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  #16  
Old Feb 5th, 2021, 04:54 PM
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Up and Mushrooms
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Lofwyr, the wine has definitely been stored in a cool dark place. You just do not love it.

But you love UP. Up you go. UP UP UP pretty far. And then you crawl along a tube that smells not super great, and is a tight fit. Squeezy, especially with your new Pecs++. But you are the biggest slasher. If you can get through, they all can. You come out in what is clearly and old secction of Vallos sewer pipe.

Jane said her message found the Baron when she pointed UP, NORTH, EAST. You went up, so. Hrm. Tunnels run north and east. A coin toss.

Justin you have another swig, rolling the wine around in your mouth. It's just WINE. Really GOOD wine; you are risking nothing but a headache if you drink more, and that is a risk. This aintcher Mama's 11.5% Pinot Gris, more like a pretty serious 15% kinda dealio. You could hurt yourself.

Right now, you feel pretty good. Smooth. Cheery. You could sip little sips and coast like this for HOURS. With +3 on the BROgun. Or. OOOORRRRRR!!!!! (OR?!) You could chug. See what happens if you move from buzzed to DRUNKED. The BROgun feels this idea is great. Yeah, Druuuunked! Sober Justin feels like ranged weaponry and blotto do not mix. Buzzed Justin? Is on the fence. Could go either way. Buzzed, or drunk?

Whichever you choose, You also go UP after Lofwyr.

Spyder you eat the cotton top, and then---you fall down. You squirm and writhe. Dragar looks on with interest. Hey was that poison? he asks. He sounds hopeful. HEY, is that the cottony thing you fed ME? His tone is grumpier.

Spyder, all your skin is coming off. Ripping off. Ripping away. Or no, you are ripping. In HALF. You make a terrible high pitched noise.

You can't even DIE on-key, Dragar mutters.

And then it stops. You feel fine. You stand up. YOU also stand up. A spare Spyder stands blinking at you. He looks surprised, but this is because you look surprised. He looks amazingly hot in his Lovi-Armor because, well, you know why!

Spyder, You go up. Spyder, other you goes up. Two? TWO! Not what the world needs, is it? Dragar asks no one. He goes up.

right-aligned image
Jane and Durza it is about time someone ate the delicate, translucent mushrooms. And it is going to be you two. Or so you think. As you bring each bring a fungus to your face-holes, the pileus yearns away, the scales clap and tremble, the gills hiss and whir, the ring swirls flappingly, the stape jerks and twists, the volva wishes it was not called that, and the mycelial threads squirm like tiny, panicked legs against your fingers. Both are trying very hard with all kinds of tiny noises and squirmy movements to NOT go in either mouth.

12 dex check to get it in your mouthPerhaps you persevere? If you DO get it in, it is tooth-bounce-y and unchewable. Your teeth boing off, and the fungus struggles frantically toward your lips, trying to escape. Jane, if you can get it in there, WOW, you kinda wish you could hold it jittering and buzzing in your mouth forever. It is like a rubbery, upset lozenge. But you cannot. It IS going to get out. Or you could swallow it whole.

Durza and Jane, you go up. ERRYBODY in the sewers!


Mordanda v/s TTT Piggs is gone. Iggy puts his head out. There is a new light in his eye. Or maybe they are just watering from the raw sewage in the pipe he has clambered into to hide.He thumps the pipe and warbles along with you, Hingalon, as you serenade his liberation.

I can do what I want? He asks. Hingalon, your song affirms this. I CAN DO REEEALLLLLY WHAT WHAT I WANT? He asks. Baron, you affirm this by asking him to help liberate others. But if I can do what I want---well. I want to be named what my mom who loved me and is dead called me and it is Dearest Fig Pudding. Figs for short, for friends. If you are my friends? And for formal events, which enslaved goibs never get to go to but I want to go and wear a TIE, a FANCY BOW TIE, and there I would be called Mr. Pudding? He asks hopefully.

Somewhere east, you hear a door thump open. Not the pantry door. Another. Farther east. His eyes go wide and alarmed. Dearest Fig Pudding does what he wants. He squirms up the pipe and re-hides. Freely. Hides of his own free will. Hides. Better.

You realize you are absolutely in combat. You run toward the apartment and drag the HO hither and thither! Six breathless seconds pass.

Your move.


