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  #91  
Old 11-30-2005, 02:12 PM
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You know your players are a pain in the butt when:

They find a rule against your ruling of them either dying or something bad happening,

When they contredict your ruling

When the hand of god fails.


These go in conjonction, and if any of you don't know what the hand of god is, well its easy, a giant finger comes out of the sky and flings you into a mountain side. Attack 1d20+500. It can miss on a nat 1.
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  #92  
Old 12-01-2005, 04:43 PM
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You know your players are a pain in the butt when:

-They rescue a cat from a tree and expect that, even though they have a +28 to diplomacy, they'll be made lord of the town. (NPC's have brains too, so they're not all stupid.)

-They expect that technology stopped when magic was discovered, so things like gunpowder? Don't exist. Using this absolute postulate, they freely shoot fireballs everywhere.

-They bring a 64 ounce glass mug to the session, but nothing to fill it with. (All you hosts know where this goes.)

-When you actually EXPECT your players' characters to commit suicide, because they change characters so often.

-When they willingly play a prisoner to be introduced, then complain when they're treated like a criminal. (slapping, being told to shut up, having things confiscated.)

-When they play a necrophiliac, or a vile character (with features from the book of vile darkness) while in a party of neutral good and lawful good people.

-When they do stupid things like hide in a bush when the party leaves, then complains when nobody notices they're gone.
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That'll be blamed on me... not an arrow goes missing they don't blame on me, ever since I went and lost my horse... What? He was white and it was snowing, what do they expect?!
  #93  
Old 12-01-2005, 09:24 PM
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When he:

-Makes up a really powerful, uber spell, then introduces it when your having a heated argument with another player, to get him to shut up and leave you alone, you say "yeah yeah, whatever, later..." and he uses it. When you decide to take a serious look at it, he is offended.

-I think this may have been mentioned before, but so were some of my others. When he decides to start playing yu-gi-oh with your little brother in the middle of a battle or serious RP moment.

-When he has only been playing for a month, but thinks he knows more about some obscure book than your resident pro/person who OWNS the book.

-When they make up their own spells, then expect every shop to sell a scroll of it..

-When he is an evil jerk in every way, but somehow reasons himself into being "chaotic neutral" and then STILL expects to achieve god-hood.

-When they make called shots and you have to yell at them because there are no called shots.

-When they abbreviate your book names, such as "hand me the oriental." "gimme the exalted." "divine, please."

-When one player is the ride of 4 others, so if HE is absent, you can't have your session.

-When you have made four posts on a single thread and now come to realize just why you play online.
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That'll be blamed on me... not an arrow goes missing they don't blame on me, ever since I went and lost my horse... What? He was white and it was snowing, what do they expect?!
  #94  
Old 12-01-2005, 10:19 PM
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-When your players are way better dm's than you and know it/show it... and you cant say that that is a pain in the butt because it is a "learning experiance".

But seriously, its not fun.
  #95  
Old 12-01-2005, 11:24 PM
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When you build an elaborate trap, and plan for many eventualities, and give them lots of opportunities to be clever and a if they only had a scrap of caution something could have warned them... And the players walk straight into it.

For example, my players are currently raiding the tomb of what is ironically thought to be the "summer home" of a great mummy ruler/god last weekend. They entered a room that was 60'X60' with what apeared to be a solid gold sarcophagus encrusted with gems in the center. The room itself was made of stone. The walls have nothing but four torches, magically lit, but otherwise bare. The ceiling is tightly tiled, and it runs into a 15' wide shaft that runs up 60' feet. The torchlight in the room only extends about 10' up the shaft because of the distance and angle. The shaft is the only way to continue on forward and it is directly above the sarcophagus. A casual examination of the sarcophagus detects a few things. First, it is very magic. And if they have some way to decipher or read languages they see that it says that there is a terrible curse placed on the sarcophagus of Anketepot. If they examine the sarcophagus for a time, two emeralds fall to the ground, the players can take these with no ill effect. If they study it magically they detect a terrible touch-based curse. The trap is now revealed. If they climb the shaft and fall, they might touch the sarcophagus. The DC climb is through the roof, it would take serious equipment, or magic to climb the tunnel. 30' up the tunnel a Dispel magic goes off, cast by the NPC who calls himself Apep... he's high level. At the top of the tunnel there's an antimagic shell, it goes 6' below the lip of the exit. (Thank you book of challenges for that idea.)

There are several clever ways to deal with this trap, returning to town and building a 60' ladder would be one, going back to town to buy serious climbing equipment would be another. I would have allowed trick arrow shots, or anything that would have been cool.

