[Story] Round 4; The Grand Finale: Inem vs Khelbiros

[hvg3akaek]

Round 4; The Grand Finale: Inem vs Khelbiros

Originally Posted by Chairman Haga

Looking back over the bloodied and scarred battlefields, it is a wonder that anyone survived this long. Limbs, weapons, pens, and paper lie scattered, discarded wherever they fell. Two teams have been entirely wiped out from the competition - the sly, dark power of those of the night, who flitter around the shadows, and drink the blood of their victims; and those who also enjoy to feast on others, the dead, or undead, shamblers of unlife, who fight against their constant and eternal hunger as much as against those who are to slow. All signs of these necrotic creatures has been removed from the stadium, and now only two challengers remain.

Inem has been here before, after defeating foe after foe last year. But this year, once departing from the monstrous starting field, and taking out the largest of the lycans, he found his battlefield empty. Has this pause in his battles weakened him, or caused him to lose momentum? Or was the last round merely a breather, a moment to gather his second wind, and the current Iron DM is now ready to defend his title with all his might?

For that is what he will need! The Pouncing Challenger has moved ahead with leaps and bounds! Breaking from the pack, Khelbiros proved her skill by taking down first a shambler, and then a tentacled horror from the deep. Now having moved further than she managed in last year's competition, with three impressively high scores under her belt, the Pouncing Challenger is finally in the position to fight for the title of Iron DM!

Can the reigning champion be dethroned? Or will this be the first time that the title will be able to be defended?

Of course, there can be only one Iron DM each year, and now is the time for that decisive battle to decide which of these fine athletes will be emerge as something truly wonderful to behold! For as has happened many times before, you will now face off against each other. Only by using the following ingredients, and crafting an encounter or adventure to truly rival all others may you claim the heavy burden of the title of Iron DM 2017!

The main judges for this round are:

• Everyone!!!

The ingredients for this round are:

• a Vampiric Hydra
• the Emperor's Second Cousin!
• a Broken Home!
• a Stringless Fiddle!
• Civil Unrest!
• and an Overindulgence of Food!

The bonus ingredients for this round are:

• an Unusual Healing Potion!
• a Jolly Old Elf!
• a Wager Among Gods!
• and a Stuffed Animal!

Let the Dungeon Mastering....BEGIN!!

Rules You are to write an adventure using the six items / concepts above. You can also use any of the bonus ingredients you wish to. All rules found here are to be followed. The guidelines for the Judges' scoring can be found here. The entry is to be no longer than 3,000 words, which includes *everything* you put into the post. Judges are instructed to stop reading at that time, or to deduct points if you go over. The use of a spell check and word counter is highly recommended. Please make a simple post in this thread when you first read it, to let the judges know have seen it, and that you are on board. It doesn't have to be anything more than "read!", or something like that! Do not edit this post after making it; when it comes time to post your entry, do that in a second, separate post. You have 7 days from the time this post is made to complete and submit your entry (in a new post; don't edit your first post!). It is not expected that you use all this time - the extra time has been given to ensure that, no matter what your timezone, your schedule, your sleep habits, your work or student life, or emergencies that could crop up, you should have ample time to complete your entry. Posting when you are done, and not waiting until the end, is also recommended, and rewarded. You should post your entry into this thread within the generous timeframe, and ensure it is secreted (to the above judges) and spoilerbuttoned. Feel free to also PM your judges to let them know you have posted, if you wish. (DO NOT PM them your entry - just let them know your entry is submitted). If your post is not made within the 7 days, you will be automatically disqualified. If you have issues, be sure to PM or hvg3akaek at gmail dot comemail hvg3akaek *before* your round is closed. Once posted, do not edit your entry. The use of the "preview" function is thus also highly recommended.

[Khelbiros]

Khelbiros leaps into the arena, her fur matted with the blood, ichor and corn flakes of her fallen foes. Dust puffs up where she lands, and her huge claws scar the earth.

Finally, she scents the presence of her final foe. Her fangs gleam in the white moonlight and she lets out a terrifying roar of challenge at her adversary. Then, she turns and vanishes into the shadows, readying for her final pouncing attack...

[Inem]

And so the time has come. To do battle once more. One final time. Maybe then he will finally have peace. But this opponent...

Of course, no opponent in this arena can ever be underestimated. But this one has definitely proven she belongs here with her previous battles, both this year and last. Inem has seen her work. Somehow, he had a feeling he would eventually have to match up with this challenger. It is only fitting it is for the crown. After all, they each won an badge last year. So here they stand fighting each other for another.

In the blink of an eye his opponent is gone, vanished into the shadows in preparation of the attempt to bring him down. Well, he won't go easy. He won't go without fighting and clawing to the last breath. And he has learned a trick or two since he last stood here almost 13 months ago, refining his skills. Determined to make this contest close, no matter which way it plays out, Inem examines the ingredients. Gears turn in his head as he gets to work. "Well then, let's do this..."

[Khelbiros]

 

The Curse of Skagos

“You and the land are one.”
Percival in Excalibur (1981)

Background As the Dragon Empire expanded its reach, it invaded the island of Skagos, home to a culture of wood elves who called themselves the ‘Sea Singers’. After years of war and skirmishes, the Dragon Empire claimed the southern half of the island and the port city of Spearhead. The last Bard King of united Skagos was executed by the Emperor’s general; the sign of his rule, a fiddle, was stripped of its strings and displayed as a sign that the Sea Singers had been defeated by the Empire. The northern part of the island remained fiercely independent, while the elves in the southern part of the island became acculturated in the Dragon Empire’s ways. However, there was still a secret underground resistance amongst the Sea Singers to oust the Dragon Empire from Skagos and re-unify the island under the rule of an Elven Bard king. Centuries later, Skagos remains a backwater in the Dragon Empire, often a place where disgraced nobles are sent to be “out of the way.” The current Governor on the island is the half-elf Childeric IV, the Emperor’s second cousin, who was sent to govern Skagos after he embarrassed his family with a drunken rampage in Axis. He is desperate to return home. However, Skagos is suffering misfortune and Childeric is concerned that if he cannot save his settlement, then he might be abandoned by his own family forever. Currently, the supply of crops and vegetables in the south part of the island has dried up. There is not enough food imported to keep the southern population from starving, and the Resistance is using the famine to turn people against the Dragon Empire. By contrast, there is an over-abundance of food in the northern part of the island, and the curse causes the population there to glut themselves on the ripe fruits and vegetables. The island’s curse is due to Vormyr, the island’s mythical serpent protector, and a servant of the Bard Kings. Vormyr is linked to the island’s health and fertility. Vormyr was wounded when the Dragon Empire took control of Skagos, and fell into a terrible slumber. Now it is waking again after so long, but has fallen into an undead state caused by its terrible wound, and has split into a multi-headed hydra as there is no one true king. Vormyr reflects the imbalance in the island, and has distorted Skagos’s fertility, with the south falling into famine and the north into a glut of crops. Eventually Skagos will fall into the sea if Vormyr is not restored to health. Further, unbeknownst to the inhabitants of Skagos, two minor gods have decided to use the crisis on Skagos as an ideological battleground. Qa, Principle of Order, approves of the Dragon Empire, and the structure that the Imperials have brought to Skagos. Sehwa, Principle of Chaos, supports the freedom represented by the Bard Kings. The two gods have decided to settle their differences with a friendly wager and their manipulations have exacerbated events on Skagos. As part of the wager, each chose the other’s champion. Qa is forced to work through the mad, wandering bard Shearwing, while Sehwa attempts to sow chaos through Childeric, the ineffectual governor. Qa will win the wager if Skagos remains under Imperial control, and Sehwa will win if it is returned to the elves. The two gods have manipulated events so that a group of neutral patsies, the PCs, will act as the ‘random’ elements to determine the outcome of events and settle the wager. Childeric IV, unable to solve the problems for himself, wrote frantically to the Emperor for assistance. Unfortunately, his disgrace is still fresh in the mind of his relatives. Rather than sending in dragon-riders or imperial champions, the Emperor’s bureaucracy has deigned to hire some lowly adventurers to respond to Childeric’s plea for assistance and to resolve the situation on Skagos. The Elf Queen has also heard of the plight of the island elves, and sends an emissary to the Emperor’s champions.

