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  #76  
Old 04-06-2019, 02:03 AM
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My Character, Vogul Yugor is finished, I think. I feel like I met all the requirements and hopefully beyond. It wasn't the initial character I had but it is a character I can relate to and I feel like it's a character that I am going to enjoy playing. If there is anything I can improve upon, let me know.
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  #77  
Old 04-06-2019, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthilian01 View Post
My Character, Vogul Yugor is finished, I think. I feel like I met all the requirements and hopefully beyond. It wasn't the initial character I had but it is a character I can relate to and I feel like it's a character that I am going to enjoy playing. If there is anything I can improve upon, let me know.
An important question: are his wife and children coming with him into Karredral now, or are they waiting? Ghol Varad is already a sizable town surrounded by outlying farmsteads, and there are a few settlements being attempted further north, as well. Quite a few "civilian" Karredrim have already moved in and started establishing a new society - but, given the hardships and dangers of what they're doing, from monster attacks to the simple risk of starvation if a harvest goes bad, this first wave of settlers have to be pretty committed, and pretty desperate. It seems likely, actually, that tieflings would be well-represented among that group, since they're so much more likely than others to be persecuted and endangered even in the wild lands.

Having Vogul's family present in Ghol Varad already puts an interesting twist on his motivation - other PCs might want to reclaim Karredral as an abstract goal, but for him, securing and pacifying the lands around Ghol Varad is about keeping his family safe. It's going to be good for at least some of the PCs to have direct, personal reasons to care about the safety and security of the people settling Karredral.
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  #78  
Old 04-06-2019, 07:55 AM
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@MemoryBeast: Actually, yes, That's a good thing I hadn't thought of but it makes sense. I was at a point where I was like, "How will his family survive at their little isolated homestead without Vogul to protect them?" So, he must have moved them to Varad's main encampment while he is blazing ahead.
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Old 04-06-2019, 10:09 AM
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I've finished Travish Nightstalker. I'd love feedback if you have any for the character and if there's anything else that needs to be done.
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  #80  
Old 04-06-2019, 10:45 AM
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I've finished Travish Nightstalker. I'd love feedback if you have any for the character and if there's anything else that needs to be done.
Clarify for me: the description of the Nightstalker Clan in the first paragraph is talking about their service to the sorcerer-lords of Karredral, back before the empire fell, correct? So their arcane archery is a martial tradition handed down from Karredral, and then after the empire fell, they spent the intervening centuries keeping that tradition alive and using it among the free Karredrim instead? I like that they had this kind of ninja-clan vibe to them, an isolated enclave keeping this ancient martial tradition alive and renting out their services to the powerful.

The swinish lord he'd been serving makes sense among the free Karredrim - we've established that, over a couple hundred years since the fall of Karredral, a feudal-ish society seems to have emerged in the wild lands, with a bunch of petty nobles squabbling over wealth and territory when they're not temporarily allying to take on the beast tribes or the elder races. If Lord Cavmond is a particularly powerful or influential lord (which he must be, if he's that confident that he can mistreat his assassins and still be assured of their service), then it makes a certain amount of sense that Trav would need to flee someplace far away in a hurry after deliberately failing his mission - say, to Varad's service in Karredral? Using the failed assassination mission as a connection to another PC is an interesting hook as well, and gives two reasons for Trav to go to Karredral - needing to flee Cavmond, and loyalty or friendship with another character who's going to Karredral for reasons of their own.
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  #81  
Old 04-06-2019, 10:48 AM
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@MemoryBeast: Finnelis is submitted for consideration. If you have any feedback, it is more than welcome.
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Old 04-06-2019, 11:10 AM
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Ok I've pretty much fleshed out my character's story and concept here. I had fun taking your setting and running with it haha (and I rewrote the end of my story to remove the jarring shift in tone.) Hopefully I didn't misinterpret your setting too much
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  #83  
Old 04-06-2019, 12:25 PM
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Clarify for me: the description of the Nightstalker Clan in the first paragraph is talking about their service to the sorcerer-lords of Karredral, back before the empire fell, correct? So their arcane archery is a martial tradition handed down from Karredral, and then after the empire fell, they spent the intervening centuries keeping that tradition alive and using it among the free Karredrim instead? I like that they had this kind of ninja-clan vibe to them, an isolated enclave keeping this ancient martial tradition alive and renting out their services to the powerful.

The swinish lord he'd been serving makes sense among the free Karredrim - we've established that, over a couple hundred years since the fall of Karredral, a feudal-ish society seems to have emerged in the wild lands, with a bunch of petty nobles squabbling over wealth and territory when they're not temporarily allying to take on the beast tribes or the elder races. If Lord Cavmond is a particularly powerful or influential lord (which he must be, if he's that confident that he can mistreat his assassins and still be assured of their service), then it makes a certain amount of sense that Trav would need to flee someplace far away in a hurry after deliberately failing his mission - say, to Varad's service in Karredral? Using the failed assassination mission as a connection to another PC is an interesting hook as well, and gives two reasons for Trav to go to Karredral - needing to flee Cavmond, and loyalty or friendship with another character who's going to Karredral for reasons of their own.

