[PF-1e] The Forsaken Plane: The Plane of The Elder Evils

[WhiteStag]

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Application Name: Jonathan Rawncer Race: Human Class: Bloodrager - Golden Draconic Bloodline (Archetypes: Blood Conduit & Primalist) Alignment: Neutral Good Place of Origin: Forsaken Plane - Baleford: Dementileau Providence Why chosen by Dark Powers: Rawncer is a man of very strong morals and ethics; The Dark Powers wish to temper and test his merit. His spontaneous mutations cause great inward torment. They are both a very strong tool and a heinous curse if not controlled accordingly, and this is where he is being tested; can he safely wield these commanding powers without going overboard into unnecessary destruction. He feels he is constantly holding back a devil that lives inside himself. In actuality, he might very well be a descendant of a great Lord, and a descendant of the great Lawful Good, Golden Dragon Bloodline - that he has yet to comprehend. Until then, he must cope with his new and budding abilities, learn to wield them safely, and remain discerning to whom is indeed friend and who is the true foe. His inner raging strength must be kept on a very tight leash as to not cause him to do things he will surely regret. Personality and Appearance: His life has not been easy in any respect at all. Growing up in poor towns with crime around every turn, was his normal upbringing. His good looks and striking appearance got him into much trouble from envious people. He was a good boy that cared about the well being of the common folk, and for this reason, bullied to no end by jealous individuals that simply don't understand him. Because of much of this, he is very to himself. His talents, his charisma, his good looks have all got him into many difficult situations; with women and jealous men, competitive military rivals, and corrupt magistrate and authority figures. He is said to be wise beyond his years; predicting outcomes accurately, a good judge of character, not being fooled very easily, diplomatic talents, and a gracious demeanor, all round out his ‘old soul’ personality. Standoffish is a common description of Jonathan also. Reluctance to get involved or even to take prominent positions in fear of others tearing him down, fear of taking on too many poignant responsibilities, are all common personal outlooks in his self image. Although, he is a gentleman when he feels safe to open up. He has a good heart in the end. He has maintained his morals and ethics that were cemented from a very young age, seemingly from birth. The “Golden Boy” was a nickname given to Jonathan that lingered throughout much of his life. He accepts the title with humility and a sense of hidden pride. His job as a supernatural investigator is difficult. He is confronted with dark and ugly situations on a routine basis, as are the hazards of the job. He feels like he must fulfill his duty to the best of his ability - with no choice of the contrary. He needs to do his part - to strive to unravel the evil powers. He believes he has a gift, a gift to stand in the midst of sheer darkness…. And to hold his ground, where others would have surely faltered. His most terrifying fear is the internal and psychological snap that takes hold of him when he sees injustice or evil acts done to good people. A great beast brims inside of him, that rages out of control sometimes. He constantly fears that he may go too far and kill innocent people. To sum it up, he has this unrelenting, burning desire to rid the world of evil-- without unfortunately killing everyone insight first… Background Narrative - Extra Material (entirely optional).   His mother has always been a secret follower of the man of Soft Golden Light. She was a poor woman, living in the small township of Baleford, just neighboring the great capital city of the Dementileau providence - where the revered Queen resides. Angelica, his mother, lived comfortably in solitude in a little cottage on the outskirts of her little township. Keeping to herself mostly, she didn't want to be involved with the comings and goings of village life; the drama, the competition, and struggle associated with communal poverty living, being very common in the providence. She simply tended to her vegetable garden and routinely journeyed into town to trade and sell her produce in exchange for her own necessities. This was her happy life. It was simple and natural, just as she liked it. Unfortunately, her neighbors considered her an oddity; always alone, keeping to herself like she lived some secret. In truth, Angelica had no secret, she greatly preferred to be left in solitude for reasons stated. Baleford, just like many other townships of the Dementileau providence, suffered routinely from evil dealings and occurrences, hauntings, witch accusations, mysterious murders, and sightings of hideous monsters. The towns people lived in a perpetual state of fear against these supernatural occurrences. Angelica felt safer alone in her cottage with her daily practice and prayer to her celebrated deity; The Saint of the Coming Dawn, banishing the shadows of the Dark Night - Morninglord. She prayed for safety each and every morning at sunrise, and affirmed the eventual ending of all evil activities that plague the helpless country. Sadly, her prayers went unanswered and seemed rather insignificant, insight of what eventually came to pass, one harrowing evening… Demonic hooligans, despicable thugs; a gang of outlaws descended upon Angelic's quiet little cottage one terrifying evening. Some say the gang stemmed from her local town Baleford, some say these worshipers lived in the forest as savages. What was disclosed