1. A Tale of Two Emissaries The PCs will be approached by an emissary of the Emperor. The emissary outlines the troubled situation on the island of Skagos, and requests that the PCs travel to the island, report to Childeric IV and render him assistance at quelling the unrest on the island. While Childeric IV is not loved, the island is still part of the Dragon Empire, and the PCs will be rewarded by the Emperor’s faction. The PCs will also be approached by an emissary of the Elf Queen, who will ask that the PCs help the plight of the elves on the island. The Elf Queen’s emissary does not wish to directly overthrow the Empire’s Governor, but would be interested if Skagos could be returned to self-rule, or if the power of the elven population could be increased.

2. The Docks The PCs travel to Skagos on a ship flying the Emperor’s flag. As they dock in the port city of Spearhead, they can see the forbidding, mountainous half of the island rising up, wreathed in mist, while the docks are crowded with angry, starving people. It looks difficult to disembark, but the ship’s captain is most urgent: the PCs must proceed to the Governor’s mansion to speak to Childeric IV. The angry crowd is convinced the ship is full of food supplies, and will attack anyone who says otherwise. A DC 15 Observation Skill Check will show that there are people in the crowd waving flags and banners, showing a serpent circling around the island. This is the traditional flag of Skagos, and is used by the Resistance and those who want self-rule. They will be yelling out “Down with the Empire!” and “Return the Fiddle to its people!” 2.1 Violence The PCs can brutally cut a path through the crowd of starving townsfolk. This will require a DC 15 Skill Check, but the PCs will have a negative reputation with the Resistance. 2.2 Diplomacy The PCs can try to convince the crowd to let them through to the Governor’s mansion, by succeeding at a DC 20 Skill Check. If either of these Skill Checks fail, then the PCs will eventually push their way through the crowd to the Governor’s mansion, but will lose a Recovery due to the effort that will only be restored on their next Full Heal-Up.

3. The Emperor’s Second Cousin When the PCs finally arrive at the Governor’s mansion, they will be greeted by the plump, sallow-faced Childeric IV. He will be disappointed and angry that the Emperor did not send dragon riders, only hired swords, but is realistic enough to work with what he has. Childeric is clutching a stuffed lion under one arm; this beloved childhood toy, “Roary”, helps him manage his stress in these trying times. He will not directly refer to Roary, but continually strokes the lion. Childeric IV explains that he is trying his best here, but there is simply not enough food coming down from the north to feed the south. They have had treaties in place for decades to ensure food supply, and yet all of these have suddenly been broken. Childeric IV has sent troops up north to see why the food supply has stopped, but the troops have not returned, and he cannot spare any more ground forces, as they are required to maintain order in Spearhead. He is not interested in dealing with the Resistance until the food supply is secured. Childeric requests that the PCs travel north and deal with whatever is inhibiting the food supply. The PCs will note the Stringless Fiddle hanging up in the mansion in a glass case. If asked, Childeric will say that it was taken from the last Bard King of Skagos when the Empire conquered the island, and its strings were removed. It remains a symbol of the Empire’s right to govern.

4. The North Heading into the northern part of Skagos will involve travelling through wild and dangerous terrain. The PCs will see overgrown crops, the pungent smell of overripe fruit and choking melon vines. They will see entire families of elves glutted on this food, and sleeping under trees in food-induced slumbers. The elves will be confused and non-responsive when awoken. Abandoned carts are by the side of the road, tangled in vines. Some of the elves will be pale and anaemic, and have large bite marks on their bodies. PCs may assist the elves and start loading carts, but may be affected by the curse if they stay in the area. They must make a DC20 Wisdom-based Skill Check. If they fail, the curse targets them as +10 VS MD, and the target will immediately gorge themselves on food and then be sick due to vomiting, for 3d6 damage. The Resistance will approach the PCs after this encounter; a band of elves and half-elves wearing masks and carrying flags showing a serpent coiled around the island. If the PCs have a negative reputation with the Resistance, they will be attacked. Resistance Fighters (Mixed humanoids, mostly humans, elves and half-elves) Use the stat blocks below for a fight with the Resistance: Half-Orc Tribal Champion x2, 13A, p233 Half-Orc Legionnaires x3, 13A, p233 The Resistance will flee once this fight is over. If the PCs have a neutral reputation, or if the PCs obtain captives during the fight, the Resistance will talk. They will say the island’s problems are due to the Dragon Empire’s rule. The only way to stop the curse is for the true heir to the Bard King, Sirella Stormsea, to regain the Stringless Fiddle and to resume the throne. The mad bard Shearwing will arrive either at this point, or will encounter the PCs alone if they have driven the Resistance away. He is a large, plump elf and will give a merry laugh as he cartwheels into view. Shearwing mimes playing a fiddle, and capers around. “One king, one island, one serpent. A failed governor, two broken halves, and many heads!” Shearwing is referring to Vormyr’s current state us due to the fractured nature of the island’s governance. Shearwing will be confusing and contrary, and speak in riddles regarding the island’s curse. He will offer to guide the people to the source of the island’s curse, but will warn them that “a diamond is forever, and so is a serpent’s tooth!”

