[Game Thread] Mission Log 01: Crashing the Party

[Fragmaster01]

Oh dear, it seems that the local power structure seems to have something they want you to do. At least, that's what you think you heard, the messenger kobold wasn't very good with his words. He's a short little bugger, still wearing a burning candle mounted on top of a nice felt hat; looks like he got dragged out of the mines for a few minutes to deal with you guys.

Still, it's nice to get out of the testing cages once in a while. Stretch your legs, get away from obnoxious rodents in lab coats poking you with sharp needles for Science. The mook leads you on to a lovely set of stone double doors, behind which is a small audience chamber(about 20x40), complete with a short raised stage, and spots for you to plop down your own chairs(why spend money on complimentary chairs in a room that doesn't get used much?). A sign above the door helpfully marks it as the War Room.

Standing on the stage having a chit-chat are three individuals, each of them dressed to remind you that they're more important than the candle-head that brought you here. There's a green-skinned kobold in a lab coat, which is stuffed to the brim with pens and pencils; a large looking orc in chainmail that you seem to recall hearing something about him being the Captain of the Guard; and a red half-dragon of sorts, though it's hard to make out the exact pedigree of where his other half comes from. They seem to be waiting on someone, most likely you.

OOC Go make introduction posts, describe yourself to other people, what you do upon being ferreted in, that sort of thing.

[Cuross]

Claw shambles out of his cage, "S-S-Step, S-Step, S-Step, heehee~!. Walking, Walking, Walking~!" He doesn't have the slightest clue where he's walking to, he has to be pointed in the proper direction about four times, and about a half dozen times he tries to steal the candle hat off the kobold.

Once he gets into the War Room they set him down on a spot and he stares blankly into space. The other critters crowding around him start making a game of which eye will start rolling in which direction. His tongue hangs limply out one side of his mouth, while every few seconds a snort of fire will buzz out of his mouth. His pale green scales bring a feeling of motion sickness to anyone staring for too long, but it's hard to distract yourself long enough before playing the guessing game with his eyes. However, after careful inspection, you can notice that his eyes are actually following different objects, they seem to have totally different interests. Especially when he's catatonic like this.

[Caput]

Khalla waves goodbye to the scientists and stretches her arms as she slithers along. She slides in circles around the koblold as he walks along, happy to be able to move again. "Whoosh!"

When she reaches the place where the chairs would be, she sits on her tail and addresses her masters. "Hi, War Room."

[Kshnik]

Jasper cocks his grey head to the side as his large sharp ears twitch catching all the sounds of his fellow patients opening their cage doors. Jasper nods his head, as if answering a question, stands up, stretches out his three foot frame. He steps toward the front of the cage and opens the door. Jasper looks around verifying the others are out before he steps forward. Once out of the cage Jasper eyes become glossy as his body begins to expand. After a dozen or so heartbeat Jasper body grows from three feet in height to almost ten feet. Jasper smiles, a crazy smile, and whispers happily to himself, and skips forward.

As the groups follows the kobold down the passage Jasper shrinks, his face changing from a smile to a growl and after a few heartbeats changes to a calm exterior. Jasper body enlarges and shrinks a few times as the party travels down the hall. Those watching carefully can quickly spot a pattern in Jaspers facial and body expressions and his whispering, dependent on which form he is in at the moment. While Jaspers form is large his expression and verbal communication is either calm or manically happy and when his form is short his expression and verbal communication is either calm or very angry. Jasper continues to whisper to himself during the whole trip.

Jasper glances up at the sign above the door that read War Room and could be heard to whisper the following words The sign says War Room…. before his voice gets to soft and garbled. As they step into the room Jasper looks up at the three on the stage and his body begins to grow and with a stern look of concentration stops and shrinks down as words escape his lips Not now. Jasper bows before he steps back into the shadows.

[GeoAvanti]

Heulwen's first need and desire is to streeeeetch out once she is free of that accursed, and altogether unnecessary cage. She is not addled or altogether terribly distressed, but she is quite pleased to finally be free of that cage. As much as she wants to bound around with the few moment =s of her new found 'freedom', she is still in the process of attempting to master walking on four feet.

More than a few times, she stumbles over her own hands.... feet... paws, though she is in no danger of impacting the floor with her face because of it.

