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  #1  
Old Oct 21st, 2017, 11:52 AM
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On the Block - Lydklein

Welcome to the Writer's Block! This thread will be your personal classroom, and it in you will proceed through a series of lessons and exercises intended to bring out the best writer in you.

For your first task, I'll need you to go through your existing games and find me three posts emblematic of your work. They needn't be your best or your worst -- we're just looking for some average representations of your writing style. Try to vary the context a bit if you can (combat, diplomacy, etc).

Note: You can use the ones you posted in your application, but we need to have a record of them here. They'll be useful later!
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Old Oct 21st, 2017, 12:34 PM
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Ok, on it.
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Old Oct 21st, 2017, 12:37 PM
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Sample 1: Brinna my barbarian. Opening post.Link
Sample 2: Nomi my ranger. Battle sequence.Link
Sample 3: Vissandra my Swashbuckler. Emotional moment.
Link

The second is pretty typical of my combat writing. I think.
Let me know if the link are wonky.
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Old Oct 21st, 2017, 01:29 PM
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The first one is a private link, so I can't see it. You'll either have to choose a different one or reproduce it inline (i.e. edit it and copy the markup).
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Old Oct 21st, 2017, 02:25 PM
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Sample 1:
 
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Old Oct 23rd, 2017, 08:59 AM
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Great! We'll come back to those later. In the meantime, here's how this works:

The Writer's Block is broken down into 10 lessons, each of which targets a specific area of PBP writing. Our goal is to guide you toward finding your own unique style and leveraging it in the context of forum gaming by showing you techniques that make game posts more interesting and informative for your DM and the other players.

On my side, I come from a technical background (computer engineering), but I've always been fascinated by writing and storytelling. D&D was a natural extension of the two since it's such a beautiful blend of creativity and number crunching. My strengths revolve primarily around bringing my characters to life and maintaining excellent grammar, and I was honoured with Post of the Year in 2014. My primary weakness would probably be brevity, but we'll get to that later.


_______________________________________

Lesson 1
_______________________________________

PREFACEAs a player (or GM), your goal is to write a good, solid post each time you interact. One way to think of a good, solid post (GSP) is to think in fours:

A GSP contains a DESCRIPTIVE element, a HOOK (or ENGAGE) element, an ACTION element, and a MOTIVE element. Getting one, two, or all three into a post will help your fellow gamers out, and improve the quality of your post. Not all posts will have every element, and they don't need to be in any order, but the more you can work into a series of posts, the better.

I like trying to include these four elements because they give a GM (and other players) reminders of who you are, and give them little hooks to latch onto in their responses, i.e. it helps to ENGAGE your fellow gamers. It also tends to help the GM when the time comes to write THEIR posts, and honestly, anything you can do to help a GM makes you a better and more memorable player. It also helps the GM, because he is usually summarizing your posts in his own during combat, so knowing that you use daggers (for instance) is nice. So, your post shouldn't be that you simply "swing your weapon;" instead, use your MACE. Better yet, CRUSH them with your MORNINGSTAR. It lets your GM add spice and flavour to the post too, without having to open six threads and look to see what weapon you favour. It can't always be done, and sometimes you just have to do your thing with your post. But it helps, and if you practice, you will improve. The more info YOU provide your GM, the better for him/her to remember you and use. The same goes for your fellow players.

for exampleYOU know that you have a half elf archer, named Desethet, but for a long while, your fellow gamers and GM don't really know that. People forget things in between posts, and you should remember, most people who play here in one game are probably playing in another 3, 4, or 6 games at the same time. It may be a day, two days, or even a week since they've looked over and thought about the game, so do what you can to keep your PC fresh in their minds. Most players become focused on themselves, and people won't click open six pages of threads in order to find your character background. So, help them out. Use it every post, when you can. Give them your name, your race, age/gender, class, etc. right there in the game thread they are reading.


A good rule of thumb is to try to not use the same term to describe your character twice in a row. The first time you mention them, use their name. Then, instead of their name the second time, use their class. Then, switch up, and use their gender, age, race, ethnicity, etc. before you repeat.

exampleKari wasn't sure if she liked the idea. The half-elf had never trusted wizards, especially those who seemed to offer free gifts. "No strings attached?" the druid asked, doubting it even as the words tripped across her lips. She hadn't live to the ripe age of fifty without learning to listen to her instincts.


