[Story] Round 4; the Grand Finale: moozuba vs Rolzup

[hvg3akaek]

Round 4; the Grand Finale: moozuba vs Rolzup

Originally Posted by Chairman Haga

We started the competition with a massive cast, more than ever before - which meant only one thing: there would be far more blood to shed to reach this point. Yes, moozuba has cut his cheerful way through a bloody battlefield of contestants, arriving now, here, one step away, one contestant between him and the Iron DM Crown. (Or...is it a belt?)

But what an opponent it is that waits before him this day! Striped with the blood of his vanquished foes - the latest of which was last year’s Iron DM himself, Ion2Atom, Rolzup stands tall. No matter what happens now, he has stepped up his game from last year, and now looks on that prized sceptre...or wreath...with bold intentions.

Of course, there can be only one Iron DM each year, and now is the time for that decisive battle to decide which of these fine athletes will be allowed to bear the object of power!

For as has happened many times before, you will now face off against each other. Only by using the following ingredients, and crafting an encounter or adventure to truly rival all others may you claim the heavy burden of the title of Iron DM 2015!!

The main judges for this round are:

• Everyone!!!

The ingredients for this round are:

• a Narcoleptic Dragon!!
• a Kobold Pirate!!
• a Hall of Mirrors!!
• an Enchanted Paintbrush!!
• Forbidden Things!!
• and Mind Games!!

You can also use any (or none) of the following bonus ingredients:

• a Bloody Baker!!
• a Walled Garden!!
• an Iron Coin!!
• and: tie your encounter/adventure into the advertisement you wrote in Round Zero, as a conclusion to the storyline!

Let the Dungeon Mastering....BEGIN!!

Rules You are to write an encounter, or a general short-adventure arc, using the four items / concepts above. All rules found here are to be followed. The entry is to be no longer than 3,000 words, which includes *everything* you put into the post. Judges are instructed to stop reading at that time, or to deduct points if you go over. The use of a spell check and word count is highly recommended. You have 7 days from the time this post is made. It is not expected that you use all this time - the extra time has been given to ensure that, no matter what your timezone, your schedule, your sleep habits, your work or student life, or emergencies that could crop up, you should have ample time to complete your adventure. Posting when you are done, and not waiting until the end, is also recommended. You should post a simple post in this thread when you first read it, to let the judges know have seen it, and that you are on board. You should post your entry into this thread within the generous timeframe, and ensure it is secreted (to the above judges) and spoilerbuttoned. Feel free to also PM your judges to let them know you have posted, if you wish. If your post is not made within the 7 days, you will be automatically disqualified. If you have issues, be sure to PM or hvg3akaek at gmail dot comemail hvg3akaek *before* your round is closed. Once posted, do not edit your entry. The use of the "preview" function is thus also highly recommended.

[Rolzup]

A Narcoleptic Dragon? Rolzups mouths silently. He shrugs. At least it's not a Mariachi Band, he tells himself, shuddering a little.

"I am ready," he declares, stepping forward, "As well as willing! Able? I suppose we shall see about that one." Turning, Rolzup bows to Moozuba. "I am without the aid of my monkey butler," he says mournfully, "The advantage, I fear, is yours."

[moozuba]

The cheerful challenger stepped into the arena, head held high, clad in nothing but bermuda shorts, swim goggles, and duck-themed arm floaties. Raising a neon pink pool noodle overhead, he ran headlong toward the center of the arena and cried, "Cannonball!" before diving into the air and landing with a rough, pelvis-cracking thud. Groaning, he looked up at Rolzup from his prone position. "This... isn't Wally Walrus's Wide World of Water, is it?"

[Rolzup]

 

THOSE WHO SHAPE
A D&D5e Adventure for 16th Level Characters

"Have you never wondered how one town can cast so many shadows?"

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A Brief Note This adventure is designed for a party of six to eight characters. For smaller groups, the number and power of foes should be adjusted accordingly.

Introduction A year has passed since the attempted Rise of the Underfolk, and Sparrowfell is now at war with itself. Everard Arbonne, having revealed himself as a dreadful Power in his own right, has found allies: The Queen Thrice-Cursed, the Thornéd Lord, the Heavy-Handed God and the Dog That Ate the Moon, just to name a few. Sparrowfell has rallied its own champions: The King Clad All In Copper, the Incurious Man, the Uncast Shadow, the Speaker of False Truths...and perhaps the PCs, now renowned heroes in their own right. They may not be enough. Everard has become an Ouroboros, metaphysically consuming his alternate selves and adding their power to his own, and is planning a feast beyond measure. Unless the party can stop him.

Those Who Shape There are places where Worlds are made. Beings that shape them, give birth to them. Violating the most fundamental laws of Sparrowfell, Everard has somehow found his way to three such places. He has insinuated agents into each Shaper’s realm, to twist and influence their Worlds. The realities now coming into being are warped, broken things that Everard can consume entirely. Meddling with the Shapers is forbidden, and Sparrowfell itself cries out against it. But Everard’s actions have already gravely wounded the town, and threaten to do far worse. If the party is already battling Everard, or has an established relationship with one of the Powers mentioned above, they may simply be asked for their aid. If not, Sparrowfell itself will speak to them. Not openly, but through signs, portents and unlikely coincidences. They will hear words whispered through closed doors and down chimneys, find scraps of parchment blowing in the wind or curiously informative graffiti, meet strange old men who offer prophecies in iambic pentameter. The party will not be forced to act. But the dire nature of the situation will be made clear to them. UNLESS... It is entirely possible that the party has, for some reason, made common cause with Everard. He will betray them as soon as it becomes convenient, but in the meantime he will use them to defend his agents against the attacks of his foes. (Said agents will have orders to kill the PCs when they have been sufficiently distracted/wounded by these assaults, naturally.)

The Oblique Streets During the matter of The King Clad All In Copper, the party learned to use the "Oblique Streets", moving through Doors that lead to alternate Sparrowfells. in short, the proper Door may be found with a DC15 check, the nature of which is up to the players and DM. Skills, spells, rituals, or blind chance may be employed, but the more creative the idea, the better. The party will need to walk the Oblique Streets again to find the Shapers, but in new and unique ways that require special artifacts. These will be provided to the party, or will fall into their hands, as appropriate. The Shapers may be visited in any order, but the DM is encouraged to make his own Sparrowfells, and take the party through two or three of them each time the party travels.

The Artist Unseeing The Artist Unseeing is a painter of worlds, beautiful and intricate creations daubed onto the canvas of spacetime. He is less an entity than a force of nature; the Artist will paint, and there is no force in existence that can prevent him from doing so. But what he paints can be changed by those who know how. The Artist makes his home in the Gossamer Gallery, where the Sparrowfells that he has painted into being hang upon every wall. The Doors that lead to the Gallery cannot merely be found. They must each be painted in the proper place, using... The Consummate Paintbrush Strangely beautiful in its simplicity, it has an ivory handle, and fine bristles made from the hair of an unknown beast. With this brush, using his own blood as pigment, an artist can paint Doors. The painter must open a vein, and will suffer 1d3 damage for each square foot covered; the surface of an average door is twenty-one square feet. If none of the PCs possess any artistic skill, a painter will be provided for them -- John Dogfoot, a sickly fellow prone to swooning when endangered. The amount of blood required to paint a door will leave him on the verge of death each time, but the allure of using the Paintbrush is so great that he will do so without complaint. The final Door painted will open upon a long hallway, walls covered with painted depictions of Sparrowfells. Other corridors, similarly adorned, intersect this one at random intervals, making up the whole of the Gallery. Wandering about will eventually lead to the Artist Unseeing: a small man, body twisted and gnarled, with piecing blue eyes and a broad smile. The Artist does not speak, nor does he blink -- a DC25 Perception check will reveal that his facial features have been painted on over blank and seamless skin. The Artist will not acknowledge the presence of others in any way, and attempts to injure or impede him in his work will be useless against his strange and inexorable strength. It is unlikely that the party will discover these curious facts at first, for the Artist is not alone. There are four creatures, their enormous eyes fixed upon him, squatting around his easel. These are Ultroloths (MM314), using their power of Suggestion to twist the Artist’s work. Their guardian leans insouciantly against a wall: Sir Bastible, a Death Knight (MM47), delighted to have something to kill. The Artist’s most recent work hangs upon these walls, and PCs must roll 1d8 each turn to determine which painting that they glimpse. Unless they make a DC15 Wisdom save, they will suffer the following condition for one turn: 1 The Endless Abyss -- Stunned. 2 An Awful Beauty -- Blinded. 3 The Final Sign -- Petrified. 4 The Death of the Sun -- Frightened. 5 The Grip of Time -- Restrained. 6 The Dawning of Hope -- Heal 10d6 as a Bonus Action. 7-8 None -- No effect. The party's foes, well used to sights of such horror, are in no way bothered by the paintings. Unable to leave the Gallery without Everard's aid Bastible and the Ultroloths will fight to the death, no matter what occurs, the Artist will not visibly acknowledge any of it. But in the near future each PC will find a valuable treasure, spattered with paint, in an unlikely place.