5. Vormyr If the PCs accept Shearwing’s offer, he will them take to the clearing where Vormyr is sleeping, surrounded by tangled vegetation and overripe fruit. The five-headed hydra’s skin is pale, and its body is bloated and disjointed. There are a number of blood-drained elves in the area, sleeping next to Vormyr. There is a great wound in the hydra’s side, from which a sickly smelling ichor is leaking. The PCs may have a surprise round to attack before Vormyr wakes up and retaliates. The vampiric elves will also wake, and immediately move to the PCs to drink their blood. If the PCs did not accept Shearwing’s service (or drove him off), they will find Vormyr after sunset, slowly moving amongst the food-bloated elves and sucking their blood with its serpentine heads. The combat will be the same, but there will be no surprise round. Vormyr drinks blood, and will focus its attacks on PCs that are Staggered. Vormyr and Followers • Five-Headed Hydra, 13A, p236 • Vampire Spawn x2, 13A, p249

6. The Curse When Vormyr is defeated, the great hydra will sink into the earth. But Shearwing appears again with a merry laugh, saying: “He cannot die and will be reborn again. Will you remain here to the end of your days, thwarting Vormyr each night?” Shearwing is mad, but is able to give information to the PCs via the hidden influence of Qa, Principle of Order. Shearwing explains that the PCs’ defeat of Vormyr is only temporary, and that Vormyr used to be the guardian serpent of Skagos, who was wounded when the Dragon Empire invaded, and further corrupted when the island was split into its two halves. Shearwing says that the only way to truly defeat Vormyr is for the land to be made one again. A true king must rise. The Stringless Fiddle must be made whole and played near Vormyr. Only its music will cure the dreadful wound that seeps from Vormyr’s side. The Fiddle can only be strung by a sacrifice of self from the person who would chose to play it.

7. The Song of Skagos There are several open options for resolving the Curse of Skagos. 7.1 Pyrrhic Victory The PCs can return to Childeric IV and say that they have killed Vormyr. They will gain their reward and the ship will sail away. However, Shearwing is correct in saying that the hydra will soon return and after the PCs leave, the hydra will again rise from the dead, more powerful than before. 7.2 Ending the Curse To end the curse, the PCs must ensure the island has a true king. The potential candidate must sacrifice part of themselves, string the Fiddle, and play in front of Vormyr so it can be healed. Childeric For supporters of the Emperor, the best choice is to persuade Childeric, the current governor, to unite the two halves of the island and become the next symbolic Bard King. Childeric hates Skagos, and will be reluctant to bind himself to the island forever, but could be persuaded to do so if the PCs explain that this will garner him the respect of his family (Skill Check DC 20). Childeric must string the fiddle with something he loves dearly. He will choose Roary, and string the fiddle with threads taken from the stuffed animal. The Resistance If the PCs contact the Resistance, these freedom fighters will gladly volunteer their leader to be the next Bard King. This is the half-elf Sirella Stormsea. She will cut off her long, golden hair (which will never grow back) and string the Fiddle. Shearwing Shearwing is half-mad, but could also be persuaded to become the next Bard King. He will sacrifice his colourful shirt (and will never wear these garments again), and play the fiddle dangerously and well. If the PCs select Sirella or Shearwing as their champion, they must obtain the Fiddle from Childeric via reason (DC 20 Skill Check) or guile (DC 20 Skill Check). The Alliance Childeric and Sirella could also be persuaded to enter an alliance together to bring the halves of the island together. This could either be a political council set up, or even a marriage. The Ritual Regardless of who it is, the prospective king must play the Fiddle while Vormyr rises again. During this fight, Vormyr will be stronger than ever before. The goal of the PCs in this combat will be to keep Vormyr occupied while the fiddler plays madly away. Their music will rise up and take on the form of a crashing crescendo. As they play, a glowing cup will appear in the air, filled with a golden liquid. They will shout that the liquid must be applied to Vormyr’s wound. A PC must take the cup and fling the liquid on the hydra’s side. At the next fight with Vormyr, the PCs will see that it now has seven heads! Its followers will attempt to swarm the PCs and drag down the Fiddler. Vormyr drinks blood, and will focus its attacks on PCs that are Staggered. Vormyr and Followers • Seven-Headed Hydra, 13A, p236 • Vampire Spawn x1, 13A, p249 • Bloat Zombies x4, 13A, p251. When Vormyr is reduced to zero HP, the golden cup will appear. The vessel can be poured on the maddened hydra’s wound. Immediately, the wound will heal, and Vormyr’s heads will combine into one. Then, the serpent will sink down into the earth to finish healing. The Curse of Skagos has been lifted. Fallout If Childeric sacrificed Roary and played the Fiddle, he will rule the island as Governor in name, but also as its spiritual bard king. However, his erratic nature will mean that his reign will be uncertain and chaotic. The Emperor will reward the PCs with a free, positive Icon roll to all PCs that do not have the Emperor as an Icon, and an extra roll to those PCs that do have the Emperor as an Icon. Further, the god Qa will give the PCs random oils and runes each (13A, p284) with no explanation – a glowing being will show up, give over the treasure, and leave. Qa has won its wager, at the cost of the island’s long-term harmony. If the PCs gave the Fiddle to either Sirella or Shearwing without Childeric’s consent, they will earn the enmity of the Empire and Childeric. The PCs will gain no rewards from the Empire’s faction for this action, but gain one from the Elf Queen. The Elf Queen will reward the PCs with a free, positive Icon roll to all PCs that do not have the Elf Queen as an Icon, and an extra roll to those PCs that do have the Elf Queen as an Icon. The god Sehwa will appear and give the PCs 500 GP without any explanation, as it has won the wage. However, ongoing struggles will continue on for years between the Empire and the Resistance, and many will die. If Sirella and Childeric form an alliance, Skagos will remain part of the Dragon Empire, but the plight of the local elves on the island will improve, and eventually Skagos will be unified by Sirella and Childeric’s descendants (biological or spiritual). The PCs will gain awards from both the Emperor and the Elf Queen factions as above. Both Qa and Sehwa have lost their wager, and will move onto other amusements.

[Inem]

 

The Child Emperor

A Pathfinder Adventure for Four 5th Level Characters

Introduction Centuries ago, the city of Ikeda and its surroundings were terrorized by hosts of undead, until one day Shibato Masao united all the cities. The Masao bloodline seems to have an aptitude for controlling undead, so Shibato was able to drive away the worst of them. He was crowned emperor of the newly formed realm, and for generations, Shibato's heirs continued to protect it from renewed incursions of undead. Under the Masaos' reign, the empire and Ikeda, its capital, flourished. This golden age has come to an end with the last few generations of monarchs paying little attention to the well-being of their people, focusing instead on gratification of their own desires. The current emperor, Kuno Masao, celebrates lavish feasts once a week, despite much of Ikeda's populace suffering from hunger. Kuno has sent out his tax collectors increasingly frequently, collecting money and food for his celebrations. Despite growing dissatisfaction, Ikeda's people have indulged Kuno so far, many hoping their contributions will gain them the emperor's favor, but the population is slowly realizing they have accepted things for too long. The situation is tense and violence is close to erupting.

Hooks This adventure begins with the PCs attending one of Kuno's frequent feasts for one of several reasons: A previous patron has arranged invitations for them as thanks for past help. Some middle-class citizens have pulled strings, hoping the somewhat renowned heroes will be able to bring the emperor to his senses before things grow violent. The PCs need access to a noble's library. Through bribes, they have managed to acquire invitations, hoping to speak to the noble after dinner.