Element 1: Descriptive elementsEvery post you make should contain some descriptive elements about YOUR PC when you can work it into the post, without becoming "clunky".

NAME, RACE, GENDER, WEAPON, and CLASS are common descriptive elements that can be sprinkled about in almost all game posts. I think almost every post should contain your PC's NAME, period. There might be a time it isn't appropriate, but that's a rare, rare post.

Gender and Race are usually easy to work in (except, for some odd reason, HUMAN). But once again, unless it's blatantly obvious from your PC's name (Queen Anne), working your gender into most posts is going to help cement your PC's persona into the minds of others. If you are playing a character in a game who has a bit of fey/faerie in him, use Wildling, Feyling, Feytouched, Fey, Fairie, Faerie and rotate through them as you speak of his actions. This is just to remind everyone else in the game that he's not human, he's a bit of a nature child.

Class is usually easy to work in, but it can become easily overdone. For some variety, head to your lexicon for some synonyms. Tired of saying "wizard" all the time? So is your GM, most likely. Try mage, arcanist, conjurer, thaumaturge, evoker, etc.. And remember, "spice"; a sprinkle here, a dash there, not slathered on like roofing tar.

Another descriptive element can be an idiosyncrasy, a tic, a habit, a peculiar mannerism, a physical characteristic or attribute that helps define your PC as well. This is up to you, but many gamers find it helpful to have something unique about their PC, to help identify them, and make them stand out in a crowd(ed post). That may seem like a lot, but if you practice it, it becomes second nature.


Element 2: Hooks or Engaging elementsEvery post you make should contain, if possible, some action or event to link/hook/engage/snag the other players. The simplest of hooks is to use other player's names, or to refer back to the DM's post and use elements from that. It sounds simple, but everyone loves seeing their name (or their PC's name) in a post. A slightly more useful engagement is to ask other player's a question, or to interact with the DM's NPC's through actions or questions. Lastly, it's very powerful to tie in an action of theirs into yours, or suggest an action in your post that they can carry on in their own.

In large parties, you aren't likely to hook every person and every NPC in each post, but you can try to spread them around across several posts, trying to weave your story with theirs. Remember, you aren't just gaming with the DM and his monsters, you are gaming with other players as well, so respond to their actions, include them in your post, and you'll find your posts more interesting. Your fellow gamers will too!


Element 3: Action elementsEvery post you make should contain some kind of ACTION that forwards the plot. Sometimes, this is easy: you swing a sword or cast a spell, or jump across a moving platform. Other times, it can be harder, because you may feel there's little you can do while in a tavern waiting for your contact to arrive, but remember, you can look, drink, listen, twist in your chair, etc.. You don't have to simply sit perfectly still and wait.


Element 4: MotiveA good post doesn't just describe what the character is doing, it gives us some window into their mindset and why they're doing it. This is especially true of quiet or taciturn characters, who may simply never hold many conversations with others, or those otherwise without much dialogue, and of deceitful characters. Motive can often be shown in thoughts, and the use of thoughts (formatted in italics) can also set your post apart. Getting inside the mind of your PC, especially in mid action, can allow for some VERY expansive posts, and properly done, can give us great insight into their egos, motivation, and emotions.


By giving others these reminders, these descriptions, you encourage them to draw you into their posts too, and increase the ties between PC's, so it isn't just a bunch of people posting their own actions, it's an INTERACTION. It actually becomes a collaborative writing effort between your post and your fellow gamers.





Exercise 1.1

Please improve the following post by rewriting it using any number of the four narrative elements (Descriptive, Engagement, Action, Motive). You can add elements, ideas, even other players into the post as needed.

Quote:
Tobias searched the body of the dead goblin, to see if there was anything else of importance. He kept his weapon ready in case something else surprised him. Don't want to be surprised, he thought.
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Old Oct 23rd, 2017, 12:43 PM
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Tobias took a moment to catch his breath before kneeling by the body of the little goblin. Blood slowly pooled beneath it's body as the man began searching around for his missing medallion of Bahamut. The little bugger had stolen it off of him as he slept. The paladin grumbled about his own inability to hear the little thief before it had made of with his symbol. Thankful for having the forethought to lay his longsword at the ready, he continued to search. Don't want to be surprised, the young man thought to himself, glad his comrades were not here to give the holy warrior a good ribbing.
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Old Oct 23rd, 2017, 12:46 PM
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Good start! Take a moment to isolate and explain each of the narrative elements used in your post.
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Old Oct 24th, 2017, 11:54 AM
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Descriptive elements:
-The use of his name, Tobias in the first sentence.
-Referred to him as "the man" to help identify his race as human.
-Mentioned Bahamut which helps the reader identify Tobias as a religious man.
-Clarified his devotion by describing him as a paladin.
-Also, referred to him as a "young man" to hint at his youth.