The Speculatrix The Speculatrix stands twice the height of a man; a perfectly sculpted figure of living white marble, a mirrored globe floating where her head ought to be. She observes possibilities, and in so doing brings them into being. Newborn worlds are sealed behind glass, and made part of her vast mirrored Hall. Passage to this Hall is possible only through mirrors, using.... The Glass Key The user of the Key must open a vein with its razor-sharp bittings. The blood drawn from this wound, when applied to the surface of the correct mirror, will turn that mirror into a Door. This inflicts damage in the same manner as the Consummate Paintbrush, as blood must entirely coat each mirror’s surface. After passing through a few Sparrowfells, the party will step through a mirror into the Speculatrix's Hall of Mirrors, each reflecting a different Sparrowfell. Looking into these mirrors will cause a PC to switch places with his own reflection, causing something about him to change. The DM should exercise his sense of whimsy, or use the table below. The Speculatrix can see anything reflected in any mirror, including the one that acts as her head. As they cast no reflection, she is entirely unaware that Vampires have invaded her Hall, and will greet the arrival of the PCs with unmitigated outrage. Pulling a mirrored sword from the air, she will demand explanations, apologies, and surrender...not necessarily in that order. Everard’s agents consist of six Vampires (MM297), a Vampire Warrior and a Vampire Spellcaster (both MM298). The spellcaster, Lady Maladact, has been using a ritual form of Modify Memory (PHB261) to warp the memories of the Speculatrix. The mirrors thus created are equally warped, and reflect fearfully distorted Sparrowfells. Knowing that the Speculatrix is unable to see them, the Vampires remain silent. They first attempt to Charm the PCs, and then to provoke them into attacking while keeping the Speculatrix between themselves and the PCs. If the PCs can find some way to make them visible to their hostess, or trick the Vampires into speaking, she will become enraged and attack without hesitation. If the Speculatrix can somehow perceive the Vampires (perhaps due to their being covered in paint or flour), she will attack them fiercely. If not, she will support the PCs as best she can, directing spells according to their descriptions. (Treat the Speculatrix as a Planetar (MM17) with Resistance to all forms of damage, and Regeneration 20. If 'killed', she will shatter into shards of glass and stone, reforming twelve hours later. Her spell effects all have a ‘Mirror’ theme; Blade Barrier, for instance, manifests as a cloud of razor-sharp mirrorshards.) If not in combat, and once they are aware of their nature, PCs can avoid the effects of the Hall’s mirrors fairly easily. In battle, however, the PCs must make a DC12 Intelligence save each turn to avoid meeting their own gaze. If they fail this save, they exchange places with their reflection; teleport the PCs adjacent to the wall opposite them, and roll to see what is different about the version that steps forth from the mirror: 1 Eye Color -- No mechanical effect. 2 Dominant Hand -- Disadvantage on attack rolls. 3 Memories -- Disadvantage on Skill/Ability checks. 4 Equipment -- Replace a magic item with a different one. 5 Wounds --Become fully healed (if wounded), or lose ½ HP (if unwounded). 6 Health -- Become Poisoned, or cured if already Poisoned/Diseased. 7 Love -- The PC gains or loses a romantic attachment to an NPC or another PC. 8 Fortune -- Whenever the PC would gain Advantage, he instead becomes Disadvantaged...and vice-versa. Maladact and her consort will flee if it becomes clear that the battle has been lost, leaping into a random mirror. It will take some weeks for them to navigate the Oblique Streets back to Everard. The Speculatrix is not a pleasant hostess. She will curtly thank the PCs for their aid, correct any changes made by the mirrors, and instruct them to remove the Vampires and their equipment from her Hall. Reluctantly, she will also grant the party a boon: They may call upon the Speculatrix's aid by speaking her name into any mirror. She will only answer this call once, and under no circumstances will she enter another Shaper’s domain.

The Dragon That Slumbers Old beyond measure, the Dragon sleeps. Bound in chains forged from stolen wealth, even in his slumber he feels the presence of treasure and is content. The Dragon dreams of marvels, and the Sparrowfells of his creation are among the most wondrous. The existence of the Oblique Waters is little known, and fewer still know the secrets of traveling them. To find the Dragon, the party must do precisely this...but they have been given a token of passage: The Iron Coin This bent and rusty old coin, with a tower on one face and a stylized dragon on the other will, when shown to the proper person, allow the bearer and his companions passage to the Dragon That Slumbers. Additionally, the holder of the coin is rendered entirely immune to the powers and magic of dragons. The party must travel the Oblique Streets until they find a Door that opens onto a dockside tavern...despite there being no large body of water anywhere near Sparrowfell. The tavern is full of sailors, in forms even more disparate then the party has come to expect, but the PCs will know the one that they seek the moment that they lay eyes upon him. A 7th Level Kobold (MM195) Battle-Master Fighter, Captain Kalubat stands a full head taller than the Kobolds around him. There is something about him that commands attention, and he stands out even among this collection of oddities. He will look up as the PCs enter, his eyes drawn unerringly to the holder of the Coin, and offer a dignified nod. No questions will be asked; Kalubat knows the Coin well. He will quietly greet the party, and explain how they will pay for their passage on his ship, The Blind Pig. "Dragon," he tells them, "Must have treasures. Is nature of dragons. But only treasures taken by force." Riches freely given are anathema to the Dragon That Slumbers; their touch irritates him and threatens to wake him from his eternal sleep. The passage must be paid with piracy, and with the party’s aid the Captain is certain to take a very rich prize. Kalubat has no truck with scruples himself, but is familiar with the concept and will accommodate the party’s morality as best he can. He will offer a list of potential targets for their consideration, but none of them will be a prize easily taken. Whatever quarry is chosen, it will fall upon the party to do the bulk of the fighting. The Kobold crew is brave enough and skilled sailors besides, but they are no match for the sort of quarry The Blind Pig will be hunting. (Considerations of word-count prevent going into great detail, but allow me to suggest that a brass-hulled ship, carrying tribute and damned souls to a Prince of Hell, would make a fine target, and one largely devoid of moral ambiguities.) Laden with ill-gotten gains, Capatain Kalubat will take the party to the Dragon. Sailing the Oblique Waters proves deeply unsettling, as the transitions between realities are abrupt and often violent. But after a voyage of several days they will come to the Sparrowfell the party seeks: an island, surrounded by a boundless sea. Around this island is coiled The Dragon that Slumbers, a creature so enormous that at first glance it appears to be a chain of mountains cradling the town. Here Kalubat’s kinfolk, distant descendants of the Dragon, work tirelessly to keep their ancestor asleep. With the treasures provided by pilgrims, they have spent centuries forging new and precious links for the chain that binds the ever-growing Dragon. Everard's agent here is Neheb, a Mummy Lord (MM229) accompanied by a pack of a half-dozen Rakshasa (MM257). They have established a camp next to the Dragon’s head, and Neheb has been using repeated castings of Dream (PHB236), aided by the Rakshasas’ powers of Suggestion, to give the Dragon nightmares of Everard's design. Unless the party can draw Neheb and his guards away from the Dragon's head, they run the risk of waking the monster with the din of battle. The Dragon cannot stay awake for long -- the magics binding him are too strong -- but he will stir long enough to take action. Roll 1d6 each turn of battle, adding 1 to the roll for each turn that has passed since the first. If the result is 5 or higher, the Dragon will awaken on the following turn. Treat the Dragon’s head as an Ancient Red Dragon (MM97), immune to any force directed against it. When he opens his eyes, all within 120’ are subject to his Frightful Presence, and on the next turn the Dragon will either breathe fire or use one of his Lair Actions (MM99). If the former, halve the damage inflicted by the Dragon’s breath; inactivity has dimmed his flames. Having acted, the Dragon will then fall back to sleep and, after a turn of quiescence, begin making rolls to awaken again, following the same progression as before. (Remember that whoever holds the Iron Coin is immune to the Dragon’s powers, including Frightful Presence.) Neheb and the Raksashas cannot leave this Sparrowfell, but they will retreat to the largely empty town if the battle goes against them. Hunting them down will not be easy, but if not dealt with they will surely resume their foul work as soon as the party is gone.

Aftermath The Paintbrush, Key, and Coin will each vanish after the party leaves the corresponding domain. If they must be found again, they will be. Failure If the party fails in any of their missions, the barriers between worlds begins to break down. Sparrowfell becomes increasingly less sane, displaying a cruel and vicious madness. Simultaneously, Everard Arbonne becomes increasingly powerful, devouring his own twisted iterations. The speed at which this occurs depends upon how many of the Shapers remain under Everard’s influence, and what the PCs might do in response. But no matter their actions, time grows short. Literally. Success The loss of the Shapers will cost Everard dearly, diminishing him in the eyes of allies alert for signs of weakness. There can be no better time to strike, and the defenders of Sparrowfell will eagerly follow the party to war. Or... The party may make their own bid for power, taking control of one or more of the Shapers. This could have miraculous results, or catastrophic, depending on the party’s goals and personalities. It is, in any case, guaranteed to be interesting. Clearly, Sparrowfell would not look kindly on such a coup. And the party already knows just how dangerous that can be....

---

INGREDIENTS
A Narcoleptic Dragon: The Dragon That Slumbers, who can awaken only for the briefest of moments.

A Kobold Pirate: Captain Kalubat, master of the Blind Pig, is both Kobold and Pirate

A Hall of Mirrors: The home and fortress of the Speculatrix.

An Enchanted Paintbrush: The Consummate Paintbrush, with which the Doors to the Gossamer Gallery are painted.

Forbidden Things: The homes of the Shapers are among the most forbidden of things.

Mind Games: The manipulation of the Shapers and their creations that Everard and his agents are engaged in.

BONUS INGREDIENTS
Bloody Baker: Not used.

Walled Garden: Not used.

Iron Coin: The artifact needed to obtain passage to the Dragon that Slumbers, and provide protection from the Dragon's powers.

Round Zero Connection: Once more, we return to the Oblique Streets of Sparrowfell, and face the schemes of Everard Arbonne.

WORD COUNT: 2970

[moozuba]

 

Heart of Darkness
A Pathfinder Adventure for Five Characters Level 11-12

Introduction On a moonless night, the five remaining members of Company Corvidae huddle around a dying campfire. Distant screams and sporadic flashes of sorcery fill the night. For three long days, Corvidae fought alongside Imperial forces to defend the Citadel against Rebel armies. They bled and died, realizing too late the Queen's duplicity -- the reason the Rebellion had been allowed to amass so great a force, and why the Empire's greatest weapons had been withheld. Until now. Tens of thousands laid siege to the Citadel. The battle was fierce, staining the ground red with the blood of Imperial and Rebel alike. On the third day, at dusk, the Fallen and the Queen herself ventured forth. Fueled by the fires of Hell, they laid waste the battered and weary rebel armies with an onslaught of sorcery. Blight, Wormwood, Jolly Jumper, Abomination, Grinner, and the Raven Queen herself unleashed merciless devastation, intending to shatter the rebellion once and for all. Not far away, on a scorched and barren hillside, the emaciated form of Markus Qavn hung upon an X-shaped cross, steel spikes driven through wrists and heels, his strained and desperate cries a constant reminder of the price paid by traitors. There, upon that cross, Corvidae watched Qavn die a slow and agonizing death as punishment for his betrayal. If only the Queen had permitted him to remain dead. In the first cycle he screamed until Grinner ripped out his throat. In the second, Abomination carved him into pieces and fed him to the dogs. In the current, Wormwood made his pores to weep blood and his flesh to melt, a slow and languishing death which had only just begun. In the sixth and final cycle, the Queen would destroy him, for so it was decreed -- Thrice betrayed, thrice and thrice to suffer and die. Under cover of darkness, with the ever-watchful eye of the Queen and her Generals turned upon the Rebel forces arrayed in the valley below, Corvidae seized the opportunity to consult the traitor whom they had delivered into the Queen's hands.

