughters will seek vengeance against the unfortunate Kobold. If the party chooses to kill him, they need only destroy the vase and that will destroy Screek, ending the abomination forever. If Dezra yet lives, Screek will have to continue to do her bidding upon resurrecting. A DC 22 Spellcraft will determine that the vase can be altered to free Screek from her control. Otherwise it will be very likely the PC’s will be forced to destroy the vase. Also, among the wagon’s many boxes and crates, the PCs will discover 50,000g looted from the various towns, as well as the same magic items found in a 15th level encounter from the Magic Item Compendium loot tables.

Continuation Should the DM wish to continue this adventure, there are more than a few options. If Dezra escaped, Prince Lorence will gladly offer a reward to track her down. Also, if Screek survived the adventure, the party may seek out a way to reverse the ritual that turned him into a lich. Or, he may become violent and seek out vengeance of his own against Dezra, pitting him competitively against the party as they try and bring her to justice for the Prince. If both Dezra and Screek survived, she will likely continue using him against Prince Lorence in future attacks.

Materials For the above adventure, all materials may be found in the online SRD, or within the Player’s Handbook, Dungeon Master’s Guide, and Monster Manual.

Ingrediants Cursing Parrot – Rogo, Dezra’s familiar. Curses like a sailor, and bestows magical curses as well! Kobold Lich – Screek, the reluctant lich forced into a life of servitude. River Ford – The site of the ambush by the Dread Wraiths Lapis Vase – Screek’s phylactery. Hallucinations – The result of Dezra/Rogo’s curse. Moral Quandary – Whether or not to destroy poor Screek, who never wanted to be a lich in the first place! Bonus! Seven Sided Cube – The magical container hiding Screek’s Phylactery Jealousy – Dezra’s attitude towards Clair, the love of Prince Lorence’s life, that drives her to vengeance. Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon – The first encounter with Screek, in the Inn. Only the Dead Know the Truth – The first clue from Screek, hinting at his ensorcelled wraith family.

Word Count - 2407

[Melchior]

 

To Conquer Death
A 3.5e adventure for level 12 characters

Background The Velkou Ocean had long been considered the edge of the world. Until recently, none had succeeded in crossing it and returning to tell the tale. Twenty years ago a brave explorer, whom all had assumed perished, pulled back into harbor, bringing with him stories of exotic lands, animals and people, and of an expansive, unclaimed wilderness. But opportunity travels hand in hand with danger, for there is more hidden in the unclaimed jungles of the New World than gold…

Background After a harrowing journey across the ocean, the ship bearing the PCs arrives in the small port town of Zelva, a newly established colony in the New World, belonging to the Kingdom of Otcina. The Queen of Otcina has issued a land grant to anyone willing to make the journey to the New World. This offer also extends not only to Otcinian citizens, but also to anyone who is willing, so long as they agree to hold the land in the name of Otcina and pay taxes. If the PCs have no interest in serving a, they are under no obligation to do so. Rumours of vast wealth and unexplored frontiers have drawn many unaffiliated adventurers in search of fame, wealth and glory. So long as the PCs don’t take anything that is located on Otcinian territory, and have a valid permit, anything they find belongs to them. PCs that are affiliated with Otcina can expect easier assistance from the appointed officials in the region. Zelva is a small port that had been established only recently. Around the city, there is extensive forest clearing being done, to make room for farmland. The Otcinians are primarily human, but a few members of other races can be found,as can a number of aboriginal people. The best inn in town is The Friendly Parrot. Otcinian affiliated PCs have their rent paid for them while preparations are made for permanent residence. The inn is run by a jovial man named Tam, and his young daughter Natalya. When the PCs first arrive in the inn, they are greeted by a squawking, multicoloured bird. Posha is Natalya’s pet parrot, and the inspiration for the inn’s name. Natalya is very fond of the bird and Tam is clearly the kind of father who is completely incapable of refusing his daughter anything. Settler PCs need to meet the governor in order to finalize their situation; the governor is also the one who hands out exploration permits.. Governor Leo Kristelli is the highest political power in the area. The Governor hands out the permits mentioning that if they find anything interesting, he will be willing to pay a fair price. He’s a collector of fine wares. The centerpiece of his collection is a vase carved from Lapis Lazuli. He will regale the PCs with the tale of his own foray into the jungle. He discovered a ruined temple deep inland, where he found the vase. The governor’s accomplishments are no doubt embellished, but the vase is real enough. Before the party leaves, the governor will offer them a job. Something has been roaming near his estate, the natives claim it is some sort of spirit, but the governor believes it to be a thief, looking to steal his collection. He wants additional security, and will pay a fair price. That night, Zelva will experience the first murder. A settler is found dead in the streets. By the time his body is found, all sign of his killer is gone.

