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  #181  
Old Mar 29th, 2023, 06:47 PM
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Stew
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As the burning circle around him dissipates, the singed bard steps back through the portal into the dragon's chamber. Their enemy is beset on all sides by Stew's allies. But most importantly, Beavis the Barrel is finally in position to deliver its mystery payload. "Beavis, pour your contents on the dragon's head!"

The hovering barrel, obedient and fearless in the face of the impending inferno, floats five feet above Tuckerthranx. Once in place, it tilts quickly upside down. The mix of reagents and ingredients that go into the Red Claw brew cascades down onto the dragon's head.

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A thought occurs to Stew as he watches his brave companions surround the terrifying dragon, and he confers quickly with Shear via their mental link. With a satisfied nod, he beings to play a complex series of arpeggiated chords on his cittern. He sings above the intricate Sampled heavily from "Thick as a Brick" by Jethro Tullmelody,


"Your form's an illusion so don't trust your eyes.
The shell you inhabit is just a disguise.
In a flash you will have a more powerful skin
With a spell I will cast that will make your head spin.
And you'll lose your original shape
In a smoke cloud the color of grape.
While your best friends all wordlessly gape,
You turn into an ape."


Shear is obscured by billowing purple smoke that rises higher and higher before thinning and dissipating. Where the Hin once stood, there is now a hulking, musclebound ape. Because Stew believes in doing things with style, the ape's fur and skin are lovely shades of violet, and it sports a small green cap atop its pointy dome.

The spell complete, Stew slips once more out of the room and waits in the corridor.




 


stat block
character sheet
ac:15 hp:75/75 str:13 (+1) dex:14 (+2) con:16 (+3) int:9 (-1) will:12 (+1) cha:20 (+5)
passive perception:11
attacks: Melee +5, ranged/finesse +6, spell +9
spells known: 14
spell slots: 1 (4/4), 2 (4/4), 3 (3/3), 4 (3/3), 5 (2/2)
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Last edited by Yoshimi; Mar 29th, 2023 at 06:49 PM.
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  #182  
Old Apr 3rd, 2023, 09:51 AM
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Crimson ClawWhy did the halflings blades hurt in such an awful and unusual way?! It was like draconic high school all over again!! Tucker's head thrashed shaking away the haunting memories of school brought on from the psychic blades of Shear. Just in time for Beavis to unleash the worst celebration pour of all time! This wasn't the homecoming game! While Red Claw's profits were indeed soaring it wasn't time to celebrate in this manner!! The acid that poured from Beavis seared and ate away at the scales of the dragon in a way the lava never could.

Through desperate Legendary resistance (1 left)flapping of its wings the mighty dragon was able to shed the bulk of the acid off. Some damage was done, however it could have been far worse. The acid lay on the ground in a thin pool upon the heated stone of the volcano's floor. No sooner did Tucker rid himself of the acid did Stew finish his spell and the small halfling before him tripled in size and bulk - as well as gained a green hat!!

The vicious avian was quick to his feet and darted behind the dragon as if rushing upon the wind! ... Just as planned.

The room hidden away within the cove was dark and there was a sound of bubbling moving liquid of some sort. The light from the lava outside poured in offering Ace a slight glimpse into the room before he began his assualt. It was entirely taken up buy a three-tier fountain that flowed with molten golden liquid. The liquid poured from statues that loosely resembled Tuckerthrax if he were something else. A Tucker-themed mermaid - unusual. A tucker-themed siren - odd choice. As well as a tucker-themed giant koi fish. Each of them as unusual as the last and pouring the molten liquid into the fountain through various means.

Turning the Kenku struck into the flank of the dragon, tearing into scale and flesh alike. Then the dang ceiling exploded. A nearly invisible glyph lay scrawled in the ceiling, out of sight from the rushing monk and erupted into a massive well of fire the spilled out into the main area. Tuckerthrax let out a sinister laugh that let loose a small gout of flame signaling at the incoming fire. Cracks in the ground formed and toxic fumes filled the space quickly, choking the lungs and clouding view. Tucker was attempting to hide once more it seemed. Taking advantage of the explosion and smoke the tail of the dragon whipped forward and stuck soundly into the raging kenku!

Seeing the clouds begin to form Uzza did what any clever CIAO would - he made that dragon visible! A magical glow traced the outline of the red dragon like a neon light for a liquor store on Friday night. The mighty dragon burst forward from the clouds with a flap of its wings causing the smoke to swirl and the ground to pump out more to fill the displaced smoke. It landed mere feet from Uzza with a vicious twirl, turning towards the plume of smoke, and unleashed a wave of flames.

 
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  #183  
Old Apr 3rd, 2023, 09:04 PM
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UZZA
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"OOooOOoo, HERE COME TUCK!" Uzza laughed as the imposing red dragon launched himself from the cloud of poisonous gases and explosions to land mere inches away from the goliath. Normally the self-preservation would kick in when facing such a gargantuan predator; Uzza was no fool, and he knew to trust these instincts as part of the hunt or battle. But today, having been boosted so effectively by Stew's encouraging spell and having resisted the dragon's fearsome roar, Uzza was feeling extra cocky.

So he casually commanded Takhia to keep healing his friends, while Uzza himself faced the physically, mentally, and emotionally-damaged dragon. He also put on a look of concern as he gazed up at Tuck's horned snout.