Retribution Qavn is covered in pustules and open sores, his lips swollen and blood-encrusted. Every breath is an agony. QAVN: "Please. You must help me. Free me from this... this torment. Destroy her. And free us all." Qavn has learned where the Queen's own phylactery and those of the Fallen are hidden -- a secret island protected by monsters, illusions, and other dangers. He tells them two things are required: a coin and a friend. The coin he gives to them, squirreled away in the pocket of his torn and discarded coat. A symbol of the rebellion, it features the image of King Lars (the Queen's father), and is made of Cold Iron, a material diametrically opposed to the Raven Queen's demonic power. The friend they must find themselves, a former Corvidae Sergeant-turned pirate calling himself "Goblin." The coin should purchase their passage and "show the way." Qavn hints that "Goblin" has his own reasons for finding the island. They are urged to make haste. The Queen's head will not be turned forever.

Aboard the Perfectly Normal Human Merchant Ship At port, the PCs find a battered old carrack emblazoned with the name "Perfectly Normal Human Merchant Ship" and flying the flag of Edderan, a prosperous and peaceful nation across the Narrow Sea. The captain of the ship is a Kobold in garish attire who introduces himself as Goblin. Quirk: Goblin speaks of himself in the third person. If asked about his name, he laughs and answers "Who ever heard of the Dread Pirate Kobold?" A former Sergeant in Corvidae, he is reluctant until the PCs produce the coin given to them by Qavn. They set sail immediately, hoping to put some distance between themselves and the Queen. On board, the PCs meet the crew: Tiny (hobgoblin), Dies (goblin), Cheddar (ratfolk), and Chezo (goblin). Skill Challenge: All Aboard! The PCs are encouraged to explore the ship and talk with the crew. Certain activities present challenges of their own. Seasickness (REQUIRED): Rough seas. Daily DC 15 Constitution check to avoid seasickness (Sickened). Chow Time! (REQUIRED): Chef Chezo is trying new recipes in his ambition to learn the art of baking. Chezo is annoyed that the PNHMS didn't have time to take on new supplies in Ravenport. His stocks are flour, salt, rutabagas (he hates rutabagas), three buckets of chum, a few dried rats, and the rotting remains of the former first-mate, Tails. "Meat" Pies are his specialty, but he's been experimenting with pastries. Try his Fishgut Eclairs, Tails Turnover Surprise, and Chumtastic Cannoli! Each dish requires a DC 18 Constitution save to avoid Seasickness. If a PC avoids eating, DC 15 Constitution save to avoid being weakened (per Ray of Enfeeblement). Great Pirate, Poor Sailor (OPTIONAL): Captain Goblin has a crew and vessel custom-built for piracy. If only his navigational skills were as good! DC 18 Intelligence, Knowledge: Geography, or Profession (Sailing) to help get the PNHMS back on course. Goblin rewards helpers with food from his private stock. Brain Ball (OPTIONAL): Tiny's favorite sport involves kicking a severed head into a fishing net. Similar to soccer, a PC may participate solo by making unarmed attack rolls versus DC 18 OR compete against another PC by matching off with unarmed attack rolls versus the opposing player's AC. The first one to 4 points wins one of Chezo's famous fishgut eclairs! Three days after departure, as the PCs face strong headwinds from a storm on the horizon, a ship approaches from behind. The Imperial Crest and the sigil of Jolly Jumper fly from the mast of the ship. As the Imperials approach, Goblin banks astern, swinging alongside and launching grappling hooks before firing a volley that blows a hole in the hull. With the ships tethered and the Imperial vessel taking on water, the crew (and PCs) board Jolly's ship. Name PFSRD Source Tactics Goblin Pirate Captain CR 11 (Kobold, size small, -4 STR) Supports melee with flanking Chezo Pirate Queen (Goblin race) From range with crossbow, Flour (Smoke) and Rot (Stink) Bombs Tiny Storm Pirate   Dies Pirate Officer   Cheddar Pirate Smuggler   Jolly Jumper Castaway + Lycanthrope Template Weather-controlling and support/buff spells from range, then transforms into Werewolf form and enters melee; vulnerable to Cold Iron Imperial Soldier x10 Cursed Pirate See PFSRD Imperial Medic x2 Pirate Priest Ranged support The Cannons (x4) can be fired as Full Round Action (6d6 damage to all targets in a 50 foot cone, DC 18 Reflex save for half). Raid the Hold: 14,000 gold, fresh rations (5 days), fresh bodies (for pie), and 2 magical items of DM's choice.

Forbidden Isle A few days after the battle with Jolly, the PNHMS enters a thick fog near the chain of islands reputed to include the Forbidden Isle, a parcel of land tainted and twisted by wild magic. Unable to navigate through the fog, Goblin is prepared to give up, but the coin-bearer (at DM prompting) notes the pull of the coin toward a location north-northeast of their current position. Following the coin's (magnetic-like) pull, the PNHMS breaks through the fog to the Forbidden Isle, shores of red sand populated by sinister-looking flora. Everything about it seems wrong. Not shifting and disorienting like Mount Shoggoth, but wrong... corrupt... like a shiny red apple, rotten and writhing with worms just beneath the surface. A Sense of Foreboding (akin to Frightful Presence) pervades. DC 21 Fortitude save to avoid being Shaken (a persistent effect that lasts until the next check). Less than 15 results in a temporary Panicked condition (5 minutes). NOTE: The coin-bearer automatically succeeds. The coin draws the PCs toward the center of the island where a vine-covered stone keep is seen situated among the twisted forest. Goblin declares his intent to accompany them, citing his desire to fulfill a promise to a friend. Crumbling Keep The Crumbling Keep is a stonework tower, once a watchtower or lighthouse for a bygone era, held together by the greyish-green creeper vines that cover its walls. Its gates have long since rusted away, any woodwork reduced to dust. In spite of the heavy overgrowth, the narrow path leading to the Keep remains passable and the entrance, a high-vaulted archway, opens into an overgrown courtyard. Gallery of Souls Passing through a curtain of vegetation, the PCs enter a long, dark hall lined with full-length mirrors. Light sources reflect from the mirrors, but dimly, as if muted by magic. Sense of Foreboding check. Looking into the mirrors, the PCs see overlaid on their reflection a ghostly image of another person. Staring for more than a few moments, touching the mirror, or speaking to the ghostly image results in the image opening its eyes and appearing to move toward the PC. Attempting to smash the mirrors results in a liquid mercury effect wherein the implement or body part passes as if through water, leaving the mirror unharmed. The image within the mirror, however, makes a +11 Grapple attempt on the PC that touched the mirror. The Grapple is harmless, meant to spook the PCs and set the tone for what's to come. As the PCs progress, the images within the mirrors become familiar. Qavn is seen in one, screaming and clawing at the interior of his mirrored prison. Blight, Jolly, and the other Fallen are also present. Goblin lingers long before the mirror of one of this group, a young kobold female (Local, History, or Perception 24 to recognize the hooded and terrifying Fallen known as "Wormwood"). If the PCs have not attempted to touch the mirrors, Goblin will attempt to caress the cheek of Wormwood, calling her "Shareen." GOBLIN: "Goblin help you. You help Goblin, yes? Break mirror. Free Shareen. Goblin cannot." A level 5+ spell dealing fire damage or positive energy is sufficient to melt a single mirror. Goblin expresses gratitude, but appears shaken and distant. Diplomacy 21, Shareen was Goblin's wife and a wizard of some renown. She was lured away by the flattery and promises of the Queen. He was not. He left Corvidae shortly after her conversion to the Fallen. 27, they had a daughter named Kleo (a bard whom the PCs met in Sapphire). Other NPCs and members of Corvidae used in the campaign also appear in the hall of mirrors. The Queen is notably absent. Further down the hall, the PCs encounter themselves. Encounter: Mirror Mirror Shortly after the PCs discover their own spectral images, the mirror images crawl out and attack. Apart from distorted appearances, they are exact copies of all five PCs (not Goblin) for both spells and gear, but are vulnerable to Cold Iron and Positive Energy. The images taunt the PCs as they fight, suggesting that to destroy the images is for the PCs to destroy themselves, and that to submit to death is better than to suffer the price of betrayal. One of the images echoes the words of the Queen, "We do not suffer traitors. Soon you will learn that suffering is preferable to disloyalty." After defeating their dopplegangers, the PCs may progress into the next room through a squat archway lined with eroded, unreadable runes. Mural Room The walls of this room are painted with vivid scenes, a different landscape on each wall, a pedestal stands before each with a fifth in the center. Upon each pedestal is an engraving. Location Mural Pedestal North Endless, cloudless desert. Bird South Lush garden protected by a stone wall. Gate East Volcanic mountain surrounded by lava. Bridge West Underwater ruins peopled with merfolk. Fish Center   A bronze paintbrush with a rainbow-colored tip rests atop this pedestal. The paintbrush is enchanted with an effect akin to Marvelous Pigments, usable only on the murals. The solution is for the PCs to paint the symbol into the mural. Even a crude approximation causes the mural to change, reflecting the addition. The murals, when activated, are portals to elaborate Extradimensional Spaces (ala Bag of Holding or Rope Trick). South portal, next page. North, page 78. East, page 91. West, page 105. South Portal: Garden of Thorns An overgrown and rotting garden, thick with the scent of decay. A putrid, black flora drips from the trees (akin to Spanish Moss) while thorns and creeping vines dominate the ground. Ahead, a pale, engorged wyrm -- a dragon of immense size -- is coiled sinuously around a high, stone wall. The dragon's pustulant body blocks access to the gate. The dragon slumbers, but is easily woken... and just as easily returns to its rest. Initiating combat prompts the dragon to attack (as Adult Forest Dragon [Imperial] in PFSRD). Otherwise, he seems indifferent to the presence of the PCs. While asleep, the dragon suffers -6 Perception to detecting movement or conversation. The PCs should make Stealth checks (opposed by Roklaf's Perception) for movement and speech. Any non-stealthed activity wakes the beast. Upon waking, the dragon sniffs the air and speaks in a low, drowsy voice, shifting and slithering to bring himself face-to-face with the PCs. His eyes are crimson, his teeth needles, breath an open grave, voice the lazy rumble of a distant waterfall. ROKLAF: "You are not the dark lady. How come you here? And what business have you?" The dragon freely offers his name, Roklaf, but offers no other information without prompting. After the PCs answer his initial question, Roklaf makes a non-committal grunt and settles back to sleep. Each time the PCs wake Roklaf (by non-aggressive means) he will speak with them for the duration of ONE question. Even if they rattle off a series of questions, he will answer the first and then return to his slumber. Attempts to scale the wall or fly over it reveal that it reaches to the top of the extradimensional space. It is also protected against transmutation. Roklaf Knowledge Table Topic Information Roklaf Guardian of the Forbidden Heart for nearly a century.   Trapped within the Queen's Garden.   Home is the sprawling forests of the Southern Expanse.   Cannot allow passage unless the password is provided.   OR unless they vow to bring the Queen's Heart to him, that he might devour it.   The password is her father's face. Queen Ambitious, but filled with regret.   For her sister and her father.   Loved her father best of all. His death was unintentional. Preserved her sister out of fear. Walled Enclosure Heavily protected, a place of darkness, harboring the Forbidden Heart.   Mortals enter at their peril.   One entrance, guarded by Roklaf. Forbidden Heart The Queen's phylactery which holds her soul, her essence. To touch it is to be infected by it.   More than its destruction, she fears its consumption. Whoever eats the heart gains her power.   Queen has considered reclaiming her heart, removing the promise of immortality, but restoring humanity. The PCs may gain access by killing Roklaf, promising to retrieve the heart for him, or presenting the coin bearing the image of the Queen's father. Heart of Darkness Within the walled garden stands an ornate mirror with an image of the queen, pale of skin and dark of hair, holding a black heart in her pristine, manicured hands. Upon a stone pedestal before the mirror sits a black and shriveled heart, still pulsing. Sense of Foreboding check. If a PC touches the heart, s/he is immediately subject to Dominating Gaze (see below). As the PCs approach (allow 1-2 rounds for investigation/preparation), the Queen's Image emerges from the mirror. QUEEN, seductive and coaxing: "My darlings, have we come to this? I would have given you whatever you wished. I would have given you everything." If no one touched the heart, the Queen initiates combat with Dominating Gaze. DURING COMBAT, the Queen taunts the PCs that they lust after her power (if not after her) and that they may destroy her phylactery, but they will never kill her, not now that she has forged a pact with the Morning Star. Heart or no heart, she is eternal. She is all-powerful. She is a goddess, terrible and wonderful to behold... and they will all die a thousand torturous deaths for their betrayal. Sense Motive 36 to recognize the lie and the fear that motivates it. DC 30 if Roklaf revealed information concerning the Forbidden Heart. Name PFSRD Source Tactics Raven Queen's Mirror Image Demon Lord Beluiri, The Temptress Dominating Gaze, then attacks; vulnerable to Cold Iron Tainted Thorns x3 Assassin Vine Grab and constrict those nearest the Queen's Image; when cut, the vines bleed red; if killed, regrows after 1 round Queen's Heart Defenses as Queen's Image Cannot attack; damage dealt transfers to Queen's Image With the Queen defeated, the PCs must decide what to do with the Heart... DESTROY: An earthquake shakes the island, the mirrors in the hall shatter, and the ground begins to break apart. Elsewhere... the Queen is powerless, but very much alive and plotting her revenge. CONSUME (Roklaf): An earthquake shakes the island, the dragon laughs as its skin morphs from pale white to pestilential black. If the PCs stand and fight, Roklaf is Mature Adult Forest Dragon + Psychic Vampire Template, making liberal use of Possession. If they flee, they hear chaotic laughter following them every step of the way. CONSUME (PCs): An earthquake shakes the island, the PC(s) who devoured the heart gain +4 character levels, alignment changed to Evil, and given control over the souls still trapped in the mirrors. REDEEM: The images trapped within the mirrors fade. As they depart the shores, the island breaks apart and sinks into the sea. The Queen's shriveled heart grows plump, red, hearty, and hale. Upon presenting it to the Queen, they are heralded as heroes.

