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  #16  
Old Jul 17th, 2021, 06:20 PM
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Dancing and Fighting Songs
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Tikum is nine shots in as Rammariel Silvermist stars singing. She nodded at his jelly joke, although she was sure it wasn't a joke given she remembers him giving her jelly on toast during one travel day when they went to hunt magic mushroom loving gnomes. She'd not do that again. It was awful. They jelly and toast were fantastic but the magic mushroom loving gnomes were hell. They've really sharp teeth and like to bite. Holding them upside down by the ankle is worse than catching a dragon by its tail. Who knew gnomes could be so........difficult.

Swaying out in the light, away from the shadows huddling in the corner, Tikum feels a pair of hands around her waist. She knows those hands. Gest whispers in her ear.

"You headin out again."

"No. Sir Ethan's given me a rest," Tikum says pretending not to smile.

"Me too. Let's say we take some time. Maybe head north in'ta cold country. Visit Simmy's lake."

"After dancing," Tikum says more than she asks.

"Without a doubt," Gest replies.

It is a Bright night. At one point, Gest spins her near the stage and leaning over she kisses Rammariel on the cheek. She even twirls with that old codger Bronthur after lifting him up from dozing, slack against the wall and heavy on his stool. He could step and saunter better than one would think. But after a few drinks, everyones a fancy dancer.

Tikum remembers all of it. Gest makes sure of it. Nothing like a good curing spell after a dozen shots to set one back on track. And, it makes the hang-over soo much easier.

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Old Jul 17th, 2021, 06:51 PM
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Xue-Mihun, Enrapturing Sorceress of Unsacred Rites and Forbidden Knowledge
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The elven sorceress was relaxed and walking with confidence after their mission had concluded without even a hitch. Plans and plots coming together. Beautifully. As a bit of an overachiever, Xue-Mihun was quite known among the Crossing Companions for a relatively low failure rate in the tasks that she set out to complete, but with all the constraints that had been introduced to her this time around she was still elated by the effiency and precision at which she and her squad had been able to work at the docks.

"After you, ma'am." Xue-Mihun quite gracefully accepted to take the door first and when Rammariel took his time to follow her in, she watched his antics in amusement, though not too broadly lest she might offend him. But it wasn't only his struggles in passing the door that amused her, there had been a clear shift in the dwarf's attitude after he had played the most eyecatching distraction at the docksides, a close second to the Renonculus in her own opinion. But either way, it was quite obvious that he was trying to do things differently. How curious... The red-haired elf patiently waited next to the door for her Companion to follow in, and as she did, she got approached by the bar's owner Fu, calling her out by name. "We have good news, and we got bad news. First, the bad news, for security reasons, you can only leave if the Bishop calls for you." Xue-Mihun had never made this dwarf's acquaintance before, but as she turned to him she wasn't disappointed in the least that Fu would know her. As Rammariel finally did his powerslide through the door, she only saw it from the corner of her eye as she replied to the famous bar's owner. "We can't leave? How unfortunate. I did make plans to be elsewhere in Orchardbrick today... Do you know how long the Bishop means to hold us up? I think sitting around here wasn't part of the initial job." She gave Fu a friendly smile since he was just the messager, and as she listened to his reply, Rammariel was already headed to the stage.

After a short conversation with Fu, Xue-Mihun had barely paid attention to the dwarven shenanigans that Rammariel and one rather old Companion were getting up to, and when she was finished and elegantly settled down at the table, the oldtimer had already fallen asleep. As Rammariel was still busy up on the stage and singing a most gentle lullaby, quite becoming of his skill, it seemed that Xue-Mihun was left with the painter Sorbo and the dark mystery that was Tikum, who had both been part of the other squads that had been enlisted by the Bishop. She also noticed Sorbo's halfling Companion Jyl dancing it up with a bottle of liquor in her hand, but even more eye-catching was her artfully painted face, though with a ghastly choice of motifs. To each their own... Xue-Mihun mysteriously smiled to herself and as Tikum got up from the table, she turned to Sorbo, the fourth dwarf in their current ensemble. There was no need for introductions. "Fu mentioned that there are quite a few Companion's currently in town, and it seems everybody was quite successful. Congratulations on your work then!" The elven beauty brushed a scarlet lock out of her face and while smiling at Sorbo absentmindedly accepted a glass of liquor, without even glancing at the mindless automaton that had brought it. "Speaking of your work, dear Sorbo. Was that your idea for expanding your series of masterpieces?" She pointed over to the lugubriously dancing Jyl. "I would hope that it isn't a permanent piece..."
 
