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  #61  
Old 08-09-2004, 09:46 AM
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You Know Your Players are a Pain When (These all happened to me)

Player A:

-Wants to multiclass into a class that is completely non-existant in your campaign setting (like a ninja)
-Assumes an attack roll of seventeen can hit almost anything, and when they miss they say, "That So hit!"
-Decides to change their rogue's strength from twelve to eighteen just because
-Assumes most anything can be bought for 1,000 gold, and when they can't they insist they should be able to use credit

Player B:

-Plays a necrophiliac monk (I AM NOT LYING)
-Can never play at anybody else's house because something's going on, and when you play at their house they have to babysit
-Tries to start Magic: The Gathering games in the middle of a session
-Invites players to play that have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY AT ALL

Player C:

-Calls you on the phone to organize game sessions and then complains for two hours about how D&D is unrealistic (well, duh it's unrealistic. It IS a fantasy game)
-Keeps hinting that they wish the time period was different
-Won't shut up about politics during sessions
-Keeps talking about their own campaign setting while you are running yours
-Complains whenever you use words that might not be part of a quasi-medieval vernacular (like the word "bomb")
-Loses the henchman character sheet you made for them because they just HAD to choose the leadership feat

Player D:

-Just plain can't take any hints to follow the plot... even remotely... at all...
-Refuses to fight animals unless attacked by them first, and then tries to deal subdual damage so they won't kill the animal (and then gets killed by the animal)

Player E:

-Keeps juggling rules from different editions because "these rules make more sense"
-Complains when you won't let them due to continuity reasons

This is my group people. The biggest reason why I've started to play online!
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  #62  
Old 08-09-2004, 03:51 PM
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I have a player (who I avoid at all times) who:

-Constantly calls to try and make a session
-Thinks that an entire campaign can be drawn up and prepared in 30 minutes
-Doesn't even really know how to play D&D
-Is unwilling to read the rulebooks
-While playing, decides to take a nap
-Gets angry when you wake him up
-Always wants to do something else when you finally let him play, though he complained to play for weeks.
-Completely ruins the session for everyone else.
-Tells the DM what to do
-You can't tell him no, because he'll start rumors about you at school
-Can't tell him yes because you'll have a horrible time
-Can't avoid him for long because he'll call everyone you know.

Yup, I'm screwed...
  #63  
Old 08-09-2004, 04:31 PM
ThaJuggla
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Kill him and hide the body down a well.
  #64  
Old 08-09-2004, 05:21 PM
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We were actually thinking about something along those lines, but we were gonna drug him and leave him under a bridge in Alaska.

Did I mention that we have to cover our tracks completely any time we want to get the group together? I have to call everyone I know and tell them that I'm at the home of a person who I made up...
  #65  
Old 08-09-2004, 06:26 PM
Li Groundrunner
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When they try to intimidate someone with a 5' tall Gungan...(Not that that ever happened, of course...:shifty eyes: )

Scratch that, when they intimidate, PERIOD. (Never again...)
  #66  
Old 08-16-2004, 08:34 PM
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.....they try to intimidate someone who's 100' away, 50' in the air
.....they inexplicably go off and take a shower
.....they randomly fall asleep during the gaming session
.....they start groping the girl next to them
.....they fall asleep WHILE groping the girl next to them
.....they insist on starting each gaming session by smoking pot to "get into character"

And the number one indicator of that your player is a pain in the butt is when he manages to do all of the above in a single gaming sessions!

Last edited by Paddon; 08-17-2004 at 04:27 AM.
  #67  
Old 08-16-2004, 10:21 PM
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They fail a Dex check DC 5 with a Dex score of 18 to prevent from failing over a newspaper.
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  #68  
Old 08-21-2004, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverCash21
They fail a Dex check DC 5 with a Dex score of 18 to prevent from failing over a newspaper.
How'd he manage to do that??
  #69  
Old 08-21-2004, 08:07 PM
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DamotheBoyWonder DamotheBoyWonder is offline
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The mod. for a score of 18 is +4. If (s)he rolled a natural 1, the final check would be 1+4=5.
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  #70  
Old 08-21-2004, 11:29 PM
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Woudl a natural 1 also be a critical failure?
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  #71  
Old 08-21-2004, 11:34 PM
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When you have a group of at least 4 'seemingly' intelligent friends of yours who spend 2 hours on a single trap. (happened to me)

When characters wander off from the party in a haunted castle and don't tell anyone ic so they end up missing for about 3 minutes before anyone notices. (happened to me.)

When characters stereotype to the point that they cannot play a barb that isn't half orc, or a half orc that isn't barb, or a ranger that isn't elven....etc. (happens alot, to me at least.)

When a player get's bitten by a vampire, and thus becomes one, and then thinks he is god, so he wakes up and steps outside the next morning...(happened to me. By the way these were all in the same campaign, in the same SESSION. 2 out of 6 characters survived the campaign. One character died after 5 minutes. His female half elven rogue ate an apple given to him by the leader of the assassins guild...)
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  #72  
Old 08-21-2004, 11:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treefrogalpha
Woudl a natural 1 also be a critical failure?
It depends on your DM. It's a not-to-commonly known fact that critical failures are a house rule (with skill checks, anyway).

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRD
Unlike with attack rolls and saving throws, a natural roll of 20 on the d20 is not an automatic success, and a natural roll of 1 is not an automatic failure.
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A state trooper in Oklahoma who had pulled over a delivery truck found 600 pounds of marijuana hidden in four coffins. Or so starts the math section of Snoop Dogg's new SAT prep book.
  #73  
Old 08-22-2004, 07:09 AM
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Ah, I gotcha. I was assuming that nat. 1 = crit. failure
  #74  
Old 08-23-2004, 01:21 PM
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when the paladin detects evil down a hole, hears the words "come on down, its safe and only a short fall" from the same place, and just jumps down.

When trying to sneak through a hobgoblin stronghold, the above aasimir paladin daylights himself

when the paladin (again) abandons companions in the middle of combat, doesn't go back down to rescue then, then gets pissy because he lost his paladinship

.....and this was just one game session
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  #75  
Old 09-27-2004, 03:16 AM
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Now I'm almost glad I don't play in RL, only online. Although there are some things that can't be replaced. Like watching the resident sorcerer roll 15 dice at the same time for his fireball.
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