Feast The feast takes place in the palace's great hall. In contrast to the rest of Ikeda, where even middle-class districts have fallen into disrepair, the palace is well-maintained and no expenses were spared on extravagant decorations. The PCs find themselves at the bottom of this feast's social ladder, their table smaller than all others, and farthest from Kuno. Others at their table include: A pair of nobles recently fallen into disfavor with the emperor, who spend the evening complaining about their 'demotion' A merchant, who supplied a rare wine for this event and happily enjoys his one evening participating in higher class life Otagi and her fourteen year old son Aso Aso is actually the emperor's second cousin. Otagi explains the two of them eat at the lowest table due to the distant relation. Additionally, Kuno blames the two of them for Otagi's husband (Kuno's blood relative, unlike Otagi, who married into the family) leaving them after Aso's birth, never to be seen again. However, social protocol dictates they be invited, since Aso carries the Masao bloodline in him (though he is 17th and last in line for the throne). Aso is curious about the PCs' life, pressing them for tales of their heroic deeds. When food is brought, it highlights this table's status. Every course is served here last, after most other tables have received seconds or thirds, and they only receive single servings. It is still sufficient to sate an appetite, but there is no chance to mimic the massive overindulgence going on elsewhere. During the pheasant course, PCs might start noticing some of the nobles at other tables looking slightly ill (DC19 Perception). If brought up, the two nobles at their table will huff that that is quite normal for the tables that receive plenty of food. By the cheese course, any PC who continued eating normally will start to feel slightly ill. NPCs at their table will admit to feeling the same way, though the amount of food doesn't warrant this. Glancing up, many of the guests at the other tables are looking sick, though most try to hide it, as if ashamed they can't eat more (DC14 Perception). Soon, guests begin dropping unconscious one by one. The PCs might be aware (DC14 Knowledge (local or nobility)) that there are food testers trying everything in order to prevent poisonings. Before they can dwell on it, Kuno himself collapses. The emperor's son announces the remainder of the feast is cancelled, promising everyone will receive invitations to a future event. Anyone still conscious is ushered out.

Invitation Over the next two days, word spreads that the emperor has died, poisoned at his last feast. The absence of a leader makes the growing unrest among the capital's population boil over, leading to violent confrontations between mobs of poorer citizens and richer Ikedians. Instead of the expected deescalating announcement when Kuno's son will be crowned emperor, however, there are rumors that he and the entire line of succession were poisoned as well. This last part proves to be untrue when a messenger summons the PCs to the palace, courtesy of Aso. The invitation indicates the boy needs help, mentioning 'monetary compensation' in return. At the palace, Aso and his mother receive the PCs, accompanied by Toda, the deceased emperor's advisor, who brings the group up to speed: All the food at the feast was dosed with trace amounts of a poison so dilute regular quantities of food would only make you feel ill (like everyone at the PCs' table). However, all the other tables overindulged significantly and over the last two days everyone who sat there has died. This included the emperor, his son and the other fourteen people ahead of Aso in the line of succession to the throne, making him the last living member of the Masao bloodline. Toda explains Aso taking the throne and giving the poor hope for change is the only thing that can still stop a full on war between the social classes at this point. Unfortunately, making Aso the ruler is not straightforward. Even though the empire is a hereditary monarchy, tradition dictates each new emperor must still have the power to protect the citizens should hordes of undead ever return to the realm. To prove themselves worthy, each prospective emperor must face a group of zombies in the colosseum, and must survive while making the undead dance the ceremonial 'Thrilla' dance. The idea is that only an emperor with the power to take the greatest threat to the realm and turn it into entertainment is mighty enough to protect the realm. Aso must overcome this trial to become emperor. Like all Masao, Aso's blood grants him some aptitude at controlling undead. The Masao focus this power with a magic item called 'fiddle of the night'. These fiddles are made of bone, with strings made from the tail hairs of a vampiric magical beast (one heir a century ago tried to use the hair of a humanoid vampire; the fiddle only worked on humanoid undead and he died during the trial). They work only for those of the Masao bloodline, amplifying latent abilities, and each fiddle only works for the person that chose and cut off the hairs, meaning each emperor needs their own. Fortunately, the bone part of such a fiddle is already completed: Kuno ordered an old elven instrument maker to produce it for his son's eventual trial. Aso still needs the hairs for the strings, however. Traditionally, Aso's father should be accompanying his son in procuring them. He would have also known where to look for a vampiric hydra (the Masao emperors have used the same hair source for several generations), unlike the 14-year old Aso. With his father out of the picture, Aso needs assistance, but no one in the palace can be trusted entirely after the whole poisoning event. So, Aso, impressed by the stories of the PCs' heroic deeds, wishes to hire them. He offers 1500 gp for assistance in acquiring his fiddle strings, and another 750 gp for helping him succeed at his trial. He can also offer access to the palace library once he is emperor. Should they accept, Toda points the PCs in the direction of the Durzon Isles, a group of broken islands to the northwest. Kuno travelled there with his father for his strings, so a vampiric hydra must live on one of the islands of the archipelago, which formed when an earthquake tore apart a peninsula. Once they find it, Aso will need to examine the tail hairs in order to choose some, and having sufficient time to do so requires the hydra to be incapacitated. Toda can't give specifics, but knows undead are immune to effects such as stunning. Allegedly, Kuno succeeded by putting the Hydra into a sort of food coma. Unfortunately, that involves letting the hydra drain blood, multiple times. To help with this, Toda hands over a potion, which makes the drinker's body quickly replenish its blood. Potion of Blood Replenishment Acts as a potion of cure light wounds, but additionally heals 8 points of constitution damage which resulted from blood loss, such as a vampire's blood drain. Toda explains that Aso's upcoming trial needs to be announced to the public for seven days from now, claiming that is the maximum amount of time before the riots will turn into a full blown revolution if there is no new emperor. Despite her son's protests, Otagi gives the PCs a stuffed animal, stating Aso got it from his father, and it will remind him to be brave if he is frightened during the journey. Stuffed Animal A non-magical stuffed lion. If presented to Aso as a move action while he is cowering in fear (see 'frightened child' ability in the 'Bone Fiddle' section), that condition immediately ends.

Bone Fiddle The journey starts with escorting Aso to Eldrin, the old elven instrument maker, to pick up the body of the fiddle. Although Aso was so far down the line of succession no one recognizes him in the streets, the group is accosted along the way. A group of disgruntled Ikedians are looking for someone to take their frustration out on. Aso's noble clothes make him an attractive target unless the PCs disguised him before leaving the palace (Disguise check, opposed by enemies' Perception checks). If Aso is not recognized as a noble, skip this encounter. Combatants What Tactics Disgruntled Half-Orcs 2 Traitorous Brigands (CR2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game NPC Codex) Attack toughest party member, flee at 50% HP. (Perception -1) Disgruntled Humans 4 Brigands (CR1/2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game NPC Codex) Attack richest looking party member, flee at 50% HP. (Perception +0) Aso Heir Apparent (CR2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game NPC Codex) with 'frightened child' special ability (see below) Fight back if attacked, plead with PCs not to kill anyone Frightened Child Aso is a 14-year old child that has only known court life. Upon being hit by any attack from an undead, he gains the cowering condition for one round. Upon arriving at Eldrin's house, the old elf invites the group inside. Despite the riots going on in town, the man seems very happy as he presents Aso with his masterfully crafted fiddle. Proud of his work, he rambles in detail about the instrument. Eldrin entertains the group for as long as they will stay. It takes a pointed reminder as to the urgency of things before Aso excuses himself.