Section 2 The mood hanging over Zelva has grown darker. The townspeople whisper to themselves, glancing fearfully at every shadow. The natives also seem perturbed now that a man has been killed, and many of them can be seen making preparations to leave Zelva. A native woman, dressed in rags can be spotted shouting near the docks, “Beware! Beware, children of foreign land. A fate most bleak is now at hand. On wings of death the Priest-King flies. To ignore my words would be unwise. A mystery dark and unknown forsooth. Only the dead know the truth!” The woman, who is named Coraze, is a soothsayer and half-mad. She speaks exclusively in rhyming couplets and never gives a straight answer to anything. A DC 25 Knowledge History check tells the players that a massive lizardfolk empire once covered this continent. They were led by their Priest-King, who was said to have the blood of the dragon god granting him untold power. Centuries ago, the empire crumbled. No one knows exactly why. Lizardfolk tribes still inhabit the deep jungle, a shadow of their former glory, and are extremely hostile to non-lizardfolk. Asking around, the PCs can learn that the deceased had accepted a job in the governor’s household. The crime scene is suspiciously clean. Search DC 25 to spot tracks belonging to the murderer, which reveals that the murderer is a small creature, and was wearing shoes. A murder will occur every night following the first. Each victim is tied to the Governor’s household. If the party is out at night, they can potentially hear the struggle, but the deed is done before they arrive at the scene. This will allow them to more easily follow any tracks, as the killer has no time to hide their trail. Survival DC 18 to track the trail back to the Friendly Parrot Inn. Following the third death, the governor places a 10,000g bounty on the killer’s head. The PCs will be asked to help patrol the town at night. If at any point one of the PCs uses Speak with Dead to question one of the corpses, they will name Tehequet Mahuiztililoni as their murderer. During the nights, the party can be attacked, but only if they split up. Posha the parrot is stalking the party and will attack any PC that separates from the group. Treat Posha as the familiar of a 12th level sorcerer, with the following abilities: at will- blindness/deafness, bestow curse, contagion; 3/day- waves of fatigue. Posha will attempt to blind the PC, and then place his curses before flying away, leaving the PC blind and stumbling through the night. If Posha is seen before he can manage to curse the PC, he will attempt to act like an innocent parrot. If this doesn’t work, or would obviously fail, then he will attempt to escape. Returning to the inn during the night, the party will encounter an extremely worried Tam. Natalya is missing from her room, and no one knows where she has gone. Natalya is no longer in the city. A skilled tracker may follow the girl’s tracks (DC 24). They lead to the governor’s house, which has been broken into during the night, and several of the guards slain. The governor’s vase has been stolen. Natalya’s tracks lead into the building, and then back out, heading towards the jungle. It appears young Natalya is the thief, and potentially the murderer. Tam insists that Natalya could never do something so horrible. She must have been ensorcelled, and he begs the PCs to rescue his daughter. If the PCs can’t follow the tracks, they will still know something is wrong when Natalya does not return by morning. Attempts to scry Natalya fail; she is blocked from such spells. No one knows where the girl might have run off to. There are few natives remaining who haven’t fled, but all they can tell the PCs is that there are a number of cursed ruins that the natives avoid, deep in the jungles. Coraze, the mad soothsayer who is still shouting her doomsayings around the town, does: Natalya is headed for the ruins of the ancient king’s palace. Coraze is not particularly good at relaying directions, but eventually the PCs are able to get an approximate location for the temple out of her. Provided the PCs have treated her well so far, they can ask her to come along as a guide. Coraze is a level 7 Adept.

Section 3 A tracker may follow Natalya’s trail through the jungle (DC 16). The girl never stops for sleep, so the party will not be able to overtake her. If they attempt to use Fly spells, they cannot spot her through the thick jungle canopy. The journey through the jungle to Tlapalitaoul, the ruined capital city of the Irmetzli Empire, takes two weeks if following Coraze’s directions. Having Coraze guide them personally, or following Natalya’s trail cuts this down to a week and a half. The jungle is filled with an abundance of dangerous creatures, and after a week, lizardfolk warriors begin stalking them through the forest. Eventually, the party comes across a massive river cutting through the jungle It’s too wide to swim. Coraze names this river the Atoyaatl, and her directions tell the group to follow it north where there will be a crossing. Following Natalya’s trail, or having Coraze guide the party, will take them directly to the ford. The river is thinner here, but it is still nearly three miles across, and the water is knee deep. Halfway across, the party will be attacked by lizardfolk. Massive undead snakes accompany the lizardfolk into battle. The leader of this hunting party is named Miquiciyac. Miquiciyac will rant about the return of King Tehequet throughout the fight. Boss Fight Miquiciyac: Level 10 Cleric 2 Level 6 rangers 6 Level 3 warriors 4 giant constrictor snakes, skeleton Miquiciyac’s Domains are Death and Destruction. As his lizardfolk warriors die he will start raising them as zombies. After they cross the ford, they are only a day’s journey from the ruins of Tlapalitaoul.

