You Know Your Players Are A Pain In The Butt When........ - RPG Crossing
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  #1  
Old 01-12-2004, 01:32 PM
DePhantom
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In Defense of DM's everywhere.......

When ONE player manages to convince the entire party to travel halfway around the world for NO reason except to get as far away as possible from where the DM wants you to go.

He asks for the following each time he comes into town, every single different power center, every single different shop, all available jobs, running rates at each inn, and whether or not he can meet with the mayor/king/general ruler for tea.

He completly ignores the storyline (This has to be the most annoying thing in the world).

He decides he wants to leave the party so he can make a new character.

(Anybody who's been a DM knows what I'm talking about.)
  #2  
Old 01-12-2004, 05:45 PM
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Rodrigo Rodrigo is offline
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You know your players are a pain in the butt when:

They steal your idea for a forum topic.

They yell at you every time you adjucate a rule for story purposes.

They threaten to "snap you like a toothpick" if you cause harm to their character.

Easily turn away the horde of vampires with their diplomacy check.

Hate you for not making the vampires turn away because you think that the diplomacy dc's are bull.

As a bard, they choose to play their songs on a guitar in real life. They suck at guitar.

Decide they aren't ever coming back to the site you're having the game at, and neglect to inform you.

Claim that charisma doesn't always tell the way you look, and say that they look like Orlando Bloom, no matter what you say.

PM eachother about stuff that the other shouldn't know.

Bring out their Physics books to tell you that there's no way that even a god falling onto the planet would cause it to be completely destroyed, only most of it.

They democratically vote on what's going to happen in your game.

They make you use actual probability calculations and random number generators to decide who the monster is going to attack, so it's fair.

I'll save the rest for later.
  #3  
Old 01-12-2004, 06:05 PM
Celebrill Celebrill is offline
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the player argues about how it would be impossible for the monster to attack him or her before he or she got at least half the potion down...efectivly saving him or her from death.

the player doesn't know the rules and then complains when he or she is reprimanded for breaking them.

the player asks "do we really have to roleplay all this? can't we just skip to the next battle?"

the player decides that he or she is the spawn of a ruler or diety and thus gets to start the game with rediculous items, special abilities and/or dynamic game NPC relations.

the player thinks that you're there to make sure that he or she makes it through the campaigne safely and gets angry when the first treasure chest they open after a huge battle does NOT contain mutiple cure potions.

the player gets mad when you won't allow something that "i saw in an official WOTC book once!"

the player is confused at how a non-bovine can "bull-rush".

the player gets mad when you won't allow his animal companion wolf (3e, when they weren't quite as loyal) down into a dungeon that is only accessable through a hole in the ground and a rope.

the player then is attacked by three dire rats and says "OH, thats why you didn't allow my wolf down, you're trying to kill us aren't you!?"

the party kills a key NPC because "i just knew he was hiding a wand of fireball. he was going to waste us all, you guys should thank me!"

ok thats enough for now
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Old 01-12-2004, 06:55 PM
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You roll the treasure after the battle, and it shows that the kobold shaman had a wand of fireballs that he never used, according to the treasure roll. You subtract this, and the players get angry because your treasure rolls were low.

They want you to roll your dice out in the open too.[/b]
  #5  
Old 01-12-2004, 07:30 PM
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you know your players are a pain in the butt when:

They name their character Bob the Mighty.

They make more Out of Character posts than In Character posts.

They say you can't change the rule because its in the PHB, DMG, or MM.

They have to have a munchkin character everytime they play.

They want lunch in the middle of a battle.
  #6  
Old 01-12-2004, 10:00 PM
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lol, I have done or seen almost all of these done.


The player decides to lead the entire party 500 miles north because he claims his character has wanderlust.

He fudges his die rolls so that he is able to defeat the main antagonist of the campaign in the first encounter.

Even when he rolls the die in front of you he repeatedly criticalls on the messengers trying to tell the main baddie where your group is.
  #7  
Old 01-12-2004, 10:19 PM
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You have to admit, Waldo, me detonating those harpies was pretty cool. Especially the kobolds face after I'd done it. :o :biggrin:

He decides to lie down, just to get comfortable in the beginning of the session, and ends up falling asleep. He gets angry when people wake him.

He continually asks you what his character can and can't do.

He says, "Character sheets are a thing of the past, I've got it all up here."(Points to his head.)

They purposely let the lich come back to life just so they can get more xp off of him.

His posts are 3 pages long so that he can contain every possible contingency in it.

He claims that your world's ecologies are unrealistic, and that several niches are left unfilled.

When you give him the talking stick he bops you on the head with it.
  #8  
Old 01-12-2004, 11:13 PM
Wyntre
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when you don't give him the talking stick he sits on you.

they need to reinact every action in combat.

they need to re-reinact last sessions combat.

they spend 5 hours talking about what happened last session, during this session.

they think their character knows all about every monster because they read through the Monster Manual.

they think their character knows everything they do.

they take a bath room break every 5 minutes.
  #9  
Old 01-13-2004, 11:49 AM
Skyldt Skyldt is offline
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they think a bastard sword is a ranged weapon.
they read during the game.
when in the armory, they attach 23+ throwing knives to their person and some to their weapons. ( i did that once. :biggrin: )
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  #10  
Old 01-13-2004, 04:49 PM
Cyril_Shadowskin
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They have memorized every monster in MM I and MM II and know all their stats and special abilities. (true story!)
  #11  
Old 01-13-2004, 10:03 PM
Fixxxer
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...they ask if they can play.
  #12  
Old 01-14-2004, 02:01 PM
Wyntre
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thats not humourous in anyway there fixxxer.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-ask everytime they get to town, "Where's the strip club?"

-need to have 2 characters. 1 male, 1 female, and they have to be dating.
  #13  
Old 01-14-2004, 08:33 PM
Celebrill Celebrill is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyntre
-need to have 2 characters. 1 male, 1 female, and they have to be dating.
why do they have to be a male and a female? why can't the male Sorcerer be dating the male bard? they're both really hot anyways
  #14  
Old 01-14-2004, 10:45 PM
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I think the correct term is "fabulous".

I sympathize with Fixxer. I am in the most awesomest game ever, and I bug my DM about it continually. He once said when it comes to my game, I'm like a teenage boy talking about sex. "Can we do it? Can we? Is it over? Can't we do it longer? When can we do it again?"

My DM is fond of unusual, if apt, similes.
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  #15  
Old 01-15-2004, 01:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Medesha
I think the correct term is "fabulous".

I sympathize with Fixxer. I am in the most awesomest game ever, and I bug my DM about it continually. He once said when it comes to my game, I'm like a teenage boy talking about sex. "Can we do it? Can we? Is it over? Can't we do it longer? When can we do it again?"

My DM is fond of unusual, if apt, similes.
DOOM says:
I do not think this DM should complain at all. Would he or she rather have players who are really excited about playing their game? Or would they rather have people who miss half of the time and are apathetic when they are there?

Oh well...

When are players a big 'ol pain in the butt IMO?? When they demand that you give 'em something in the campaign. Then you DO give it to them, and they complain complain complain about it without end!! (Typically this involved combat or intrigue...)
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