Preparation Knowing what they are hunting, the PCs may want some information on vampires, available at local churches in return for a donation which they can pay or convince Aso to cover (Diplomacy check). PCs can also make Knowledge(Religion) checks themselves. Knowledge(Religion) DC Donation value(gp) Diplomacy DC Received information 16 40 17 Damage Reduction, Energy Resistance 20 70 21 Special Attacks&Qualities 25 130 26 Remaining abilities

Journey The ship journey to the Durzon Isles takes one day. There, the PCs must search the various isles of the broken Archipelago for the hydra. The ship's crew refuses to set foot on any of the fog-covered islands known to be home to undead. Finding the hydra requires three successes on DC22 Perception or DC18 Survival checks. Retries are possible, but for every two failures, the characters waste half a day thoroughly searching the wrong island, and have a random encounter (1d6 on table below). After a maximum of 3 days, they stumble across the hydra regardless. 1-3 2 Bat Swarms (CR2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary) 4-5 2 Allips (CR3, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary3) 6 3 Ghasts (Ghoul) (CR2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary)

Vampiric Hydra Eventually the group encounters the hydra (at night). Blood red-eyes decorate all five heads and a small bushel of hair adorns the end of its otherwise reptilian tail. Due to its undead immunities, incapacitating the Hydra is most likely achieved by overfeeding it. Combatants What Tactics Vampiric Hydra Hydra with Vampire template (CR6, both Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary) Bite, unless damaged beyond what fast healing 5 regenerates each round, in which case try to grapple (CMB+13) to use Blood Drain and heal. Aso see above Try to stay out of way but close for when Hydra is incapacitated The hydra will only feed when sufficiently hurt, but each time it does, it becomes more sluggish. After using its blood drain ability six times, it lies down on the battlefield, as if to take a nap. It is not really sleeping (DC13 Perception), so if someone gets close to its heads, it will attack without getting up (-2 penalty on attack and damage rolls due to sluggishness), though it won't drain more blood. It remains in this stupor-like food coma for five minutes, sufficient for Aso to cut some hairs from the tail. If the PCs come up with a shorter-lasting incapacitation method, Aso can rush this process, but it still takes him 1d4+2 rounds. If the hydra is reduced to 0HP, it assumes gaseous form and escapes. Between nighttime and fog, it is nearly impossible to follow (DC28 Perception). Following its tracks (from coming here) back to its lair is likewise difficult, but two hours of successful tracking (DC18 Survival) can lead to a cave, where the hydra is encountered again (it has fully regenerated). If the PCs don't track down the cave, they must wait until the hydra reemerges the next night.

Trial The return to Ikeda takes another day. If Aso is disguised as not noble-born, the group reaches the palace safely, otherwise repeat the encounter from the 'Bone Fiddle' section. Aso uses any time remaining before his trial to prepare. Completing the fiddle doesn't take long, but getting the undead to dance the 'Thrilla' is tricky. For every two days he practices playing, add +1 to his performance score during the trial (see below). Any PC with ranks in perform can help Aso (DC20 Perform, 1/day of practice, +1 per success to performance score). When the time comes, Aso and the PCs are led into the colloseum, filled with thousands of spectators. Several gates open, and a variety of undead pour forth into the arena. As Aso plays his fiddle, the undead feel its power and rush towards the source. PCs must hold them back from Aso until he reaches a performance score of 5 (see table below), at which point the undead cease attacking and begin to dance, clumsily at first. For the 'Thrilla' dance to be sufficiently impressive to let Aso pass the trial, the performance score must reach 10. Combatants What Tactics Zombies 7 human zombies (CR1/2, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary) Attack Aso Bestial Undead 4 Ape, Gorillas (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary) with Plagued Beast template (CR3, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary5) Attack Aso Aso see above Play fiddle Aso's performance score starts at 0, plus any bonuses accumulated by practice (see above). The following actions change his score: PC action Necessary check Performance score change Reduce number of performers by destroying an undead - -1 (maximum -3) Encourage Aso Diplomacy DC18 +1 (maximum +3) Gauge crowd reaction and give Aso feedback Sense Motive DC19 +1 (maximum +3) Improve performance by dancing along with undead Perform(Dance) DC12 +1 (only works if score above 5, bonus persists while PC dances) Other action improving performance - +1 (maximum +1 per different action) Additionally, Aso's performance score increases by +1 every round after he starts playing (representing him finding his rhythm), up to a maximum of +3. However, on the fourth round, he makes mistakes, reducing his performance score by 3 (negating the +3 from the previous three rounds). The undead can act normally that round. This also holds true if Aso interrupts his performance due to cowering after being hit. Repeat the cycle of Aso's score increasing by 1 per round to a maximum of +3, before dropping down to 0 until the score reaches 10, or less than six undead remain for the performance.

Conclusion If Aso's performance score reaches 10, the undead performance of the 'Thrilla' is amazing and he is crowned the new emperor. The PCs are given their promised reward and Aso promises the frequent feasts will stop in favor of the well-being of the common citizens. A long road awaits before the empire flourishes again, but Aso inspires enough hope among the population that the riots die down. Should Aso's performance fail, no new emperor is crowned and the riots escalate into a full blown war between the lower classes and the nobles.

Continuation Aso hires the PCs to find out who poisoned his family If he failed, Aso needs to flee the city before an angry mob kills him

Ingredients	Usage
Vampiric Hydra	Source of fiddle strings
Emperor's Second Cousin	Aso
Broken Home	Aso's father walked out on him, so he needs PCs' help; Rest of his family poisoned; Hydra lives on broken Archipelago
Stringless Fiddle	Aso's fiddle, in need of strings
Civil Unrest	Riots among Ikeda's population
Overindulgence of Food	The population's overindulgence of Kuno; Kuno and family only die from the dilute poison due to overindulging at the feast; Hydra's tail hairs are best acquired after it overindulges on blood
Unusual Healing Potion	Potion of Blood Replenishment
Jolly Old Elf	Eldrin, jolly instrument maker
Stuffed Animal	Stuffed lion used to remove fear from Aso

[RonarsCorruption]

 

How I’m judging you Runability (aka DM perspective) For this category, I'm interested in how easy it would be for a GM to run. I don’t expect you to give me full statblocks for every creature or trap, but I expect it to be clear what things are, their power levels, strengths, weaknesses and so on. I don’t expect breakdowns in every encounter, but I expect it to be clear what is a combat encounter, what is a skill challenge, what is description and so on. A lot of this boils down to clarity and consistency in your presentation. Playability For this category, I'll be looking at the entry from a player's perspective. Would I like to play in this adventure? Is there anything that I don't think I'd enjoy? Do I think I'd be hooked? Basically, what makes the player care about this adventure, and what do they get out of it? And of course, does it sound like it would be fun to play? Ingredients Each ingredient will be judged as its own individual category. In general I'll consider if it was important to the adventure, if it was creatively used, and if was it recognizable as it was supposed to be.