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Last edited by Fillyjonk; Feb 5th, 2021 at 05:06 PM.
  #17  
Old Feb 5th, 2021, 07:49 PM
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Baron de Boom
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Pimples Kropotkin on Revolutionary Discipline vs Agrarian Spontaneity
While traditional revolutionary movements have looked to the peasants as providing the revolutionary spark of the movement, these very same movements have also asked—or even forced upon—the peasants to yield the vanguard position once, in each fighting group and in each village, a cadre of revolutionary commissioners arise to guide and shape the people's movement. But the genius of the spontaneous zeal brought forth by those on the land should not be trammeled—indeed those who seek to guide it are guilty of counter-revolutionary spirit. Only those who have been birthed in revolutionary violence or revolutionary action are capable of preserving the revolutionary flame and reasserting revolutionary zeal when—as will happen—there arises a self-proclaimed class of leaders, thinkers and administrative bureaucrats who would seek to mine the movement for their own goals. Goblins who take their own liberation should remain within their evolving liberation. For the truest revolutionary acts come not in the moment of sparking the revolution, but in cleaning its toilets and in stirring its embers so it remains a vital, productive force claimed by those who live it.
—Pimples Kropotkin, Conscience, Consciousness and Challenge Ratings: The Danger of Staleness in Beer and Vanguards p. 45


In the sacred space of time after Figs asserted his name and before he hid himself in the depths of the sewer pipe, Baron de Boom ripped off the faded yellow trim of his sporty underwear and fashioned a bowtie (thistle style) around Mr. Pudding's neck.

Then, he turns to the captive half-orc and frees her with the use of his tools, turns back toward the passageway and readies a spell.

 


 

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Last edited by bananabadger; Feb 5th, 2021 at 09:00 PM.
  #18  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 01:42 AM
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Justin spends a few more seconds fanning himself and admiring Lofwyr's spankin' pumped up pecs, sloshing the wine all over brogun and the already icky sewer floor. "Wooo! Didn't know sewers made you blossom, bruv! Oh hey guys, did you want some a thish?" He offered the unstoppered shrine wine bottle to Durza, Spyder, and Jane, but not Dragar. He could get his own wine. Why's he even with them again?

"Why are you following us again? Anyway, alright alright alright a'ight a'ight 'aight. Where we goin' now?" The Baron and The Hin and The Piggsy were somewhere here, Janeydoe said, and all Brogun wanted was to PARTAAAAY but Justin knew dramatic moments, and this wasn't it. Simmer down, buddy... We can get wasted later, more than enough waste around, eh? Ehhh?! He chuckled at his own mental joke.

"Okay okay okay okay okay okay. So Bdb and Hing ang Piggsy Pop are here somewhere, yeah? I vote we go north! Because the north remembers! Hey why are your mouths moving?" He asked Jane and Durza, suddenly curious. Maybe he tries to Help, if they let him? Consent is important after all, y'all. "Whanna whash dat down wid shum whiiiiiiiiiine~?"

Justin's Mechanics
Free Action: I vote going north, but fine going east too, Justin's pretty to drag around currently
Bonus Action:
Move:
Action: HELP deez ladies swallow dem shroomz!
More Movement:
Reaction: AoO
Condition:
Concentrating:

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Last edited by ElderOblex; Feb 6th, 2021 at 02:42 AM.
  #19  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 02:07 AM
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Dagger Jane, Eladrin Bard/Sorcerer
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"Justin, Justin, will you please cheese it, I'm trying to eat this wiggly mushroom!"

Jane gnashes at the mushroom with her sharp teeth, but the little thing twists and jitters away from her, and resists being eaten. She shakes it by its dumb roots.

"Get in my THROAT," she shouts at it, and jack-hammers it into her face, but it darts left and right, evading her. Jane shouts a swear in aboleth voice that reverberates down the sewer.

"Justin, Durza, look." Jane twiddles the little ring around the middle of the mushroom stalk, to the great perturbation of the mushroom. "It's got an annulus. An annulus Justin. Look an aaayyyyn-you-luuuussssss."

Jane does some spider climb 360s around and around the tunnel in a spiral as they go. It should be confessed that Jane also laughs at the planet Uranus and at the capital of Djibouti which is Djibouti. And if it should ever happen that the number of anything is 69, she will snerfle into her hand and point out, "That is a s*x thing."

"Hey Justin, Justin." Jane spider-climbs along the ceiling of the sewer, distressingly backwards and upside down, following Lofwyr. She's bored with the mushroom now and notices that Justin is drunk which is more fun anyway. "Durza, Justin is oiled. He is well oiled. We should we get Justin to eat our mushrooms. Hey Justin, Justin, I bet you can't eat them *both* at the same time. Eat them! Eat this one!"

She dangles the mushroom around Justin's face trying to mash it in.


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Last edited by lostcheerio; Feb 6th, 2021 at 02:09 AM.
  #20  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 01:49 PM
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Choices
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The escape tube was dark, cramped, and smelly. Kind of like most of the venues they played in the early days. And most of the crash pads he frequented during his travels. So, it didn't bother the Skald too much. At least he didn't get stuck.

