A couple of scenes from Fen's friendship with Ward that I had in mind and finally got down.
Three Years Ago
Tekla hovered in the doorway to the kitchen, a cup of coffee in one hand and a look of mild concern on her face. Her Granbull, Boots, sat at her feet, unmoving except for his eyes as he watched Fen sulk back and forth from her room to various parts of the house, looking for shoes, backpack, lunch.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Tekla asked finally. Fen’s shoulders instinctively shot up around her ears and she scowled. She was well aware of what Tekla thought of her dropping out of school. “You can still go back, the term only started a couple of days ago.”
“Yeah, I’m sure mom,” Fen said. The words hitched in her throat and she winced… She sounded so angry, Tekla didn’t deserve that. Ashamed, she grabbed her board from its place next to the door and bolted.
The wheels hit the ground with a satisfying clatter, and Fen hopped on, pushing off the ground to gather speed. Her silvery hair, about shoulder length, streamed behind her. As she pulled away from home, she promised herself she would apologize when she returned from her shift. Really, she mostly took the job to give Tekla and her new fiance space. And she needed something… anything to do.
She arrived at the I remember Xyza mentioning that there is no Pokemart in this world... forgive me for using it anyways to avoid coming up with a grocery store name!Pokemart on time for once and pulled on her standard issue cap as she entered through the back. Whoever had been on shift before her had left the cart of products tucked back against the wall near the big two-way doors. She clocked in and pushed the cart out to the cereal aisle to unpack.
Fen slumped down in her chair in the breakroom. It was freezing in the back; the air conditioner was, for some reason, aimed directly at the small table and plastic chairs provided to employees. She pulled the hood of her sweater up over her head and stared at the same panel of her comic that she had been for the last fifteen minutes. One of her coworkers slouched by. He was tall, with long arms and a mop of dark hair that flopped over his eyes. A pokemon she had never seen before floated ghoulishly above his shoulder as he shrugged on his jacket. As she looked, the pokemon turned its face towards her, a skull with glowing red eyes.
Fen blinked at it.
The pokemon blinked back.
Blushing, Fen looked back down at her comic for a moment. When she looked back up, the guy and his pokemon had disappeared out the back door, leaving it to slam behind them.
The girl sitting across from her snorted and Fen looked over, alarmed. “He’s such a creep,” the girl said. Fen blinked at her, lowering the comic a fraction of an inch. “His pokemon is always staring at everyone… Like, why doesn’t he have some control over it? I mean, jeez.”
Fen made a noncommittal sound.
“Anyways, just thought I would warn you. You know, girl to girl,” the other girl said. She sighed and pushed back her chair. “Ugh, that’s my fifteen I guess. See you out there.” Fen waved and watched her disappear back out onto the floor.
Ranger Dan
A moment later, the back door opened again and he came back in. He didn’t bother holding the door open for his pokemon, which phased through the now-closed door behind him. When he turned, he caught Fen’s eye and smiled. Fen thought it seemed like a pretty normal smile, like a smile you might give a coworker you hadn’t met before. She watched him as he approached her, taking off his jacket. Once it was off, he offered it to her.
“First day, huh?” he said. He had a low, monotonous voice. Fen nodded and looked at the jacket without taking it. She noticed that he had dark hair on his arms and her brain asked, I wonder if it’s soft? Fen frowned.
“Uh, yeah,” she said.
“Well, you can borrow this if you’re not done with lunch yet. They always crank the AC back here. I think they think if it sucks back here we’ll take shorter breaks.”
Fen took the jacket and hesitantly draped it over her shoulders. He was tall but skinny, so it wasn’t far from a good fit on her. She noticed it smelled a little like campfire, and a little musky. Without his jacket on, she could see his nametag. “Thanks, Ward,” she said.
“No problem,” he replied. He hesitated for a moment and then pointed at the comic book. “Are you reading Ranger Dan?” She clutched the slim volume to her chest defensively.
“Yeah,” she said, with a small frown. “It’s got levels, okay?”
He laughed and raised his hands in surrender. “Woah, no judgment. I just didn’t peg you as the type.”