 

judgement Special -1 - I’m not entirely sure what happened, but it looks like you didn’t spoilerbutton or secret your entry this round. Runability 1.5/15 - I didn’t notice this immediately, but there’s no system or level listed. Nor an estimated number of PCs. Since you do include ‘skill’ checks, you’re better off picking a target system and working from that. (I eventually did figure out that this was 13th age, but you didn’t state it, so I’m leaving my earlier negative marks in because this shouldn’t have been something I figure out halfway through. - related: since all you say throughout is Skill Check, arguably a group could get through every encounter with Handle Animal or something. - Also related: if you’re not going to link to a system or even level, why include specific DCs? Why not just say ‘easy’, ‘hard’ and leave it freeform? - considering how much stuff the PCs don’t know that’s in the background, starting with “the emissary outlines the situation” does more harm than good, because there’s no direct thing for the GM to work from. - also, when does the second emissary arrive? Immediately? At the same time? Days later? This could have been interesting, but instead it feels tacked on, and the PCs are almost entirely sure to help the governor. - You say “if the PCs accept Shearwing’s offer”, but he didn’t offer anything. He cartwheels up, spouts nonsense that people only know is important because it wouldn’t have been included if it wasn’t… and then you assume the PCs follow this guy for some reason? Playability 3.5/15 - how do you know how the PCs will get to the island? Or that they will dock in Spearhead? (I mean, they probably will, because we don’t know if there are other port cities, but… presumably the elves have a port too) - why the heck does cutting down a mob with violence need a Skill check? - wait, wait – why does Shearwing know exactly where the hydra is? - I don’t think anyone will know what’s going on by the time section 7 rolls around. You handwave “shearwing will explain everything”, and assume this mad riddling bard can get information across without driving players and GM totally mad. Ingredients Vampiric Hydra 2.5/5 + The island’s protector spirit. - however… I get that you’re trying to explain that the serpent’s form is linked to the state of the island, but the things happening to this creature are weird and random without considering it to be a reflection of the state of the island. It feels like it became undead and a hydra to fit this ingredient. Emperor’s Second Cousin 3/5 + Current governor of the isle of Skagos Broken Home 1/5 - - - I guess the island? Maybe Childeric’s family? Not really clear. Stringless Fiddle 3/5 + Symbol of the empire’s victory over the sea elves. Solid. Civil Unrest 2/5 + Pervasive through the adventure. Unclear, but pervasive. Overindulgence of Food 2.5/5 + Interesting curse. Note however, that you explain the curse’s effects before saying that there is a curse. - And then… why the heck does this curse manifest like this? And all of a sudden? And… it’s unclear. Unusual Healing Potion +1 Oh, that magic cup that heals the hydra in the last fight. Yes, that counts. Jolly Old Elf -1 Shearwing isn’t jolly so much as weird. I did not enjoy his character. Wager Among Gods -1 This doesn’t seem to have any bearing on the adventure. You spoke of it in the background, but the only ways this manifests is to confuse people. Stuffed Animal +1 Solid use. I like that the governor has a stress toy. overall 19/60 I hate bashing adventures, and I can see the gem that this adventure could become. But it just doesn’t come together. There’s a lot of chaos in it, and some is by design but it results in not being clear what is happening or why. There are important characters and facts that don’t show up until the finale or conclusion. I just wish the whole thing was smoothed out and explained better. Perhaps it would go something like this… The island of Skagos is in trouble. Civil unrest that has been brewing since the Dragon Empire conquered it over two centuries ago, has come to a head with the installation of a new Governor, the second cousin to the emperor. Unknown to the new governor Chieldric IV or the leader of the rebellion Sirella Stormsea, this chaos is by design: the god of order Qa and the god of chaos, Sehwa are manipulating events and betting on the outcome. The PCs are the final pawns in this game of gods – against all odds, messengers from both the governor and the rebellion arrive at the same moment to the PCs to support their cause. The PCs must succeed a hard skill check or be forced to agree to serve one side or the other (gaining positive favor with that side, and negative with the other). Which ever side the PCs vouch for books them passage on a ship to Spearhead, the only large city on the island of Skagos, seat of the governor and heart of the conflict. Once the party arrives, they are mobbed by hungry citizens and must make a moderate skill check to pass through the crowd safely. Otherwise, they must use violence against the hostile crowd (reducing favor with both factions) or lose a recovery as they are mobbed and delayed. The party meets with the leader of the faction they aligned with. Chieldric tells them that this revolt is being made worse by a sudden famine, and the party must go North to investigate. Sirella tells the party that she has arranged that the empire’s markets can’t get food and people must come to her and the rebellion instead. Except that suddenly, her food supply has stopped and the PCs must go North to find out what happened. The PCs find the cursed farms North of town, with everyone gorged to unconsciousness. Perhaps there are some signs of duality here, like every vegetable grows two fruits from the same flower, one perfect the other weird. Something in the near distance (maybe a storm or light) draws the PCs onwards. The center of the curse is Vormyr, who is currently a two-headed hydra. The hydra talks to the PCs using traditional ‘one head always tells the truth, one always lies’, and claims (truly, although unbelievably) that it was resurrected by the gods to sow chaos, after being slain when the empire took over. The party fights it, and the zombie-like villagers. When the PCs beat it, Shearwing shows up. He’s the true descendant of the last bard king, and explains that only the Fiddle of Skagos can pacify the serpent who will resurrect at midnight every night. The party must go and get the fiddle from the governor. The check they must make depends on the side they allied with (social if allied with Chieldric, subterfuge is allied with Sirella). Then Shearwing explains it must be strung and played by the next ruler of the island, who cannot leave the island again – any of the three major NPCs can qualify. As the next bard king starts to play, Vormyr appears, now with three heads, and tries to kill the next king. The PCs must save them until the fiddle’s magic finishes. Then, the island will either be free and at war, or firmly under the empire’s iron grip, and the appropriate leader and god will reward them.