Correct! The first paragraph just gives a brief history of who the Clan used to be during the empire (perhaps they were a guild once turned roaming clan after the fall? Who knows!) I wanted a reason for their existence rather than just 'popping up one day in the wilds.' I'm glad the ninja-like impression came across! I wanted to add a cool backstory for Arcane Archery to exist rather simply say 'it's cool', and this seemed like a good way of doing that.

I certainly think that Lord Cravmond is powerful, as it creates another dimension of conflict for the PC's and story purposes! More tools for you to play with as a DM. It undoubtedly ups the stakes on another level. Trav is running away from something while also running towards something. Who knows how that'll go!
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  #84  
Old 04-06-2019, 02:11 PM
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Shaede: I'm interested in the darker aspect of the free Karredrim that you've got going on here. In Ragthar, we're seeing a free Karredrim society that takes a nationalistic pride in being from Karredral, and, more telling, is in the habit of capturing and enslaving elves. We've seen elsewhere that the elves are often pretty racist and nasty towards humanity, but in Ragthar we're seeing at least one example of free Karredrim who really are the barbaric menace that the elves seem to regard them as. I like the complexity that brings to the relationship between humans and elves.

The Karredrim nationalism thing is interesting, too, because that's Varad's whole deal. Ragthar is apparently a very militant and nationalistic group of free Karredrim - how does Finnelis's society as a whole view what Varad is doing? Is he the only one of the Karredral Elite who's taken notice?


Squirrels: I'm less concerned about a tone problem at the end of your story than at the beginning. The first thing we see Korbyn doing is torturing and murdering a woman. There's certainly room in the setting for the Adhari cult to be that dark and fanatical (and petty and political, as we get with Calen), but for the PC himself... I mean, does he feel bad that he tortured and murdered people for a living? He hasn't left the Adhari because he had a change of heart, here - he's left because of Calen's political ploy and Nahdir throwing him under the bus. But if he's still the guy who was okay torturing women, and he'd still be doing that if events outside his control hadn't gotten him kicked out of the Adhari - that might be a little darker and more unsympathetic than we were looking for in this game.
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  #85  
Old 04-06-2019, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
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Shaede:
The Karredrim nationalism thing is interesting, too, because that's Varad's whole deal. Ragthar is apparently a very militant and nationalistic group of free Karredrim - how does Finnelis's society as a whole view what Varad is doing? Is he the only one of the Karredral Elite who's taken notice?
So, I see Ragthar as almost being a small border outpost, similar to Ghol Varad, but has been active for quite a bit longer. Due to the constant raids by the neighboring monsters, it has not grown into a thriving metropolis or anything. But, life there is harsh for everyone, and survival is the name of the game.

The population of Ragthar cheer Varad's inroads into their former homeland. If they could, they would all pull up stakes and make their way to the new settlement. However, it is still a bit too early, and many would rather hear of a more permanent settlement and reclamation of their homeland. That's where young men like Finnelis comes in. Many of the younger men are idealistic and have dreams about the stories their parents have passed down generation after generation. They want to help and join the cause. They want to be a part of a new beginning. No, he is not the only Elite who is traveling to Ghol Varad, but of course, not everyone can go. They still need people to defend Ragthar and its inhabitants, and sending the bastard half elf is "no real loss." However, Finnelis is going because he had something to prove to all the Karredal - he is one of them regardless of his elven heritage. And if that means living (and dying) for the righteous cause of reclaiming what was once theirs, then there is no greater honor (or proof).
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Last edited by Shaede; 04-06-2019 at 10:30 PM.
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  #86  
Old 04-06-2019, 10:26 PM
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Finished up and ready for feedback!

Hi there! I took a bit of time today to finish up my app for Agamemnon Wick (close to the bottom of the first page). If you have any comments or questions, just let me know. Thanks!

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  #87  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:01 PM
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The Witch of Blightmoor
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Character Name: Gerduun
Character Race: Half-orc
Class: Druid
Background: Soldier
Alignment: Neutral

Appearance: Tall and lean from years living off the land, Gerduun is as fit as ever even if she has lost much of the muscle she carried during her soldiering days. Long, black dreadlocks adorned with beads made of bone, wood, stone, and crystal hang past her shoulders while dark grease about her eyes lend her a menacing appearance while helping to obscure her age and intentions.

Traits: I can stare down a hell hound without flinching. I have a crude sense of humor.

Ideal: Live and Let Live. Ideals aren't worth killing over, or going to war for. (Neutral)

Bond: I would still lay down my life for the people I served with.

Flaw: I'd rather eat my armor than admit when I'm wrong.