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Last edited by Mindsiege; Jul 18th, 2021 at 12:49 AM.
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  #18  
Old Jul 18th, 2021, 01:35 AM
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This probably IS KansasThe short blonde hadn't even had time to really reapply her makeup after sobbing about Jyl and Daryl when the chanting started. There was an ominous, low rumble, reminding her of something from American Horror Story. Which was Weird since she was CLEARLY watching the Bachelor, again, for the fourth time this week. Re-runs were the worst. She put down the tissues as the chanting intensified. Muffie pulled her trusted Louie Vuitton, her cell phone, and Piddles the puppy closer to her. Looking up again she was in town sitting upon her couch. The colors were so muted. This was definitely not in HD, and we probably were in Kansas! Shudder.
Four Men Enter A Bar
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The door to the bar swings open loudly. Four very tall tan men walk in carrying a hot pink velveteen chaise. It's adorned with a woman in matching attire, busily tapping on a cellular phone. "To the back corner boys," she orders her cabana men, "I prefer someplace where I can watch the whole room in action." Nodding towards the bar Muffie speaks to the man standing there, "Are you Fu? I checked my Sosh calendar and it says this bar is actually the place to be in this sad little town." Glancing around, Muffie makes a mental note of who is already in the bar. This is so surreal. One moment she's sitting on her couch, looking at her phone, and the next she is in this drab little town.

Once the Cabana boys set down the couch, Muffie stands and walks over to the table where Jyl is sitting. Wanting to clap and jump with glee, she instantly recognizes the darling little halfling. Muffie pulls out the chair next to Jyl barely containing her excitement. "I see Sorbo tried to "fix" the unicorn. Let’s Have a Makeover and I can make it all go away. I'll make you look like you did before this silly fiasco happened in the first place. We can talk about boys and whatever else is on your mind while we do it." Muffie takes a deep breath, rests her face in her hands, and bats her lashes at Jyl. Oh, what fun this will be. Pausing, Muffie realizes no one has responded yet, and people were looking at her strangely. "Oh sorry, What a ninny. I am Muffaletta "Muffie" Joans, The Couch Girlfriend. So nice to meet you all. You may not know me, but I already know all of you... and I am so excited to be here. We are going to be such good friends!"

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  #19  
Old Jul 18th, 2021, 01:43 AM
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Heavy Steps
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A funny thing happened on the way to the Fu Bar...

That she was cut from the job wasn't exactly a shock, her abilities often prove handy but her knowledge was specialized. She was mostly just irked about *how* it went down, mostly just seeming to be based on blind luck and who got the nods first. But - a bit of consolation was there with the fact that there would be other jobs elsewhere. She was a Heavy, after all. Just the Crossing Companion jobs were usually so *interesting*, she was hoping to see this threw to the end.

Then on the road, she heard *it*. Like some sort of cross between a Dragon and an Earthquake, she raised her lamp to look around and try to figure out what could possibly be making the noise and - what the hells was that?

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The only good news is that the way it moved suggested it was something more along the lines of a transportation cart than a dragon but - what was pulling it? Magic usually doesn't sound like that? Smell like that either, usually. Maybe a faint whiff of something vaguely like sulfer but not.

Not to mention that there was definitely someone sitting inside it. It takes a bit for the dirty windows to clear enough to see that person inside looked like he was *somehow* controlling the thing - if you don't mind some loose definitions of those terms. The windows were so dirty that it's practically on top of her before she can figure out that the driver was a male orc, if one that looked like someone had tried to process him for meat while he was still alive. A chunk of one side of his upper lip and the associated cheek were missing, making it look like he always had at least half of a gruesome smile if the other half seemed weirdly genuine.

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"Skraacha Human. Excuse me, but I am very Lost. Have you seen a place called the Fu-Bar, but not *that* one."

"Sorry?"

"I am looking for *A* Fu-Bar, there is one this way but I need a different kind of one. In a different kind of place."

"...Only one I know of is that way. What do you mean a *different kind* of place?"