 

judgement Runability 9.5/15 + system and power level clearly defined. - at least in the intro, the writing is a bit choppy and doesn’t flow as well as it could. + the adventure flows very nicely. - I’d have liked to have seen a bit piece, at least, early in the encounter suggesting who killed the whole royal line, and maybe even why. It’s not directly relevant to what the PCs are doing, but I guarantee they’ll want to find out. You only even mention it again in conclusion. + Excellent statblocks and I love the frightened child special ability. + as always, your knowledge/information tables are fantastic. + great tension building with the random encounter table and timeframe. - I’m not totally sold on the numbers in the final encounter. I assume you did some math, but I strongly suspect that as written it will end up needing to be fudged by the GM. Playability 8.5/15 - It would have been nice to give players a little more control over the possibility of detecting poison early. More than just ‘people look like they’re starting to be ill’. + While I think the ceremonial “thrila” dance is kinda silly, it’s a solid joke. - So, you do know hydras are traditionally lizards, right? Not creatures with hair? Okay. Nice of you to explain that the party has to get hair from a hairless creature without explaining how that works. Are you thinking some other animal, like a chimera? + I like that you include a “the party is probably accosted in the streets, unless they took sensible precautions” thing. + I like that any time the PCs have left over becomes bonuses at the end. Ingredients Vampiric Hydra 3/5 + It’s straightforward, but clearly there, Emperor’s Second Cousin 5/5 + the young Aso + important NPC driving the plot, and participating in the adventure. ++ I love how you set him up as a character before introducing him as the key player in the adventure. Masterful. Broken Home 3/5 + an entire royal bloodline slaughtered is a pretty broken home. Stringless Fiddle 3/5 + the PCs main goal is to get… hair from a hydra for the fiddle. Civil Unrest 3/5 + how the people have begun to resent the emperor Overindulgence of Food 4.5/5 + the emperor’s regular feasts + I like how the party gets to experience a feast as a hook to the adventure. ++ death of a thousand cuts… or undetectable doses of poison. It would have been cool if you mentioned the poisoning had been going on for some time, but it’s still a great setup. Also, I’m a huge fan of the idiom “there is no such thing as poison, only a poisonous dose”, of which this is a perfect example. Unusual Healing Potion +1 + Awesome use – a blood restoration potion that cures only damage from blood loss is a really clever idea, and a neat item to boot. Jolly Old Elf +1 + There’s a jolly old elf who the party needs to interact with. He’s a bit piece, but he’s interesting and feels authentic. Wager Among Gods = Not included Stuffed Anmimal +1 + It’s a solid enough use, but it feels tacked on. I’ll give it to you, but only barely. overall 44.5/55 This was a great adventure, and I really enjoyed it. It was well structured, interesting and put together cleanly. Great job.

 

My vote goes to Inem’s The Child Emperor!

I’d like to say this match was close for me, but I found Inem’s adventure to be in a class of its own above the competiton – possibly above any other entry this year. Great job – you have my vote for Iron DM 2017

[MoonZar]

 

How I’m judging you Runability (15 pts) For this category, I'm interested in how easy it would be for a GM to run. I don’t expect you to give me full statblocks for every creature or trap, but I expect it to be clear what things are, their power levels, strengths, weaknesses and so on. I don’t expect breakdowns in every encounter, but I expect it to be clear what is a combat encounter, what is a skill challenge, what is description and so on. A lot of this boils down to clarity and consistency in your presentation. Playability (15 pts) For this category, I'll be looking at the entry from a player's perspective. Would I like to play in this adventure? Is there anything that I don't think I'd enjoy? Do I think I'd be hooked? Basically, what makes the player care about this adventure, and what do they get out of it? And of course, does it sound like it would be fun to play? Ingredients (30 pts) (5 pts max per ingredient, +1 bonus per bonus item used properly) Each ingredient will be judged as its own individual category. In general I'll consider if it was important to the adventure, if it was creatively used, and if was it recognizable as it was supposed to be.

 

Inem, the child emperor
Runability 12/15
Playability 12/15
Ingredient 26/30
TOTAL = 50/60

Amazing, really liked it overall, not many things bored me and I didn't saw an obvious mistake. As always, a masterpiece. Most of the ingredients were pretty well introduced, in particular, the emperor's second cousin that is part of the major plot. I also likely a lot how you dealt with the food problem with poison, that was well detailed and involved the party directly that attended one of the feasts.

Khelbiros, The Curse of Skagos
Runability 5/15
Playability 9/15
Ingredient 20/30
TOTAL = 34/60

The Vormyr idea is pretty cool to bring that ingredient, that he's some kind of epic serpent that became an undead Hydra, a lot of potential and fun for sure. I wished I could have know more about it as a DM and learn more about him as a player.

Not sure of the value of Qa and Sehwa in the story, it's an underdeveloped to my opinion, it could have been removed completely from the intro with little impact from the actual adventure. I also find that another chaos vs law duality had been overdone over the years in books and rpg. Not very original content.

I got a bit disappointed by the broken home and the civil unrest component. It showed a lot they were imposed on you and were not fitting that well the context and the encounter. I think you could have done much better. The Stringless Fiddle was good how you introduced it and the second emperor cousin was okay.

It's really on the Runability side that things went south, if I were to consider DMing this, I would have a lot of work to do. There's very little done to help the DM running this adventure.

Anyway, this story had a lot of potential around Vormyr, just not that well delivered I think. Sorry for my humble opinion.

[HenryLockwood]

 

This looks like an excellent final: well done both! Apologies for the poor formatting - it's late and I'm tired.

 

Technical:
Ease of running
- You don't say what system or level this is for.
- I'd have to fill in quite a lot of gaps in this; it feels like the outline or skeleton of an excellent adventure.
Presentation
+ Very clear, step-by-step flow.
Quality of writing
- "Acculturated" isn't a word.
+ Overall very clear and enjoyable.

Overall: 8/15

Story:
Player experience
- A 5-headed hydra doesn't feel very mythical. You set this up for a really epic adventure and then the encounters all felt a bit... low-level.
Interesting story
- Yes, but the PCs feel more like spectators than actors, and that's not typically why I play RPGs.
Creative scenario
+ A great setup
+ A range of ways to end the adventure, depending on player choices.

Overall: 9/15

Ingredients
Main
a Vampiric Hydra
+ You did well with this - a guardian serpent being factured by a half-successful invasion.
the Emperor's Second Cousin!
+ He's essential to the plot, but...
- He could have been a minor noble of any description.
a Broken Home!
+ A creative interpretation, and essential to the adventure.
a Stringless Fiddle!
I'm not sure whether I like this one or not. It's good, but not excellent; I can't quite put my finger on why I don't love it.
Civil Unrest!
- This felt like a token background feature.
and an Overindulgence of Food!
+ This one, though only briefly visible, was well done.

Overall: 20/30

Bonus Ingredients
an Unusual Healing Potion!
0 - I didn't notice this.
a Jolly Old Elf!
Presumably this was the bard. However, he was more "mad" than "jolly and old".
a Wager Among Gods!
+ The details of the wager, including the mad bard and the ineffectual governor, are great.
and a Stuffed Animal!
+ You used this one subtly and essentially. Well done.

+2 bonus points!

Total: 39/64

 

Technical:
Ease of running
+ I love the way you start with multiple possible hooks, suggesting ways for the DM to lead in from previous adventures.
Presentation
+ Nice and clear and logical.
Quality of writing
+ As always at this stage in the competition, this is great.

Overall: 12/15


Story:
Player experience
+ The PCs get to be right at the centre of the action, and essential to the plot.
+ The PCs don't have to sacrifice their status as adventurers and retire after the scenario.
Interesting story
+ The practice section and the performance at the end are great.
Creative scenario
+ Help the boy become king - while avoiding revolution. An excellent combination of two classic ideas.
- I tried to forgive it, but the Michael Jackson reference really didn't work for me.