for certain, was that they were acolytes, they were followers and enthusiasts of the Black Wolves. Five of these individuals broke into Angelic’s home while she slept; vandalized, terrorized, ransacked, and eventually, ruthlessly raped the helpless woman. She was on the brink of death as these marauders corrupted her… until something happened. A shift took place during the heinous act. Angelica became possessed. Something supernatural came over her. As her captures had their way with her, she came alive! Alive and infused with unexplainable strength, sheer viciousness, and tremendous power. In a split second, she turned the tables on the invasive thugs, managed to gain the upper hand, and clamped down her teeth in a violent rage, on the leading assailant that was atop of her! She bit down on his throat so devastatingly hard that he instantly died in that very moment, and collapsed lifeless in her bed. In her manic possession, she rose up and savagely attacked the next assailant with her bare hands, out matching and over powering them easily, killing them one by one, until the last invader fled in utter terror. The one survivor escaped to tell the story. He recounts the tale that she snarled and writhed, even slithered like a crocodile when she attacked them, or some other kind of reptile… maybe even a Dragon. Her eyes came alive with this frightful Golden Fire, and she clawed and tore flesh and bone with her bare hands and ravenous jowls. His other four friends were mangled severely, but he was able to escape. She stayed in the house that night when all came to a settle, she was afraid to move. She curled into a ball crying and trembling all night long in fear of demons flooding into the room and taking her mind to eternal madness - for her wanton and murderous actions…. The sunrise finally came. The Morning Light brought with it a mysterious and renewed hope. She felt vindicated, and fled into the forest, half naked and hysterical. She lived in the woods for weeks waiting for the situation and village commotion to die down. The village eventually condemned and forgot about the ransacked cottage, not giving it too much of a second thought. Angelica was an outcast in the eyes of the villagers after all. She was not missed. They did eventually forget about the whole event. At that time Angelica came out of hiding, and reclaimed her cottage without ever returning to notifying the rest of the town. She lived secretly in her thrashed and torn home, never repairing it either, as to not raise suspicion from the villagers that she had returned. She kept the child that was seeded in her from the rapist, gave birth to him in secret. The baby boy was birthed and left mysteriously in the town square of Baleford where he was eventually found, taken in, and adopted by the village. His mother fled back into the forest leaving her child behind, never to return, and never to be seen again. She never really understood what took hold of her that powerful night; the rage that inspired the violent killing of four young men. If it hadn’t been for her sudden burst of insanity, she would of surely died. ********* Jonathan grew to be a very handsome and strong young man. He was righteous. He was tall. He became an honest man of morals and ethics - very out of place among the rest of the village population. Baleford residents were sniveling, conniving, and loathsome, poverty stricken individuals. Unfortunately, Jonathan fell into the reputation of the outcast, much like his mother; too good for his people, always taking the honest route, being the nuisance and the voice of reason when no one else wanted to listen. He eventually paid his dues and grew old enough to move out and live on his own. He found new residence in the capital city where he spent the rest of his young life, up until the age of thirty-six. The capital city was no better than Baleford in terms of evil and corruption. Jonathan witnessed criminal acts just about every single day, as the poor people living in the capital city scratched a living by whatever means possible; stealing, vandalizing, murdering, however they could to get by in a oppressive feudal system. Jonathan grew to discover that he had a rage problem. He saw injustice, he saw suffering at the hands of wrong doers, and it spurred him into an uncontrollable defiance, a retaliation in the name of righteousness, as he tried to justify it. But in the end, he was still as bad as the people he tried to ‘correct.’ He couldn't stop himself when the perpetrator surrendered. He would go too far, usually to the point of death. On one occasion, he came upon a group of thieves that were in the act of robbing a respectable baker, managing his honest business. Jonathan lost control and killed every single one of the thieves that were involved, with his bare hands, tearing out some of the victim's’ vital organs with his strong nails. He was bloodthirsty. He was out of his mind, and consequently, he was arrested by the city patrol and imprisoned without a doubt or second thought of incarceration. Guard officials were impressed by Jonathan’s power and forced him into military service eventually. He did his tour in the service over a number of years and was released to return to a civilian life. Once back in the capital city to reunite with his wife, he finds that the town police has stolen her, and if he wants her back he must serve the Queen, and work as one of her Inquisitors and private investigators on occult and demonic occurrences. He finds himself recently dispatched by Chief Inquisitor Hedstrom, to report to Duke Jorgen to further investigate some murderous occurrences in the Duke’s township of Hofstra, where his story continues today. 