Just as expected, He emerged into a sewer. A stream of filth and mouldy bricks. All in all, not a bad place. At least those bonesuckers weren't wriggling around here. The tunnels went two ways. North and East so maybe either path would work? He turned to see if everyone followed him up. Justin was right behind, swaying a bit more than usual and doling out compliments. "Thanks bruh, you're glowing a bit yourself dude!" He gave the Elodrin a friendly slap on the butt.

Then came Jane. she continued her climbing straight up the damp walls. Next came Durza, and Spyder, and Spyder, then the pink dude. Wait, Two Spyders!?! Was there something else in that wine? No, everything isn't doubled. Well, that could only improve their chances! "Whoa! Spyder your multiplying! Man, you just single-handedly doubled our chances at winning."

Justin wondered why Dorkar was tagging along. "I think he's finally found his home, Justin. Remeber, Spyder said he was a real piece of...well, you know. And that stuff is everywhere in here!" Lofwyr cracked up at his own joke.

When his beautiful bro Justin said North, Lofwyr thought that was as good of a direction as any. He wasn't the type to analyze things or agonize over a choice. "North it is! Baron! Hingalon! We're here dudes!" The bardbarian started leading them down the North tunnel. It was the dryer choice at least.

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  #21  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 03:03 PM
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"But of course, my good goblin, you can do exactly as you want. Among the many things you can do, being called Figs is one of them. And of course we are your friends, and buddies, and fellow bards. Also, fellow dungeon delvers, but don't get carried away now -- you know that thing you've been doing so far, the hiding thing you're so good at? Yeah, keep doing that -- no need to get hurt, we want you in tip-top shape on stage! As soon as we'll be out of this sewer, that is."

"Also, let me get it straight: in formal occasions, and formal attire, it'll be Mr. Pudding. Duly noted. Fun fact: one of the few things I liked about my father was his collection of bow ties. Tight ones, floppy ones, muted colors or bright, raw silk, shiny fabrics... he had dozens, I swear. If we have time, we'll buy you one to wear for the incoming concert. You're gonna perform with us, right? Oh wait! Check out the one baron made for you! It's yellow and fancy! And... well... let's just say that it's very clean, compared to other pieces of underwear in the immediate vicinity," he concluded with a surreptitious gaze at his own loincloth, now dark grey.

<a door thumps open>

"Now, what are you doing in that pipe again? Yes, right, that's what I just told you to do. But never mind about hiding now, follow along, we have to give Baron a hand with that half-orc!"

To be sure of being followed, Hingalon grabbed the goblin's hand and went with him with to help Baron.

"See, he's already freed her. What a great dude. Baron, you keep watch; Iggy... ehm, Figs -- help me, keep her head up. I'm going to give her some well-needed healing. I have to say, I grew kinda fond of the Iggy moniker: what do you think, could you keep it as a stage name? Iggy for the fans, Figs for the bros, Mr. Pudding for the producers and other assorted posh people."

In the meantime, Hingalon was pushing his palms on the half-orc chest, transferring a part of his inner energy to knit wounds and repair internal damage. "Here we go... how do you feel? Can you get up? What's your name, by the way?"

Hingalon's OOC and Actions
OOC and ROLL: Since the half-orkette is still near death, I'll cast a 2-nd lv Cure Wounds. It's 2d8+4 HP... I'll roll right here...
Dice Heal, heal, heal the orkette!:
2d8+4 (6, 8)+4 Total = 18
a very nice 18! yay!
Saving throws:
Free Action:
Move:
Action:
Reaction:
Bonus Action:
Condition:
Concentrating:


 
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Last edited by stepanxol; Feb 6th, 2021 at 05:42 PM.
  #22  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 03:24 PM
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No sooner had the mushroom gone down than Spyder started to feel a bit weird. It started as a pain in his stomach but quickly spread, right up and down his whole body. He curled up, clutching at himself and felt like he was quite beside himself. And then he was quite literally beside himself.

He peered at the other him and the other him peered right back. So… which was the real Spyder? This was confusing.

"So, are you me or am I you?" they both said and then looked abashed. The others were already moving on, so Spyders hurried to catch up, each unslinging Genevieve because, well to be totally frank this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Spyder had never jammed with another lutist as good as himself and he had always kind of hoped to be able to (but still kind of hadn't, because then he would have to admit that there was someone as good as himself). This was the absolute perfect situation!

Spyders strummed and picked away. At first they couldn't help but step on each other's toes, since they both wanted to do exactly the same thing at the same time, but soon they got into a rhythm, taking turns, daring each other to try a slightly more difficult progression or attempt a previously unheard chord change. This was joy. They didn't even stop when crawling through the sewer pipe, each sliding on their bum so they could keep their hands free. Of course, the leathers were not happy about this, but they each wove a quick prestidigitation into their playing when they got to the other side and wheeked that sewage right out!