Section 4 Tlapalitaoul is an expansive ruined city that must have been a sight to behold in its prime, but has now been nearly completely reclaimed by the jungle. It is to the largest pyramid, the High Temple of the Dragon God, and the tomb of Priest-King Tehequet Mahuiztililoni, that the PCs are directed by Coraze. The lizardfolk consider the ruins sacred, and no longer inhabit the city so the ruins appear empty at first. As the party goes through them, they will periodically experience visions, manfiested by the Irmetzli unable to realize their civilization has been gone for centuries. The entire world around them will shift and the party will view Tlapalitaoul at the height of its power. It is magnificent to behold. Citizens appear in these visions as well, shades of the past reliving the final days of their Empire. The visions will eventually disappear, to be replaced by new scenes as the party moves on to other parts of the city. Coraze warns the party not to speak to anyone. If anyone in the party speaks to or interacts with one of the shades, the vision is dispelled and the Irmetzli turn into Shadows and attack. The visions should continue to appear the entire time the PCs are in Tlapalitaoul. The High Temple is a grand building. There are a number of altars inside the massive chamber the party enters. Each one is for a significant god worshiped by the Irmetzli, three on either side of the room, and the largest near the back. The last altar appears to have been dedicated to the Divine Dragon; not a godthat the party is familiar with. A DC 30 Knowledge History or Religion check reveals that worship of the Dragon God was brought after the rise of the Priest-King. It is the divine dragon from which Tehequet traced his lineage. The entrance to the tomb is in behind the temple’s altar. Descending the stairs, the party comes into a room covered with faded murals, and carved statues. The murals appear to tell the story of the Priest-King’s rise to power over the lizardfolk of the region, and the expansion of the Irmetzli Empire under his rule. Interestingly Tehequet appears much smaller than the other lizardmen. The final murals, depicting the Priest-King’s fall are faded and broken in places, but one prominent picture has a lizardman attacking Tehequet with a spear, and an image of the king’s soul escaping his body and being sucked into a blue urn. Across from the entrance to the room, is a magically sealed door. In the center of a room is a table, and on the table is a collection of objects: a sphere, a pyramid, a cylinder, a cube, a heptahedron and an icosahedron. Carved into the table are draconic characters that read: “Ultimate power comes from within.” Coraze can read draconic if she is there. To solve the puzzle, the PCs must take the correct object and insert it into the matching hole located in the door. There is a hole for each object. The objects all feature carvings of the Irmetzli gods taking up one of the sides. Those object without seven sides are missing gods, while the one with twenty has duplicates. The cube is the only object without an image of the Divine Dragon on it somewhere. The correct answer is the cube. A DC 15 search check of the cube reveals tiny hinges on it's edges, allowing it to swing open and reveal an image of the Divine Dragon on the interior of the cube. The Divine Dragon is the greatest of the gods, and ultimate power comes from within. Turning the cube inside out and placing it into the door solves the puzzle. Behind the door waits a long corridor. At the other end of the corridor swirling blue energy can be seen. Natalya is in the chamber. The girl is caught up in the ritual; looking like her soul is being pulled from her body. The sarcophagus of Tehequet sits in front of her.. Kristelli’s vase sits atop the sarcophagus. Something dark, like shadow, is being pulled out of the vase, melding into the energy. Posha the parrot sits nearby and turns to look at the party when they enter. A skeletal lizardman stands in the room, observing the ritual, turning when the party enters. The lizardman gives his name as Necoc, which means traitor. He was the one who struck down the Priest King and destroyed the Irmetzli Empire, and was cursed for it. Bound to the shattered soul of his king, Necoc seeks redemption. He will not let the party interrupt his king’s rebirth. Necoc is a level 6 Barbarian/5 Frenzied Berserker with the Death Knight template. Posha will assist Necoc in the fight. During the fight Necoc will regale the party with the story of his damnation. Tehequet Mahuiztililoni was not a lizardman. He was not even a native of this continent. He came from the Old World, a stowaway on ship that hoped to be the first to cross the ocean. When the ship was wrecked in a storm, Tehequet was the only one to wash ashore. After wandering in the jungle he happened across a lizardfolk hunting party. Confused, the lizardmen mistook him for a child of some rival tribe due to his size. Tehequet was a kobold, not even half their size. But what he lacked in sized he made up for in ego and charisma, and impressive magic talent. Before long, Tehequet had convinced the superstitious native lizardmen that he was descended from gods and dragons. The tribe made the kobold their leader. Amazingly, he proved to have a remarkable talent for leadership. And empire building. Within a scant few years, the tribe had conquered all their rivals and was expanding. A few decades later, the Irmetzli were the undisputed masters of their domain. And Tehequet was worshiped as a living god. But Necoc had resented that an outsider had been the one to raise them so high. He had been a great warrior, and had felt that it should have been his right to unite his people and guide them to glory. Not a stunted foreign wretch. So Necoc had assassinated his king. In a last ditch effort to save himself, Tehequet poured all of his power into the only thing nearby: a vase carved from Lapis Lazuli that had been offered to him in tribute by a conquered tribe. But the king had been unable to complete the transfer, and his soul had been split, with part of it to wander without thought, inhabiting whatever life it could attach itself to. Without Tehequet to hold it together, the Empire crumbled. Over the centuries, Tehequet's power has regrown, enabling him to exert control of his hosts. Natalya, a child, is mentally weak. The Priest-King has been dominating her, having her kill the governor's men until he found one with a key, and then stealing the vase and bringing it to his tomb. Now the king’s soul could be reunited and returned to his body. The Irmetzli would rise again, and Necoc would repay his people for his treachery. From the start of the fight with Necoc, the party has 5 rounds before Tehequet’s ritual is complete and he breaks free of his sarcophagus and emerges as a level 12 kobold sorcerer lich. If Coraze is with the party she will tell the party that the only way to stop the Priest-King’s full revival is by killing Natalya while her soul is still mingled with Tehequet’s. Otherwise the king will restore his empire and wage war across the continent. Nataya is held fast by the ritual, and cannot be pulled, teleported or otherwise removed from the room. If the party does kill Natalya, Tehequet’s rebirth is foiled and he manifests as a Dread Wraith to attack the party. After dealing with him, Tehequet’s soul is destroyed for good and there is no danger of him returning. If they do not and the ritual is allowed to finish, Tehequet bursts free of his coffin as a new born lich. Tehequet will not fight and teleports away immediately. Natalya falls unconscious but otherwise fine. Reborn, Tehequetin will now rally his shattered Empire, starting a war that will drown the continent in fire. But that's a different adventure.