Conclusion The PCs have become either saviors or tyrants. Here ends the search for Qavn and the tale of the Dark Heart, but as a new page turns in the annals of history, it is clear that the stories of the Black Empire and Company Corvidae are only beginning.

Ingredients A Narcoleptic Dragon: Roklaf, Guardian of the Forbidden Heart A Kobold Pirate: Goblin, Kobold Pirate-Smuggler and Captain of the Perfectly Normal Human Merchant Ship A Hall of Mirrors: A prison for the souls of the Raven Queen's thralls An Enchanted Paintbrush: Key to the Mural Room Forbidden Things: The Queen's secret island, the Heart (accessing, touching, or eating it) Mind Games: Throughout -- notably, being forced to fight mirror images and the Queen's claim to have ascended to godhood, cheekily as the "Brain Ball" mini-game Bonus -- A Bloody Baker: Chezo the would-be Pastry Chef (Outplay cameo!) Bonus -- A Walled Garden: Hiding place for the Queen's Heart Bonus -- An Iron Coin: Token demonstrating broken fealty with the Empire and showing the way to the Forbidden Isle Bonus -- Tie your encounter/adventure into the advertisement you wrote in Round Zero, as a conclusion to the storyline: Direct tie to the Search for Qavn and subsequent adventures, with a full conclusion to the major plotline.

[EngrInAZ]

 

Judge EngrInAZ looks down at the offerings before him, two seemingly tasty treats but one’s eyes can be deceiving. It takes more than just a look to determine if these contestants have what it takes to be the Iron DM.

EngrInAZ pulls the first concoction over, looking over the constancy and texture. "Interesting, solid and well formed." He lets the gentle aroma from the creation waft up through his nostrils, allowing the scent to prep his palette, "Yes, the Kobold Pirate, Hall of Mirrors, Enchanted Paintbrush, and Mind Games are all nice and powerful.". Cutting into the offering, EngrInAZ picks through the submission, looking closely at the ingredients incorporation. He then takes a bite, allowing the morsel to linger as his taste buds explore the mixture. He shakes his head, "Could have used some more of the Narcoleptic Dragon and the Forbidden Things is almost non existant, but still is nice. Oh, and the addition of the Iron Coin and Round Zero Advertisement just take this to another level."

EngrInAZ takes a few more moments to savor the dish, "All in all, nice consistency and fairly balanced. Good usage of most of the ingredients, though a little light in a couple of areas. All in all, this is an excellent submission, worthy of Iron DM."

The judge pulls over the second entry, examining the dish closely. "Good substance to this one, something to bite into." He takes a deep breath, pulling in the aroma from the offering, "Well, Kobold Pirate, Hall of Mirrors, Enchanted Paintbrush, and Forbidden Things come through strongly, nicely done." He shakes his head, "But, both Mind Games and Narcoleptic Dragon are a little light. Now you have done a nice job of including the Walled Garden, the Iron Coin and the Round Zero entry, but you misused that Bloody Baker, need to look at that again."

He pulls apart the dish, digging through the creation before taking a bite, "As I got from the aroma, Kobold Pirate, Hall of Mirrors, Enchanted Paintbrush, and Forbidden Things are integral and well done." He continues to chew, "The Mind Games could use a little more punch and the Narcoleptic Dragon could use some attention." EngrInAZ stops, " Overall it is a nice dish, well thought out and put together. Interesting and flavorful." He nodded, "The bonus additions really put this over the top though, well done and also worthy of Iron DM."

Judge EngrInAZ pushes the two plates away, "This was a difficult one, you both did an admirable job with the main ingredients, really hard to tell the difference. But, one of you went the extra mile with their bonus ingredients, pushing their entry to the top. So, my judgment is for moozuba and his tying of all the ingredients to his story makes him the Iron DM!"

 

I am using a 1-10(Ingredients) 1-5(Game Play & Writing) point scale with 1-3 Bonus Points for Bonus Ingredients.

Those Who Shape – Rolzup

Category	Score	Comments
Ingredients
Narcoleptic Dragon	5	You’ve got a dragon that can’t stay awake and he is one of the Shapers. But not sure how his narcolepsy is important to the story, except it means he doesn’t fight very much.
Kobold Pirate	8	I like the use of pirates to get stolen treasure for the dragon and your kobold pirate as the captain and crew is a nice idea. Not sure about how important the pirates being kobolds is to the story though.
Hall of Mirrors	10	I like the hall of mirrors that is the home of the Speculatrix. You have a variety of effects caused by the mirrors that makes for interesting interactions.
Enchanted Paintbrush	9	I like the use of the enchanted paintbrush for creating a door to the Gossamer Gallery.
Forbidden Things	3	You state that the Shaper’s homes are forbidden, but there is no information about how they are forbidden or what the consequences are.
Mind Games	10	I like the use of mind control to influence the Shapers to do the deeds of Everard and the need for the PCs to stop it is important to the story.
Bonus Ingredients
Bloody Baker	0	N/A
Walled Garden	0	N/A
Iron Coin	3	The coin is important to get to the dragon and provides protection
Round Zero Tie-in	3	Back to the Sparrowfell!
Game Play
Story Concept	5	I like the concept and it would be an interesting adventure
Technical Details	5	There are a lot of details about the mechanics for the game.
Writing
Grammar/Spelling	5	No issues.
Cohesion/Structure	5	The adventure is well laid out and easy to retrieve information.
Total Points	71/80	89%