"A Different Kind of Place. There's lots of Different Kinds of Places. Some of them have variations of the same smaller places in those places. I don't pretend to understand it. I just Smile. Smiling Jack, they call me."

"Chamed. Are you, like a Crazy Person?" Jiaze asks, obviously not giving this guy her name. Not if she can avoid it. He seemed pleasent enough but - he shouldn't be here. That was hard not to feel.

"Obviously, Duh."

"No - the only Fu-Bar I know about is this way."

"Ah, too bad." he gives with a shrug, and the thing roars as it picks up speed and leaves.

...

Yeah, she needs a Drink. Headdown, Beeline - not even going to try to think about what just happened.
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  #20  
Old Jul 18th, 2021, 03:07 PM
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Salambiccus! Not one of those losers, no sir
*tinkle tinkle *

The sound of silver bells filled the air as a middle-aged dwarf strolled into the bar. In fact, he didn't quite stroll as much as swagger, a self-conscious spring in his step and a smirk on his face.

His thoughts were thoughts of triumph and the teeth in his smile were very white.

"Hi, everybody. It's Salambiccus! Don't mind me --" (he knew perfectly well that he had drawn on himself all the eyes in the hall), "-- I'll be here just a minute. I understand this is the place for... how should I put it... the ones that were culled? The cast-offs? Yeah, those that didn't make it! Mmmmhh..."
...
"...'Losers'. Yeah, that is the word. Go ahead, keep doing whatever it was you were doing."

After this brief, less-than empathetic speech, he doffed his jester hat and, holding it in his hand so the bells didn't tinkle, scanned the room until he found what he was looking for. Yes, in a dark conrner, sitting on their own, their heads downcast, staring into their mugs -- Jaize the Heavy and Essarion, the Elf with the Hair.

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seriously, guys

"There you are -- I knew I'd find you in this bar. Don't mind the show -- gotta keep the appearances up, amirite? I just wanted to tell you something."

Sal sat down and looked at them one after the other. Now that he was serious, they could notice his eyes in the dim light of the Bar -- they were a striking blue. He spoke: "Guys, the gods are fickle. Luck is an harsh mistress and all that stuff. You might think now that it couldn't go differently, but let me tell you -- we go on another mission, you two may well be the ones that make the cut. We do another one, it will be me and Essarion, or Gramps and Jiaze, who can tell?"

"This time, though, we all did it. We found out where and when the ritual was going to take place, and who managed it? Essarion! And you, Jaize, you gave your contribution as everyone in the squad. The way you got rid of those bouncers... just using your words! No violence, no magic. Who could imagine that? Well, I can, of course, but rhetorically speaking..."

"Anyway, now I gotta go, but remember -- chin up. Don't let those beers go stale and keep the table, because I'm afraid next time it'll be the three of us brooding on them mugs. Gramps? Nah, he'll keep going, step after wooden step, until the very end. I can tell. And speaking of him..."

He rose quickly and crossed the room towards the corner where Gramps was, once again, nodding off.

"Gramps! You're here too! Swell, I was just looking for you. I got you a little present from the Marketplace! See you later, OK?"

Salambiccus turned around and, with a last, sly wink towards Jaize and Essarion, yeah, he was still unaware of the 'you can only leave if the Bishop calls for you' partmade for the exit. Gramps Brinehonz looked at the item the jester had left in his hands.

Neatly folded, a Shugaro t-shirt.
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  #21  
Old Jul 19th, 2021, 12:13 AM
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Helping Hands
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"Who exactly are you calling a loser? All I see here are winners!" Muffie huffs standing with her hands on her hips. "From what I can see, there is clearly a large bag of money, free drinks, and as much socializing as we can stand. How, exactly is that not winning? I think you, Mister Jester Dwarf, are just being very Rude!"

Turning back around to the table Muffie sits and starts rummaging through her large Louie Vuitton bag looking for her make-up kits and some sponges. "If the lighting in here suits you well enough Jyl, I believe you should be a foundation color of a 2, a little pale for me, but you seem to pull it off with all that black." Muffie stops on occasions to hold several different compacts up to Jyl's face while she continues to ramble on. "I know Sorbo was only trying to help, but I think whatever *this* is only made things worse. Now this foundation should be able to cover it up, match the rest of your skin nicely, and not take too much time every day to apply." Muffie turned to the Blood Elf, "It takes you what, four or five hours every day to apply all your make up? Mine takes about one, but I do love a good contour. And I would think yours takes a bit longer to cover all those scars, even if they are decorative."