They played their lutes and wove in and out amongst the others. They saw Jane feeding a mushroom to Justin, but there seemed to be a bit of an issue with getting the thing into Justin's drunken mouth, so they tweaked their tune to cast a quick bit of Guidance onto Justin.

Spyder Actions
 

 

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Last edited by Lazer; Feb 7th, 2021 at 04:57 AM.
  #23  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 05:27 PM
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North and NO! Mushrooms!
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Justin you offer wine around to try to help Jane get her mushroom eaten, and then suggest North! You ask Dragar why he is with you.

He raises one over-manicured eyebrow, albeit one that has lost its wax over the course of his ordeal.

Dragar says
, To get out of here, I hope! I still want to try and make the fest. I assume Crisp's little undersecretary thingy explained the error? I even came by the low rent diveflop where you kinda found your level last night. I wanted to buy Spyder here a drink and say, Aw, too bad, thanks for understanding, Which considering how you lame-ohs CHOSE a name to sound like MY band, is pretty big of me, really. Imitation may well be the sincerest form of flattery, but it is also the sincerest form of being kinda tragic...

Enraging, but the Spyders are so busy double-luting it, its possible they did not hear. It sounds pretty awesome, in the tunnel, especially. When yous come out into the sewers, yous hear a person singing along with yous! You think? It is coming from a drain in the floor, yous realize, brought here by some twist of the acoustics. A-POO-stics?

Is that---Hingalon's voice. You cannot make out the words. Maybe you hear the words teeth and white? But mostly it is garbled into nonsense words like, sredni vashtar and murmble durmble You cast a little guidance Justin's way to help HIM eat the mushroom, too lost in your music to see who is feeding whom.

Durza, your shroom successfully evades being eaten. For the moment.

Jane, you cannot get the 'shroom eaten. You spider up and zoom around and you ORDER it, but it does not consent. It launches a peaceful protest that only remains peaceful because it is not armed. As you fail to eat it, you discover the mushroom has many unfortunately named parts. HA HA, butt words are funny.

Justin is trying to hand you wine so you can take your fungus like a pill, but you are trying to feed it to him and Spyder is guiding him to help himself while he is helping you. It is a bit of a cluster fork, and the upshot is, the band gets to keep that tag in the credits that says, No mushrooms were harmed in the filming of this one specific episode (so far).

Lofwyr, you do a head count. EVERYONE IS UP! They all seem to be following you, so great! Including an extra Spyder? Okay then! You make an executive decision for the band (minus your littles) to head North, up the dry tunnel. You wish Spyder would make a different executive decision about Dragar, and Dragar's head, and the continuing attachment of this empty object to DRagar's body. The North tunnel leads to a little room. A thick wooden gate stands in the east.


Mordanda v/s TTT Hingalon, you try to convince Figsy to come out and help with your Diva problem. No dice. You gave him free will, and he uses his to stay all but invisible. You peer up the pipe and do not even see him. He has hidden like a frog in a bog, green on green, likely buried in unendurable matter. OH, WELL. You run to the pantry and drop a BIG heal on the Half Orc. Even as you do this, the Baron is cutting her bonds.

What the HELLS? she says, staring wildly at you as her flesh knits together. Baron De ---Burn? Is that you and um, One Gallon Hin? She looks very familiar, but just then, she seems to realize where she is. She panics and goes scrambling away on all fours, trailing ropes, east, out of the pantry over the rubble. She turns the corner and crawls north yelling back to you, RUN! MORDANDA IS HERE, like THE Mordanda, the actual real singer, but, guys! I THINK SHE MIGHT BE EVIL.

The pantry door swings open again. As if on its own. There is no one there. It just OPENS, but you do see another open door leading south and a closed door at the end of the kitchen, in the west.

Then you hear a voice say, YOUR CON IS GONE! and the air in the doorway shimmers and there she is - MORDANDA! You bards have used Invisibility enough to recognize it when it gets dropped because the invisible being is casting. As her edges fill in, Hingalon, you recognize the Warlockian Hex that smacks onto your skin. This chick has a PACT! No wonder she's so famous! She is holding a small synthesizer with a built in drum machine, and as she appears, she hits a button on it and sings at you:

Hey gob, don't listen to your mother when she tells you you ain't pretty
Because I already told you
Hey Hin, listen your diva, when I say, please stand together
With the gob I'm gonna ruin!
Oh no no am I getting too loud?
Am I getting too loud?
Oh no no am I getting in your head?


A loud sharp wave of sound blasts into you. It hurts. She steps south, out of sight again.