Ingredients Cursing Parrot: Pasho the Parrot, Tehequet's familiar, who has the ability to place magical curses. Kobold Lich: Priest-King Tehequet Mahuiztililoni, who is undergoing a ritual of rebirth to rise as a lich and reclaim his Empire. River Ford: The site of the battle against Tehequet's minions. Lapis Vase: The vase that houses the majority of Tehequet's soul. Hallucinations: the visions of old Tlapalitaoul, made real again by the desire of the dead Irmetzli. Moral Quandary: To prevent Tehequet's rebirth, the party must kill an innocent child. If they do not, the king rises from his grave and will plunge the continent into a bloody war. Seven Sided Cube: The solution to the door puzzle. The seventh side is the inside. Jealousy: Necoc's envy motivated him to kill his king, which caused the collapse of the Irmetzli Empire. Saloon Shout-Out at High Noon: not used Only the Dead Know the Truth: Originally thought to be one of Coreza's insane ramblings. However the murder victims name the Priest-King, who is controlling Natalya's body as their murderer. Additionally Necoc is a death knight, and he is the only one that knows the whole truth of Tehequet's life and revival, besides Tehequet himself, who is also dead.

[Sakure]

 

Sorrow in the shadow of scorn
Wow, what a deviously dark entry! I really felt bad for the poor lich, you did a wonderful job of really making the player hate your villain. It was overall well written and easy to follow. The plot and characters were all well defined with enough details to give me a little sense of immersion that makes it feel like a place and not a combat map.

The story was entertaining and seemed to utilize the ingredients in a way that felt natural for the most part until we started approaching the latter half...

I think you went a little overboard with your ingredients this time Toba. I'd say Kudos for trying but it really only got negative feelings from me. The following ingredients left a bad taste:
Seven Sided Cube
Saloon Shoot out
River Ford
Only the dead know the truth

I mean, I know you got them in there, but if you had dropped like three you might have had enough space to work well with the remaining one.

To conquer death
Another great entry! Kind of dark, but it seems suitable for its opponent in the final round of the event! I liked the idea and the hooks, they were well executed and didn't feel tacked on. I also really enjoyed the ending, how it could go either way with differing outcomes. I don't normally care about the formatting but it might have been easier to process things if it was broken up a little more for me.
All the ingredients were at least okay except 'Only the Dead Know the Truth'. The kobold was placed well, and I liked that you made him charismatic, I just wished we could have seen some of that in the game itself. But oh well.

This is the best match up I've seen, the first time there wasn't a clear winner right away for me, but my character is going to follow the rabbit to someone's game...

 

Toba's Sorrow in the Shadow of Scorn

[Squeak]

 

Toba

Writing: Flawless, as would be expected from this point in the competition. It was an enjoyable read. Score: 10/10

Adventure Concept/Story: I felt the 'tricking' the kobold into lichdom was a bit forced - why trick a kobold I to lichdom when they easily could have gotten one to do it voluntarily? I know it was nitpicky, but at this level that is tone expected. Score: 9/10

Use of Ingredients: Kobold lich was very good - focal point, Not marked down here, since it was marked down above but as noted above was a bit forced. I wish the cursing parrot had a bit more of a role. The hallucinations could have been better executed.
Bonus ingredients:
7 sided cube - well used, +1
Jealousy - again, well used. +1
Saloon shoot out - not crazy about the execution, it was a battle not a shootut. no points.
Only the dead know the truth. This was good. +1
Total score 9+3 bonus points, 12/10

Gameplay/Technical Accuracy: I liked the creation of a sheet for Screek. At this stage,would have liked maps and a bit more detail. Would have liked details on the dread wraiths and a bit more explanation on how they would fight.

Would have liked to understood how Dezra created that spell, seemed difficult for a level 14 character to do that. Perfect opportunity for a newly created spell.

I know I have been very nitpicky on all of these, but these are the finals. Score 8/10

Total Score:39/40

Melichor

Writing: as expected at this level, flawless. Score:10/10

Adventure/Story Concept: Good, but I felt a bit railroaded. Score:9/10

Use of Ingredients: I thought all of the ingredients were well used. The 3 bonus ingredients were also well used, I especially liked the 7 sided cube. +1 for each (total of +3). Score: 13/10

Gameplay/Technical Accuracy: At this level, I'd expect a link or details of NPcs, but there were none. No maps or anything either. The required checks were also really high - and were required to advance the story. Score 7/10

Total score: 39/40

Uh oh, tie score. Both submissions were excellent and worthy of the final round.

As a tie breaker, I simply went back and read them again - trying to decide which one I would rather play.

My verdict, by the narrowest of margins goes to

 

Toba!

[RonarsCorruption]

 

Nice to meet you all, I’m RonarsCorruption. You might know me for my work in Explosive Runes, or perhaps from Outplay. More relevantly, you should know that I’m a professional adventure writer, and I’m going to be judging your applications as best I can on their more technical merits, alongside the normal judging for things like being interesting and playable and using the ingredients. Specifically:
Playability, out of 10 – how easy/fun would it be to play this adventure
Runability, out of 10 – how easy/fun would it be to run this adventure
Completeness, out of 10 – does it go from plot hook to final reward? Is there anything missing between?
Technical merits, out of 10 – Most other things that catch my eye; plot holes, consistent formatting, writing quality, balance issues and the like will be covered in here.
Ingredients, out of 10 each – creative usage and importance to the plot.
Optional ingredients will be scored from -5 to 5. Be warned!
A final warning; I am not going to be gentle here. Constructive hopefully, but far from gentle. The gloves are off.