There is a beep from the cell phone on the table. Glancing down Muffie lets out a squeal of excitement. It was time for things to get fun. First, she would fix Jyl's face. Then she would quickly let out Rammar's Mythril shirt before he took off again. That poor Dwarf deserved some room for movement in his garments. Next, she would put a glitter sticker on Stella so Gramps could tell his crabs apart. There is so much to do and so little time. She had wanted to help before but was stuck on her couch. Now was her chance to shine, and Muffie was going to make sure everyone could put their best foot forward!

"Rammar, would you like me to let your shirt out some so it is still form-fitting, but you have a little more range of movement? Oh, and Gramps, I have these wonderfully spectacular stickers that I can put on Stella so you can tell your crabs apart if you want one. If anyone else needs anything before they go back out to their missions, I'm sure I have something to help in my purse." The Couch Girlfriend was going to make sure all her new friends were well prepared for whatever was thrown their way today.



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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 12:27 AM
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"Sticker our shells, girlfriend, and that lapdog of yours is going to get crab-god-modded so deep into your couch that it will drown under the cushions as my claws give all its precious parts the snip-snip-snip Humane Society treatment."



Bronthur "Gramps" Brinehonz
"Oh, aren't they a feisty pair! Here, CG, why don't you just put the sticker on the top of my head and I'll wear it for both of them," Gramps says as he pulls off his hat to offer a wide, clear rounded surface for sticking. "Thanks, then!"

He begins to return to his table, but then notices another type of commotion. "Oh ... and as for Sal, please forgive him. The fool speaks harsh truths and often his words sting himself more than others, but his motives are pure and he is a true companion, I believe. He would die for any of us if needed. And that, after all, is all one can ask of a fellow adventurer. You should ask, if you are curious and if he will tell you, about the life of a half-orc that he saved upon the seas near the Zabytennie Isles"
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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 12:40 AM
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Silly Crabs, Stickers are Awesome
Quote:
Originally Posted by bananabadger View Post
"Sticker our shells, girlfriend, and that lapdog of yours is going to get crab-god-modded so deep into your couch that it will drown under the cushions as my claws give all its precious parts the snip-snip-snip Humane Society treatment."
"Okay little crabs, would you like little hats or a cute sweater then? It doesn't have to be a sticker. I can give you whatever your little hearts really want." Poor little crabs, they really do get a bit grumpy, don't they? I just want to save them the embarrassment of everyone constantly trying to turn them upside down to see who is Stell and who is Stella. Muffie pats the crabs on the the shell, "It's okay guys, folks can just keep flipping you upside down to figure out who is the Stell and who is the Stella. Let me know if you ever want something to tell you apart."

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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 12:48 AM
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Jyl Quickstep
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There is a sloshy gurgling chugging sound as a vampiric halfling with raw cheeks and more than a bit of a drunken sway polishes off the last few slurps of vodka/paint solvent. Her eyes, normally dark like her wardrobe, are a bit red – though whether that is due to the vodka or the anger is uncertain. What is certain is the sound of breaking glass as the fully sloshed halfling smacks the bottle against the bar and creates her own impromptu dagger.

”Looshers? Did that bish just *hic* call us LOOSHERS! *hic* LISTEN HERE, ASHHOLE, everyone here in thish bar ish… what ish thish bar? EVERYONE HERE IN THISH BAR is a winner. *hic*” The halfling is less than three feet tall, but the drunken menace in her voice makes her sound like a towering 4’ 2”. The bottle waves wobblingly in a hand that has a hard time staying aloft. Jyl is using her other hand to hold onto the adorable woman who came over to help touch up her face and cover up the job the halfling had done with the steel wool. Jyl’s knees give a bit of a wobble, but her eyes never leave those of Salambiccus.

”You did your besht? *hic* Same as the resht of us. That’sh all that mattersh. Like old Jylly-bean here, I thought I was shoo shneaky – and what happensh? I get called a THIEF two sheconds into the job. *hic* Barely got away, too, but we pulled it off.” She looks at the bottle, looks at Salambiccus, and drops the bottle.