Engagement-
-Mentioned his fellow paladins by using the phrase "his comrades" and suggesting her would be teased by them for losing his medallion
-Reprinted his thoughts as was given the sample text(?)

Action-
-His search of the goblin's body.
-Mentioning Tobia's catching his breath and blood pooling under the goblin suggesting a fight had just ended.

Motive-
-His stolen medallion was motive for Tobia to give chase and search the goblin's corpse as it was very important to the paladin.

Hope I was able to isolate the right areas. Really don't do well with homework. Always panic or over think things.
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Old Oct 24th, 2017, 01:36 PM
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Well no pressure! There's a lot of content on the block (10+ lessons with multiple exercises in each), but there's no rush to get through it. I'm not a task-master in this: I am a guide, meant to help you work through the lessons in a way that helps you reach your full potential. If you ever have any questions, or you need a change of pace, let me know.

Now, for the exercise at hand.

Descriptive: Perfect. The only thing I'd note here is that you also mentioned that he uses a longsword, which is another detail that helps the other players form a picture of your character in their mind.

Hook: Not quite. Simply mentioning other characters (PC or NPC) does nothing to draw them in, which is the purpose of the hook. A hook might be something like: "Hey Jim, take a look at this!", pulling in the other character by giving them something to work off of when they make their next post.

Action: There are two actions in this post, but they are both encompassed in your first point of searching the body. "Catching his breath" is something he did, technically, but it does nothing to drive the plot or the scene forward.

Motive: Perfect.

Keep those notes in mind as we move to the next exercise.



Exercise 1.2

Same as before: improve the post below using any number of the four elements. Remember to isolate and explain the elements that you've chosen to use in your post,

Post
The paladin reeled from the pain and hissed at the spider as though he suddenly gained some knowledge of how they communicate. It seemed as though he too would need to reevaluate the expected tenacity of his opponent.

Being mindful of the furniture, Slyter did his best to get the nightmarishly large creature flanked by seat or sofa before lashing forward again.
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Old Nov 4th, 2017, 11:05 PM
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The paladin reeled from the pain in his thigh. The monstrosity had dare to bite him. It was unacceptable that such a dark natured creature had gotten the best of him. Drenched in sweat, the long haired knight promised himself he would never leave himself so vulnerable able. Or at least have the dignity to die in the attempt. Bracing himself, the blond man locked eyes with It and hissed at the spider as though he suddenly gained some knowledge of how they communicate. It seemed as though he too would need to reevaluate the expected tenacity of his opponent. This human was no easy prey, either.

No, this was the newly knighted twenty year-old's maiden quest. He would not fail Bahamut. There was a drive to prove his worth to his god and if that meant facing down and slaying this black-hairy fiend in order to clear the head clerics summer home, then so be it.

Staying focused, a plan began to form in the holy man's mind. Being mindful of the furniture, for it was now strewn everywhere, Slyter did his best to get the nightmarishly large creature flanked by seat or sofa before lashing forward again. With a well trained slash and parry, he ignored the sweat dripping down his face. Rewarded with success, the paladin ignored the sickening wet sounds made as his sword sunk deep into the arachnid's abdomen. It let out a great hissing sound before collapsing into a twitching pile of bristly legs.

"I did it." He croaked, surprise woven in every syllable. Stumbling back, Slyter let the weight of his armor pull him down into the welcoming comfort of the head cleric's favorite armchair.

Elements.
DESCRIPTIVE: Describing he the spider, Slyter having long hair, being sweaty, gave his age, described what type of paladin (knight)
HOOK: He is trying to prove his worth by succeeding in his initial quest as a recent graduate of paladin training/school/thing I made up.
ACTION: Killed the spider.
MOTIVE: Succeeding in his quest in his god's name. Proving he is worthy.

Might have confused Motive and Hook. (yeah more than likely)
Sorry this took so long. Been busy few weeks. Am a bit tuckered out right now so the isolation of the elements is sloppy, I know. Did what I could to fill out the post with my best efforts though. Hope it works.

