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Old 10-07-2014, 07:02 AM
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French French is offline
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INTRO MOST FOUL


Annex-in' Wonderland

"That's it! That's the last straw. This is the fourth time that big headed bimbo has disgraced his royal highness in front of the court! How dare she throw pies in his face!"
"W-What shall we do sire?"
"The only thing we can do, my lovely minion. We must amass our soldiers, bring rise to a frontier of magnificent warriors, and lay siege upon Wonderland!"
"But my liege, we've been banished from Wonderland!"
"Yes we have, my faithful companion... but 'tis not for naught. I have discovered a few... 'talented' folks. Ones who are so despicably peasantly that even Wonderland's gate cannot bother keeping THEM out."
"But sire! Wouldn't it prove inefficient to send incompetent hooligans to a land most foul? Especially for a task as impeccably important as this!?"
"It may be, minion... but it's our last chance to stop this foolish prankster dead in her track."
"..."
"We must defeat Queen Alice, and bring Wonderland to its knees."


Ace of Spades - DebriefingWelcome to an adventure most idiotic. This humorous fun-filled journey into the heart of the silliest place on (and around) Earth; Wonderland! You'll be playing as two groups of 4 less-than-competent adventurers tasked with a mission for king and country! Infiltrate Wonderland, and dispel the banishment curse that keeps the King's men at bay so that they may lay siege to Wonderland.

You'll be playing as Peasants. Castaways of society that are so irredeemably useless that the gates of Wonderland have no use for denying access into its domain. You'll have plenty of classes and races to choose for and customize your character.

AoS RacesHoomans
Humans are the run-of-the-mill Humans you can find on any Pathfinder SRD. They're fast, adaptive, and ever-greedy. Never trust a human, they'll backstab you for a pocketful of gold faster than you can say "You filthy redblooded scum-monkey!"

Felines
A race of Cat-people; because every game needs at least one furry race. They're nimble and quick-witted, but their tongues are definitely sharper than their swords (of which they suck at swinging.)

Corquescrews
A rather demeaning name for a proud race of warrior-apes. These creatures are a strong independant species of ape-like people that don large flowing capes to intimidate their foes. Their philosophy is to shoot first, ask questions never.

Ghastleys
A race of undead, these beings can never truly die, but that doesn't mean you won't lose the game if you do. They're filled with life-juices, and can absorb more from their defeated (not necessarily killed) enemies if they need to, though they may prove sluggish and slow with a sword. (PS: Not to be confused with the Pokemon.)

Rumbersnatchers
Funny goblin noses, large fluffy mustaches, and BIG GUNS. These little goblinoid creatures have all the technological advancements of the century. While they may be small and fragile, they'll sear you, blow you up, shoot you to brittle pieces, bring you back to life and blow you up again.

Minions
These creatures are the scum of the earth. Not really though. Even though they're very demeaned class-wise, they're loved by all because they're just so gash darn cute. In a fight, they'll prove less than useless, but outside of fighting, they're very resourceful, and have a variety of handy dandy skills.
Note: as a Minion, you can be a free minion, or ask a party member to adobt you. An adobted minion has a different skill set, and will act as more of a support character than a Free minion, who acts as a general skill-monkey.

Reality Benders
Ever heard of a commoner? Yeah, this is them. Reality Benders are a Psionic octopus-human race similar to mind-flayers, but are less than absolutely useless at everything. The upside? When they aren't useless, they're amazing. Most of their abilities revolve around coincidence, luck, and chance (and none of them can be used AT WILL.) Contrary to their name, they do not bend reality. Reality bends around them.

Featherfolk
Considered dashing rogues by the community, Featherfolk are rebellious, and uncooperative, making for some very frustrating interactions with the more... disciplined races. They control the winds with their large majestic wings, but cannot fly. (They can hover for a few seconds though, which is a neat party trick.)

Vampyres
Not to be confused with Vampires, these are Pyre-Vamps. They thirst for fire, and will stop at nothing to get as much as they can. Their skin is charcoal black and their eyes are lava-orange, but despite their grim looks, they're very fun and can out-drink even the Corquescrews. Their powers stem from how hungry they are, the more fed you keep a pyre, the more brightly their flame will burn.