OOC
 

Last edited by Fillyjonk; Feb 6th, 2021 at 05:56 PM.
  #24  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 07:15 PM
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Baron de Boom
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What is that? the Baron thought as he suffered through Mordanda's ditty. And quickly he realized the answer. An embarrassment, that's what.

Sure enough, Mordanda—the Mordanda—had made the most common mistake of long-time established artists, she tried to force hipness.

The Baron understood, he truly did. It's always a struggle as an ageing artist to remain relevant. Too many new voices, too many emerging ideas, just too much to keep up with. And the audiences ... are fickle. They love you, then they are all: yeah, yeah, that's my grandgob's music, man.

You had to reinvent yourself. You had to find new things and challenge yourself, but you have to be authentic. You got to collaborate with the youth, not co-opt them. You can't force it. Nothing worse than that. And that was what Mordanda was doing: Hey, fellow kiddos! Check out this zany grooving tune!

So, feeling ashamed for this musical legend, the Baron decided it would be better to help her burn out rather than fade away into a caricature of herself. Really, it was for her own good.

"Give me some, space!" he shouts to Hingalon, trusting the halfling would know what was about to go down from their past adventures in crowded bars and—come to think of it—one or two backstage kitchens as well.

The Baron launches himself at—and hopefully through—the kitchen door, rolls a few feet as he yells: "You know inside you that's commercialized derivative slop, Mordanda!"

And then releases all the force of anger a proudly ageing gob-artist can.

 


 

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Last edited by bananabadger; Feb 6th, 2021 at 07:50 PM.
  #25  
Old Feb 6th, 2021, 11:38 PM
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Gonna Find You
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The twin Spyders' dueling lute number really classed up the ambiance in the dank old sewer tunnels. Lofwyr was digging it. Imagine Spyder absolutely killing a solo and then Spyder picking it back up and obliterating it all over again! Things were going great and only getting better.

The skald wasn't even going to let the hot air that pink dork was blowing get him heated. Normally that kind of talk would have been instantly rewarded with a hand around the neck and a fist repeatedly smashing into the offending mouth. But, Lofwyr was still riding the high of Loviatar's loveslap and the Spyders' tasty licks. Besides, they had little dudes to reunite with. The time for beatings would come. He was keeping a running tally...

The skald was Perception: 21paying attention to where he stepped. He still remembered ruining the buckles on his favorite boots when he stepped in that ooze last year. A short walk lead to a small room and another closed door. This one without a door doll or brazen bees guarding it but, it was still a closed door. Lofwyr did not like closed doors. He knew for a fact that Jane didn't either. Who was trying to bar them from entry!? Unacceptable!

Lofwyr aimed to do something about it. "No doors stay closed long for a slasher." He confidently strode up to the wooden gate and, sensibly strength check: 14gave it a push to see if it was locked. If it was well, it's only wood. His axe was made for chopping.

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  #26  
Old Feb 7th, 2021, 06:28 AM
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Durza
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Artist credit: Dotswap
The mushroom obviously didn't want to be eaten. It wiggled and jiggled and tantrumed in the exact same way that Jane did whenever Durza tried to evict her from her robe. Technically speaking, Durza was the mushroom's mother, and mother knows what is best for her children, and right now what would be best would be to get eaten. But there was way too much going on right now to be able to deal with its behaviour and so Durza gave up and shoved it in a braid.

"Smells like the Corellon's Star inn up here," she opined, to nobody in particular. Amidst the racket of Jane's shrieking and spidering, Spyder and Spyder's lute shredding, Justin's inebriated havering, and Dripgar's whining, Durza saw Swolefwyr attempting to politely open a gate. That's not how you open a gate. She followed him to give an orcish assist.

"Come on Lofs, we're M/M. We want to make an entrance, don't we? We want to rip that thing right off its hinges."



Action Block and Stat Block
Initiative:
Saving throws:
Free Action: Perception (7), History (15, with adv)
Move: To the gate
Action:
Help action to assist Lofwyr in opening the gate with excessive force, regardless of whether it is locked or not
Reaction:
Bonus Action:
Condition:
Concentrating:

 



Last edited by bothers; Feb 8th, 2021 at 11:19 AM.
  #27  
Old Feb 8th, 2021, 01:03 AM
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Did Dragar expect Justin to listen to his boring brain-drain droning on and on about his pathetic uninteresting life? Justin pouted woefully at the pathetic pink pissant Spyder anti-fan, lamenting his lack of life. His lip dribbled like a leaf blower and made farting noises, spittle splattering everywhere in the tiefling's general direction. He then wheezed in sarcastic laugh, like that dog that always went duck hunting back in the Golden Age of Family Consoles.