10 Minute Background Concept Element: His mother, living on the outskirts of Baleford alone and secluded in a cottage, was attacked and raped, impregnating her with the baby to be born as Johnathan Rawncer. She abandoned him on the day of his birth and gave him up to the city of Baleford, where he was taken in and adopted by the village. No one in the village knows his true origins. At the age of ten his birth mother returned into his life, but as a mentor and teacher, still never revealing her true maternal relation. She educated young Johnathan on the ways of natural medicine and on the ways of The Morninglord. She instilled in him proper prayer rituals, codes of conduct, and strongly rooted morals of etiquette and honor that have stayed with the journeyman to this day. He is very disturbed by the physical changes he is going through; spontaneously growing scaly patches on his skin, mysterious magical capabilities around fire manipulation, along with his nails and fingers growing stronger and sharper like reptilian claws. These changes torment his thoughts. He feels he is turning into a monster--deeply desiring to hide his mutations and remain normal to fit in with his peers and the rest of the average society. Now at the age of thirty-six, the Queen’s Inquisitors have taken note of Johnathan’s blood powers and have forced him, by kidnapping his beloved wife, into governmental service as an investigator of demonic and supernatural occurrences. He has a rage problem. Having very little patience and tolerance for wrong doers, he will get very angry and fly off into a rage that is entirely out of his control. He has killed his assailants prematurely in the past, and even threatened innocent onlookers. His mutations will spontaneously arise in his emotional states. He is deeply afraid and shameful of his outbursts, but he knows that he needs these disturbing tendencies to combat the forces of evil. He sees himself as a loaded gun, so to speak. Every time he let's the beast within--loose, he loses a little more restraint and control for the next time. The next occurrence becomes even more tempting than the last. He is hopelessly conflicted; stay human and remain rather weak, or let the rage come forth, vanquish the evil, and then struggle immensely there after - in subsiding the raging adrenaline before he continues his rampage on any other innocent bystanders. Johnathan attributes his disorders to his mysterious birth mother that abandoned him on his birth. He believes to be a crossbreed of some nefarious demon. He actively seeks a cure for his abomination type tendencies. Although, he much rather learn to control his secret weapons rather than abolish them, seeing that his mutations have been the main reasons for surviving many terrible encounters. From a very young age, he's known that something is 'off' in everyday life. Hatred and abuse and selfishness and suffering all seem to be common place and indulged in continually, from the the poorest commoner, all the way up to the richest and most majestic people in the realm. He knows, without a shadow of a doubt, in his heart of hearts, that evil can not be tolerated. Suffering can not be aloud to propagate, and corruption of witchcraft and demonic outbreaks can not be left to their devices. Ever since he was a child, and absorbing many powerful lessons from his mentor(his mother), he knew he had a job to do, a torch to bare, a promise to uphold-- to strive to his last dying breath to bring forth the coming Dawn of Light, and to finally end the evil that is the Dark Night. In the end, every creature he vanquishes, makes his inner struggle with his rage worth it. Ridding the world of demonic and corrupt presences out weighs the inner conflict he needs to keep in balance. Goals: Player - Reach level 12 to gain ability of Dragon Form. Always a dream of mine. Goals: Character - Magistrate has kidnapped his wife, Cyranda. He is ever biding his time and plotting against the captors to rescue her… if she is still alive. Once he finds her, the two will flee together, and go into hiding. He will disappear from the Inquisitor profession, as was forced on him anyway, and he and his wife will restart a new life together. His passion for ridding the world of evil will still burn bright in his heart, but he will seek other avenues of expression. Secret: Character unaware - His wife is already dead. Well, dead as she once was. She has been corrupted and transformed her into a slave demon to serve an evil purpose. Secret: Character unaware - His childhood mentor is his birth mother. Secret: Character aware - He has learned that some of the government factions are in fact, responsible for the creation and summoning of various evil occurrences throughout the land. Connection to person: friendly - Judas Luris - Old friends from University. Because of his forced enlistment into the Queen's Inquisitors, he hates the law with a passion-- but he knows very earnestly, that he needs to keep his true feelings of hatred under a very tight lid, if he wants his wife back alive. Connection to person: friendly - Markus Fadlarn - Childhood friend - Saved him from evil fey abduction. Markus is one of his only true friends he has in this life. Markus has gone on to develop his natural alchemical studies, and has climbed the ranks of the Dementileau government. Connection to person: unfriendly - Captain of the guard - Rygor Turner, overseeing the Capital City, tortured him and forced him into military service after he was arrested for manslaughter. Captain Turner is most likely behind his wife’s kidnapping. Memory: He remembers his birth mother’s beautiful singing voice, the day she abandoned and