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  #106  
Old 08-25-2020, 05:42 PM
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@Noquarter19 - no problem making it public. I just didn't want everyone to have to scroll through a lot of stuff to find their pieces. DemonSlayer's Erevan Bryant had a similar tie in where the King or his agents were looking for old supporters in El Stow. Maybe you two could work together on how that played out, and done in a way that pretty much everyone else in the El Stow region is unaware that the young King Grohl even exists. The focus for you though, is not so much why Ebhen is following Grohl, but why does Grohl trust Ebhen.
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Last edited by Bhelogan; 08-25-2020 at 05:43 PM.
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  #107  
Old 08-25-2020, 05:45 PM
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I also had a few ideas (look under the spoiler, too) about potential allies in El Stow - by no means definitive, but could serve as good inspiration or tie-ins!
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  #108  
Old 08-25-2020, 08:50 PM
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Thank you for the feedback! Please let me know if you have any other question or things you're curious about; I'd be super interested to keep worldbuilding/character-building/all that good stuff!

DM Notes:
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  #109  
Old 08-25-2020, 09:20 PM
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I am withdrawing my app due to time constraints; I have two new games, as as well as one that I am running.
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  #110  
Old 08-26-2020, 06:32 PM
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@ Stormhamemer - appreciate the heads up.

FYI for everyone else, if you look at the application for Harf, this is pretty close to what I would consider the perfect application. It is short and concise, so every word counts, but it still manages to hit the major elements needed. Leaves enough open for growth later on as well. Not saying longer apps are bad, just wanted to point it out as a good example.
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  #111  
Old 08-26-2020, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhelogan View Post
FYI for everyone else, if you look at the application for Harf, this is pretty close to what I would consider the perfect application. It is short and concise, so every word counts, but it still manages to hit the major elements needed. Leaves enough open for growth later on as well. Not saying longer apps are bad, just wanted to point it out as a good example.
As a personal note for myself, since I am still quite new on RPGX, is this the best way to get into games? Breaking things down into the fundamentals wouldn't be as much work, as trying to prove that I can give my material flavour with my application, to be honest.

I guess I will read Aeternis guide to good applications once more
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  #112  
Old 08-26-2020, 07:29 PM
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I've updated my application based on the feedback. That said, I'm open to further feedback .
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  #113  
Old 08-26-2020, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindsiege View Post
As a personal note for myself, since I am still quite new on RPGX, is this the best way to get into games? Breaking things down into the fundamentals wouldn't be as much work, as trying to prove that I can give my material flavour with my application, to be honest.

I guess I will read Aeternis guide to good applications once more
Yea, the guide is good to read.

This is the kind of question where if you ask 5 DMs, you will get 5 different answers. Often times it is harder to write less than more. You have to be careful about what goes in, and cut things that don't really matter to get there. Hitting the fundamentals is a big key to making it work.

For this particular game though, since we are starting at a higher level, and have a few more requirements to the background, I am much more tolerant of longer applications than I would be for most my games, or for things like Outplay, where you get a fairly short word limit.

There are other DMs in this thread who may have other input for you too.
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  #114  
Old 08-26-2020, 08:29 PM
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Mini novella for me... I won’t read it, but I demand commitment.

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  #115  
Old 08-26-2020, 08:47 PM
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  #116  
Old 08-27-2020, 09:02 AM
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Thank you for the feedback Bhelogan! Please find my response below!

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Last edited by Arkaon; 08-27-2020 at 09:10 AM.
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  #117  
Old 08-27-2020, 02:23 PM
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App finished I believe. I look forward to feedback!
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  #118  
Old 08-27-2020, 04:29 PM
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Thanks for the feedback; I did a bit of a rewrite.
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  #119  
Old 08-27-2020, 07:04 PM
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After several hours of being beaten back and forth by my wife and daughter with comments like, 'You need more contrast', 'Put some gradient in the armor', 'You used too many block colors', 'Where is the light source', 'It looks like Thanos', and other artsy comments that are beyond my vocabulary (I'm just an engineer and the least artistic in the family with drawing and painting), I finally just put my foot down and said, 'Screw it, I'm done'. So, I now present young King Grohl!

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Last edited by Bhelogan; 09-11-2020 at 08:46 AM.
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  #120  
Old 08-27-2020, 07:09 PM
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He has the look of someone who needs a good PR person... like to tell him “your smile is manly, but if we can tone down the sneer a little, we’d get about 10 points more of the 20-29 demographic who work in the fields and military. You’re perfect for the widowers however.”

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Last edited by MontageManiac; 08-27-2020 at 07:10 PM.
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