Heart of Darkness – moozuba

Category	Score	Comments
Ingredients
Narcoleptic Dragon	5	The dragon can’t stay awake and the PCs must defeat it to reach the heart. There is a lot of information to be gained from the dragon as well. Not sure why he can’t stay awake or why it is important though.
Kobold Pirate	8	I like the kobold pirate captain used to take the PCs to the island. Some interesting interactions involved with the encounter. Love the fact that he flies the flag of Edderan . Not sure how important to the story it is that he is a kobold.
Hall of Mirrors	9	Nice use of the hall of mirrors both to set a mood and as an encounter device. I like the rescue of Goblin’s wife as part of the encounter.
Enchanted Paintbrush	10	I love the use of the paintbrush, to paint an object onto a mural and it be set into motion and become a doorway. Not sure how you could come up with such an original and creative idea
Forbidden Things	8	The island is difficult to get to and the heart is forbidden, with significant consequences.
Mind Games	6	The mirrors do play with the PCs minds, but it feels like something is missing.
Bonus Ingredients
Bloody Baker	0	You have a goblin that is a want-to-be baker, but I don’t see the bloody part.
Walled Garden	3	The walled garden is where the heart is.
Iron Coin	3	Need the iron coin to get to the heart.
Round Zero Tie-in	3	It is clearly tied to the earlier adventure ad.
Game Play
Story Concept	5	Cool adventure that would be a lot of fun to play.
Technical Details	5	A lot of technical information.
Writing
Grammar/Spelling	5	No issues.
Cohesion/Structure	5	The adventure flows nicely and it is easy to find information.
Total Points	75/80	94%

[ekidnu]

 

 

Ingredient Free Length: 2958 words (according to OpenOffice). Acceptable. Succinct summary of ingredients: excellent. Writing: Good. A few slips, but nothing too major. DM Perspective: You paint a rich and compelling adventure, dabbing the canvas with such intriguing impressions that I suspect you possess an Enchanted Paintbrush capable of tempting even an Incurious Man. But the devil is in the details, and you shield yourself from the former by eschewing the latter. Where does John Dogfoot come from? What are his stats (HP seems particularly relevant)? (Actually, I feel Dogfoot is a misstep. He is completely unnecessary (So what if the PCs have no artistic skill? Then it's even more fun to have a PC paint doors! And really, how hard is it to paint a door?) and the words wasted on him could be used elsewhere to greater effect. For a while I thought that Dogfoot must be included just as a token use of some ingredient.) How do the PCs figure out where to paint the doors? Where do they find the correct mirrors? These have the potential to be very interesting challenges, but that potential is unrealized. Finding the Paintbrush and Iron Coin, learning about the shapers, the joy of piracy on the high seas, etc, are all left to the intrepid DM to flesh out. I understand the constraints of the word count, but this adventure is not kind to the DM's workload. And though your submission is entertaining to read, some details are not obvious, requiring a second (or third) reading and more work for the DM. The layout could certainly be made more friendly for a working DM, though that would probably adversely affect the flow of your story. I really like the tables of random effects for the paintings and mirrors. Tables are good. My knowledge of D&D5e is limited, so I pass no judgment on whether or not your challenges/enemies are appropriate for six to eight 16th level PCs. (Though, wow, that's a lot of high-powered PCs. Must be some nasty challenges!) -4 points Player Perspective: On the other side of the table, with the overworked DM having done all the dirty work … this adventure looks like a lot of fun. You add something to spice up all three battles (and these chaotic elements suit Sparrowfell well), and of course you liberally flavor the broth in which they lie. The encounter in the Hall of Mirrors is easily my favorite, with the teleportation effects transporting the battle to another level. However, there is a small plothole: Yes, vampires have no reflections. But couldn't the Speculatrix just see them directly? And if not—if she can only see reflections—then how is covering them in paint or flour going to have any effect? I also wonder whether or not a 7th level kobold pirate couldn't be intimidated by eight 16th level PCs. Some players might expect to get a free ride. 8/10

Required Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon: Not really narcoleptic if kobolds have to work so hard to keep it asleep--it's just sleeping then. (Or maybe pining for the fjords. But I digress.) But … vivid dreams are a classic symptom of narcolepsy, and key to the story. And making a dreaming dragon as big as a chain of mountains is a fantastic touch. Reminds me of a story I read once. 7/10 Kobold Pirate: A clear, unambiguous usage. No real reason Kalubat needs to be a kobold pirate though—a human merchant would work. But … you rescue this ingredient by blending it in to support the dragon: kobold kinfolk makes sense, even if it is a bit of a stretch, and a good-old fashioned pirate raid to appease the dragon's greed is a nice touch. 5/10 Hall of Mirrors: Wow. Cool teleportation effects. Reflections that are slightly different. Vampires cast no reflections, so the fact that they're mirrors is important. A great setting for a great encounter. 10/10 Enchanted Paintbrush: You draw this in an expected way, though using blood as the medium is an unexpectedly fine stroke. Important for two reasons, with a nice link to the Artist Unseeing. 8/10 Forbidden Things: I had to read your ingredient summary to figure out how this was used, so this one is the weakest link. The Shapers are extremely powerful and important, but … forbidden? Who's doing the forbidding? Whoever it is, they're not doing a very good job 'cuz Everard is already meddling with three of them. 1/10 Mind Games: Clever, repeated uses of Dream, Modify Memory, and Suggestion to manipulate the Shapers. Central to the plot, and a recurring flavor in this meal. 9/10

Bonus Ingredients Bloody Baker: Not used. However, kudos for recognizing that it can be better to NOT cram in extra ingredients in a weak manner. +1 bonus point for exercising judicious restraint. Walled Garden: Not used. And you already got your bonus point. Iron Coin: There is no real reason this has to be a coin. That said, a special coin does tie nicely with the pirate theme, and I like its powers against dragons. Even then, no reason for it to be iron. A tough ingredient to blend properly. +2 Round Zero Entry: Sparrowfell, and all of its strange atmosphere—check. Return of the Oblique Streets—check (and hooray). Conclusion to the storyline—not so much. I'm a little disappointed that the final showdown with Everard is not included—but what I really miss are the tantalizing NPCs named, and then abandoned, in the introduction. Guess I'll have to wait for the sequel. +3

 

Ingredient Free Length: 2987 words (according to OpenOffice). Acceptable. Writing: Nicely done. Your introduction does a marvelous job of setting the scene. DM Perspective: No wonder you're a Hall of Fame DM. The layout and organization of this adventure are phenomenal. There is plenty of detailed info (npc/enemy tactics/roles, succinct tables (I do love a good table), check DCs, flavor text for npcs, etc)—you make it easy for a DM to pick up and run this adventure. And all of this is rendered with the skill and finesse of an accomplished writer. Really, really well done. As someone with no DM experience, the encounter difficulty levels seem okay to me. A few quibbles: Surely 12th level PCs would have their own food for the ship? Or a Ring of Sustenance, or similar effect? And I get the joke about the north, east, and west portals but … you're still leaving the DM hanging here. Are the PCs supposed to guess that an appropriate level 5+ spell will destroy a mirror, or does Goblin tell them, or do they need to make a knowledge check? +2 Player Perspective: Did I mention that I love your Introduction? Consider me hooked. The dark drama promised by your opening stanza tempts me like wafting aromas before a highly anticipated meal. Unfortunately, the Perfectly Normal Human Merchant Ship jars me out of my blissful state. It is not bad or poorly written—the PNHMS would be a lovely addition to a more light-hearted adventure—but the silly humor does not blend well with the initial appetizer. I like cotton candy, but not paired with filet mignon. PNHMS aside, I would definitely want to play this adventure, although I prefer more spice on my battles (some extra twist, be it environmental effect, neutral party, etc). 7/10

Required Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon: I wasn't keen on Roklaf at first. It seems strange that he would honestly answer any question posed by the PCs without some sort of check, and his indifference seems odd. But I guess if I was trapped/forced to guard someone's phylactery for nearly a century, I'd be blasé too. And upon a second, closer reading, I find that I quite like the info-gathering challenge: no checks, just patience and the challenge to ask exactly the right questions. Oh yeah: suitability. Dragon as the final guard is very classic. Narcolepsy—not really necessary, but it blends with his indifference, and explains the one-question-at-a-time aspect of the challenge. 7/10 Kobold Pirate: You already know this, given your choice of name. There is no reason Goblin has to be a kobold, or a pirate: a perfectly normal human merchant would work just as well to pilot the ship. 2/10 Hall of Mirrors: A standard use with PCs fighting themselves. Good job infusing a spooky atmosphere; including the images of everyone but the Queen is a nice touch. 7/10 Enchanted Paintbrush: Did you just accidentally spill this ingredient on the plate and call it garnish? A token use, with no real need for the paintbrush at all: you could have stickers on each pedestal that the PCs need to paste onto the murals. Or a poem that they need to recite. Or … you get the idea. 2/10 Forbidden Things: This is a tough ingredient to make essential. Many things are secret, or taboo, or shall-not-be-named, but to be truly forbidden in a necessary way? Difficult, especially when your judge nitpicks like me. However, placing the phylactery within a walled garden is a good move, as it evokes all the classic references to forbidden apples, romance, etc within such a garden. 5/10 Mind Games: Not particularly convincing for me. Brain ball involves a head, not a mind. (So that's why you included it.) The trash talking mirrors and the deceitful queen certainly add flavor, but no real consequence with their words—your dish would not really suffer with their removal. 3/10

Bonus Ingredients Bloody Baker: Chezo isn't particularly bloody, and there's no reason he has to be a baker instead of a more general chef. Actually, there's no reason for him to be there at all. And, as mentioned, his addition detracts from my enjoyment of the adventure. This ingredient should have been left in the pantry. +0 Walled Garden: It's there. Not particularly essential, but it is atmospheric, and does provide a nice sauce for the Forbidden Things. +2 Iron Coin: Now this is a good addition. The cold iron makes sense to oppose the queen, monarchs do put their faces on coins, and a coin is a small enough item to hide one's allegiance to the former king. +4 Round Zero Entry: Tie to Qavn? Check. Continuation with the Queen? Check. Conclusion to plotline? Check. Unfortunately, your previous success encourages this reader to be more demanding: I really liked the Queen's sister last time, and would have liked to see her featured more prominently here. +4

Two worthy contestants with delicious meals worthy of a finale. But only one can win.

 

Neither contestant wins—it's a tie! As such, I hereby condemn both of you to compete in the 3rd place match to break this tie! Your torment will never end …

Damn it, you can add. Okay, so the final tally is: Rolzup 50 vs Moozuba 45. So Rolzup gets my vote for the win.

But I really did want a tie.Never.

[Raylorne]

 

I'm sorry to say it, but this was a rather easy decision to make...

Story: Moozuba hit this one out of the park. The story was accessible and entertaining. I would gladly play that module however I suspect my knowledge of the ending would taint the experience. Should I ever find myself lobotomised yet still capable of coherent writing, sign me up. Rolzup what hurt you here imo is the same thing I penalized ArgyleSock for in Round One. You provided a fantastic framework for some really exciting stories to take place, but ultimately failed to provide me with an actual story. Where Moozuba gave me a very logical a to b to c progression you left a lot up to the DM. In this case you are the DM, and I expected a story laid out for me.