The conversation between the players went something like this:
barb/rog/ftr "I'm taking it."
wiz: "Wait... It's magic..."
barb/rog/ftr "It's PURE GOLD"
wiz: "Is it? Hmmm"
barb/rog/ftr "I'm taking it." to me
Me: "You're taking it? Hey, did you all hear that? He's going to take the sarcophagus"
Others: "Oh?" "That's not a good idea."
Me: "OK, so, how do you do this? You walk right up and try to pick it up or something?"
barb/rog/ftr: "I walk up to it, and grab it with both hands"

So the actual curse on the sarcophagus is a nasty one, it requires each of the three saves.
- A challenging reflex save for half of a pile of electrical damage, which attacks every living being in the room.
- A near impossible fort save to prevent all their gold from turning to lead.
- A simple will save or go blind for 2d4 rounds from the flash of the conversion from golden sarcophagus to lead, and all the gems on it turned to worthless glass and paste (the two emeralds too, unless the player made their fort save or wasn't in the tomb.)

Finally, a player who purposefully touches the sarcophagus is afflicted with a curse. Whatever he touched the sarcophagus with (likely the hands) will continually be shocked for 2d4 damage at the same time every day. This curse has a strange permanency that will require three remove curses, or a donation of significant gold to an evil diety.

In conclusion, being a DM is awesome.
  #96  
Old 12-02-2005, 03:36 PM
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lmao.

Why would you want to remove such an excellent bit of roleplaying motivation?
  #97  
Old 12-02-2005, 04:56 PM
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When they ask to kill off their character for an inferior version with better diplomatic prospects, despite the mountainous potential of their current one

[Best you don't ask who this is]
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  #98  
Old 12-02-2005, 05:31 PM
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Uhm... who is this.
  #99  
Old 12-02-2005, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenloft
For example, my players are currently raiding the tomb of what is ironically thought to be the "summer home" of a great mummy ruler/god last weekend. They entered a room that was 60'X60' with what apeared to be a solid gold sarcophagus encrusted with gems in the center. The room itself was made of stone. The walls have nothing but four torches, magically lit, but otherwise bare. The ceiling is tightly tiled, and it runs into a 15' wide shaft that runs up 60' feet. The torchlight in the room only extends about 10' up the shaft because of the distance and angle. The shaft is the only way to continue on forward and it is directly above the sarcophagus. A casual examination of the sarcophagus detects a few things. First, it is very magic. And if they have some way to decipher or read languages they see that it says that there is a terrible curse placed on the sarcophagus of Anketepot. If they examine the sarcophagus for a time, two emeralds fall to the ground, the players can take these with no ill effect. If they study it magically they detect a terrible touch-based curse. The trap is now revealed. If they climb the shaft and fall, they might touch the sarcophagus. The DC climb is through the roof, it would take serious equipment, or magic to climb the tunnel. 30' up the tunnel a Dispel magic goes off, cast by the NPC who calls himself Apep... he's high level. At the top of the tunnel there's an antimagic shell, it goes 6' below the lip of the exit. (Thank you book of challenges for that idea.)
Man, isn't that book awesome? It inspired me a lot. It only makes your characters more of a pain in the butt when over half of them have memorized it or own it.
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That'll be blamed on me... not an arrow goes missing they don't blame on me, ever since I went and lost my horse... What? He was white and it was snowing, what do they expect?!
  #100  
Old 12-03-2005, 01:20 AM
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When start out with a chaotic good alignment, and end as a chaotic evil character at the end of the session.
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-So Seski.
  #101  
Old 12-03-2005, 01:51 AM
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You know your players are a pain in the butt when...

-They start to cry if something doesnt go there way.

-They think it is funny to go entirely against the campaign setting and start to kill of everyone they see.

-They try to get you to give them a feat called Exotic Weapon Profficiency:Small Humanoid.

-They try to make up a class called 'Cancer Mage.'

-They want Godzilla as their druid animal companion

-They try to give their bard an electric guitar and some bongos

-They spend the entire campaign looking for drugs even when you insist that noone has them and they are not in this campaign

DM's Revenge:

-Make them fight forty goblins guarding something and have it turn out to be the garbage

-They trip on a rock with 1 hp and now they are unconcious

-There weapons and armor mysteriously dissappear or break

-Force them into a Holy War (Funny story about that)

-Nail them for little things like sleeping in armor thus no HP recovered
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  #102  
Old 12-03-2005, 04:07 AM
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You know your players are a pain in the butt when:


- They see this list, and will try to do every single one of them in one session.
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  #103  
Old 12-03-2005, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sephiroth8807
-They try to make up a class called 'Cancer Mage.'
Cancer Mage is actually the first prestige class in the Book of vile darkness, lol.
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  #104  
Old 12-03-2005, 11:03 AM
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Stupid players. Sometimes I guess they're right.
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  #105  
Old 12-03-2005, 12:24 PM
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One word: Leeroy.

http://www.nekothekitty.net/cusp/daily.php?date=021125
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