 

Playability – 8 - I would enjoy playing in this adventure. Interesting characters and motivations, fighting against spellcasters who are acting in secret. There's a few places where the players are really shoehorned into a specific course of action, which at level 15 is a poor course of action - and one players won't enjoy.
Runability – 3 - On that factor, actually, you don't account at all for high level magic. Teleportation, Scrying... hell, even interrogating the parrot would screw this adventure up heavily. Nearly every encounter looks like it's written for low-level PCs who just happen to be able to handle high-level encounters. "no matter how fast the PCs travel" is foolish. PCs can travel to other planes by this level, or across the planet, instantly.
Completeness – 10 - The plot is very well contained, and complete. The backstory and the continuation, the motivations and the characters. Good work.
Technical – 8 - There were a lot of mechanical things you didn't adress based on the party's power level - but it's overall pretty solid. You also included external stat sheets which I think would cause you to go over the word count, if they were counted. So there's that, too.

And the ingredients:
Cursing Parrot – 8 - I like that the parrot not only curses, but repeats the bestow curse spell. You don't explain how the parrot is able to cast the spell, instead of just saying the words, but that's not too major of an issue for the comparitive coolness factor.
Kobold Lich – 10 - I love Skreek. His story, his powers, his personality, why he is a lich and how he is tied to the story. Very impressive.
River Ford – 4 - While the encounter that happens at the ford is interesting, the fact that it happens at a ford is very clearly because the ingredient said it had to.
Lapis Vase – 7 - A good use of the vase, though I think it might have been better off if Dezra would go from town to town, selling the vase, instead of just... moving it. That'd be a neat trick.
Hallucinations – 5 - These were the effect of the curse at the beginning. It was a passable use, but not particularly exciting or interesting.
Moral Quandary – 9 - I love the quandry of slaying or freeing the lich. I didn't read the character sheets, but I would have liked it if he was actually a good kobold lich, too. Screw with the whole 'undead are always evil' trope.

Seven Sided Cube – 3 - You missed a good opportunity for it to be a trick - six sides saying six, plus a 'seventh' side that people wouldn't know about without Skreek's clue. A good use of the ingredient, but you missed the mark from great.
Jealousy – 2 - The main villian's motive. Nothing exceptional, but well tied-in.
Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon – -1 - You came close, but this was neither a shoot out, nor high noon.
"Only The Dead Know The Truth" – 1 - A decent use, sure, but at this level there's a lot of magic that could also be the case. I would have loved for you to add a magical reason that explains that nobody alive could know the secret - but ghosts are immune. You missed the mark on awesome, but got to decent, at least.


SCORE: 87/100

 

Playability – 5 - I'm bouncing between thinking this would be fun, and this would be awful to be in. The knowledge in particular doesn't exist until the PCs roll high enough. I mean, it seems like it would be cool, and the setting is good, but there's way too many logical holes for me to really think I'd enjoy this as a player.
Runability – 3 - And, unfortunately, that goes double as a GM. Things like 'the lich will regale the party during the fight' are terrible. At that point it's better that the PCs don't know - and they're already going to be not knowing a lot.
Completeness – 6 - Most of the information needed is in here, but not in any usable way. The GM is presented with the information when needed, not when he should be. The intro is okay, but needs to be so much more detailed it's not funny.
Technical – 2 - I'm noticing a lot of 'oh by the way's in this adventure. Oh, by the way there are natives. Oh by the way, despite nobody knowing of this continent, PCs may know that there was a lizardfolk empire here. There are no clues... unless the PCs find the footprints. How the hell would the townsfolk know the name of the lizardfolk priest king? Things like that abound.

And the ingredients:
Cursing Parrot – 7 - I can see a bunch of factors involved here, but the big one is that this parrot is... weird. How did it murder people? Why does it live in town? It feels like a lot of the answers are 'just because'.
Kobold Lich – 7 - Kind of optional, and for the record: that's not how a lich is made. I mean, plot, but still. There's a good chance the PCs will never even see the lich - see moral quandry for more.
River Ford – 4 - An encounter at a river ford. It's alright, but it's clearly there because it needs to be to satisfy the ingredient. What if PCs flew or teleported over the gap?
Lapis Vase – 2 - It's there, but I don't see how the mayor actually got it, or what point it has other than as something that was found in the ruins so the PCs know the ruins exist.
Hallucinations – 7 - a creative use of this ingredient. I think it would have been better if this was 'all the time' instead of just randomly, but whatever.
Moral Quandary – 2 - This isn't really a quandry. It's presented in such a way as to sound like "If you kill her, you'll save the world from the lich. And if not, then she'll die anyways *and* you have to fight a lich." By far the lesser of two evils. Also, the PCs could probably just raise her from the dead after, if it came down to that. I'm sure there's enough diamond dust in the new world.

Seven Sided Cube – 2 - Oh, the *in*side. Not a surprise, but decently used.
Jealousy – 4 - Okay, I was thinking you had tied this to the whole mayor thing, but the lizardfolk priest is much better.
Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon – 0 - not used.
"Only The Dead Know The Truth" – -1 - Why? Because! The dead knowing the dead king's name is probably the stupidest thing for the dead to know. The undead knowing things makes a lot more sense, but it's still a little stretched.

SCORE: 48/100

 

I would love for this to have been a close match, but unfortunately it just wasn't. One competitor destroyed this match, the other stumbled and fell at the last and worst moment.

My vote goes to Toba!

[TheChuck]

 

 

Playability for me is how easy to understand the adventure is. Does it flow logically? Is it presented well? How easy would it be to pick up and run this adventure as the DM? How much fun does this adventure include for a player?

