1st Annual Roast a Mod Contest!!!

[Squeak]

1st ANNUAL
ROAST A MOD CONTEST!

1st Annual Roast a Mod Contest Have you ever wanted to heckle a mod mercilessly, making fun of them for their stupid comments, weak writing skills -- or in Dirkoth's case, severe halitosis? What if I told you you could do all that and get rewarded for it, while contributing to an amazing cause? NOW YOU CAN!!! Introducing the 1st Annual "Roast a Mod" competition! Here's how it works. Simply make a donation of $5 or more towards to the BBR Foundation by hitting 'Support' at the rpgx donation link. Please be sure to mark "Mod Contest" in the memo field - or let one of us know you've made the donation. Then take tear into Any of the following Moderators with the witticisms of your choosing! If you donate $10 or more, you will also receive the membership and charity drive rewards at the end of the drive (a PDF bundle, TBA.) The following Moderators are participating in this event. Please, use your donation to burn them (but leave the other, hard working staff to do their jobs. Someone has to do the heavy lifting around here, while the slack-offs get roasted). Dirkoth, Squeak, Nimlos, Henry Lockwood, Inem, Bhelogan, Ion2Atom, ItsaVerb, Birched Want to roast more than one mod? No problem!!! You can make one post for each donation you make!!! On Dec 31st, the contest will end and the rpxp for each post will be counted to see who did the best job of roasting the mods. The winner will receive a 12 month CS membership for themselves or a friend!!! —- so be sure to give out rpxp to all of your favorite zingers! Remember that this is a family friendly site and the site rules are in force for this, so no profanity or otherwise objectionable content please!!! 100% of the proceeds from this contest will go to the Brain Behavior Research Foundation!!!

[Squeak]

And to get things started, let's go after the easiest target of all the mods, DIRKOTH.

I would like to say that despite what most of you think, Dirkoth is a pretty valuable member of our staff. He's about as valuable as an ashtray on a motorcycle. I've actually been a big supporter of Dirkoth, and only for the price of a cup of coffee a day.

A female RPGX member once walked up to Dirkoth and said "If you’re who I think you are, I’m definitely sleeping with you tonight.’ He smiled and said, ‘Yeah, I'm Dirkoth!’ And she replied, ‘Oops sorry. I thought you were the main orc from the Lord of The Rings.'

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but most of Dirkoth's posts are pretty short. I think that's because he's saving his breath to blow up his next date.

You may not know this, but Dirkoth works at a concrete plant. He doesn't like it as much as he used to, saying that it just gets harder and harder.

[dirkoth]

I work at a CEMENT plant, not a concrete plant, you doofus.

Technically, I am EMPLOYED at a cement plant. No one has actually seen me work.

[Squeak]

The thread just started and I'm already envisioning duct tape over your keyboard.

[dirkoth]

I thought your parole terms said you couldn't carry duct tape anymore?

Zip ties, duct tape, chloroform... all verbotten.

[Imveros]

I read the most interesting thing yesterday. Did you know that the surface of the Sun will pass Earth's orbit in 7.6 billion years? It's such a large number to comprehend!

To put that in perspective, The Earth will be consumed in atomic fire about the time Briched finishes the StarFinder character sheets!

[Imveros]

Joking aside, you should all offer Ion2Adam your condolences if you have the time. You see he recently found out he was turned down for his dream job!

They took one look at his resume, saw his year plus of moderating the RPGX Tug of War, and said he was far too overqualified to be a cat herder.

Poor guy

[dirkoth]

Originally Posted by Imveros

I read the most interesting thing yesterday. Did you know that the surface of the Sun will pass Earth's orbit in 7.6 billion years? It's such a large number to comprehend!

Did you see this, Squeak?

We should probably get going on our plan to fly a spaceship to the sun, and claim it for RPGX!

[WhiteStag]

WAIT!--- ROAST DIRKOTH!?!! WHOA! WHOA!

**WhiteStag reaches for his credit card ... **

[dirkoth]

Absolutely, WS.

This is the SECOND annual Roast Dirkoth contest.

We just added more people to the roast, and Squeak has trouble with counting past one, so...

[Nimlos]

Roasting Dirkoth is like preparing a bag of microwave popcorn. It's so ridiculously easy to do that ultimately it's just not all that satisfying.

[McQuiggin]

Birched has been around for so long that he gets all nostalgic when he sees an emoji. He remembers when they were hieroglyphics!

[dirkoth]

Originally Posted by Nimlos

Roasting Dirkoth is like preparing a bag of microwave popcorn. It's so ridiculously easy to do that ultimately it's just not all that satisfying.

Speak for yourself. I find it very satisfying.

[McQuiggin]

The other day Dirkoth and I were talking about weight lifting. He told me that he had a body of a Greek God. I had to tell him that Buddha isn't Greek!

[McQuiggin]

Itsaverb told me that he did a Google search on lighters. He got so upset when 39,478 matches came up!