left him for adoption. Memory: He still remembers the faces of the gathering towns people starring in horror down on him, as he hunches over four dead and mutilated bodies, lying open in the public street. These bodies were of a group of thieves vandalizing a local bakery. In his initial act of public service of protecting this respectable merchant from these thieves, he went too far in serving justice. The thieves did not deserve this violent death by any means. The blood on his face and the look in the public's eyes - are scared in his memory forevermore. Mannerism: He is an extremely sophisticated man, carrying himself with elegance, chivalry, and courtesy towards others. Mannerism: He's hard on himself much of the time, feeling like life is an uphill battle. When those few moments of humor and fun times crop up, he will crumble into laughter, relishing and being thankful for those good and savory moments. Quirk: If he doesn't get immediate obedience and submission from a perpetrator, even in a situation that is extremely minor such as a small domestic argument between lovers, or a policing guard acting too harshly to an undeserving citizen-- he will be tempted to intervene. And if the subject doesn't back down and heed Rawncer's commands, his blood will swell, and the rage within him will desire to be unleashed! Basically he kills too easily. He is constantly tested to extend restraint. Quirk: Knowledge of his wife's whereabouts cause him to brood with fervor and anger, sometimes to the point of violent demands and insistencies. Quirk: He will sit and gaze upon a candle light every evening, otherwise he will be tormented by nefarious dreams. Quirk: Johnathan loves watching children play... enjoying their beautiful innocence. Writing Sample: The baby screams its little head off in the corner of the room, as Rawncer stands there stern and defiant, eyeing down the gangling and skulking creature. He has finally cornered and confronted the perpetrator that has been behind the numerous child kidnappings of the township Hofstra. The creature displays across its charred and oily face, a long and sinister grin of carelessness and recklessness, clearly un-intimidated by the human inquisitor that stands strongly before it. Rawncer has cornered a Black Forest Demon in one of the villager’s homes at the very early hours of the morning. The creature stands very tall, almost touching the ceiling, bearing hairy and mangled talons as hands, animal horse-like legs and hooves as feet. Its chest is slashed and scarred numerous times with what looks to be self inflicted wounds, and his hideous face is crossed with human features, but protruding with an animal’s snout, long and curled goat horns, and deep black eyes of an endless abyss. The baby’s mother behind Rawncer cries and screams, "Please, PLEASE Johnathan, don’t let it hurt my baby!!" The creature snivels and sneers with the most sinister voice imaginable as it scolds Rawncer in an abyssal tongue. But before it can even utter its words, "I don’t want to hear your words of darkness you servant of the evil powers!!!" -Rawncer cuts the creature off prematurely. "I am here to bring you to your end. Your time is up demon! I will not let you continue your demonic deeds." The beast doesn't understand the inquisitor’s words, but recognizes his tone and emotions. It lumbers forward closer to Rawncer, but the inquisitor reprimands him further, this time with more of a shaky and nervous inflection in his voice. He knows that his brooding emotions within are raging violently, reaching that terrifying threshold he does not want to cross, "Beast, disappear now!! Leave this realm!! Or your being-- will be undone!" He doesn’t want to go any further than this. He's worried. He hopes the creature will heed his words. His heart begins to race and the heat from his blood begins to swell, coursing down into his hands and up into his face. Rawncer trembles now openly, furiously holding back his brooding sensations to burst into rage with the uncooperative monster. The demon lets out a commanding wail at the top of its lungs in sheer defiance and retaliation against the small human--spurring Rawncer to advance on him without the slightest disregard. That’s it. He’s lost it. Rawncer, being finally triggered by the demon’s threatening scream, cracks with thunder and rushes him with arms spread open, wielding gigantic golden-scaly dragon claws that have just been released from restraint. The furious inquisitor collides with the demon, rending his great claws left and right, tearing and mangling at its body, spewing black blood across the room and demonic flesh shedding in pieces around the floor. It only takes one moment of collision and the demon is down and deformed on the ground, lifeless and bubbling with internal fluids. The fight is over instantly. Rawncer, in a crouched position still enthralled with passion, turns his gaze to the collection of town’s people that stand in the doorway behind him. His face has begun to take shape of a reptile, and his eyes burn bright with a color of golden fire. In Draconic words, he barks at the bystanders to flee from the scene before he turns on them. The villagers don’t understand the Draconic words. Rawncer rises to his feet and advances on them with rage in his eyes, doing his very best to contain himself-- his inner beast wanting to continue its rampage so desperately. The villagers understand now! They bolt out of the room instantly, leaving Rawncer to contort down onto his knees, suppressing his frenzied emotions, while his fury slowly dissipates--breathing and panting heavily, and eventually falling unconscious in a fetal position for the next few moments.