”Not worth it. C’mon, couch girlfriendC.G, let’sh dance! You, Rammariel, sing ush a song, you’re the piano man! Let’s party! Right after thish…”

And with that, Jyl hurries off to quickly be sick in the bathroom.

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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 01:03 AM
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Rammariel SilvermistOn page 157 of How to Be a Great Elf Without Even Trying in the chapter titled “Ambiguous Overtures” there’s an instruction on what to do when a beautiful woman asks you to take off your shirt. And the instruction is this: “Place one finger on her lips. Shaking your head, sigh mournfully and open your soul to the window of eternity. Remove the slim volume of poetry from your cross-body bag, hold it lightly between your fingers, lie back and cross your long legs languidly, and begin to read a——-“

No, Rammariel does not do this. He grabs the back of his tunic and yanks it over his head with such a brisk tug that a piece of his hair rips out, tangled in its rings. Praying he hasn’t sweat through his undershirt while banging out drinking songs, he hands the tunic over to Couch Girlfriend. Never mind he can’t really picture how you “let out” chainmail. Never mind he is supposed to be leaving like right now. He nearly asphyxiates from sucking in his gut while he waits politely for her to finish.

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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 01:58 AM
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Spanx Please

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"Rammar darling, first off take this Spanx and run to the bathroom and put it on below your undershirt. If you are going to insist on sucking it in, at least wear some shapewear. Your lungs and abs will thank me later, I promise." Muffie begins letting out the chain mail. She doesn't have any rings, but she does have a glamourous length of hot pink ribbon, and about one hundred, two-inch safety pins. Quickly she lets out the side seam under each arm, attaches a row of safety pins, then weaves a sparkling pink ribbon down each side. Her work keeps the same contour of the original garment, but now gives Rammar about four more inches of room, to move, dance, and fight. The pink flare lets his true colors shine and become the Prima Ballerina he was always meant to be! Handing the shirt back to Rammar she urges him to put it on and give her a twirl. "Remember, you look stunning even without the shapewear. I don't know what those elves told you, but you are amazing just the way you are. If you want all of this extra to feel better, I have you covered, but you don't NEED it. Go knock em' dead out there, and stay safe!"

"Oh wait, one more thing! I also want to teach you the bend and snap. It's a great dance-like move. If you practice enough, and time it just right, you can either attract just the right amount of attention or cause someone to have a massive nosebleed." The bend and snap really should be in every dancer's arsenal.




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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 07:23 AM
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Salambiccus was already foretasting his grandiose exit when he found out that he was stuck for good in the Bar. Irritated, he turned towards the strange girl who had dared to reprimand him on his choice of words.

"And Prithee, my Corpusculent lady, how should I address my fellow adventurers that failed to make the cut? Winners? If anything, I call them forerunners, because they first attained the condition that awaits us all." He gestured all around with a wide movement of the chin. "A locked limbo with free drinks."

"We are inhabiting, you see, a sort of theme park created by demons, apparently for our entertainment, but in truth meant to test us again and again -- and find us lacking. This is the real mockery, I say, compared to which mine are but frivolous jokes. Indeed, are we any different from these automatons which are serving us beer? As a friend of mine once said (he's been dead for a while now), I can only be sure of my own existence and thought, prisoner as I am within the small confines of my own skull. That's why I taunt, therefore I am."

"Anyway, since my companions and I are all living through this nightmare world created by all-powerful, merciless gods, I find only polite to extend to them the supposition of self-consciousness and free will. If that's not a magnanimous gesture, I don't know what is!"

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Old Jul 19th, 2021, 06:17 PM
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Heavy Steps
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True to her inner monologue there was only one way forward. When she had entered the bar it was with the intention of drinking heavily, at first to get the stinging taste out of her mouth and the weirdness from her eyes. It was working okay, if slowly.

Then comes the twinkle of toes and a little speech by the jester. It’s touching, in a weird way. She’s had a bit of wine too, taking in some more as Couch Girlfriend comes to their aid, apparently. She rises and - oops, must have gotten in some more than she thought.