“What type did you peg me as?” Fen asked, her shoulders dropping as the tension released from them.
Ward hitched one shoulder in a shrug. “I dunno, maybe more cynical than that kind of stuff,” he replied.
“I happen to be an optimist.”
“Uh-huh, yeah, me too.”
The manager stuck her head in the back, looking harried. “Ward! Are you coming? Elliot is waiting for his break.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ward said, completely unhurried. He waved a lazy hand in Fen’s direction and slouched out to the floor.
Six months later
The hard slats of the bench dug into Fen’s back, but she didn’t notice. This bench was long forgotten--presumably it had been built for employees to use, but since it was hidden around the corner from the dumpsters not many people knew about it, or maybe they just couldn’t stand the smell.
Fen had her knees pulled up under her chin and was staring down at a piece of chewed gum on the ground. She had fought with Tekla in the morning again and was furious with herself, but she couldn’t seem to stop. The words were playing over and over again in her mind, occasionally interspersed with memories of her mother chiding the two of them to stop bickering…
As enthralled in her pity party as she was, she didn’t notice Ward come around the corner. In the months since she’d started at Pokemart, she had discovered that they read a lot of the same books, that he wasn’t much older than she was but had been skating twice as long, that he was empathetic and definitely not a creep, and that his pokemon’s name was Mort, short for Mordecai. Of course, she developed an agonizing crush on any guy with a skateboard--the reason she started skating, and her fatal flaw--and he was no exception.
“Hey,” he said, in his typical not unfriendly but cool way. He sat down on the bench next to her and the slats creaked and shifted.
“Hey,” Fen replied. It was almost too much to see him. They sat in silence for a moment. Ward tapped a cigarette out of its carton but didn’t light it. Instead, he stuck it behind his ear.
Fen’s heart broke for how cool he was being, how much she wanted him and how little she felt she deserved his attention.
After a prolonged silence, Ward leaned back with his arms behind his head and said, “You okay?”
Fen nodded, furious and not trusting herself to speak. Damn him! He looked so good.
Younger Fen
A few moments passed. Fen stared at the piece of gum, trying to ignore the warring feelings of shame, anger, disappointment, and inappropriately timed desire circulating the gutter of her brain. Ward stared up at a cloud lazily passing over the sun.
Fen sniffed. Was she crying? She reached up and touched her cheek. Damn!
Ward still didn’t say anything, but she felt the weight of his arm rest on her shoulders. She buried her face in her knees. After a few breaths she looked up and said, “I miss my mom. I’m not… I’m not a good person without her. I’m not ready to… to grow up, I still need her and she…” Fen choked.
She allowed Ward to pull her in a little closer, so she was curled against him under his arm. “Well,” he said evenly. She would have thought he was choosing his words carefully if didn’t always speak so slowly. “There’s not really good or bad, there’s just who you are. Whatever happened, anyone who knows you knows you mean well.”
There was another long pause where the only sound was Fen’s sniffling. After a moment, she felt Ward move off the bench and crouch down in front of her. His hands wrapped around hers and he gently pulled them away from her face so she was looking directly into his sleepy eyes. “You have a big heart, Fendel, don’t beat yourself up for showing it.”
Fen let out a barking sound somewhere between a laugh and sob. Without thinking, she lurched forward until her lips crashed into Ward’s, almost knocking him off balance. His hands settled on her shoulders as she reached for his face, feeling the rough stubble under her fingertips. It took her a moment to realize that he was pushing her away.
“I’m sorry, Fen,” he said quietly, once Fen had pulled back. She thought she could hear pity in his voice and it was enough to know where the conversation was headed. Fen sprang to her feet.
“No, no, I’m sorry,” Fen said hastily, backing away.
“It’s okay, I just don’t think--”
“No, I know! I know!” Her own voice was ringing loudly in her ears. “I’m like a sister, right? I know.”
“Let me just ex--”
“You don’t have to say anything, I know! Okay. Well.” Ward took a step towards her and she stumbled back another foot. “You don’t have to tell me. I can’t--I don’t want--” She huffed an exasperated, distraught sigh and threw her arms out in a gesture of defeat. “Let’s talk later.”