[Xian]

@dbaque/@Zealot,

Great apps. I have left you some feedback.

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

[Xian]

@White Stag,

I am at the end of my candle for the night, but will endeavor to give you a more thorough review tomorrow! Appreciate the great effort that I see in this application already!

Cheers, Xian

[Zealot]

Originally Posted by Xian

@dbaque/@Zealot,

Great apps. I have left you some feedback.

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

Thanks!

[dbaque]

I hope you are feeling better, Xian. And thanks for the feedback.

[WhiteStag]

Application is updated with your critiques. Thank you for taking the time. App Here

[grifter730]

Information Race: Human? Aasimar? Tiefling? Class: Bard (Flame Dancer Dirge Bard) Alignment: Chaotic Good Appearance and Personality: Wrapped in white bandages in several places throughout his body, but the uncovered parts are beautiful and unblemished. He wears an exotic black mask inlaid with gold to cover the top scarred half of his face, and a tricorn black hat. His voice did not go unscathed in the fire, and he speaks as if he's been swallowing smoke and razors, growling out pithy sentences. Place of Origin: Recent graduate of the famed Kitharodian Academy, Elric originally hailed from Cheliax. Ten-Minute Background:   Step 1 - Background Concept Elements: - Grew up in decadence to wealthy nobles. He was highly charismatic, and tended to get his way. - Suffered a major tragedy in an opera house fire during his grand performance. - Came out physically and mentally scarred, so much so that his voice was damaged and altered. His entire life changed that night. He could no longer face the beautiful lady he was to wed. He could no longer perform on stage. - He's always been vain, but now he’s also bitter, though tempered by having been humbled by the fire. Yet people are people, and such vanity is not so easily discarded or covered, even masked as he is. - The fire tragedy sparked a burning desire in him to dominate and control the capricious element. Step 2 - Character Goals: - He seeks to restore himself back to his former self, and swears that he would gladly accept the scars if he could only gain his voice back, but in the dark moments he's not so sure whether he truly only wants his voice back, or if he would trade away his talents for his unblemished skin. - I’d love for this character to be challenged by his duality. Will he succumb to his vanity and wretchedness, or will he emerge from his trials a stronger man? Where is the line drawn for him to attain his old life back? Will he sacrifice his talents? Will he sacrifice others? Those types of trials would be great to explore. Step 3 - Secrets: - Elric’s family harbors a dark secret, earning their wealth in collaboration with dark forces. I’m intentionally leaving this vague to leave room for creativity. It could be things like working with drows to run a black market, or even having been involved in some royal/noble assassination in the past. Anything is fine. - Elric is unaware that the fire that disfigured him and changed his life was done with the knowledge of his beloved. This plot was hatched along with the Lion Blades, but not much beyond that is known. Step 4 - Character Ties: - Lady Celine Murray: Elric’s fiancée, and the only woman he’s ever truly loved. He would willingly suffer an eternity for her. - Jonathan Stokes: Elric’s closest friend, and a distant relative of Lord Merriweather Stokes, the Kitharodian Academy’s administrator. Never having recovered Elric body from the ashes of the opera house, he assumes Elric dead. - Ferdinand Villefort: Elric’s rival during his days at the Kith, the two hate each other with an enmity foul enough to commit murder. In fact, Elric highly suspected Ferdinand to be involved in the opera house fire. Step 5 - Memories, Mannerisms, or Quirks: - Bothered by the messiness of using bandages, Elric uses Sleeves of Many Garments to look fashionable and impeccably dressed. - His most cherished recollection of his beloved was secretly admiring her at the garden, where the sunlight hit a single bead of her sweat, and watching the slow roll of it down her neck. - He speaks in a very cultured manner, one who could never escape his noble upbringing no matter how long he’s spent time in the darkness of the gutter. Step 6 - Attraction by the Dark Powers: - Elric is standing at the precipice of the abyss, where his soul battles to remain good, or forever be poisoned by bitterness. This closeness to the edge attracted the dark whispers to beckon him down to the pits. Initial Sample Post: From the Journal of Elric al Verna I leaned against the marble pillar and spied upon my sweet Celine with a mixture of anguish and delight. She was radiant even in the depths of despair. Those eyes! They once twinkled with the promise of youthful delights, and though now red and tired, they were not dimmed. I fear this madness could only be love. I would be burning with jealousy to see her comforted by my dearest friend Jonathan, but I know well Jonathan’s deepest secret, and so I am comforted that my love for both of them would not be severed by treachery. Still, if only I could comfort her once more. The time grows near. I must leave them both, and yet I cannot. In the quiet moments, I still imagine being embraced in their arms once more, to see no judgment in their eyes, but I was never one to wallow in the ephemeral for long. Though I do wish to confront them and lay bare my soul so that I would at least know the strength of our bonds, I cannot. I am a coward. I am selfish. And I am petty. For I wish her to wait for me even if it meant wasting away her youth. Do I truly love her so? It seems I am more capable of wishing happiness for Jonathan than I am for my supposed beloved. Questions to be answered for another day. Another night to watch from the shadows. I bid farewell, yet I know I can never truly depart. How I despise my lack of courage.