Mechanics: Another clear victory for Moozuba in this category too. I feel I could Although with the cost of colour ink... print that entry, and run the module without any difficulty. Everything I need is laid out, and even bold for my convenience. Rolzup, I was not a fan of the DC 15 check up to the DM. Like I said before, you're the DM.

Ingredients: Both parties used all required ingredients. Moozuba did use two more bonus ingredients than Rolzup.

Verdict: My vote goes to Moozuba. Outstanding job.

The dishevelled judge peers over at the verdicts of his fellow judges after casting his vote. "We're supposed to be scoring them too?" he hisses. The man curses before surreptitiously throwing some dice behind his voting screen. After some furious scribbling the man holds up a sign that reads Arbitrarily chosen number to support my decision

[Melchior]

 

 

Rolzup's 'Those Who Shape' Story: We are brought back to Sparrowfell, sadly for the last time (a fact which is more significant than it appears, but we'll get to that momentarily). Everything I said last round still applies; I really enjoy the setting you've created here, and you have a particular talent for evocative writing that does as excellent job in setting the tone and atmosphere. I really like the topsy-turvy, rather tongue-in-cheek world that is Sparrowfell, and part of me hopes that you plan to use it for something, whether that be a future game of your own or some other creative enterprise. The adventure itself looks like it would be a lot of fun, each of those encounters sticks out as both entertaining and challenging in ways beyond simple hack and slash combat, which can be hard to come by. Unfortunately you are hurt somewhat by your presentation. This does not really feel to me like a proper adventure, more like a group of encounters that exist almost completely independent from each other threaded together by only the loosest of narratives. This is made especially evident by the fact that you go into almost no details what-so-ever about moving the party from one encounter to the next, and in many cases these powerful items needed to access the demi-realms are simply given to the players without ceremony. Sparrowfell itself just seems says "Here's your macguffin guys, go get 'em." It's a little jarring. I get that the city is supposed to be quasi-sentient or something but the execution feels very sloppy. Similar to the previous round, I feel that the ending is somewhat anti-climatic. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that it lacks a climax entirely, as the adventure consists of nothing more than three encounters that are all given equal weight. You set up the whole thing under the canopy of stopping Everard, but the man himself does not appear at all, serving only as shadowy figure lurking in the background exposition where you tease about how he's made himself an Ouroborous. Why wasn't stopping that the adventure? Chasing a mad wizard across multiple Sparrowfells while trying to prevent him from gaining too much power from eating his own alternate sounds awesome, and actually has some dramatic weight to it. Considering that this is the final round of Iron DM, I was expecting something that actually felt like a finale, not the penultimate fetch quest. In short, while the pieces themselves were as strong as ever, the adventure as a whole feels much less than the sum of its parts. 5/10 Technical: Considering that the adventure is little more than a trio of largely independent mini-quests that can be done in any order that the party or DM pleases, it's difficult for my to gauge this. On the one hand, the scenario/encounters themselves are quite well done and would be very easy to implement. All the required information is there, and the encounters are very interesting and sound like they would be fun to implement. The problem is that everything else in the adventure is woefully lacking. You use the same Oblique Streets mechanic as your previous adventure but leave it entirely up to the DM to actually flesh out. You even do the same thing with one of the main quests, leaving the PC's piracy excursion completely up to the DM. If I wanted to run this myself I would need to do a lot of extra work to make it useable. I can understand word count restraints, but I feel that you got way too ambitious here and tired to create something too broad and just ended up with something unwieldy, because giving a couple excellently fleshed out encounters and then saying 'you can figure out the rest' is not really presenting a complete and self-contained adventure. As usual, your writing is fantastic, well up to the quality I would expect from an Iron DM finalist, I just wish you had tightened your focus a little better. 5/10 Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon: The Dragon That Slumbers cannot stay awake but for a few moments at a time. Pretty much what I was expecting from this ingredient, but you work it in well enough. And I like the idea of treating the dragon more as an environmental hazard than as a enemy. 6/10 Kobold Pirate: Captain Kalubat is a kobold and a pirate; his being a kobold is explained by the connection to the dragon and you even attempted to justify why he is a pirate by explaining that the party needs stolen goods to offer the dragon. His role in the adventure is very minor though, and made even more so by the fact that you intentionally gloss over the piracy escapades. I'll consider this one a wash. 5/10 Hall of Mirrors: The Speculatrix' home makes for quite the hazard, even if I'm still not entirely certain how the mirrors work exactly. Still, it certainly makes for a memorable encounter. 7/10 Enchanted Paintbrush: I really like the Consummate Paintbrush as an item, especially how it uses the blood of the painter to paint, though with the levels involved the damage from the blood loss is so piddling and so easily healed that it might as well not even be a factor. Con damage would have been a more significant sacrifice. I also wish the paintbrush could make more than just doors to the Gossamer Gallery. 8/10 Forbidden Things: The homes of the shaper are supposedly forbidden, but that really doesn't come across. They seem to be no harder to reach than anywhere else in Sparrowfell and the party receives no punishment for doing so. In fact, they are rewarded handsomely in most cases. 3/10 Mind Games: I like how the antagonists all use clever applications of mind manipulations to get the shapers to do what they want. I might have liked to see this get turned against the party (the vampires and their charms sort of counts, but not quite as severe as I'd like), but it works. 7/10 Bonus Bloody Baker: Not used. +/-0 Walled Garden: Not used. +/-0 Iron Coin: The fact that it's a coin is completely arbitrary. The artefact could be literally anything else and still serve the exact same purpose it does here. -1 Previous Entries Connection: Once again we return to Sparrowfell. I would have liked to see more direct consequences from the previous entries, perhaps the King Clad All in Copper could have offer some kind of direct assistance. As it is they are connected, but only in the loosest terms of the broader, overarching plot and environment. +1 Total: 46/80

 

Moozuba's 'Heart of Darkness' Story: Following on the heels of your round 3 entry, the party must track down the source of the queen's power in order to put a stop to her once and for all. A solid premise, and it holds up rather nicely. I love the bit on the pirate ship - excuse me, 'Perfectly Normal Human Merchant Ship'. I don't care that it's sillier than the rest of your adventures. In fact, since it follows directly after the rather grim events of your third round entry and the emotionally charged events afterwards implied by your introduction blurb, a chance for the group to catch their breaths is a nice reprieve. Wallowing all day, every day in grim and gritty despair isn't good for anybody. Sometimes you need a little tongue-in cheek pirate frivolity, even if it involves severed-head kickball and miscellaneous-meat pies. The forbidden island looks like it would be pretty fun (even if it's incomplete - more on that in the technical section). I really like the hall of mirrors and the potential for roleplay that it provides, and dealing with Roklaf is an interesting challenge. It's not difficult in the traditional sense, but relies more on the PCs being smart enough to ask the right questions and patient enough to deal with the dragon constantly falling asleep on them, and patience is not something that PCs are famous for having in abundance. I like the possibility for multiple outcomes even if I feel that some of them are rather vague. It's also a little disappointing that no matter what the party does, the queen is still in power and ultimately it's unlikely that the party is done with her. I would have liked to see that reach a more definitive conclusion considering this is meant to be the finale to the arc. How exactly is the party suppose to redeem the heart? And if they do... what? The queen is just forgiven for everything that's happened up to that point? It feels like there should be a lot more to it than that, but you don't really address it. 8/10 Technical: Events flow nicely and logically and I think that this would be an easy enough adventure to run. You provide lots of information where needed: encounters are clearly laid out, all the necessary information is given (or you list where to find it, which I wouldn't have required but is nice to see regardless) and things are challenging enough without being overwhelming - though having to fight an entire party of mirror duplicates is always an extremely dangerous prospect, if the DM is smart that fight is probably harder than the final boss. I did not notice any typos or grammar issues, and your formatting was well done, complete with organized tables and everything. I'll admit I laughed at the joke about looking up the other rooms further in the book. It was funny, but I'm still going to ding you for it, because you're just drawing extra attention to the fact that your final dungeon is only a quarter complete. You would have been better off not including the mural/doors at all, or at least re purposing what you have here for the paintbrush ingredient into something that doesn't make it look like you're trying to submit a half-completed adventure. 5/10 Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon: Roklaf is a narcoleptic dragon, I will grant you that. I just don't really see how that's significant. It would have been better if the PCs had needed to actually do something more involved to get him to wake up and answer questions, because that would have made his narcolepsy feel like an actual obstacle rather than a minor annoyance. It is an admittedly funny quirk, it just has no real bearing on anything. 4/10 Kobold Pirate: Don't think I didn't see what you did here. Goblin the kobold pirate is funny, and the escapades on the pirate ship, while kind of random and out-there, amused me so much that I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's only a kobold because the ingredient says so. 6/10 Hall of Mirrors: Pretty much exactly what I was expecting out of this ingredient, but you handled it well. I've always liked magic mirrors that create evil copies of the heroes. I've always thought it makes for some interesting scenes and role-play. 7/10 Enchanted Paintbrush: The painted murals could easily just be replaced with doors and not significantly impact your adventure though, so I don't know how important I would say it is, really. It is an interesting idea though. 5/10 Forbidden Things: The island itself is forbidden but that's the sort of generic use I would have expected. The heart is a much more interesting use, and I especially like the consequences for the PCs themselves taking the especially forbidden route and consuming the heart (or feeding it to the dragon, though anybody who does that deserves to be eaten, because I mean - come on!) 7/10 Mind Games: Several uses, from the ominous island to the Queen's domination. My favorite is probably the mirror images coming out and taunting the party though. 7/10 Bonus Bloody Baker: I will have you know that Chezo is an excellent cook, and is able to make anything taste delicious no matter what ingredients he is given! Save against nausea indeed.... I am an unabashed not reallynarcissist, and so will give you points just for surprising me by giving my Outplay character a cameo. +3 Walled Garden: You use it, but only as the setting of the final battle. There is little significance to it's existence. I get the impression that you were trying for a black-thorn briarpatch kind of thing to symbolize the Queen's true nature, especially with the assassin vines, but you don't say this (or even describe the garden enough that I could infer it) so I can't really give you points for it. +/-0 Iron Coin: I like the touch of having the coin be an older one, with the image of the queen's father to represent the rebellion. It being a coin is completely arbitrary though. +1 Previous Entries Connection: Ties in directly to your previous adventures and serves as a fitting conclusion. +2 Total: 55/80

 

And in my opinion, this year that one is Moozuba!