"PFFFFFTTTTTT! BOOHOO didja really exhpect me to wanna hear about yer shorry little brain-fartsh? Dontcha know it wuzzha a erotical- ...eshoterical- ...hishtorical questshun? HA! Haaaaa... No wonder Shpyder hatesh you... HEEE!"

Then all the confusing love triangle - square? - between the butt mushroom, Jane, Justin, his shrine wine, and Spyder, which looked like an exotic little mating ritual between cockatrices, except there were aboleths involved. In the end Justin tries to eat it with a modest helping of ancient libation and drow juju.

Then the eladrin followed behind going north, Perception: 16looking around at the sights in a mixture of wonder and wanting to vomit. "Ugh, that smell! Is that jusht me or does Dragar SHTINK!" He giggled. "Hey am I drunk or ish there really four of yous, Shpy?! Noish." Then they came upon a gate, which wasn't very interesting apart from the loud bang that came from somewhere beyond. Justin immediately put his index finger - the one sloshing his wine around - to his lips, took another swig, then said, "SSSHHHHhhhhH! Shumone's banging in there..." Another giggle, which continued even when he turned himself indivisivisible.

Justin's Mechanics
Free Action: Dexie Checks for mushroom molar mashing:
Dice straight Dex, with Inspiration:
1d20+3 (4)+3 Total = 7
1d8t 3 Running Total = 10
Does the wine Help?
Bonus Action:
Move:
Action: Will wait for Lofwyr to open door before casting Invisibility on himself.
More Movement:
Reaction: AoO
Condition:
Concentrating:

Stat Block
 
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Last edited by ElderOblex; Feb 8th, 2021 at 01:04 AM.
  #28  
Old Feb 8th, 2021, 08:21 AM
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Dagger Jane, Eladrin Bard/Sorcerer
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Jane recognizes the mirroring of Spyder. This is a spell she can do herself. She has only ever used it in combat, to make an extra Jane that the bad guys can flay while she laughs and presents her middle finger for them to study. She has only ever used it on herself. But now she wonders: If she set aside a little magical power, and tried really hard, could she cast this spell on Spyder, when they go on stage at the Battle of the Bards? The magic of the double-lute solo, two Spyders in double counterpoint, achieving intervals and harmonic juxtapositions that one lone Spyder could not physically accomplish could not be denied. If they let this double Spyder loose, and the rest of them just played backup stuff for eight bars or so, or even in addition played a little quieter, or even -- even just STFU for eight bars... would the effect not be stunning?

Jane and harsh brutal reality are not friends. Most days they're not even acquaintances. Most days Jane and harsh brutal reality are separated by a thick sturdy veil of narcissism and denial. But. Here is the harsh brutal reality that has been nipping at the heels of Jane's awareness for the last 24 hours or so, nipping with the teeth of circumstances and undeniable fact:

Their band, Minstrel/Maxtrel, is not that great.

They are great in the sense of friends. And great in the sense of adventurers. They are great in the sense of love and the eternal bonds they share, forged in the fires of rock and roll and hammered on the anvil of adversity. But. They are, musically, not that great. They have their fans, and their loyal booking agents. They can get gigs. But if they play to 150 people, they are breathless with success. If they get into the garbage time slot of the Battle of the Bards by representing the weakest region of the kingdom, an honor they won by beating a band full of children who were physically ill at the time, it is an unexpected boon.

Normally, Jane does not address these circumstances as real, because she doesn't want to. She'd rather assume they are the very best band, and the only reason they have to keep blowing up ankhegs and dispelling wraiths is because they like it, and the only reason they play to small crowds in dive bars is because people can't recognize quality. But as she thinks about twinning Spyder, putting him on stage that way, and maybe not playing the loud saxophone for five seconds so his lute solo can be spotlighted, she understands, at the edge of her awareness, that maybe they could be better.

Spotlighting.

"Hey Justin, Justin," she says, watching Lofwyr and Durza rip the gate apart like champions. "I know this is weird and I know that, like, we go all out, like it's our thing, we go hard, all the time, right? But what if, when we play, like one person went all out at a time. And what if when that one person was going all out the rest of us didn't go all out, just for that short period of time?"

Boom. She hears it somewhere in the sewer.

Though she is not a real spider, Dagger Jane has a sense that somewhere in this sewer, there are bandies in trouble. As much as it pains her (and it pains her a lot) to turn off Spider Climb before its hour is up, Jane has an idea for how she can help. She concentrates very hard on the familiar shape of Baron de Boom's underpants. That aggressive emerald. That bold yellow. And she tries to reach out in the sewer to figure out where the Baron, and his underwear, might be.