"TUCK CAN TALK TO UZZA. TELL WHY TUCK INVESTED SO HEAVILY IN BOOZE BUSINESS. DADDY ISSUES?"

Though his body language suggested a vulnerability so unnervingly unnatural to a goliath, Uzza was ready to dodge away from Tuck's sharp claws and teeth. He held his wand in one hand, ready to cast his invisible barrier of protection against even that long, scaly tail.

It took a few seconds to register that there was no response from Takhia; no healing magic for his friends. Then Uzza realized what had happened. A thick nerve on his sizeable forehead twitched, and the grin that was still plastered on his face took on a more... ominous... pallor.

"YA DUN GOOF'D NOW, KID!"


 
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  #184  
Old Apr 7th, 2023, 12:24 PM
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Shear Lucc
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Name: Shear Lucc
 


 

 



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It was a mighty feeling to expand. To grow and change perspective on the world and meet the dragon's gaze eye to eye without straining his neck. Shear-Kong grinned. His laugh wheezed out with a mocking only the vocal cords of an ape are truly able to make. And then there were explosions and choking gas and terrible dragonfire. The explosion left a patch of fur singed away and peeled back layers of skin. The dragon's breath washed over him like a barber's razor, leaving barely a few patches of fur left. The delightful green hat was singed to a crisp and now sat forlornly smoking atop the crest of the giant ape barbarian's head.

Naked, undeterred and unafraid, Shear-Kong surged from the cloud of poisonous fumes with a mighty roar, a curl of smoke trailing from the still steaming cap. Beast Lucc's fists pummelled where the faerie fire outlined Tucker's smug snout. The dragon absorbed the first blow fairly well. The second blow landed with a wet crack as the dragon's nasal bone began to cave beneath the brutality.

Face to face as he was with Big Red, Shear could see the fear in the wyrm's eyes. It wanted no part of this brawl. Battering Shear down with a mighty flap of its wings, the giant ape landed heavily on his back flailing about with his trunk-like arms. Guided not by luck but by the shear creative energies instilled in him by Stew's magical song, Shear's mighty fist connected with a thuderous explosion right in Tucker's bread basket as the wyrm winged its way upwards. Lying flat on his back staring upwards, another apish laugh emerged from Shear-Kong's belly.
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  #185  
Old Apr 10th, 2023, 09:42 PM
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Ace
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As Ace leaped over the dragon's tail and rushed into the guarded passage for another flanking assault, his primal senses allowed him to react to several things at once. The magical phenomenon which Shear and Uzza had tried to fashion into the most iconic dancing barrel that had ever existed spilled out its contents all over Tuckerthranxx, and as it began pooling right into Ace's path, his winged boots began to leave the floor behind once more as he deftly avoided the acidic brew that had seared the red dragon quite evidently.

Of course Shear's transformation into an equally iconic, giant beast came to Ace's attention as well, but more important was the haphazard tail that swung out to block the kenku from reaching his destination. And in this the utterly instinctive warrior smelled the trap. This particular swipe of the tail had been nothing but a feint. Tucker actually wanted him to fly into that passage, and although Ace could no longer stop his momentum and thus arrived just where the dragon had wanted him, all of his senses were on the highest alert as Ace shouted his challenge and once more carved through the dragon's scales with his extended claws. Then the trap was set off.

With a mere glance Ace had already scanned the hidden room behind the tunnel with its fountain of liquid gold, but that's not where the danger awaited. Like the avian that he was, Ace's snapped upward at the very last moment where he saw a nova of fire erupt and expand out in his direction, accompanied by Tuckerthranxx's sinister laugh. Still feeling the wind in his step, Ace was already in motion to propel back out of the small passage to avoid the flames when the red dragon tried to do his best to finish off the primal brawler with his trap. The ground broke open and once more forced the kenku to breathe in noxious fumes, and the following swipe of the dragon's tail was a feint no more as this time the brewery's master tried to intercept Ace's flight path for real. But this was Ace. The primal brawler was at the height of his prowess, and thus he overcame the three-pronged assault.

Whatever had finally caused the explosion of flame from the tunnel, Ace ended up reacting too swiftly and used Uzza's magical boots to ride the heated wave of air in front of the explosion to escape the flames by the nick of his feathers. While Tucker's massive tail swung true and nearly threw Ace back into the fire that he so evasively avoided, the goliath's artistry once more provided the solution as Takhia's ward turned the perfect hit into nothing more than a glancing blow, and Ace was merely rattled as he left the flames behind and came out unharmed. It had been an exceptional feat of agility, and the kenku would have let out a caw if the air hadn't turned just as toxic as the puddle on the floor that he could see no longer.

Although the noxious fumes invaded Ace's lungs and that didn't feel good at all, before the area was entirely obfuscated by the fumes, Uzza came to the aid with one further trick. The primal warrior would have likely lost track of Tucker when he was enclosed by the smoke that had become unavoidable after so deftly escaping the bout of flame, but the genius artificer magically marked the enormous dragon for slaughter and highlighted Tucker's outline. As the dragon took off with a beat of his mighty wings, Ace found an opportunity to swipe after him with his claws once more. Only, he could feel how the poison in the air was making him sluggish and slow, and despite Uzza's assist, Ace ended up just a moment too late to catch up with his foe. While Ace miserably coughed, he just saw Tucker land and turn around with an open maw before the fumes billowed up further and finally took the rest of his sight.