She takes a moment to observe her fellow patients during the walk, most of which seem to be... peculiar, though certainly not as aloof or proper as the sphinx holds herself to be. The kobold is just another kobold, so it does poorly at holding Heulwen's flighty attention, despite it's behavior and presence as one of them. The snake-lady seems.... clingy, and Heulwen has to fight the terrible urge to pounce at the end of the snake's tail. Thankfully, the not-so-miniature addition keeps her entertained with his size-chaning antics. Small. Big. Small. Big. Small... Angry. Big... Happy. It's funny, and the logical pattern is something that Heulwen hones in on immediately, such consistency and predictability in motion being a magnet for her attention.

She only vaguely notices the room they enter, entranced as she is with the... oddity of her fellow experiments. Thankfully, Heulwen is now a quadruped. She has little need for such things as chairs these days; she lays down, folding her wings tightly against her back, and awaits the important-looking critters to speak.

[Tsukos]

A small, foot-tall sprite has been pounding at the bars of her cage almost nonstop for a long time; she is one of the relatively few who continues to resist her captors.

This is only partly out of indignation at her capture. The rest of it is because she has not had the opportunity to rip someone's head off in quite some time.

When the cage door opens, the scientists leap back, afraid of the otherworldly fury of the tiny fairy powerhouse: despite her small stature she was still stronger than most the scientists, and most of the other 'experiments'.

It is the Kobold miner who almost receives her wrath. Almost, because he manages to get across the word 'war' between their mutual lack of understanding of the common tongue.

"Mayrie guess war good!" she says, entirely too cheerful at the prospect of death and mayhem as she follows the others. She doesn't bother to sit, her light frame allowing her to, well, flutter about with little enough effort. She spies the orc and attempts to growl threateningly... it really just makes the small blue sprite seem cute. Not that anyone with sense would call her that, if they knew what she was capable of.

[Fragmaster01]

The orc facepalms at your... unique style of entrance. Truly a band of champions, these new arrivals. "Right..."
Candle-Kobold leaves, closing the door behind him in a practiced manner that neither spills hot wax on his face, nor sets the door on fire. While he is an expert of his craft, his illumination skills are no longer needed here.

The lab-coated one pipes up. "Well then! Let's get down to business." He wiggles his hands in a strange gesture, and the lights fade, letting images and noises appear in the air in front of you; an amusing show to keep you occupied for hopefully a few minutes.


Welcome to the Vanguard! The font is tacky, and clearly designed to impress lesser children drafted into service. "Here in our many colonies, we all like to enjoy our happy way of life. But... there is a problem." The narrator drops very deep and menacing for that last word, and the happy text is replaced by an image of a very nasty looking human... thing in plate-mail. He's missing a few teeth, and is wearing a small goblin corpse as a very un-fashionable hat.

"The forces of Them. Soldiers. Knights. Worst of all... Paladins. Those who would like nothing better than to end our way of life, just to fill their own wicked desires." The image mercifully fades, and you're returned to the happier voice. "But there is also hope, in each and every one of you! With your help, the Vanguard can help keep us all safe, secure, and free to live as we see fit!" There's an image of a goblin family being happy and such, with some very fine print at the bottom pointing out that this is not an allowance to disobey the laws of the colony, as such is treason and will be punished in a gruesome yet comical manner.


The lights come back on, the short intro having run its course. While it's hard to make out, the orc appears to be asking the lab-coated one if such a goofy presentation is really necessary. The kobold is offended by the orc's refusal to follow the proper pomp and circumstance of sending young warriors off to die horribly.

The half-dragon speaks, with a quick eye-roll: "Now that that's taken care of... From this day forward you'll be serving in the 1st Special Ops squadron of the Vanguard. In case any of you are familiar with the Saboteur squads, know that it's not the same thing, and you won't be blowing buildings sky high. ...usually. Rather, we have some more... special assignments for you... people." He has succeeded at restraining himself, and has avoided calling you all "things" or something more offensive than that.

[Caput]

Khalla bends sideways to Heulwen's ear. "Pssst. What did the writing say? It went away too fast."

When she's told she won't be blowing up buildings, she can't hold in a small "Aw", but she perks up again when told how special her job will be. "Oooooh."

[Tsukos]

"Mayrie no read." the sprite grumbled. She also didn't much care about the happy goblin pictures or the nasty knight.

"Dragon-thing! Tell Mayrie who kill!" she said, obviously intending to kill something in short order.