Action Block and Stat Block
 

 
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Last edited by lostcheerio; Feb 8th, 2021 at 11:48 AM.
  #29  
Old Feb 8th, 2021, 03:04 PM
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When Hingalon found himself corrupted in the flesh, Hexed in the soul and throughly sucker-shattered by Mordanda's sudden attack, his first thought went to little Iggy (or, to be polite, Mr... Pudding? Puddings?... that can't be right). He had just told him to stay safe and then he had started dragging him to safety, only the kitchen was about the less safe place around! Luckily, when he turned he saw that his hand was utterly empty. Sticking to his best skill, Iggy had given him the slip and, well, slipped back into his hidey-hole. Good for him!

His second thought went to his former patient, soon to be former living being, the half-orkette. He had hoped to get some help from her against the evil warlock superstar, but again, she showed a lot of sense in scarpering as far away as possible, as quick as possibile. Oh well, one less thing to worry about! Although she could have tried to lend a hand... but then again, what can you expect, I can't blame her.

The third though was: Damn, my buddy's good. Like, check out that shockwave! This was some fine technique, some well-tuned magickal formas right there. Practice slow to play quick, as he always said. Fortunately, Hingalon had followed his two non-fighting companions cue and had backed away just enough to escape the spell's radius.

The fourth though was a direct follow-up. Hitting her as hard and brutally as possible, that was an idea. Sleep, Fear and other incapacitating spells are nice and all, but when the game gets hard... it's time to hit hard and whittle those hit points down! What are 'hip points', by the way? Something about the health of the... pelvis?!? Everybody says that, but nobody really knows what it means.

Stepping forward among the debris, he called. "Hey! Seriously? ...A drum machine? You know what that means? It means that you can't keep time, everybody knows that! What's next, Mordenkainen's fabled Mic of Auto-tuning? Ablethon the Ancient's Endless Tape of We-can-record-ten-takes-and-then-splice-together-the-good-parts? Let me guess, you've already using that?"

This display of braggadocio, to be fair, was quite unusual for the halfling, who preferred a silent approach or, perhaps, a brooding and dark malediction here and there. Its purpose, in fact, was to Mantle of Inspirationencourage and energize his companions, a goal which he accomplished, judging by the smirk rippling on the baron's lips.

The time for talking over, Hingalon gathered his power and once again conjured a might Shatter focused right in Mordanda's posh face. KA-BLAMMO!

Hingalon's OOC and Actions
OOC: I assume Mordanda has been pushed back by the Baron's attack, giving me plenty of space to focus Shatter on Mordanda (it's a 10-foot radius sphere, and she should've been pushed back exactly 10 feet). In any case, as long as they're not exactly right next to each other, it would be pretty easy to exclude BdB from the area of effect. Right? In case let me know

Saving throws:
Free Action:
Move: out of the way of the baron's spell
Action: Shatter on Mordanda -- 13 damage; 15 CON save for half
Reaction:
Bonus Action: Mantle of Inspiration (+5 HP to everybody, NPCs included)
Condition:
Concentrating:


 
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  #30  
Old Feb 8th, 2021, 05:09 PM
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Memory Durza, when Jane casts SEND (a spell she absolutely does not know) to Dergu Dera, out loud, in front of you, and then follows up with the charades version of an emoji note, you have a sudden flash of memory:

LAST NIGHT! At the crappy bar, the second bar, you can't remember the name. Not important. You were in the VIP room, and you got a SENDING STONE message from Dergu. (Your half of the Sending Stone pair you share with your brother, you hope, will show up if you ever find your stuff from last night...)

BACK WITH JANE! THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT! She got a daisy tattoo! MAGIC NIGHT! Held hands! TALKED!!!!! SHE WANTS TO GO SLOW. OKAY WITH YOU??????

Jane and Dergu. OH dear. Your friend has seduced Dergu, broken his lawyer heart, informed him he is "not even a real orc," stolen his wallet, used his sending stone to prank-message a succubus, contracted with a hag to subtract ten years from his lifespan, trashed his apartment, pooped in his coffee pot, and turned him teal. He is STILL teal. Even his SENDS sound teal.

Also, you could see Jane across the room, breaking Pachinko machines, so it must have been a different magical night? Also, while it is true that DURGU is the orcish word for Daisy, and so thus phonetically close enough to Dergu to make a daisy tattoo a little bit adorable, Jane has no tats. As much as she might like being punctured over and over by needles, she would never be able to sit still long enough for a coherent picture to emerge, Jane's idea of a perfect tattoo experience would be cantering in fast circles while the tat artist shot ink-loaded needles at her from a drunken Brogun.

But hey, you are not one to impose your will. You SENT back to your dear brother: "I support yer poor decisions while still bein' critical of 'em."


Mushrooms, Gratuitous Violence, and Th-Underpants
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Justin and Lofwyr, you have about had all the Dragar you can hold for one lifetime. Meh. AFTER you beat him at BotB, THEN maybe Spyders will let you end him, or at least bang his smug face into pink jam. You hope?