But even with his primal senses shut down by the red dragon's volcanic lair, Ace knew exactly what would come next. If Beavis and Shearkong were utterly iconic, then so was a dragon's breath. The avian martial artist couldn't help but cough more as the antitoxin within his blood was temporarily overcome by the fumes, but he was already back into motion, literally stepping on what little wind there was in this enormous chamber as he braved the danger with the nerves of steel that only a hero possessed. Knowing full well that a sea of flame that he couldn't see was about to come right from the front, the instinctive warrior didn't try to hide in the tunnel that he had just left. Instead he flew straight ahead, blinded by smoke but determined to show why he had taken on the moniker of Ace.

Just as Ace lunged out of the smoke and was able to see his surroundings again, he was already greeted by an enormous swath of all-encompassing dragon flames. A lesser adventurer would have had no way to dodge the sea of fire that descended on the kenku and all of his allies in the vicinity. But Ace could. Having left behind the ground thanks to Uzza's boots, the avian warrior began to fly like a dart right in Tucker's direction, simultaneously veering off to the side to fly right to the edge of the dragon breath as it was headed his way. For those who could see this stunt instead of being blinded by smoke, Ace began to spin around his own axis like a gnomish drill, creating a torrent of bolstering air around himself as he dove toward the fire breath and skated along the edge of the flames in an unlikely display of mobility. But Ace had done it. Both his outermost feathers and the cloth around his hips ended up smoking and singed, but the kenku had genuinely come out unharmed after facing the dragon fire head-on.

As Ace stopped his spinning motion and righted his posture in his flying pursuit of Tuckerthranxx, he was much too focused on the foe in front of him to take note of the toll that his death-defying maneuver had taken. While Ace had managed to ward off most of the flames that he hadn't avoided, he had gotten quite the brush with the dragon's mighty flames after all, and Uzza's mechanical companion Takhia had ended up being fried to a crisp as she had stuck out from among Ace's dragon-leather belt. This meant that for the moment there would be no further magical wards coming from the goliath's creation, but the primal brawler was undeterred to dive back into the melee. Even though he still felt quite a bit sick from the fumes that he had been made to breathe in.

Veered off to the side as he was right now, Ace had just a second to observe as Uzza survived Tucker's blow with his tail, only to be reminded that a mighty kong had stepped into his lair and could not be ignored. As Shearkong battered the red dragon with massive blows, Tuckerthranxx fled up to the air. But that's where Ace already was, flying just like the rulers of the sky that his uncursed ancestors once had been. Only, he really had become quite sickened indeed, so when Ace returned the favor and intercepted Tucker's flight path with his claws, he could not muster the same force as before when his blows haplessly glanced off of the dragon's scales. A minor setback. His beady eyes shining, Ace could see the victory just ahead. Both his will and his body remained quite unbroken.
 
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  #186  
Old Apr 10th, 2023, 11:19 PM
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Stew
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Stew and Ace had come upon the gnome in the Cloud Giant's dungeon last year, during that whole unfortunate episode with the beanstalk. He was hanging by both arms from a pair of manacles, had very little meat on his bones worth considering, and was frothing mad. Or so the bard had thought at first. Once the grateful fellow had been released, all his wild babble about the wrath of Snuggi-F'tang the Corrupter of Lunch had proven to have some basis in reality, unfortunately for the smoking husk of a rat that happened to skitter across the floor at that moment.

Stew didn't know anything about any "Great Old Ones" but he did know useful magic when he saw it. It only took a small showing of interest for the prideful warlock to demonstrate part of his repertoire of spells. There was a small sticking point, however, as Stew could see right away that to employ such magic, one needed that connection to an otherworldly source. The kekwala stew chef was in no way interested in a pact with any sort of Lunch Corrupter. But this particular patron was so eager to have mayhem done in his name that a satisfactory deal was worked out. All Stew had to do was say that name when playing his cittern, and a destructive boon would be granted.

And so it was that in the magma-infused office of the CEO of Red Claw Industries, Stew stepped forth onto a rocky platform and strummed a gut-churningly discordant clashing of notes, shouting, "Snuggi-F'TANG!"

Sickly purple-white light illuminated the bard's eyes and coursed from his crest down to the spines on his tail, and two jagged, seething bolts arced forth from his cittern. One shot past the hovering dragon, but the other struck the chest of the monster with a muffled explosion, sending smaller tendrils of energy spreading like a web across the torso of the dragon before dissipating in acrid smoke.

"Beavis," squeaked Stew, then cleared his throat. "BEAVIS. Attack!" Immediately the trusty beer barrel sailed toward the reeling Tuckerthranx, accelerating on its implacable trajectory across the chamber and smashing into the dragon.

Hissing in satisfaction, Stew quietly retreated back out of the chamber.



 


stat block
character sheet
ac:15 hp:75/75 str:13 (+1) dex:14 (+2) con:16 (+3) int:9 (-1) will:12 (+1) cha:20 (+5)
passive perception:11
attacks: Melee +5, ranged/finesse +6, spell +9
spells known: 14
spell slots: 1 (4/4), 2 (4/4), 3 (3/3), 4 (3/3), 5 (2/2)
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  #187  
Old Apr 13th, 2023, 08:42 AM
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Crimson ClawWorn leathery wings carried a sense of fatigue with each flap needed to keep the mighty beast aloft in the air. The request for a chat was put on hold as a giant ape fist punched the dragon mid-retreat. Tuckerthrax' roars of pain were sharp as the battle has had its wear on the owner of the business.