[RonarsCorruption]

 

How I’m judging you Runability For this category, I'm interested in how easy it would be for a GM to run. I don’t expect you to give me full statblocks for every encounter, but I expect it to be clear what is in the encounter. A lot of this boils down to clarity and consistency in your presentation. Playability For this category, I'll be looking at the entry from a player's perspective. Would I like to play in this adventure? Is there anything that I don't think I'd enjoy? Do I think I'd be hooked? Basically, what makes the player care about this adventure, and what do they get out of it? And of course, does it sound like it would be fun to play? Ingredients Each ingredient will be judged as its own individual category. In general I'll consider if it was important to the adventure, if it was creatively used, and if was it recognizable as it was supposed to be.

 

judgement Runability 5 + You put a lot of pawns and tools on the board in the hands of the GM, good work. - You give the GM a little less direction at the start of the adventure than they need. A bit more intro would have gone a long way. - For instance, how do the PCs get any of the keys? You just kinda say this special magic thing is needed, and then move on. You could at least say how they get ahold of these critical items. +Outside of the intro (and the closing, see ‘your round 0 entry’), your story is well structured. You present the DM everything they need to run the game handily. Playability 6 - I loved the paintbrush (see below), but the way the glass key essentially functions exactly like it kills the entertainment value of both. + I love that you force creativity upon the PCs with the Oblique Streets, forcing them to make a moderately difficult check with probably more and more obscure means and checks. Yet, since the party only has to make, like, twenty different checks throughout the campaign it’s not too heavy handed, either. + Each of the realms really feels distinct and the NPCs involved feel powerful, just like a high level adventure should. Special +1 + By creating an eerie setting where literally anything is possible, you quite brilliantly set up the use of any ingredient possible. I’m really impressed by your foresight (or your luck, if it was unintentional). Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon 4 - A dragon in eternal slumber is close to a dragon that accidentally falls asleep, but not quite right. Kobold Pirate 2 - - While I was amused by the “considerations of wordcount” bit, you could have just used your recommendation as the paragraph and saved 15 words and two points. - You state that no body of water is nearby, but then the party is sailing? You could at least have explained how the PCs got onto the boat. = Kalubat is a kobold pirate, though not particularly well developed, but with all the excitement going on around him, he doesn’t stand out very much. Hall of Mirrors 7 + The setting you provide, and the Speculatrix herself, are pretty cool. + But what really sets this up is that you’ve made the enemies here vampires, who cast no reflection, which plays really nicely with the eeriness of the hall of mirrors. Enchanted Paintbrush 7 + A creepy, yet interesting magic item. + I enjoyed the odd NPC you offer the party to make use of the item if they can’t. Forbidden Things 5 = I accept your interpretation of this ingredient, but I’m not particularly wowed by it. Mind Games 6 + Okay, that’s an interesting interpretation of mind games. It’s not really strong, but I accept its use. BONUS Iron Coin +2 + It’s present as a key and a magic item the party will be fighting over forever… without being too overpowered. + The power of the coin is really interesting, yet balanced. It doesn’t make the target invincible, but it gives him a really specific and powerful advantage. BONUS Climactic Finish to Your Round 0 Entry -1 + I hadn’t read any other of your entries before now, but I just went through them, and they’re pretty great. - - You were so close! I was expecting this big climax at the end with Erevard, but nope – nothing. You ran a bit short on wordcount, clearly, but I wish you found a way to integrate this final boss battle. overall: 44 For all that I really enjoyed reading your adventure, I wish I could have given you a higher score, but the weakness of the opening and closing despite the strength and fun of your presentation cut into your score a lot. It sorta feels like you had this great adventure, and then realized it was over wordcount, so you trimmed a bit too much of it down that it became noticeable.

 

judgement Runability 5 + Everything is presented in a logical flowing order. - That said, everything also feels a little unfinished. Unpolished and not up to the same standard as previous work. The intro especially. - You should never point people to the PFSRD. Not that it’s not a good place to go find things, but you should reference the original source. And, also it’s better to refer to the PRD and not the PFSRD. But again, that’s an ‘original source’ thing. - While I like the idea of your NPC table on the pirate ship, the execution is lacking. It would have been really nice to see something like “fighter 4, as Cursed Pirate” instead of just “see PFSRD”. = references to arbitrary pages for the murals is weird, but I do get you’re trying to imply a larger scope than what you have written. + Though it’s a far cry from the one you used in the last adventure, the knowledge check table is quite nice. Playability 3 - Having read the previous adventures, I kinda get that the PCs are being jerked around by the queen. But in this adventure, considered alone, there’s no real explanation of the motives of the key players – and thus the PCs are left halfway motiveless. All they have is “your employer is being a dick to you, and lots of other people besides”. - Cannons are a thing that already have rules, so it’s weird and confusing to include different rules than normal for how they work. - the PCs are told to pay for passage with the coin, but then you say the coin bearer notices something… that should be Goblin, right? + Lots of very exciting endings. Ingredients Narcoleptic Dragon 3 - Referring to it’s action by proper name without first explaining even to the GM who the name belongs to. - it’s more of a slumbering dragon than a narcoleptic one. A dragon who will always immediately go back to sleep is not a dragon who accidentally falls asleep in the middle of things. Kobold Pirate 5 + He’s a fun character. I especially love the name of the ship. = Also, just acknowledgement that I get the reference of the goblin named “Dies”. Last name, horribly, right? - I don’t see any actual reason he’s a kobold other than the ingredient says he was. Hall of Mirrors 6 + Suitably creepy + I love how you include pre-existing NPCs into the hall of mirrors, especially the villians. - It would have been nice if you explained what happened if a mirror is destroyed, because this place is apparently a giant phylactery or something Enchanted Paintbrush 5 = It’s in the adventure, but only for a few seconds as the key to a puzzle. Forbidden Things 5 = I guess they’re forbidden, technically, but none of the things you list really feel forbidden. Mind Games 6 + pretty much every NPC in this campaign is feeding the PCs a different story. Most of them the direct opposite of the truth. BONUS Bloody Baker +0 = I accept your use of this ingredient, and I love the cameo, but I’m not really impressed by it. BONUS Walled Garden +1 + It’s in the adventure and important. BONUS Iron Coin +2 + It’s in the adventure and important. + making the coin cold-iron because it opposes demons is brilliant. BONUS Climactic Finish to Your Round 0 Entry +0 + It’s tied in, that’s for sure. Though I’d really have liked to have a clearer summary of the Plot Until Now. - I‘m hesitant to call this the end of the campaign, because the most likely endings call for another adventure to follow this one. overall: 41 I mostly enjoyed this adventure, but it really felt unpolished. I’ve seen you do better, so it’s unfortunate and feels a little slapped together at the last second.

 

Both contestants produced for us exciting continuations of their adventure paths that they’ve written over the course of the competition. I was hoping that they would be a little more satisfying as a conclusion. But neither quite hit that mark.
Ultimately, it was really close. One adventure was more polished and clever, but it felt a little more like the strung-together mishmash of ingredients that Iron DM is. The other adventure had a slightly stronger core, but it wasn’t presented as cleanly or as nicely.
So, while both adventures are worthy of praise and could be turned into really stellar work with a little more time, I only have one vote, and it goes to…
Rolzup!

[Squeak]

 

 

Rolzup - I struggled to understand what was going on at first, until I got about halfway through it. It felt a bit disconnected throughout the adventure - it seemed like there were several things just strung together here. I get what you were trying to do, but it came off as a bit shallow.

As a DM, I feel that there would be a lot of work I'd need to do get this up and running -- but that is probably something than any game of that high level would have.

I thought you did a good job with all of the ingredients and a fantastic job with the paintbrush and hall of mirrors. I liked the way you used the iron coin as well, much like Charon. Definitely had no problem with NOT using all of the secret ingredients.

 

Moozooba Was a pretty straight forward adventures with a bit of humor intertwined, which I did enjoy. It would have been an easy adventure to run as well, which is a huge plus.

Where I though you fell short was the ingredients... The kobold pirate was cute and the hall of mirrors was pretty good.. The others, while they were there -- seemed a bit forced. The one I was the most impressed with was the bonus ingredient of the iron coin, which is arguably the easiest of them to use.

 

I was a bit disappointed with both of these adventures and I have seen both of you do better work. In the end I was left with what I thought was a slightly below average adventure with good use of ingredients and a good adventure with slightly below average use of ingredients.

 

MOOZOOBA.

It was a REALLY close call -- and I changed my mind about 5 times before coming to my conclusion... But in the end I felt I had to go with the better adventure. Rolzup had a couple outstanding use of ingredients, but Moo's adventure was better.

I have a feeling the other judges are going to have their decisions mixed much like mine -- so congrats to both the winner and the runner up!

[arin12]

 

Initial Impressions Whew... this is going to take some doing. Seems like every round I need to reinvent my judging techniques - which to be fair, I did say I was going to wind up working with "ever changing standards that you could only guess at". We've still got the big four: Hook, Plot, Pacing, Encounters (at this point there's no real reason to look at grammar - both contenders are impeccable and probably wouldn't have made it here if they weren't). We've also got the six mandatory ingredients and four optionals. I think I'll do each segment for both, side by side. The result will either be an interesting read or a big mess - here's hoping for the former. And now, let the judgments begin!

 

Both competitors chose to weave their stories together through Round 0, 2, 3 and 4. This made for two epic sagas and no judgment of the adventure hooks would be fair without study of the entire saga, taken as a whole.

Rolzup For Rolzup, it begins with a seemingly hyperintelligent infant girl, providing the name of a special place to a group of people seeking answers: the town of Sparrowfell. The mother, not at all a happy camper, allows the PCs audience with her infant - we know not what they were looking for before that. The baby points them to Sparrowfell and implies that her information will, at some point in the future, carry a price to be paid. Arriving in Sparrowfell, the PCs get their first taste of the town's weirdness while trying to retrieve an heirloom for an old man. Talking cats, people with no shadow, the treacherous old man himself, and the box that holds the Worm that Gnaws on the World. Later, they learn that there is an Undertown ruled by a King who has been impersonated, and Oblique Streets with mystic doors lead to Alternate Realities within Sparrowfell. Rescuing the true King, there is now a debt owed (to the King) and a debt owing (to the baby). Now, in the finale, the villian from the previous chapter has discovered a way to absorb his alternate doppelgangers in a bit for ultimate power, and the PCs are either his lackeys betrayed or called upon by the opposition (or, interestingly, the town itself) as the only agents who can stop him.