Kobolds 2.0
What's worse than Lizard-Dragon-People? Lizard-Dragon-People that can actually set you on fire. Kobolds 2.0 are an evolved and much stronger version of Kobolds. They can get breath weapons, and very good durability from their scales, that is... if they survive the first couple of levels where they are nearly defenseless.


That doesn't provide you with TOO MUCH information, but it does give you a general gist of what your character will be like. ( I'm aiming for a more role-play-oriented character than a mechanical one, so I've neglected to include actual statistics. )

Now moving on to the classes! Some classes complement the races, but I'm sure you won't care and just pick whatever class you fancy. (that's the spirit!)

AoS ClassesPit Boy
As a street urchin, you've made your living by being "gud @ fightan", you have skills such as "fightan gud" and "super tanky omg you cant even get me down to 90%". Use with caution.

Civilized Barbarian
You're a Barbarian, but a nice one. You're very kind and civilized, but then BOOM. RAGE MODE. ALL CAPS, KILL ALL THE THINGS, CAN'T DIE, I'M IMMORTAL WHEN I'M ANGRY. everyone knows caps lock is cruise control for cool

Charlatans
A tricky tricksterooni. Your abilities revolve around successfully rolling a bluff check, and if you do, you basically win at life. CAUTION: Do not attempt to fight, you will die, it's always best to run or hide behind the local Pit Boy.

Neatshield
Like a meatshield, but not. His bulkiness comes from the fact that you just can't hit him (even though you have to, because he's an annoying taunter.) A neatshield can dodge plenty of attacks, and by the time he's tired, the enemy's already collapsed from physical exhaustion.

Pulse
A pulse can cast super stronk spells; Just not all the time... It just kinda comes and goes. Thankfully, he's competent enough to know how to fight hand-to-hand in case his arcane affinity fails him.

Flux
A flux can cast spells ALL THE TIME, but as soon as he runs out, he's just cannon fodder. It's usually a good idea to use this guy with a race that doesn't completely suck, so as to be able to at least run away when the time comes.

Vis
A Vis is a powerful sorcerer with an infinite number of spells at his disposal. Catch is? They're all terrible spells. You could get a good use out of him if you're smart though, but don't bother if you don't want to be standing there scratching your head while your companions have epic fights.

Clakwerk
A Clakwerk is someone who has toiled their entire life to scavenge enough pieces to build their own mechanised DEATH SUIT. No, it's not a suit that kills you, it's a suit that kills your enemies. If the suit dies, you might as well quit the game then and there. You have to FEEL the suit, BE the suit, MAKE LOVE to the suit. You ARE the suit.

Buccaneer
Sneaky Sneaky, Stabby Stabby. Not a very difficult concept to summarize.

Bard
The only class without a name change, because they don't need one! Bards encompass the true meaning of self-sacrifice, as they allow valuable kills to be lost in order to support their much stronger companions, who will then carry them to victory.


Starting items? Why... let's take a look, shall we!?

AoS Starting ItemsA Sword
Guess what? It's a sword. It does mediocre damage, has a mediocre hit rate, and is mediocre in general. Good for mediocre characters.

A Piece of wood
You can do so much with a piece of wood. You can bash people over the head with it (club), you can beat up multiple foes with it (quarterstaff), and you can even CLEAVE with it! Isn't that fun? Just don't break it.

Stabby things
They're small things that STAB people to death. Call 'em shanks, call 'em blades, call 'em what you like. At the end of the day, they deal bleeding damage, and that is always epicool.

Wand
If you're not too big on fightan, you can always take a free Wand. The Wand will be RANDOM, so you get as much as you bargain for. Though with Characters like Vis, or Flux, you're really out of options at this point.

Odd Guitar
There's something very odd about this Guitar. It's almost like... you can play some sick jams with it if you try hard enough. (A Bard's best friend.)

Orb of Mysteriousness
THIS ITEM SERVES NO PURPOSE. DO NOT CHOOSE THIS. It's literally a white marble that does nothing, just leave it be.



Questions? Compliments? Suggestions?

Keep 'em to yourself you lousies!

Just kidding! Talk away.

Last edited by French; 10-10-2014 at 06:43 AM.
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