“Yeah, okay.” It was the first time she had ever seen him look unsure, the cherry on the crap sundae she had made for herself. She turned on her heel and fled.
Later that night
Fen lay on her bed staring at the little glow-in-the-dark plastic stars her mom had stuck there when they first moved in. Duck was nestled on her pillow in the space between her shoulder and her neck. She could feel his breath every few seconds, but it barely registered. It was dark in the room, and she was supposed to be sleeping so she could wake up and stock shelves at 6am the next morning, but instead she was thinking about trying to kiss Ward, replaying the moment over and over in a masochistic loop.
Her only real friend after the people she’d known from Lythia stopped calling because she stopped answering.
Her phone buzzed and she reached for it without moving her head, not wanting to disturb Duck. The screen light was harsh on her eyes and she blinked at the message.
Ward: watched elliot eat it off the half pipe after work. busted lip needed three stitches classic whammy
Fen snorted. Elliot was the most pretentious skater she had ever met and mostly hung around to show off the expensive boards his parents bought for him. He was the exception that proved her skater-boy-crush rule. She paused, chewing on her lip. At least Ward was talking to her.
Fen: not the future tony talonflame!!
Ward: the very same. be surprised if we see him again any time soon
Not sure what to say, Fen rested her phone on her stomach, her fingers drumming on the plastic case until it vibrated again.
Ward: so
She watched as the three dots appeared at the bottom of the screen. Typing, not typing, typing again. After watching those dots for a minute, she sighed.
Fen: i’m sorry
Again, the dots appeared, but this time a message followed.
Ward: dont be sorry. u ok?
Fen: are you?
Ward: i want to still be friends, so, i think so.
Fen: me too… i messed everything up. not to be that guy who blames everything on having a dead mom but… my mom is dead
Fen: you make me feel not alone about it
Ward: happy to be of service…
Ward: not to be that guy but… you are like a sister
Fen took a deep breath to loosen the knot in her chest and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands.
Fen: friends?
Ward: friends.
Ward: i’m still never reading ranger dan.
Ward
Last year
Fen tossed her work cap and backpack into the grass next to Duck and kicked her board towards the pavement. It was spring, nice out, and the park was loud with the sounds of kids screaming, clattering wheels, people talking.
As she approached, she watched Ward land a frontside kickflip.
“Nice one!” she called, drawing his attention. He kicked the board up into his hand and waved, then scrubbed a hand through his already scruffy hair, a gesture which was once devastating, but now familiar.
They skated for half an hour, teasing and coaching each other through moves until they got tired and collapsed on the grass, laying on their backs.
“Brought your copy of Ranger Dan back,” Ward said once they’d caught their breath.
“What’d you think?”
“His twin being a Ditto the whole time was idiotic. Drivel.”
Fen laughed. “Nu-uh, it’s meta commentary on the genre. It’s ironic. It’s genius.”
She felt rather than saw Ward roll his eyes. “Sure it is. Smoke?” he asked.
Fen shook her head. “Duck doesn’t like it when I smoke,” she replied. Unable to help herself, she propped herself up on one elbow and gave him a withering look. “You shouldn’t either.”
Ward stuck his lighter back into the pocket of his jeans. “Yeah, you’re right, Fendel,” he said with a sigh, but the cigarette went behind his ear, likely to be smoked later.
“I have something to tell you,” she said, after a while of enjoying the sun in silence. In typical Ward fashion, he said nothing, waiting. “I quit Pokemart.”
“Dude, finally.”
“I’m going back to school.”
Ward shifted so he was upright on one elbow facing her with his usual slow smile. “‘Bout time you grew some balls,” he said.
Fen flicked a few blades of grass at his face. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have quit if you didn’t leave first. You left me alone with Elliot and Amanda and they’re the worst,” she griped.
“Really though, I’m proud of you, kid,” he said, brushing bits of grass out of his hair.
“Yeah, I’m proud of you too, old man,” she said, but she didn't bother to hide the grin on her face.