Jane, you suddenly and briefly understand it is highly unlikely that M/M could beat Dragar's band---YOU WILL NOT dignify them with even a SLASH FREE MM. They swap names SO much; they used to called Maroon 5 because they are a quintet reddishy teiflings--- anyway, his band's inoffensive bland pop sound pleases multitudes. They are perfect BACKGROUND music. No one says I HATE THAT TURN IT OFF, but that's because it's easy to not notice it is on. M/M is SO much more innovative, and your coterie of fans may be small, but they are RABID. Still, it is sad that Lofwyr almost never crowdsurfs because the moshpit at your gigs is usually three guys that would collapse under his big form. Spyders are the only one of you who are a pure musician, and you all play over them and each other and mill around and stuff explodes and ---

What IF you let Spyders do a duo-solo? What IF you PLAYED YOUR MUSIC the way you FOUGHT, as a true team, attention and heals turning to whoever needs it, that feeling that if one of you is injured you ALL are, as a collective, not getting in the way of each other's AoE's, letting your friends have room to cast. You say all this to the drunkest slasher you can find (hint: Justin. It's Justin.) because hopefully he will fall asleep and forget your crazy revelation before any actual learning or growth has to occur and you can play your sax REALLY LOUD ALL THE TIME WHILE PRANCING AS THE ABOLE---GODS INTENDED.

But you did say it. It's out there. What. IF.

Meanwhile. The Mushrooms absolutely refuse to be eaten by anyone, with or without guidance or wine or helpful friends jamming them at your mouth hole. Durza, you are a person---half-person? Orcson?---who can talk to plants. You kinda have a feel for these things. When you picked this thing and put it in your bag, it was wholly inert. But it emphatically did not want to go in your mouth or be chewed or swallowed by your body. Once in your braid, it jerks and twitches, contending with a dirty brown rat who immediately tries to eat it, and a much more fastidious and empathetic gray-brown rat who makes the dirty one desist. Even after Rita calls off Bobby, the mushroom is doing things. You feel the little mycelial threads pushing away from your scalp, your roots and live follicles, down lower into the braid. There, the mushroom settles. It likes it down at the ends of your hair. Hrm.

Lofwyr and Durza, you have no idea that your littles are peril, so it feels to you as if there has not been enough gratuitous violence yet today. Also? The two of you have had about enough DOORS blocking you. This wooden guy takes the brunt of these feelings in his wooden shorts. He pretty much explodes with a sound like a thousand thunder-cloud banging together. Or---wait. Sure, the door is kindling, but you are Bards. Thunder-Magic is your purview. That's a fight. North of you. A very. Loud. Fight.

right-aligned image
Jane, you lock onto the idea of those Al-Mi'raj boxers. It's weird. And wrong. You get two pulsing signals of underpantsness! ARE THERE TWO BARONS? Well, there are two Spyders. So, maybe, sure, why not. Both Barons are firmly, resolutely north, and a little east. Maybe only sixty or seventy-five feet away, if you could go straight there? You cannot.

Through the shattered remains of the former door, you all see a dry tunnel leading east. There is a turn that goes south, and a little farther on, a turn that goes north. You hear the faint sounds of EDM. Has the Baron found a rave? WHY DO YOU HAVE NO GLOW STICKS? Oh wait, Justin has crystals...Yes, they have retained their warmth and glow. Rave-tastic! But you do not want to glow just now. You slur a few arcane words, gesture, and shimmer away! INVISISIBUBBLE!


Mordanda v/s TTT
Baron, you bring the BOOM. Bugbear? Don't care. IT TIME TO GET LOUD! But she shrugs a bunch of your noise away. Years! Decades? CENTURIES? of Raves have cooked her ears. And as soon as your damage lands, she is reacting, pressing another button on the synth and singing in a17 dam, or half with 14 dex save Hellish, Hellish rebuke of your power:

I got this feeling when your thunder came and blew me down,
I crash my fire into your face, I watch, I let it burn
I'll put your Hin into a pot and cook it in my lair
I crash my fire into your face,
I don't care, I love it!


Baron, Hingalon's mantle of inspiration spreads over you both. It is BALM, and also the most clothes you have had on in DAYS.

Hinglon, you feel the Hex slide off you sideways. The Baron has broken her concentration! You roll in beside your friend and BLAMMO, release a smaller, sound-light shatter that she cannot shrug away.

14 dam or 7 with 14 con saveShe shatters back! adding back in the first tune in a hideous EDM Glee-Style MASH-UP.
Am I getting too loud?
Oh no no am I getting in your head?




OOC
 

Last edited by Fillyjonk; Feb 8th, 2021 at 05:13 PM.
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