Use of Ingredients. How creatively are the ingredients used. Do they fit well into the story or do they seem forced?

Writing. Pretty straightforward here, how well written is your adventure? Is it filled with typos and grammatical errors. On a site where literally the only thing we have to present ourselves with is our writing, this should be stellar.

Scores will be out of 10, with 5 being average and 10 being stellar. To get a 1 you really have to blow something pretty badly.

 

Playability: I like this adventure. It flows well and mostly makes sense, though there are some minor flaws and a touch of railroading. The first thing that struck me as odd is that while Dezra is trying to be innocuous in an inn, waiting for Screek to resurrect her parrot is randomly flying about spouting epithets and actual Curses at people. It seems to me that that would perhaps attract some attention.

Another bit that I thought was a flaw was the fact that you state that 'No matter how fast the PCs travel, they will not be able to catch Dezra before Cartwright.' which is railroading. What if a PC is familiar with the area and could teleport? Could they not cut off Dezra and force the encounter to happen before she gets to the next town? These are 15th level PCs who should have a lot of options at their disposal here. Chasing is the option that the adventure suggests, but it isn't necessarily the best one available.

Regardless of those two flaws, this is a very excellent adventure. You provide all the information, including the character sheets of the two main bad guys. This adventure would be easy to pick up and run as the DM. There's a pile of background information and numerous other ways to tie the PCs in if the DM doesn't want to use the provided hook.

As a player this game looks like a ton of fun as well. There's an urgency to solving the problem and catching Dezra before she reaches the city that should help keep the PCs on their toes. I also LOVE the moral dilemma of destroying Screek or not, though it is an ingredient and there was going to be a tough choice in there somewhere.

Overall, you live up to the expectations set in your previous rounds. 8/10

Use of Ingredients:
Cursing Parrot: Slightly more than literally a cursing parrot, as it also spouts clues that the PCs might be able to use to learn what is going on. 6/10
Kobold Lich: Literally a kobold lich, used as one of the main enemies in the adventure. 7/10
River Ford: Straightforward, the location a fight takes place. 5/10
Lapis Vase: The lich's phylactery, nothing special but not bad. 6/10
Hallucinations: The effects of the curse bestowed by the parrot. I would like to see these be more important to the PCs, but as is there's only a chance that they'll be targeted at all. 5/10
Moral Quandary: I love the quandary of killing Screek or not. 8/10

Bonus! Bonus Ingredients will be given a -2/+2 score.
Seven Sided Cube: Protection for the phylactery, not bad but the clues don't really point to the solution in my opinion. +1
Jealousy: Dezra's motivation for vengeance. +1
Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon: Forced, not necessary. -1
"Only The Dead Know The Truth": A clue that solves nothing really. Meh. 0

Writing: Impeccable, as always. I spotted no errors at all. 10/10

Total: 56/80

 

Playability: I like this adventure. I like the feel of exploring an unknown continent, uncovering the history of the land as you go and fighting against the rebirth of a terrible power. That said, it has its flaws. The biggest problem I had with it is that this is an unknown land, only recently discovered, and yet you have more than one occasion where the PCs have to make a Knowledge: History check about the place to recall some esoteric information about the place. If no one has ever traveled here until just a year or two ago, how would any PC have ever heard anything about it?

For the most part the adventure seems easy enough to pick up and run. A few minor quibbles include the names of the places and some of the NPCs. I know it's supposed to have an aztec/mayan feel to the jungle adventure, but working out all these wonky names would be a pain in the backside. Also the seer that only speaks in rhyming couplets could be a real nightmare for a DM that isn't good at those kinds of things. Things like that I think should be left up to the DM to include on his own and not be forced into. The cube puzzle seems odd to me, I guess I'm just not sure what makes the cube the answer. The 'strength comes from within' thing seems forced, as any of those shapes could have been crafted hollow and have the same thing.

I admit that the adventure seems like it would be a lot of fun to play through. There's a solid mystery to solve and some opportunities for Diplomacy and a couple good fights. I like the flashback scenes, but you don't provide any information for the type or number of shadows that appear and need to be fought if the PCs try to interact with the people in the vision.

Overall it's a well put together adventure, but it has some flaws that will need some fixing.

7/10

Ingredient Use:
Cursing Parrot: Yes it's a straightforward parrot, but it is also smart enough to play dumb while it hides in the town. 5/10
Kobold Lich: The bad guy who must be stopped from being re-born as a lich. Nice usage, if straightforward. 6/10
River Ford: The location of a fight. 5/10
Lapis Vase: Essentially a phylactery, just like Toba used it. 6/10
Hallucinations: The visions seen by the PCs that reveal some of the history and background of what's going on. Nicely done. 8/10
Moral Quandary: To kill the girl or not. A child's life on the line will definitely give most PCs pause. 8/10
Bonus! Bonus Ingredients will be given a -2/+2 score.
Seven Sided Cube: The solution to the puzzle. +1
Jealousy: It seems odd at first to learn that the lizardman who originally killed the kobold is now aiding in his resurrection. That said, in order to be free from the curse that's kept him undead all these years is a sufficient motivation. Regardless, this has little effect on the PCs directly, but does not seem forced. +1
Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon: Not used. 0
"Only The Dead Know The Truth": It seems like you tried to force this in in one regard and in the others it's a bit of a stretch. 0

Writing: Your writing is good, but there were some typos and errors here and there. Not your best writing job. 8/10

Total: 55/80.