[grifter730]

Okay, I think I'm done with my application. I wasn't sure what races would be allowed, and figured it wasn't that important that it had to be decided now. I also may or may not be taking the Dirge Bard archetype. Depends on if I want to give a slight focus on battling undead (Secrets of the Grave from Dirge Bard), or a focus on his knowledge (Versatile Performance from normal Bard). Figured I'd discuss it with you (DM) before making that decision. If I am missing anything required for the first phase though, please let me know.

Oh, I wrote the sample post in a somewhat different way. Just felt it would have a more gothic feel being told in a passive form instead of current action. I can change it and write a proper one where he's doing stuff if required though.

[Xian]

Originally Posted by grifter730

Okay, I think I'm done with my application. I wasn't sure what races would be allowed, and figured it wasn't that important that it had to be decided now. I also may or may not be taking the Dirge Bard archetype. Depends on if I want to give a slight focus on battling undead (Secrets of the Grave from Dirge Bard), or a focus on his knowledge (Versatile Performance from normal Bard). Figured I'd discuss it with you (DM) before making that decision. If I am missing anything required for the first phase though, please let me know.

Oh, I wrote the sample post in a somewhat different way. Just felt it would have a more gothic feel being told in a passive form instead of current action. I can change it and write a proper one where he's doing stuff if required though.

Grifter730,

Looks good! I will take a look at it today.

@Team,

Sorry for the Houdini the last couple of days! I had to go get a procedure done for that neck irregularity that the doctors found to relieve the pressure and been hospitalized for a bit. Nothing big, but been without my computer for the last couple of days.

Anyway, I hope to get back on track today.

Appreciate the patience everyone!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

[Xian]

Team,

Brief feedback for all... appreciate everyone's patience. As my condition improves, I will provide more, but I hope that I have given each of you a bit of something to chew on!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

[dbaque]

Tweaked to incorporate some of the suggestions.

[Zealot]

Originally Posted by Xian

Team,

Brief feedback for all... appreciate everyone's patience. As my condition improves, I will provide more, but I hope that I have given each of you a bit of something to chew on!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

I will wait and see what you come up with.

[grifter730]

Thanks for the feedback, Xian!

[Xian]

Team,

As per my Sig, there have been some complications with a routine medical procedure I underwent. The fascist nurses are discouraging anything other than just laying and recovering. I just got discharged but have to go back in since I am now a surgical candidate for my spine... whatever that is supposed to mean.

Anyway, I will catch up with you all and give you some feedback. Thanks to all for your continuing interest. Also, if I don't get any new applicant in the next week, I will end the application process next week and then go through the selection cycle. Thanks!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

[Xian]

Originally Posted by dbaque

Tweaked to incorporate some of the suggestions.

Appreciate the tweaks and looks great! Unless you have any significant adjustments to make to his character, I will consider Aurelius' app to be complete!

Cheers, Xian