Character Bio: Once a mercenary travelling across the land of the free Karredrim, Gerduun became more and more disillusioned with the life of a soldier until one day she dropped her weapons and walked away from her company. She spent days wandering blindly through the dense fog of the moors, trying to avoid those sent to hunt her for deserting, until she stumbled upon a small cabin atop a barren hill. There she came face-to-face with the legendary Witch of Blightmoor, who saw in Gerduun a potential few bothered to look for in her kind.

Gerduun had heard the stories about the witch for years, but had never really given any credence to the existence of a centuries old witch patrolling the damp moors. As she discovered nearly a decade ago, the Witch of Blightmoor is not a person, but a title transferred from woman to woman over the centuries since the first sorceress fled to the moor from the ruins of Karredral. The witch offered to teach Gerduun all that she knew if the young half-orc agreed to give up the ways of the warrior and become a guardian of the earth. Fighting for the world seemed better by far to the young woman than fighting over some dusty patch of it, and she agreed to the witch’s terms.

Gerduun learned more of magic and the natural world in the following years than she ever thought possible. She learned to survive, to navigate the treacherous moors, and how to care for the living when, on rare occasion, they sought the witch’s aid. The wizened witch found in Gerduun a pupil who thrived in the harsh natural environment and who was always eager to learn some new lore or lesson. After years of living side-by-side with the older woman, Gerduun awoke one morning to find her gone without a trace and the realization that she was the new Witch of Blightmoor.

Less than a year later, word reached Gerduun of Varad’s crusade to reclaim Karredral and she ventured to the land of her mother’s ancestors. While she has little interest in battles and glory, she believes there is value in studying these lands where nature and magic once grew so out of balance as to destroy an entire nation.

Roleplay Samples: A young wizard and her first adventure

A battle cleric’s prayer for the dead

A warrior avenges a fallen companion
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Old 04-06-2019, 11:14 PM
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@MemoryBeast I finished the backstory for Jasper and it is now included with the original application
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Old 04-06-2019, 11:16 PM
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Name: (Rosa) Ponderosa Twinklesprig Shimmerbottom.
Race: Forest Gnome
Class: Wizard (Conjuration)
Concept: Very Optimistic, scatterbrained, friendly and awkward.
Alignment: Neutral good.
Character sheet: (including background details) Link to sheet (still tweaking, but mostly done)

Backstory:
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It was a simple item by all appearances, a circlet made of nearly white metal. When one unlatched it from its expertly crafted storage case, the circlet would rise and hover exactly fifteen centimeters above the point under its center. Any item placed under the circlet when it was hovering would not age or deteriorate. Metal wouldn't rust, ice wouldn't melt, food wouldn't spoil, living creatures wouldn't age or die.

The study chamber was off limits to her, an exile serving under elvin rule, but she knew of a secret way into archives. Her family tended the extremely complex multi-layered hedge maze and aviary that surrounded the Onyx Archives, and there was an ancient drainage tunnel that lead under the building. The guard cat liked her, and would not sound the alarm so long as she brought it the type of food it asked for, often fish. There was only so much she could learn from her family's ancestral spellbook, passed down through the generations. The book was said to have been constructed before the fall of Karredral, bound in moon-metal that looked very much like the mystery metal the circlet was constructed from. It was mostly full of technical scrawling that she had only begun to decipher. As fascinating as her spellbook was, it was impossible to understand without resources; resources the elves guarded possessively. Everything shifted one night when she tried wearing the circlet.

It was a little anticlimactic. She didn't feel any different really, but while wearing it she no longer felt tired or hungry. She could focus without fatigue for as long as she wore it. She no longer needed sleep. By day she worked with her family on the hedge, recording soil samples, measuring growth rates, helping her father maintain his lifelike topiaries, sorting feathers in the aviary for her mother's ink brushes. By night she would sneak into the archives and study under the dim glow of the moon-metal circlet. Page by page, she unlocked the secrets of her ancestral spellbook and other arcane studies. One year passed this way. She had always been tall and thin, but now she was downright gaunt and lanky. Her mind was so active she couldn't turn it off, making it difficult to focus whenever she wasn't wearing the circlet. She was also being pulled, day by day, into leaving for the ruins of Karredral. Her uncle Blaze Thicketwocket, an unsavory character whom the family barely tolerated, had settled in Ghol Varad. He would send letters that told of amazing stories of what Varad was accomplishing there. The circlet had come from there. Her spellbook had come from there. Neither artifact was understood, even by the greatest of Elvin wizards - that knowledge had been lost in the fall. Or had it? Her uncle's stories and her own curiosity pulled at her, but so did something else; the circlet itself. It didn't belong in a lead lined box here, it belonged there, in Karredral. She could gift it to Varad, in exchange for access to the discoveries being made there, maybe even to aid in such research. The elves would not stand for that, of course. She'd have to leave, probably secretly in the night. It was a very long and dangerous journey north to Ghol Varad. She would be pursued and alone. The thought terrified her, but also excited her. The excitement won out.

Notes for the DM: (secretssssss...)
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  #90  
Old 04-07-2019, 10:46 PM
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I made a few updates to Guide. Nothing too much, mostly just the RP samples.
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