 

This was an excellent match, and honestly the one that I had hoped would be the final given the quality of both contestants' previous adventures. Melchior was slightly more creative with a couple of his ingredients, but Toba put together a more solid adventure overall. That and his writing really shined and was more polished than Melchior's this time around. Great match guys, but my vote has to go to Toba by a hair.

[EngrInAZ]

My judgment is rendered…

 

I am using a 1 – 5 point scale. Bonus Items get a max of 2 bonus points.

Sorrow in the Shadow of Scorn - Toba

Category	Score	Comments
Ingredients
Cursing Parrot	5	Very creative use of a Parrot the casts curse and has foul language.
Kobold Lich	5	I like that the backstory of the kobold and how he was forced to be a lich rather than some power hungry, evil creature.
River Ford	4	I like the ambush idea at the ford, but the wraiths have no real connection to water. It seemed more like you needed a ford so that’s where the ambush would happen, could have been anywhere.
Lapis Vase	3	Nice that the phylactery is a Lapis Vase, but there is no connection to why it would be a Lapis Vase.
Hallucinations	5	I like the use of hallucinations as the result of the curse, adds a nice opportunity for the DM to create interesting imagery and tension.
Moral quandary	4	I’m not completely sold on the moral quandary. Not sure how much of a quandary it is to release a creature that was forced into it’s condition.
Seven Sided Cube (Bonus)	2	I like the cube with 7’s on its sides.
Jealousy (Bonus)	2	The driving emotion for Dezra is jealousy.
Saloon shoot-Out at High Noon (Bonus)	2	The combat with the kobold lich occurs at noon, in a tavern.
“Only The Dead Know The Truth” (Bonus)	2	The wraith are actually the kobold’s family, who know the truth of the events.
Game Play
Story Concept	5	Nice story idea with interesting characters and events that compel the PCs into the adventure.
Technical Details	5	DCs included for knowledge and information gathering. I like the inclusion of tactics for some of the major encounters.
Writing
Grammar/Spelling	5	No major spelling or grammatical issues.
Cohesion/Structure	5	The sections all flow together nicely, and there is not an assumption of knowledge of future events.
Total Points	54/50	108% A++

To Conquer Death - Melchior

Category	Score	Comments
Ingredients
Cursing Parrot	5	I like the Parrot that is actually a familiar with the ability to cast curses.
Kobold Lich	5	I like the priest-king’s attempt at rebirth.
River Ford	4	Nice ambush idea at a river ford.
Lapis Vase	3	Again, there is a Lapis Vase, but it could be almost anything else, why Lapis…because it is an ingredient.
Hallucinations	4	There are hallucinations that have negative consequences, but not sure about relevance to the adventure.
Moral quandary	5	I like the moral quandary, whether to kill the innocent girl to prevent the Lich from rising.
Seven Sided Cube (Bonus)	2	If inside is the seventh side, then outside is the eighth?
Jealousy (Bonus)	2	Necoc is driven by jealousy to kill the king.
Saloon shoot-Out at High Noon (Bonus)	0	N/A
“Only The Dead Know The Truth” (Bonus)	2	Speaking to the dead reveals the murderer and the undead Necoc knows the whole story.
Game Play
Story Concept	5	I like the concept of weaving a murder mystery with the rising of a Lich. Very creative and interesting.
Technical Details	5	There are DCs for knowledge and information gathering. Would have liked some tactics for the encounters but it doesn’t take away from the story.
Writing
Grammar/Spelling	4	There were some grammatical issues.
Cohesion/Structure	5	The Sections work well together, giving a cohesive adventure.
Total Points	51/50	102% A+

I must commend each of the final contestants for their excellent work. I truly enjoyed reviewing the concoctions, they are both wonderful adventures.

Now for my decision…Both contestants did a nice job of using the ingredients, with a few minor exceptions. The stories were interesting and creative and I would gladly run either one. The decision came down to a couple of minor issues with ingredients and some grammatical inconsistencies. The challenger need to be nearly perfect if he wanted to unseat the defending champion and the champ need to give him an opening. Both happened, as Toba was able to include one more bonus and Melchior stumbled his editing.

So my vote is for Toba.

[mad_gondsman]

Ho-Ho-Ho! I'm going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts!

 

Toba Awe, hell. This entry isn't half bad. For that, you get 50% of my holiday wrath. This entry is pretty well written. Some of the ingredients stick out like a two-dollar hooker at Sunday school, but they are fun, so some of my ire is forgiven. Your story progresses logically... in its own way. I literally laughed out loud when you wrote that the wizardess set out in a wagon with the kobold lich hidden under the hay. While this doesn't make much sense at all (given her knowledge and the extent of her powers), I loved it didn't hate it so much. I also laughed that the powerful wizardess was undone and delivered into the hands of the PCs by a broken wagon axle. It pains my black-as-coal heart to say it, but well-done, sir. I don't think, however, that she would pose much of a challenge for the group. This adventure looks pretty clean and straight-forward. It looks like a first-round-loser novice DM could pick this one up and run it without bungling it all to hell. It also has plenty of room for laughs without detracting from the gravity of the plot, so you get a few nods for the fun-factor. There is more to judge, however. Make sure the children are in bed and sound asleep... this could get ugly. The INGREDIENTS! Cursing Parrot - Grrrr. You had to include the ingredient, and that's what you did... so it feels like a random pick and would get a lot more attention than you give it. It seems that before long, tales of this Toucan Sam harbinger of undead kobold doom would be linked to the disasters and no longer be tolerated. It wouldn't have taken much to have made a parrot more relevant by tweaking the setting, but... you didn't. Kobold Lich - You went a little farther and tied this one to another of the ingredients, which is a nice touch. I hate it when the ingredients come together like a nasty stitched-together franken-monster. While this one is okay, it isn't great, though. It still seems like it needs more of a story. River Ford - It's in there, I guess. Lapis Vase - As I mentioned, you tied this to the lich ingredient... not bad. Hallucinations - Not very important to the adventure. This could have been chlamydia and nothing would change. The Princess would even still try to stab the prince if the circumstances were right... or wrong. Moral Quandary - This isn't much of a quandary, to me. It's obvious that he has been victimized and turned from a kind kobold into a nigh-unstoppable dreadfully persistent eldritch lizard lich. You did tie it to more ingredients, though. Too bad it was a flop. Bonuses? Seven Sided Cube – Hmm. Jealousy – A gem in the rough. Well done. If you had treated the other ingredients with as much thought! Saloon Shoot-Out at High Noon – Kind of a stretch... Only the Dead Know the Truth – Hmm... this wound up being more important than the River Ford. So, Toba! While your adventure's fun factor and DM-know-how would likely make it a memorable game, your ingredients sucked a yule log. You made better use of the bonus ingredients than you did the main ones. Not sure if that's a real bonus.