"I- I re- REFUSE!" the dragon bellowed feeling the blows of Ace glance off his scales "I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!" Stronger beats of leathery wings carried the dragon higher and higher still. Flames welled once more in his throat accompanied by a furious growl.

"This is MY business! MY hard work! MY genius that has launched Red Claw onto a regional stage!
SOON! The whole WORLD will know of its grandeur!!

You may have won this bout but I will return! Stronger, wiser! Ready to deal with your tricks and your monkey too!"


The beats of its wing carried it further and further above until it reached optimal distance. Tucker craned his head upwards towards the opening at the top of the volcano and let the fires well in his throat. Then with a quick swing of his elongated neck, the dragon looked down and unleashed yet another wave of flames upon those below.

Ace and Beavis took the brunt of the flames. Uzza was prepared and positioned partially behind a pillar. Stew safe from the flames within the cave, yet could feel the heat wash over the entrance. And Shear-Kong, standing beneath the floating barrel, mostly protected by its majestic wooden frame.

Not awaiting to see who remained, the dragon continued its ascent.

 
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Last edited by Retry; Apr 13th, 2023 at 08:42 AM.
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  #188  
Old Apr 15th, 2023, 08:42 AM
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UZZA
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Uzza managed to avoid the dragon's lashing tail when it tried to smash him with it, but a powerful flapping of Tuck's wings brought even the tall goliath down to his knees. That wasn't the worst of it though. Tuck was on the initial stages of grief.

"I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!"

Classic denial.


Furious growling, fire breathing?

Anger.

Uzza was thankfully behind the pillar, and had a natural shield against that breath of the dragon that felt like he was bread baking in a hot oven. It only lasted for a few heartbeats, but already the newly-minted CIAO knew he couldn't take a direct hit of that heat and not fall.

But Uzza need not worry, since Tuck had his tail tucked between his scaly legs. He was flying away!

"BÜÜ KhÖDÖKhStay right there*, YOU-"

The caster whipped his arcane firearm - the weirwood wand he used as a focus - out and sent two bolts of eldritch energy at Tuck, but it probably did little more than an annoying poke, no thanks to the dragon's thick scaly haunch-butt-hide.

"DOKhOINOT IDEAL*!!!"


 
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  #189  
Old Apr 15th, 2023, 07:43 PM
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Shear Lucc
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Name: Shear Lucc
 


 

 



Perhaps Shear should not have laughed. If you laugh at a coward or mock a worm, they will find a way to spit in your face or stab you in the back before they flee. Tucker was both a coward and a wyrm and spit he did. One last gout of deadly dragonfire washed over the group before Tucker flew higher towards his escape.

The already furless and blistered skin of Shear-Kong bubbled and hissed, peeled back until Shear Lucc emerged from the simian form, a tiny bundle amidst a boiling puddle of gorilla glue. Shear felt his true flesh blister as the blazing remains of Stew's living bucket tumbled down towards him.

"Stewie! Give me one more shot at this!" he called out. His confidence in Stew's magic was unshakeable. He did not flinch, but instead readied himself to catch the burning remains of Beavis.

The familiar tingle of magic crawled up Shear's spine. The huge tumbling barrel became smaller and smaller as Shear stretched out once more into the mighty form of Shear-Kong. A freshly made green cap sat perched on his head. Beast Shear was already moving before he plucked the barrel from the air.

The hops on the ape were reality-defying given its gigantic size. It appeared as if the gorilla-shaped rogue had taken flight, clutching the blazing barrel in one of his terrifyingly huge mits. The giant ape landed on the wall of the caverns and somehow found purchase with its mighty prehensile toes, caught a tiny ledge with his outstretched ten-foot-long arm and pulled himself upwards as though he were an imaginary character from some yet-to-be-invented two-dimensional platform jumping game. Tucking his knees up under his chin, in perfect synch with the upward thrust of his huge body, Shear-Kong's mighty toes gripped every crack and crevice of the wall once more to give one last death-defying jump up into the air, out into open space.

His arm flew back only to rocket the barrel forward like a slingshot... Time slowed... Shear Kong tumbled back towards the ground. The thought of his back snapping upon impact with the cavern floor never even flitted across his mind. His eyes were laser-focused on the fiery arc of the spinning barrel...

Tucker must have heard it. Whoof! Whoof! Whoof! The wyrm turned his head back just in time to see the firey missile before it smashed into its wing, tearing through the webbing and snapping clean through bone. Shrapnel buried itself in Tucker astonished face and punctured an eye. Tuckerthanxx, Red Claw Business entrepreneur, then fell. And the unmistakable wheezing laughter that only an ape can quite muster echoed through Tucker's lair for a moment. It was a brief moment until the air was knocked clean from his lungs and Shear Kong's ribs shattered the moment he landed back flat on the uncompromising stone.
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Last edited by jbear; Apr 15th, 2023 at 08:38 PM.
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  #190  
Old Apr 18th, 2023, 08:32 PM
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UZZA
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What was the old proverb? Uzza tried to recall it as he watched Shear-Kong 2.0 pitch Beavis at the fleeing Tuck, smashing his wing and his very life to smithereens. While in mid-air.

"Ted teneg baikh, tusmaa unadag"

The dumber they are, the harder they fall. Or something like that.

