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  #16  
Old 04-11-2020, 04:38 AM
Sir Grindsalot Sir Grindsalot is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrianaOleander View Post
I miss my cat Shiva, she liked me no matter what stupid things I said.
That is one of the most lovely, touching things that I've ever read.
  #17  
Old 04-11-2020, 04:51 AM
Sir Grindsalot Sir Grindsalot is offline
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"Eggshells encrust my feet." - Me

I feel your pain.

I'll try to sum this up a succinctly as possible. Popups aren't people. Texts are popups.

I'll elaborate on that, if and as needed.

Suffice it to say that there's a reason why I'm averse to open forum comms. The law of large numbers, esp. in the climate, will get you if nothing else will.

I'll tell you a story that happened just today, really really, and I can link and screenshot it if required.

I went to a virtual storefront/website, which shall remain nameless here, to give them money in exchange for their stuff.

I'd been there before; I was expressing myself about as I am now, to the best of my knowledge.

Today, mere hours ago, when punching into this business to make a substantial purchase, I was greeted with the following.

"Banned: you are not permitted to access this site."

No explanation, no nothing. Just that.

Why do I relate this?

To reassure you that you're not alone, that it isn't just you, and that, if you're crazy, you're probably no nuttier than the rest of us.

I sincerely hope that helps.
  #18  
Old 04-11-2020, 05:00 AM
Sir Grindsalot Sir Grindsalot is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethera View Post
You're definitely not crazy, OrianaOleander. I can relate to accidental medication blips affecting everything. Not fun.

You've probably seen the "Oath of Sangus" floating around, either here in General Discussion or in different people's signatures. Digorig posted it in an attempt to modify exactly the behavior you're talking about, ghosting on people and/or not acting like a mature human being. I don't think it's a sure way to solve it, sometimes life happens. But I like that so many people have picked up on the fact that there are social niceties, even online. Hopefully most of our community is pretty well behaved, but it's a sad fact of life in lots of areas of the internet that there are more trolls than friends.
I've been to tons of places like this. Behavior wise, it's a refreshing ride in the teacups. The urge to run screaming is pleasantly absent here, thus far.
  #19  
Old 04-11-2020, 05:11 AM
Sir Grindsalot Sir Grindsalot is offline
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I think that the essential point of OO's frustration is that OO wasn't given a chance to self-correct. It's hard to know if or how we've wronged someone else, if they've entirely, absolutely, and abruptly cut us off.

Even if OO is in the wrong, it's not reasonable or fair to just pop smoke and PNG someone else, out of the blue.

A "cruel-to-be-kind" heart-to-heart is better than vanilla ruthlessness and cruelty. Two wrongs do not make a right.
  #20  
Old 04-26-2020, 01:35 PM
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A lot of what you say here resonates with some of my own experiences over the past few years. First of all, it's great that you are seeing a counselor. I found a therapist was helpful in my own situation as well.

I think it's also helpful if someone you felt you were close to suddenly doesn't reciprocate to think about why they might have made that choice. It might be worth discussing with your counselor ways to reach out to an individual from that group and share your own feelings of hurt.

One thing I realized a few years ago as I started to listen to more "snowflakey" people was first this sort of barrier that there were things I couldn't talk about in the same way in those environments. Later I began to realize that it was because these people placed a higher value on their own mental health than I was placing on mine. It wasn't necessary that I just go along with some of the toxic ideas in my workplace because that is how to succeed in life. I had the power to say no to abusive situations.

But more recently I again experienced a moment where I thought I might have offended someone. I said something about the 2000 election in a discord space of people mostly too young to have made a choice at that time. Shortly thereafter, I wasn't able to access that discord and worried that I had been kicked off for offending someone. It turns out that it was just a discord glitch that day, but the fact that I had that worry means I'm not as comfortable in that space as I thought I was initially.

So I don't have any answers right now other than therapy is a good thing and if you can stay engaged with it good for you.
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