Melchior I believe I've had the opportunity to judge each of your previous submissions, Melchior... and while this one is a solid one, it is my least favorite. Frowny face. Again, your strength is making these increasingly ridiculous ingredients seem as if they belong in the adventure. Logic and playability are both there. This one kind of drags in the beginning like a dog with worms, though. Thankfully, you end with a hell of a bang. I do enjoy your attention to detail. The names and places that you have conjured sound as if they sprung from the heart of a jungle! Very immersive. I would love to be a player in this one in spite of my lack of interest in homebrew. If all homebrew was as good as your adventures, I'd be a fan. The INGREDIENTS! Cursing Parrot: While nothing special, you did accommodate the parrot by setting this adventure in the jungle. It doesn't seem quite so unusual in its own habitat. Kobold Lich: Only one way to handle this one, but that's a great antagonist with a great story. Nicely done. While a bit obligatory, the kobold's story gave the ingredient depth... and that made it a lot easier to swallow. River Ford: I remembered the combat but not the River! Nothing inherently important about the river ford, but I enjoy cinematic encounters, so... I won't cut you to ribbons over it. Lapis Vase: You and Toba both had the same idea here. I'd have done the same thing, as predictable as it is. Hallucinations: While this ingredient isn't as important, it's a good mechanic to set the stage and drum up a sense of adventure... something to grab the PCs' interest and throttle them a little. Things like this are the hallmark of any DM worth his or her salt. Moral Quandary: Now THAT's a moral quandary that is bound to throw players for a loop. Outstanding. The bonuses... Seven Sided Cube: Okay. Jealousy: I loved this. I'm going to steal it for an adventure of my own, one day. Only the Dead Know the Truth: I like how you tagged this one twice, and did a solid job with both. What I really like, however, is how the dead name Tehequet! I can hear the players scratching their heads as they puzzle over this tasty morsel of foreshadowing, wonderin how deep this is going to go.

Final thoughts!

All nastiness aside, these were both really good adventures. They both appealed to me in different ways, but the winner is clear...

 

Melchior!

Toba, your entry seems to be a more lighthearted romp that promises a more fun experience, but Melchior's execution is nearly flawless. He is very hard to beat at integrating those ingredients in ways that make them sing. Every encounter drew me deeper and deeper into the adventure, and that is what makes D&D so near and dear to my heart.

[Embrodak]

 

I read this after suffering through the Holidays with a nasty cold and fever induced hallucinations.

I've come to this year's Iron DM with a much simpler method. No point scale. No categories.. Just which one did I like more.

I have to say I like both entries, but I liked Toba's more, and my vote goes to him. Why.. Well I liked the simplicity of his module. The base jealousy of Dezra was a standard trope, but I liked the use of the Kobold lich better in this entry.

The other problem I have is I found too many questions in Melchior entry. Like why in a sizable area as this would they turn to the PC's to solve a crime spree.. Is that not why they have investigators and police? I didn't really see why the PC's would get involved.. Is it just because they are level 12. Why would the murdered say it was Tehequet Mahuiztililoni that murdered them? We do not even know who that is until the end of the adventure.. I mean would they not say Natalya? It was her physical body that murdered them... Is it now that they are dead they know she was possessed. Lastly I just think they are railroaded. There was never a chance to solve the murders before Natalya heads off into the jungle.

[hvg3akaek]

Originally Posted by Chairman Hugga

Two fine craftsmen have come before us, delivering stories including Wyvern puzzles, desert elves, and an imprisoned kobold shaman; as well as skeletal dinosaurs, fiery chefs, and an army of stone golems. Adventures have been crafted, and excitement had by all, but as always, it comes down to only one contestant who can claim the Iron DM title.

Many of the judges had a hard time deciding between the two final entries, showing just how high the calibre of the competitors is, but a decision was reached. With a final score of 6-1, Toba defeats Melchior, and claims the title of Iron DM for 2012!! Congratulations!

Well done to Melchior, too, who put together a strong final entry, which caused a match far closer than the final score would indicate. And well done to each and every other participant, in each of the other rounds. And finally, thank you to the judges who watched over each match in each round, who provided feedback and critique on each entry, and who had to make the hard decisions to move each round along, to whittle our many challengers down to our new reigning Iron DM!