[Kshnik]

Jasper, in small form, angrily mutters Words not important in response to the various questions from the others beside him. As the images of soldiers in armor appear, Jasper size begins to increase and, once he reaches his full height and weight, laughs loudly We fight Paladins soon followed quickly by a calm Shhh. Jasper maintains his calm demeanor as the half-dragon speaks to the group shrugging his shoulders, a physical gesture showing the unimportance of the name of the group they will be joining, and then he begins to shrink.

Jasper, now back in small form, disposition changes to a grin, not a happy grin, but more of a malevolent grin, as his companion, the bug thing, words bring to light the real reason the group is there. Jasper continues to stay in the shadows as he eagerly waits for a response.

[GeoAvanti]

The video is... appalling in how atrocious its sense of taste is. Rather, the sense of taste of these monsters, and it takes a great deal of effort to not follow the Orc's response to the video. The fact that her hands also had sharp claws-- and whatever else she may have stepped on recently-- was also a mitigating factor in her choice to restrain herself.

When the naga leans over to whisper her question, Heulwen looks over and responds to her in a very succinct manner. "They are greeting us. Now they are going to tell us how and where they want us to go and be violent." He tone is polite yet... distant, aloof, as if she is only a spectator to the events now and in the immediate future. "That Mayrie butterfly has got the important bit right," Heulwen adds with a deviously feline grin.

She listens to the Half-Dragon. Why? Because he seems like the one who is really in charge here. "Your words are meaningless unless you are telling us what these 'missions' are," Heulwen titters merrily, gladly playing the word games she enjoys so much. "You should save your fiery breath and just tell us what you want. Not all of us have the mind of a... blueberry danish." Her tail flicks back and forth behind her; she is having fun with this game.

[Tsukos]

"Mayrie think Mayrie insulted by lion-girl. Mayrie like lion-girl, but not enough to let insult go." the sprite said to the Blueberry Danish comment. Despite her broken use of Common she was intelligent enough to pick up on it.

Of course, she was also on a hair-trigger temper right now...

[Kshnik]

Jasper, lost in thoughtful conversation with himself, only hears the last few words of the cat bird girl and those words, images of his mother’s cooking, and the hunger in his belly, capture his attention and causes him to grow. Once at full height, Jasper face contorts as if he is in a struggle and then a huge smile appears on his face as he turns, steps forward, to face the speaker, the one who spoke the glorious words Did I hear right we are to have Blueberry Danishes? Mom made the best Blueberry Danishes.

The smile fads as Jasper catches the words of the bug girl and an understanding of what was previous stated, he steps backwards to his original position within the shadows and begins to shrink No desert... Misunderstanding... Though, they would be good right now. And so would some hair on my head. Jasper shrinks down to his small self and as he fades into the shadows a sadden look can be seen on his face.

[Cuross]

Throughout the Half-dragon's speech, Claw appears to not even notice the images being displayed before them. He does seem to be focusing on the Half-dragon, but otherwise his eyes seem to remain unfocused. After the speech, when Heulwen mentions blueberry danishes, Claw can no longer remain in his stupor. "Blueberry danish? Where is bl-bl-blueberry danish?" His tail wags rather happily in a blur that is totally imperceptible to the naked eye. "Wait, that was a mean thing to say." However, a moment later he starts squealing about blueberry danishes.

"Wait, when we fight bad guys?"

[Fragmaster01]

Tonight, if you can manage it. We'll be dealing with this thing: The lab-coated one holds up a picture of a sheepish looking human. Blond hair, abhorrently perfect posture, plate-mail armor. This is Elmer, the first-born son of one of the most abhorrent of paladins, Everest the Vigilant. From what we've learned, there is to be a ceremony in Anserona tomorrow, to commemorate him setting out upon the path of the Paladin, or some such nonsense.
While he is not on the same level as his father, he is still quite a menace, and not one we would like to deal with just yet. We'll settle for something more amusing.

The lab-coated one swaps for another picture, this one of a rather pretty looking sharp stick. Excellent paint job, lots of sharp edges to poke people with. Part of the 'ceremonies', we've learned, is him accepting one of his father's weapons, the Spear of Leadership, and using it for acts too gruesome to consider here. We're always in the market for a good weapon, and here we have the chance to get one, and make our little friend here appear as the moron he probably is.

New Orders!
Primary Objective: Steal the Spear of Leadership from the human town of Anserona.
Secondary Objective: Kill whomever gets in your way.
Tertiary Objective: Snag some of the party food for yourself. It's probably rather tasty.
Tertiary Objective: Don't die too much.