Moozuba Moozuba's journey begins with a whirlwind centered around one man: Markus Qavn. In the midst of civil war, Qavn, once a Commander in the Queen's army, seemed now to be a third faction unto himself, and absolutely everyone wanted him: some out of principle, some out of vengeance, and most out of the sheer amount of money being offered. The PCs, a mercenary band known as Company Corvidae, have been hired by the Queen to retrieve him alive and bring him to her. Exploring the city, they learn that even the demon Beelzebub seeks Qavn, and after a decidedly unsuccessful negotiation to root him out together, learns that a Rebellion leader has claimed the capture and is planning a public execution. Heading to the place where this was to be so, they instead find a massacre with a sole blind child as survivor, and the hunt concludes as it is revealed he is a Lich, trying to drop the world into madness to stop an unnamed plan that the Queen has for it. The PCs defeat him and his body - his phylactery is apparently already claimed by the Queen, so he will be returning to life there. In the finale, the Queen's horrible plan is revealed - a ploy to raise the fallen on both sides of the civil war in order to create a massive undead army with which she can rule the world. Only by conspiring with their former target can they learn the Queen's weakness and ultimately save the world from her nefarious schemes.

The Judgment   Rolzup Moozuba   (+3) Lots of creative alternatives for recruitment: the town itself, the agents standing against Everard, or simply self-preservation after betrayal by Everard himself. Really flavors all the possible ways the PCs could have gotten to this point in earlier adventures, even if this was being used as a standalone replacement for someone else's established campaign. (+2) Betrayal by the employer and turning to their own target for answers: a wonderful, topsy-turvy way to turn everything that built up here on it's head.   Both adventures rely pretty heavily on past events. Neither negative or positive, really, but worth noting since tying them in was a bonus and not necessarily a mandate - I really HAD to deep dive the old modules to feel comfortable in either of these worlds, and that's a bit of a problem. Rolzup's module does adapt a little bit more readily to different alternatives, but his plotline is designed in such a way that that's a requirement because it's all a bit too complicated to rely on any kind of streamline; conversely, Moozuba's module is less flexible, but it's more robust and requires a lot less study to feel comfortable jumping in. The results cancel each other out, so no points are added or subtracted.   (+2) Ultimate PC Motivation: Save themselves and a place they've become invested in. The personal investment is going to keep PCs motivated. (+2) Ultimate PC Motivation: Save the World. PCs live in the world, so no one's turning that town easily. Tie In Bonus Points (+4) I awarded one bonus point for each tie in 0->2, 2->3 and 3->4. I awarded one additional bonus point for each element directly used in this module from the old ones; namely, the Oblique Streets and Everard Arbonne. Although bonus points generally can't carry a negative, I did take one of the awarded points back because in all three rounds, I was waiting for the baby to resurface and claim it's debt, and I was bummed out that that didn't happen. Sure, one could argue that this isn't the finale, his Aftermath section makes it clear there's one more place to take this, but this being the last round of Iron DM, perhaps that was a mistake in and of itself - this should be the finale, and I would have loved to see that particular loose end called back. (+5) I awarded one bonus point for each tie in 0->2, 2->3 and 3->4. I awarded one additional bonus point for each element directly used in this module from the old ones; namely, the Markus Qavn and the Raven Queen. This also had a tie-in that I'd like to have seen resurface, namely the significance of the blind boy survivor that the PCs are hired at the end of the Round 3 module to fetch, but I didn't deduct for it because A) it was introduced in Round 3, not 0, so it doesn't have that "overall arc" feel to it, making it more acceptable to be in a middle undeclared adventure, and B) it's absence is undershadowed by the Crowning Moment of Awesome inherent in making me feel sorry for a multiply-murdered Lich hanging on a cross. Automatic resurrection not looking so fun anymore, is it? Totals: +9 +9 Advantage: None

---

 

Aaaaand I'm not gonna make it. It's Friday afternoon, this is due in just a few hours... yeah, Iron DM is rough all around, but especially rough on Thanksgiving week.

So let's just summarize my thoughts:

Rolzup Rolzup's plot is simple enough on it's face - the PCs must gather three items from various alternate realities to keep the walls between dimensions from breaking down, Buffy style. They can go in any order, and each little sub plot consists of a wacky environment and an encounter with the opposing force. The mirror shaper makes for a good roleplay opportunity, as does the kobold pirate crew, but other than that, it's mostly tests of mettle that determine the party's success. Should they succeed in all three endeavors, they have the option of launching a final assault against the Big Bad (in a future module) or attempting to seize some power for themselves. The pacing is entirely DM-controlled, since everything is so segmented. This is not necessarily a good thing, as plenty of DMs need guidance to rein them in or else they try to do really elaborate reviews scenarios that spread out far longer than they had time for. The encounters are very meaty, and the negotiation/"cold war" start with the vampires is particularly thrill-worthy. I really really love that idea, might have to steal it for my own game someday.

Moozuba Moozuba's plot is also simple, but in a far more linear fashion - tipped off by their tormented former archnemesis, the party learns of a way to stop the evil Queen before her shenanigans go off the deep end. The lich points them to an old pirate friend, who escorts them (over time, with lots of rich roleplay opportunity in there) to the Forbidden Isle. Along the way, an enemy ship must be dealt with. Once on the Isle, the PCs enter an old, crumbling keep where they face ghostly mirrors and their own doppelgangers. Finally, using a mural, they travel to an old garden where they discuss the queen and the means to beat her. A final encounter with the Queen's mirror image stands between them and her dark heart, which they can consume, destroy or redeem, leading to various results. The pacing has an edge here, because there's just as much room for DM control (the pirate trip could last multiple sessions in and of itself, if the DM so chose) but at the same time, there's still enough basic structure to keep neophyte and ADHD-suffering DMs on track. The encounters are appropriate to a Level 11 module, gives the adventure a slightly less epic feel but then, that's by choice, given the level range chosen.

About the Ingredients And, of course, nothing makes Iron DM like the ingredients that the contenders have to work with - if there's one lesson I took away from the experience of judging this, it's how important and amazing the ingredient component is and how skillful one must be to work with it on the fly. Ingredient Edge Why Narcoleptic Dragon Moozuba Both dragons were amazingly done - the lore of the Shapers is so rich, that when I started typing this, I was giving the point to Rolzup. But I said it in my intro - "treat a drama like a comedy and a comedy like a tramp" - and Moozuba delivered, giving a charming comedic take to Roklaf's slumbers even in the midst of peril. Kobold Pirate Nobody Both way too good to choose from. On the one hand, I love Moozuba's quirkiness (a Kobold named Goblin?) and the rich roleplay opportunities on the ship. On the other, the Blind Pig is epic and the moral quandries they can bring out in a good-aligned party are rich and juicy. Hall of Mirrors Rolzup Pretty close to being another tie, but Rolzup's use of the mirrors was more integral to his plot, plus the use of vampires as a subversion of mirrors is such a beautifully juicy piece of the puzzle. Paintbrush Rolzup They both essentially used it the same way - as an elaborate key. Seemed like a pretty weak spot in both modules, but Rolzup did base the Painter scenario around it, and that was clever. Forbidden Things Moozuba The Shaper lairs being forbidden to mortals didn't really add anything to the plot, and almost went without saying. Conversely, the Queen's secret Island and the Heart both definitely carry more of a "line that should never be crossed by anybody" feel, similar to a certain popular villian's Horcruxes. Mind Games Nobody Both spectacular uses of these, in fact the themes of both modules could easily be summed up with these two words. Bonus Ingredients Moozuba Since there was a "tie" up above, I looked at the bonus stuff. Not only did Moozuba use all of them, but they properly felt "bonusy" - none were integral to the plot and one (the Outplay cameo) was a nice little easter egg. Rolzup's sole bonus ingredient was just as important to the plot as a major one, which I wouldn't have noticed on it's own, but in contrast with its competitor takes away a bit of the "specialness" of it.

 

In the end, two things made my final decision: first and foremost was that structure, that I felt was really important to have just a little bit of. Perhaps it's no coincidence that we mimic a cooking show, Iron Chef - each module is akin to a recipe, for other DMs to follow. A recipe really needs to spell out the steps to create a proper dish - sure, a bad cook is going to mess it up no matter how well spelled-out the steps are, but the less instruction they get, the more chance for things to go wrong and the more ways in which it can go wrong. By the same token, if I gave these two modules to a really, really bad DM, in the end I think Moozuba's module would come out the "least wrong", whereas Rolzup's would be completely all over the place.

Second, the ingredient comparison, which was close but did favor Moozuba a bit.

Funny... six weeks ago, I sat in this very forum and declared that I did not think Moozuba would be wearing the Iron DM badge this year. Despite that, he advanced, and found ample opportunity to make me eat those words.

I now find myself wondering whether those words would go better with mayonnaise or steak sauce. It is with humility and reverence that I, Gibs, speaking in Order of the Stick style, vote Moozuba.

[hvg3akaek]

Originally Posted by Chairman Haga

The fights have been bloody, the food likewise, and all have been amazed, time and again, over the great works these competitors have put into their matches! But, as always - there can be only one.

Numerous fine DMs have fallen so far, not because they were poor, or had no skill. For each of them was something unique, each offered tasty morsels for us to devour. But only by refining them, by forcing them against each other can we decide who is the best, who stands out above the others, and earns that coveted title of Iron DM.

And this year, after numerous battles and countless bruises and scrapes, with a victory of 5-2, Moozuba has claimed ownership of the Iron DM title!! Congratulations!

Well done to Rolzup, too, and to each and every other challenger who participated this year! Thank you also to all the judges that gave of their own time to allow this competition to work! And you (yes, you!) - thank you for reading, for cheering on your favourites, for giving the contestants your support and affection! Everyone, continue to write and run fine adventures - or play and encourage your DMs on! And don't forget to come back next year, ready to take on Moozuba, for your own chance of becoming the Iron DM!!