Thanks for your patience!
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Old Nov 5th, 2017, 04:48 PM
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No worries! I've been busy too, but in the end the block is meant to move at your pace. I'm a guide in this, so there are no deadlines.

Now then...

DESCRIPTIVE: Almost. Hair (though you mentioned is was blond, not long), age, holy warrior stuff: all good. Being sweaty is less descriptive unless you take it in the context of his lack of endurance or the amount of work he's had to do thus far. It's a bit of a harder sell there.

The spider, however, doesn't count. Remember, DESCRIPTORS (as a narrative element) are used to remind the others involved in the campaign of details about your character, and describing the spider doesn't do that.

HOOK: You haven't actually included a hook in this post. If anything, "proving his worth" would be a motive. Hooks are a little harder to include, though they aren't often that necessary.

ACTION: This is a bit of a problem. Your goal was to rewrite the post by adding narrative elements, but you took it a step further by adding a conclusion. Your actions should have been to flank the spider with the furniture (move) and attack with your weapon (standard) -- the result of the attack would be provided by the DM's next post. Try not to get ahead of yourself.

MOTIVE: As previously mentioned, trying to prove his worth would have been a good option here, but the fact that the spider's evil and he hates it because he's a paladin would have been a good enough reason to kill it.

I think you're getting the hang of this, but we've got some more exercises. Let's move on to the next.



Exercise 1.3

Same as before: improve the post below using any number of the four elements.

This time, as an added challenge, make sure you provide a concrete hook.

POSTGregor looked around the room suspiciously. There didn't seem to be anywhere for a creature to hide. He slowly climbed the stairs and examined the door to determine what kind of material it was made of, what kind of key it might take, and if he could see any traps
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Old Jun 11th, 2019, 10:51 AM
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Hi there! Haven't heard from you in a while, but if you'd like to proceed with the lessons I'm still here
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Old Oct 10th, 2019, 06:09 PM
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Lesson continuedGregor looked around the room suspiciously. There didn't seem to be anywhere for a creature to hide. He slowly climbed the stairs and examined the door to determine what kind of material it was made of, what kind of key it might take, and if he could see any traps.



The lithe skulker pressed himself against the cold stone wall as he eased himself closer to the staircase. He had heard the rumors of a beast that guarded the room above, but had never seen it himself. Talking to the resident help brought out stories of the dangerous monster that lurked beyond the stairs where he now found himself. The stories had brought on nightmare after nightmare for the youth, but he didn't care. He desperately needed to get into the room above. Taking care to peer deep into the shadows one by one, Gregor inched forward. Sweat plastered the mop of sandy brown hair to his dirt stained forehead. His nerves were on edge even as his sharp hazel eyes told his mind that the way ahead was clear. Noting the direct line upwards that the stairs took, the boy tiptoed forward towards the unassuming rectangular slab that stood waiting for him ahead. The steps just barely creaked beneath his feet as he moved closer to his goal. The softer creaking of his leather jerking appearing much loader to the frightened boy's ears.

Step by step he crept forward until he was kneeling before the plain door with it's oiled bronze knob and lock. A cursory look told the keen eyed human the door was wooden. Probably run of the mill standard oak, but it was carefully crafted and polished smooth by an attentive hand. Before even touching the door he ran his eyes up along the edges of the doorway up, around and then down its frame trying to determine if any visible traps had been set up. His reputation at stake he took his time, keeping an ear open for any movement or signs of a creature coming up behind him. When he was done pulled his attention the the lock itself. Wiping away the sweat that had dripped into his eyes Gregor slipped his long fingers into his satchel preparing to pull out his precious lock picking set. He just had to get into the head master's office. If he could fetch that letter to his parents he could stave off a very painful conversation for another day.

If Gregor was anything, besides a disappointment, it was an avoider. And he desperately wanted to avoid seeing his father's disappointment again.
OOCI hope this is OK.
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Old Oct 11th, 2019, 09:00 AM
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Great to have you back! For the second part of the exercise please highlight and explain the uses of the four narrative elements in your rework of the post.

As a reminder, the four elements are:

Descriptive: Elements that remind the reader of your character's characteristics, i.e. race, class, gender, appearance, equipment, personality, etc.

Hook: Something that another player (or possibly the DM) can latch onto when they write their post after yours

Action: What your character does in the scene

Motive: Why your character takes their action, or something that indicates what their motivation is to be in this scene or on this quest
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