And Tuck fell. From a hundred feet. Uzza leaned on the pillar nonchalantly, grinning widely as the big red dragon brewer, exploder of mankind, fell on the dragon-emblemed floor with a big, wet, splat-thud. Uzza chuckled from seeing Tuck still sparkling with the faerie glitter he still was concentrating on, then willed it to dissipate.

He needn't have worried about Tuck ever getting away. He needn't have worried about not ever discovering the secret to the Red Claw booze. He knew he could count on his friends, through thick and thin, in business and in booming.

Always.

"AAAAAAHHHH SHEARLUCC YOU BEAUTIFUL BEAST!!! HA-HAAAH!"

Uzza bellowed with a loud laugh as the giant ape-hin slammed down on the floor from his spectacular leap and feat of heroism. "WAS SOME BARREL TOSS OLD BOY! HOHO!" The goliath patted his black furry friend hard on the haunch as he made his way towards the dragon's corpse. He looked towards the doorway from which they all came from, where his kekwala friend would be eager to get started... utilizing... Tuck to his fullest potential.

"STEW! BETTER START WITH THIS ONE, BEFORE HE TURN COLD! SAVE UZZA SCALES AND TEETH!"

With that, the goliath set about checking the dead half-dragons for loot, and taking a thorough tour of this whole operation.

"SHEAR-KONG! ACE, YOU FABULOUS FLYING FEATHERY FRIEND! LET US GO! UZZA THINK STEW WANT SOME... PRIVACY..."


 
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Last edited by ElderOblex; Apr 18th, 2023 at 08:33 PM.
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  #191  
Old Apr 18th, 2023, 10:00 PM
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Stew
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It was the hearty, triumphant shouts of Uzza that broke Stew from the transfixed stupor in which the kekwala had watched the corpse of a Lord of Dragonkin tumble from on high to land in a wreck of barrel staves on the cave floor.

"BETTER START WITH THIS ONE, BEFORE HE TURN COLD!"

Deliberately and reverently he walked over the stone bridge toward the gargantuan body, nearly tripping over the outstretched arm of Shear Kong. He looked down startled, as if he had forgotten all about his companions. The gorilla seemed to be in some pain. Straining a little, Stew lifted one of the leathery, meaty paws of his polymorphed friend. In a voice soothing and sibilant, he murmured, "Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low..." and as the bard continued his tender chant, the form of the ape shrank and warped until there was Shear the Hin again, lying on the stones. That done, Stew unceremoniously dropped the halfling's hand and approached the smoking hull of Tuckerthranx.

He stood before the corpse for a while without speaking, his own green skin reflecting the red of his vanquished enemy. Then he paced slowly back and forth, running a hand along the hot, rough scales and muttering dreamily, "The shanks! The chucks! Ye gods, the loins!" He swiveled abruptly and looked in the direction of the cavern exit, picturing the great world beyond and hundreds of tables set with thousands of bowls full of the most exclusive chili of all time.

Then his reverie burst in a hiss of frustration and he ruminated out loud, "It won't do, we'll never get this much meat back to the guild before it spoils. But Knotside, that is not far." He laughed in a throaty bellow. For although he had zero understanding of irony and lacked any concept of poetic justice, he enjoyed a bloody joke. "Yes, we will bring Knotside back to its feet on nourishing bowls filled with its own people's killer!" The kekwala licked his lips. "I will open a roadside stand there as soon as I can salvage the supplies, and it will be free to anyone who can prove they are a resident." He was surprised by the sudden thought that Ace might be proud of him for this determination to put his culinary talents to noble cause. A still more uncustomary pang of concern stabbed him then.

"Where is that bird?"












 


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ac:15 hp:75/75 str:13 (+1) dex:14 (+2) con:16 (+3) int:9 (-1) will:12 (+1) cha:20 (+5)
passive perception:11
attacks: Melee +5, ranged/finesse +6, spell +9
spells known: 14
spell slots: 1 (4/4), 2 (4/4), 3 (3/3), 4 (3/3), 5 (2/2)
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Old Apr 22nd, 2023, 11:47 PM
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Ace
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As Ace was joined by the uniquely enhanced barrel which Stew had so lovingly given the name of Beavis, Tuckerthranxx lost his nerve, though not his desire to pay these adventurers who had come to usurp his business for their efforts in flames. The red dragon beat his wings strongly to rise up into the shaft that led out of the volcano, and as Ace had just recovered from the noxious fumes that had unsteadied his strikes mere moments ago, the flying kenku was right on his mythic enemy's tail as he flew up into the shaft to chase Tuckerthranxx down. Unfortunately for the avian warrior though, that strategy had a flaw which in his rush for victory he hadn't quite foreseen.

As the dragon craned his long neck and saw the adventurers vying to slay him before he could make his escape, Tucker gathered his fiery breath and spew it right down at the crew that had invaded his lair. For Ace, that was quite the predicament indeed. Before the instinctive brawler had been able to get away with singed feathers due to his evasive maneuvering, but enclosed by walls on all sides as the fire blew down the volcano's shaft, this time the kenku had no way out. In the nick of time his high awareness allowed Ace to spot a crevasse in the stone that he squeezed up inside as the dragon fire rolled over him, but he was still partially subjected to its effect and this time the avian was unable to avoid the serious burns that a red dragon's breath inflicted on mortal men.