Hang on, Room spinning a bit.” she manages to grunt as she goes to try one of her spells. Which is probably a bad idea as the Lifting spell isn’t meant to be worked while drunk…
Dice Spell:
1d6smch4 2 ✘ (0/1) 0⇑ 0⇓
1d6smch4 1 ✘ (0/1) 0⇑ 1⇓
1d6smch4 1 ✘ (0/1) 0⇑ 1⇓


And apparently she thought she was going to use magic to keep upright in a spinning room, but the spell might have had the opposite effect in the real world…
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Last edited by GleefulNihilism; Jul 19th, 2021 at 06:19 PM.
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  #29  
Old Jul 19th, 2021, 09:35 PM
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Fu paused mid bar trick, not a single tumbler spilling, as air rushed out of a nearby support pillar. "Ah, there's the bishop right there!" The barkeep undid a latch and removed a bronze cylinder from the beam. The man cleared his throat and called a list of names. "Bishop wants you back at the church. Says here, the rest of you are staying in reserve in case the cult makes their move. We can't have you all spread out over town when the other shoes drops. For all we know, that might even be their plan!"

He patted each of the chosen on the back as they left, slipping a scying token into bags, clothing folds, hair, and piles of gravel as they exited. He winked to the eagle-eyed patron in the bar as more mannequins entered the room from the kitchen area carrying silver bowls. Fu dropped a token into each table's bowl. "Now we watch the fun from the safety of the tavern. Keep your eyes peeled, take notes, or make fun of them. I won't tell!" He said with a wink.

He walked over to Daryl's table and put a hand on his shoulder. "Between you and me, you were robbed. Quite a few of you were robbed, if you ask me!" He said to the room, loudly. He paused, looked around, and continued speaking after not getting the response he expected. "No, literally, several of you were robbed. Your coin purses are missing."

OOCEven if you are participating in round two, you're more than welcome to continue here as well if your schedule allows it. If it becomes important to the plot we'll kick you out by name
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Old Jul 20th, 2021, 01:07 AM
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It's Time for a Pep-Talk

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"Okay, no more pity party. None of you are losers. If you were losers you would have just quit and walked away, but you didn't you came to this bar, and you stayed close by so you could help your friends. Now it's time to get sober, sit at this table, and make a plan to do just that." Muffie says stamping her kitten heel on the dusty floor. "We may not be able to leave, but I am sure we can find some way to get messages or items to our teammates if we need to. Right now... the town is still standing, there are people in danger, and I don't think anyone has stopped those cultists yet. So this Kegger is officially over. Everyone to the bathrooms to splash water on your faces. It's time to work Bishes."

The Couch Girlfriend waits to see if anyone will listen before sauntering over to the bar to speak to Fu. "Okay, Fu, I'm going to need four Venti Cortados, skim milk, triple shots, half shots of brandy — I think they will be more apt to drink it if there is at least some alcohol in it — with a sprinkle of pink edible glitter. Then I will need a Venti caramel frap, skim milk, light ice, double blended, extra drizzle, double expresso, make it pink, no straw — because we're saving the sea turtles! — and no whip." Muffie turns to walk back to the table. "Oh, I guess you can put it all on their tab since I highly doubt you take plastic here."

At the table, your favorite cheerleader rummages through her bag to pull out a pen and notepad. The faint scent of vanilla and strawberries emanates from the paper in her hands. One of the robotically wooden waitresses comes over a few moments later and sets the ordered drinks about the table. Muffie glances about the room and taps the pen's frilly top against her chin in thought a moment before boldly writing across the top of the page HOW WE CAN STILL HELP SAVE THE DAY:

"Alright, I have everyone a delicious beverage. Now we can start planning. Remember, we may not have been given the final rose last round, but we can still make our own bouquet and save this town! I'm sure Fu gets his supplies from town somehow so he has to be able to send out messages. Let's think of things we can do to help. Does anyone have any ideas? Did you find out any information from your missions that could still be useful? I have a cell phone, maybe I can google some information up and we can help out the A-team. Step one, get sober, drink up that coffee should help. Step two, put on our big girl panties and get over the pity party. Step three, figure out a plan." Muffie nods, proud of herself. She may not have gotten through to anyone else, but dang it, she had motivated herself into action. Hopefully at least one of these other heroes would follow her. A real loser would have just walked away. But they hadn't just given up, they had come here. Now there was a job to do. She just needed to make them see that.



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Last edited by LadyNotAGirl; Jul 20th, 2021 at 02:59 AM.
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