Overall: 12/15


Ingredients
Main
a Vampiric Hydra
- Hydras don't have hair, they have scales.
the Emperor's Second Cousin!
- Nice try, but a second cousin really isn't that distant in most imperial families.
+ On the other hand, he's the centre of the adventure, and an interesting character.
a Broken Home!
+ I can see Otagi and Aso becoming important
a Stringless Fiddle!
+ The "traditionally the boy's father would have helped" gives a great lead-in.
Civil Unrest!
+ Right there in the background, and could be played up to be an unforgettable part of the game.
and an Overindulgence of Food!
+ An imperial feast, with the background of starvation? Love it.
+ The throwaway line "the pheasant course" is brilliant.
Also well done for using this on the vampire.

Overall: 22/30

Bonus Ingredients
an Unusual Healing Potion!
+ There's a reason to have it, and it makes the adventure survivable.
a Jolly Old Elf!
+ The delay he causes can actually be important.
a Wager Among Gods!
Not used.
and a Stuffed Animal!
+ This is the best item I've seen here, and I wish I could give you more than one bonus point for it.



Total: 49/64

 

Though Khelbiros wrote a good adventure, Inem wrote an excellent one - and the Child Emperor gets my vote.

[Admin Bhelogan]

 

Scores

Category	Khelbiros	Inem
DM Perspective / The Technical*(15 points)	8	11
a. How easy would it be to run this scenario/adventure?*(5 points)	2	3
b. How well is the scenario/adventure presented?*(5 points)	3	4
c. How well is the scenario/adventure written?*(5 points)	3	4
Player Perspective / The Story*(15 points)	10	12
a. What would this scenario/adventure be like to play?*(5 points)	4	4
b. Is the story interesting to read?*(5 points)	3	4
c. How creative is the scenario/adventure?*(5 points)	3	4
Audience Perspective / The Ingredients*(15+ points)	19	23
a. How well was the ingredient used?*(5 points each)	17	20
b. Bonus Ingredent?	2	3
Total Points	37	46

Feedback

Khelbiros – First thing I note is there is no system called out, or appropriate level for the party. This would make me think it is a system-agnostic adventure, which is fine, but that falls apart when we get skill checks with DCs and page numbers called out in rules books. I know it seems like a simple oversight that shouldn’t matter much, but it really sets the adventure off on a confusing tone. I like the story itself a lot, and I think it would be something memorable to the players. There is a lot a GM would need to fill in to complete this, but given the ingredients, I see how such a large-scale adventure needed to be pieced together. I think the amount of word count used on the intro probably hurt you in the long run here (about 22% of your allowed words went here), and left less room for fleshing out the rest of the adventure.


Inem – This was an interesting story with some fun adventure in it. My biggest catchup is this… All of the Royal family gets poisoned and killed except the last heir in line. You would think that most people would immediately blame him as the murderer, seeing he had the motive to do it. Perhaps this could be addressed in the ‘continuation’ section, where the PCs learn that they have spent all this time and effort helping a very bad man take the throne, and then have to deal with the consequences. There is a fair amount of pre-adventure setup required to pull this off as well, given the hooks involved. Beyond those two gripes, this was really well done.

Decision – I feel like this was closer than my score probably shows. A few tweaks and thinks overlooked in Khelbiros’ adventure, and my vote may have very easily gone the other way. As is though, my vote goes to Inem, and I give both of you a heartfelt congratulations on making it to the finals this year in Iron DM! Congratulations!

[GodRosen]

 

Khelbiros
DM Perspective: 11/15
(3/5)(4/5)(4/5)
Player Perspective: 12/15
(3/5)(5/5)(4/5)
Ingredients:
Vampiric Hydra: 4/5
Emperor's Second Cousin: 5/5
Broken Home: 5/5
Stringless Fiddle: 5/5
Civil Unrest: 4/5
Overindulgence of Food: 5/5

Bonus Ingredients:
Unusual Healing Potion: Y
Jolly Old Elf: Y
Wager Among Gods: Y
Stuffed Animal: Y

Feedback: I loved reading your story and I loved that with your entry you kept coming back to the ingredients. Like with the feast and famine parts of the island. One part of the island has an overindulgence of food and then you revisit this ingredient with vampiric hydra giving the right hint of words to give the impression that it has also had an overindulgence of food. I also liked the stringless fiddle first it is the representation of who has conqured who and then it is needed to lift curse. I did enjoy reading your entry and I did see mentions of mechnics but I double checked and I didn't know what game system this was for nor what level adventuring party this was built for. Then finally the formatting of the entry. Everything is broken down into sections and of course named for easier finding so no matter where one leaves off it would not take that long to find their spot again. Great work on your entry and awesome job making it to the finals.

Inem
DM Perspective: 14/15
(5/5)(5/5)(4/5)
Player Perspective: 13/15
(4/5)(5/5)(4/5)
Ingredients:
Vampiric Hydra: 4/5
Emperor's Second Cousin: 5/5
Broken Home: 5/5
Stringless Fiddle: 5/5
Civil Unrest: 5/5
Overindulgence of Food: 5/5

Bonus Ingredients:
Unusual Healing Potion: Y
Jolly Old Elf: Y
Wager Among Gods: N
Stuffed Animal: Y

Feedback: Welcome again to the finals of Iron DM. As with your previous entries great work very entertaining read and as with previous entries and rounds, something you are probably used to now, its time to pick it apart. I enjoyed all of your uses of the ingredients and I even enjoyed where you came back to the same ingredient more than once and even in different ways. I also really enjoyed your use of the civil unrest in putting the pressure on and making it a time trial to get everything needed to have Aso pass the trial to become emporer. I also really liked how you put into bold all things mechanics related then in a different color you put in everything that takes time so everyone can keep track of what time they have left. Very good work sir and thank you for a great entry. You two made a good match and made it hard to figure out which one was better.

[hvg3akaek]

Originally Posted by Chairman Haga

With a crash of thunder, the clash of blades faded, the heavy breaths of exhausted combatants could be heard where the mutters of pain and fear once lingered. The battle was over, their energy spent, and now, finally, the time for the ultimate judgement was to be had.

The Pouncing Challenger had performed well throughout the competition, biting and clawing through her foes, knocking over those who would stand before her. There was a moment when the former Iron DM looked ready to be taken down - but that was not to be Khelbiros' path. For Inem rose up stronger than before, and gathering a score of 51.3, claims the title of Iron DM 2017 - for the first time in history, defending the title successfully against the arena of challengers! Congratulations!

And well done to each and every other participant this year - all the challengers and hopefuls, all the judges, and all the audience! Continue to write, run, and participate in great adventures over the next year, and stay tuned for next year's competition, where a thoroughly exhausted Inem will have to battle his way through yet another arena of hopefuls and challengers, each intent on claiming the crown, and becoming the Iron DM!

 

Judge	Inem	Khelbiros
Admin RonarsCorruption	42.5	19
Bhelogan	46	37
GodRosen	59	55
HenryLockwood	49	39
MoonZar	50	34
Early Submission	2	2
TOTAL	51.3	38.8