It hurt. The experienced adventurer's primal wrath had numbed him to the pain that simple blows might have inflicted on him, but the magical scroll of protection from fire that Uzza had cast on him had run out sometime during the battle, and without it more than just simple feathers were singed. The raven-black plumes gave way to blistering skin, and only time would help Ace regrow the feathers that were lost when his left arm and flank were washed in dragon flame. No hardboiled personality could sustain Ace through the wounds that his lack of cover had provided him with, and that he hadn't simply turned into a fried kenku were already quite the testament to his reflexes and situational awareness.

Fighting through the pain that distracted Ace coming from his left flank, his beady eyes shot back up where he saw Tuckerthranxx using his headstart to threaten a successful escape. Just when the martial artist dislodged from the crevasse in the wall and gathered his ki to catch up for a final clash with his prey, an ape and a barrel overtook him with speed and Ace witnessed Tuck's final moments as his trusty companions came through. Ignoring the pain from the fire, Ace let out a mighty caw as the dragon was slain and began his tumbling fall back into the volcano. Which turned the kenku's cry of victory into a smaller caw that sounded slightly upset. Ace was just in the path of the enormous dragon's descent. All of the primal avian's senses cried that there was a deathly danger about to have him join the dragon in his death...

There were a few moments as Uzza and Stew were celebrating the red dragon's fall in which Ace couldn't be seen anywhere inside of the volcanic lair. There was a moment of doubt about what had happened to the hardy kenku warrior in the final moments of Tuckerthranxx's demise, but finally a visibly burnt Ace emerged from the shaft inside of the lair's ceiling and with another caw of pride he joined his companions next to the dragon carcass. "deep, male voice, swelling to a jubilant roar of victoryThis! This is not just a victory for us! This is a victory for everybody! The land is free!!" Ace wasn't really in the habit of smiling. For one such a thing would have been quite the anatomical feat with his beak, but even a smile of the eyes was quite foreign to the kenku. His glare usually ranged from intense to surprised or confused, and even when he was highly enjoying himself playing cards, the expression that Ace wore could be best described as neutral.

So when Ace was standing tall for a kenku and looking right at the dragon that would be soon filleted for the noble cause of feeding the plundered Knotside, the pride that the hardboiled warrior felt over his and his companions' success was difficult to read from his face or demeanor. And yet a deep pride it was. The misguided kobold labor force had been freed from its villainous master, and now the region would be able to recover from the Red Claw's ruthless business practices. As a simple bird, Ace had no mind for business, nor for the complicated concept of wealth redistribution. He only knew that this was a job well done. He had gone out on this quest and they all would return as the sort of heroes he had always aspired to become. This was just one of the many steps that Ace had made to live a life worth living. But as an adventurer, there was always a next step. And the next step in this case was incredibly obvious. "rugged female voice, sounding eager and slightly cheekyAlright!! Who's with me to check out the loot?!"

It didn't take long for Ace to lead the rest of his unoccupied party members to the curious fountain of molten gold which he had spotted during their battle with the Red Claw's overlord. Having learned his lesson from the machines in Distillery D, the kenku warrior walked up to the impressive, yet curiously designed monument, and without any haste, he held his feathery hand above the liquid gold and decided against making any contact. His talons had reverted back to their usual length, and even with his left side lacking his proud feathery costume, Ace didn't fret too much as they checked out Big Tuck's treasure rooms. After a brief debate that found the kenku unable to contribute to the cooling of the fountain and the recovery of all this gold, their group headed back over to the room on the western side of the dragon lair, and here Ace used his beady eyes to spy a lot of things that sincerely went over his head. The potions were still rather comprehensive for the simple bird, even the empty one, but while his comrades dwelled on a workbench with schematics and a massive safe, Ace mostly stood on stand-by in case his rather straightforward talents were needed again. They still had to bring the news of the distillery's liberation to its workforce, but even that didn't play into the tall kenku's strengths. He had brought their quest to a close in the best way that he could, with his talons and fists. All the more intricate business in the wake of their success was a bit too complicated for him. While his allies hashed out the details, eventually Ace could be found playing cards with Klug. To nobody's surprise, they were about evenly matched after the kenku had used his mimicry to cite a few of the rules to his new swolebold friend.
 
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  #193  
Old Apr 23rd, 2023, 08:30 AM
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His ape form now disolved and Stew beginning work on harvesting the wyrm's flesh, Shear had to agree that elsewhere was better. The fountains of gold in the next room made the hin smile. Nevertheless it didn't take long for the more frustrating, even downright deplorable character traits of the cutthroat to emerge as the details of how to wrap all of this up in a neat bow were put on the table with his companions.

"None of these spoils go to that scheming coward, Eric Kolias.

And technically, this horde is the accumulation of sales not thefts. However questionable Tucker's business practices, business is business, and the business is now ours. Possession is nine tenths of the law. And it was us who stuck out our necks, slew a dragon and it is us who will provide the cure. We are not running a charity organisation here.

We distribute the anti-curse free with the dragon soup as part of the marketing budget. But that's where the freebees end. We provide jobs for any who are willing to work after they get the anti-curse and that's how the township earn their keep.

If we expand the business and there are good workers amongst the staff who are worth putting in positions of responsibility in order to do so, then we make sure they are well paid and happy."


As 25% share owner in the New Red Claw business, Shear could of course be outvoted by the other three share holders, nevertheless his oppositioin to anything resembly goodhearted charity would be constant and loud.

Some time later...Shear had been staying at Knotside brothel for little over a week. The town was rebuilding. The people were healing. Shear had been working. He had spoken to every single survivor until he had learned the identity of every person on Eric Kolias' dirty little hit list.

Once he knew who they were, Shear located every surviving member of their family, every co-worker and every close friend or even acquaintance. He asked them to recount the circumstances of the listed person's death. It was a foggy picture at first, but the details slowly emerged. One name was a common thread throughout the stories - Eric Kolias. Political rival.

The survivors, Tobias and Myrrh, Myrrh completed the torrid tale of Kolias' political assassinations i the midst of the town's suffering beneath the addictive yoke of Red Claw. Kolias had visited his rivals within the town to offer an olive branch. A peace treaty to work together to restore order in the face of the drunken looting that had beset the town as junkies sought funds to pay for their fixes. Of course, the offer of cooperation was sealed with a drink. Tobias had not trusted Kolias and each sip of the poisoned cup was an act. Myrrh was a recovering alcoholic herself and wasn't about to put her 365 day chip in jeapordy for the smarmy ***** who came brokering peace with liquor.

With all of the irrefutable evidence gathered, it was a simple matter to call a general assembly where further jobs were announced. Shear had lured Kolias to the meeting with the promise of his announcement as senior assistant to the manager of distribution, a lucrativie side gig he could easily carry out while playing mayor.

As Shear presented the facts, and each witness took the stage to denounce Kolias, the assembly swiftly became a trial. Once the story was succinctly and vividly painted, the stage became a gallows. Kolias of course attempted to flee. A single psychic blade tore through the old cat's nervous system, leaving him unconscious. Shear had the smelling salts at hand to revive Kolias within moments, a noose around his neck. "You have been found guilty and sentenced to death." Shear smiled. He kicked the stool out from beneath the old tabaxi and abandoned the stage still smiling."Call us a 'batch' now, will you?" he muttered under his breath, high fiving Myrrh as he walked past on his way out of town.
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  #194  
Old Apr 24th, 2023, 09:21 PM
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UZZA'S CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT
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"SHEARLUCC SPEAK TRUE. KOLIAS IS JERK."

While exploring the distillery with Ace, and with the help of very friendly kobolds who seemed to want to hear more of his throat-singing, Uzza discovered a safe. Very big, and very heavy. Even King would probably find it impossible to move. The goliath had already tried blasting it with acid, just to see if there were any traps outside that would be triggered. No effect.

"Easys big bro; death trap inside!" One of the kobolds, Chalupa, was quick to warn Uzza. Chalupa had tailed Uzza since his stroll from the sleeping kobold room, and was one of that bunch, as far as he could tell. He didn’t feel bad about the other kobolds getting killed outside, so the CIAO thought he was ok. "Thems were jerks, anyways. Stole me wagon moneys always after punch out! Pah! Bullies!"

So Chalupa proceeded to inform Uzza that he’d need to unlock the safe carefully, the conventional way. Uzza was no rogue, but he was an awesome genius spellcaster-inventor, so he wasn’t worried. A single word was enough to transform his arcane pistol to resemble a set of lockpicks, and the CIAO went to work. Chalupa put his tiny scaly head on one side of the safe, to tell him if Uzza was turning the dial at the right spot.

Click.

"Yess, bosss! One mo!" Chalupa chirped excitedly. Uzza bit his tongue as he fiddled with the tumblers with his pick, turning the dial ever so delicately…

Click.

The safe opened.

"BOOM! HA-HAAA! UZZA IS CRAZYGOOD INVENTOR AWESOMENESS OTIFICER! YEAHBABY!"

There was no actual boom, aside from Uzza's deep bass voice. There was, however, a treasure.

Uzza would show this groundbreaking discovery to the others, of course. As they understood how the whole operation worked, they would learn that this vial of swirling, purplish-pink liquid was the key to that Red Claw stuff being so addictive. Uzza had tasted a batch of the booze prior to application of this substance; it was nothing more than tepid tonic water or something. Lame and flat and forgettable. This pink stuff is what made Red Claw so magical. It took some time, but he discovered that the vial’s contents were substantiated from the mainstream schools of magic: hints of enchantment and generous sprinklings of evocation. No wonder he felt that irresistible tug for more just after one sip of the stuff. Perhaps he felt that less compared to Shearlucc because of his profession?

"ENCHANTMENT… TO MAKE THEM - US -" Uzza glanced at Shearlucc for a heartbeat, then turned back to the vial he was holding up to the torchlight. "MAKE PEOPLE CRAVE MORE." The Knotside clerics did mention the Red Claw addiction was somewhat of a Curse. This Enchantment composition must be the source of it. So if this composition was tweaked, would the curse be removed? "THEN… HMMM." Uzza pondered. "…EVOCATION! HUH. THIS WHY THEY GO BOOM!" The more people imbibed the stuff, the more volatile compounds they were putting in their bodies. No wonder they would burst like bonkers balloons eventually. The two schools of magic mixed into one concoction made one hekkuva of a crazy explosive cocktail. It was good, Uzza had to admit, for Tuck’s quick cash getaway business model. Get the suckers hooked on Red Claw so they fork out their life’s savings on more of it, then forget about them as they went boom. No loose ends, or so a dragon would think. Idiot. Any decent businessperson would know that keeping customers happy - not to mention alive - was the key to long-term success. Pfft. Did Tuck even go to business academy? What a poser.

"GIVE UZZA THREE DAYS! I NOT JUST MAKE CURE. I MAKE BOOZE… BEST BOOZE!"

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@ElderOblex lol
Uzza was very busy in those three days, hardly leaving the distillery, or even sleeping. "LONG REST FOR LOSERS," he would say if anyone tried to dissuade him from his behemoth task. In any case, the goliath was eventually, for the most part, able to tweak - so to speak - Tuckerthanx’s formula for success to make it more… palatable to the masses. The enchantment and evocative elements were still mostly intact, but severely tapered down to be more of a kick in the throat and less of a head explosion. With a little... additives.

"HM. ABJURATION TO COUNTERACT CONTAMINANTS IN BLOOD CHEMISTRY… HMMM… WHAT STEW SAY? ‘BRING OUT YOUR BEAST?’ OR WAS IT 'BEST?' MMMMMMM. TRANSMUTATION... FOR… HO-HO… YES, YES!"

Several hours later, Uzza pushed the newly-artificial vial into its slot, producing the first batch of what would be a curing brew of New Red Claw. The matter of distributing it to Knotside and eventually to the surrounding towns would take some time and logistics given the greatly reduced number of giant weasels, but Chalupa and his homies promised to make it happen. "We gotchu bawss!" Besides, workers were streaming in from the town, motivated by Shear’s resting barbarian face, rippling ape muscles, and the grim example he made out of Eric Kolias.

But what made Uzza smile his widest smile was when he heard about the marriage proposals, fledgling adventurers, and startup business ventures popping up all over the region.

"BACK. IN. BUSINESS. BABYYYYY!!!Substitute "RED CLAW" for "THUNDER"*"
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  #195  
Old May 2nd, 2023, 04:30 PM
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Ace
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To Ace, the conclusions of their quest and how their companions explained it to him sounded rather straightforward. The heroes had slain the dragon, and now they would put the spoils to good use to make everything better than it had been under the dragon's rule. For the simple kenku, that was quite the satisfying result. The details of course he left to those who actually understood the first of business and such matters, though Ace at least tried for a moment to wrap his head around Uzza's find that they made in Tucker's safe when the goliath showed the suspicious vial to the rest of them.

Unfortunately the tall artificer's explanation didn't quite take. Ace understood that the Red Claw had done several bad things to people who couldn't choose not to partake of it further after imbibing it, until eventually they would pop. Only that Uzza would make it so that this would no longer be a concern, and that instead of running the Red Claw business as a potion factory he would turn this distillery into an actual brewery with real booze. To that, Ace supportively clapped applause, letting out a caw of respect.

For the next few days, Ace lent his muscle and his nimbleness around the distillery wherever it was needed. Which pretty much amounted to doing grunt work together with Klug while Uzza locked himself up and worked out the kinks with his New Red Claw recipe. Throughout this short period, Ace arranged for King to receive suitable accommodations outside the volcano, but Cahaya kept regularly sending kobold messengers to the kenku adventurer to deliver her complaints that she was worried about some elementals finding her and King in the little valley that the kobolds had been able to direct her to for as long as Ace was still maintaining his stay at the distillery.

The exotic elephant trainer eventually even visited the distillery in person, her frown looking sour enough to possibly rival the corrosive ingredients of the old Red Claw recipe, and Ace finally had to relent that his celebratory days were numbered. At least he had made a good friend in Klug and aided in the slaying of a dragon, and although he still wasn't quite sure how his companions were going to turn the molten gold into more accessible assets, the kenku believed in his companions who were either ingenious or crafty, and so he finally informed his party that he was going to take King and deliver the message of their success to the Guild. Cahaya was mighty glad that Ace finally saw sense and would lead them back to a place that was a little safer than this. King let out a delighted trumpet as well. Though in his case because Ace had brought him an apple that he had tucked away as a treat.

The rest of Ace's tale is easily told. The avian warrior was a simple bird in the end, and so he eventually returned to the things he knew best. He had trained his body into a lethal weapon and possessed the nerves to stand in front of supreme adversary like the hero that he had long since aspired to become. Slaying a mighty dragon or at least assisting in it was only one more step on that path of ascension, and yet many more adventures were still in the future ahead. Immediately after their victory at the Red Claw Distillery, Ace had been convinced by Cahaya that the responsible thing to do was to make a big birth around Knotside since it was still ruled by lunatics that become addicted to Tucker's magical brew. Uzza's antidote had not yet been delivered, and Ace relented to keep King out of trouble as best as they could avoid it.

The journey to the next Guild outpost was brief and safe, and the present adventurers showed themselves quite impressed that Ace's party had bested a true dragon and brought salvation to the whole region after the dragon's scheme had plundered it. But Ace didn't stay long. With no immediate quest in the pipeline and the distillery's riches not yet fully recovered, Ace spontaneously decided that he wanted to return to Knotside once more. So he did. By then Uzza and Shear had brought back order within the ravaged Knotside, and the town had started to rebuild. No citizens tried to rob Ace or King, and in fact they recognized the kenku as one of those who had broken the spell over the region. Thus the instinctive adventurer returned to find what Uzza and Stew had made of the place. His next adventure would be grand and heroic as well, but until then, Ace would have a drink and toast together with his old pals. "the nasal voice of a kobold whom Ace coerced into shouting the new slogan at full volumeTo the New Red Claw!! Bring out your best!!"
 
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