[Game Thread] We Be Licktoads - You Be Food!

[Ange]

You are proud goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn't bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.

Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos: writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There's no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin's face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.

That's where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface's poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad's Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn't pull off.

This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!

You've all gathered before the entrance of the Moot House in the very centre of the village, awaiting invitation from Chief Gutwad's advisor, Slorb, to enter. You know the others, at least vaguely; you all grew up here in the same village, after all. How they could be considered as heroic and powerful as yourself is questionable, however.

"Enter!" A high-pitched, nasally voice calls out from the chief's hut. That's got to be Slorb, the goblin with the most annoying voice in the tribe. But are you ready to face the utterly terrifying and infinitely powerful His Mighty Girthiness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad?

ooc Feel free to arbitrarily make relationships between yourselves, establish what the others might know of you, and generally speaking introduce yourselves before heading on in to the hut.

[NEON725]

OOC Since it hardly ever matters during the introduction, I'm going to come into the game thread blindly and without preparations, goblin style. My character sheet should be finished soon.

Goboom, for that was pretty much the only thing he said, was probably the guy that burnt down Scribbleface's hut. He would've stolen and kept the fireworks, but that would've meant less explodey, so he blew them all up instead. Singed a bit of himself too, but it's not as if that's never happened to a goblin. He was more famous than some of the other pyromaniacs in the village for one very important reason. When he made fire for the first time, it exploded. He had the misfortune of finding a piece of loot from a dead Sandpoint adventurer, you see, and he carried the charred, burnt, melted, and mangled oil can ever since. Also a box of little wax sticks that no one seems to know about.

Now, he stood here, in front of the chief's hut, but seemingly not at all interested in entering. The sulphur-smelling goblin was trying to burn a twig with a curved glass shard he had found earlier that day...

[LupusRegalis]

Nazt finished relieving himself on the Chief's hut at the sound of Slorb's screeching command. With a sharp tug on Pugh's harness and a growl to 'come' he slips past the others nearby, sending a sharp kick in Goboom's direction to get the fire-maker moving. He hurried up through and into the hut quickly after the kick, not wanting to be around for Goboom's reaction. He chortled meanly at the thought of what the goblin might do, hoping to see some fire, an evil smirk on his face.

Inside the chief's hut, Nazt prostrated himself and nattered away about his undying servitude, and all that loyalty, utterly lying his teeth off and not even trying to sound convincing. His other hand kept a tight grip on his pet, pushing the beast down as well. The whole while he's also wide-eyed and looking around the place for shinies he could grab, or some food. Either would be nice. Nazt cringed in place as Chief Gutwad shifted himself, and sent a sharp look to see if the goblin chief had noticed his casing of the joint. Inwardly, not daring to let it show, Nazt hated the fat Goblin for making him do this and wished for the day to come soon when it was Gutwad who was on the floor before him.

Pugh suddenly lashed out, taking a nip at Nazt's arm where it was holding him in place, obviously tired of being on the ground when here was a new place filled with new smells to investigate. Nazt cuffed the beast, but bounced up and let the goblin-dog up as well, before kicking Pugh and dragging him out of the doorway so the others could come through. There he crouched, fingering his dagger and watching with beady eyes as one by one the other goblins entered the hut, gripping tightly the harness that restrained his surly pet.

[Alesch]

Old One-Eye Gub, the greatest sorcerer in the Licktoad village if his claims are to be believed, limps toward the Chief's hut. He rests his weight on the strange magical staff that he is never seen without. Truthfully, Old One-Eye has no need of a walking stick, and most of the Licktoad tribe knows that he doesn't really have a limp. At some point, however, Gub had decided that feigning the decrepitude of old age would go a long way toward making the younger Licktoads respect his wisdom. Old One-Eye didn't maintain the illusion of frailty through any particular talent for acting, rather he maintained the illusion by blasting any goblin foolish enough to imply that he wasn't old enough to need a walking stick.

The elderly, but less elderly than he claimed, goblin pauses beside Goboom for just long enough to thump him with his staff. "Goboom, you idiot youngling," One-Eye admonishes, "The Chief has called you, get up and get in the hut 'fore His Girthiness has you fed to Ol' Lotslegs". The older goblin continues on into the hut, muttering under his breath about the sad, sorry state of the youth today.

[NEON725]

Goboom immediately disregarded the glass piece after being hit twice. "I'm not idiot, you are! Hit me again, I show you burning!" He yells loudly, and obnoxiously. He stamps his foot on the ground, but fails to look nearly as impressive as the dog.

[Jesse]

Irnk keeps his distance from the majority of those gathered before the chief's hut choosing to be as inconspicuous as possible. "Out of sight, stays out of Squealy hole" Irnk mutters to himself before stowing one of his many daggers in his sleeve. Seeing the others digging at each other Irnk becomes slightly entertained. "Time for more better" he says before he retrieves Glub-Glub, his two-headed white toad, from the carry-all container that resembles a longshanks stoppered jug. Upon retrieving the toad Irnk opens his wide mouth, revealing teeth sharp as daggers, and plops Glub-Glub in enjoying the sour tangy flavor that is shortly followed by a brine strong enough to pickle a toe in a matter of minutes. As Irnk begins to experience the effects of the the toad's excretions he swiftly enters the hut.

 

Dice Sleight of hand to conceal dagger:

1d20+8

(14)+8

Total = 22

[Batfan Brett]

ShakeSpear also stood away from Bigbelly's hut, trying to remain in the shadows but failing miserably as he loudly sang his latest song.
Leaning on his song-spear, ShakeSpear raised his beloved Hollara and began:

Scribbleface steal words
BOOM ! BOOM !
Scribbleface have words on face
BOOM ! BOOM ! BOOM !

Shakespear broke off the ditty long enough to laugh at the antics of Nazt and One-Eyed Gub, already starting to think of a new song: "Goboom get kicked, much laugh" and made his way to the tent of Bigbelly.
He straightened his bright-on-head, hiked up his bright-on-legs, and loudly started to sing again as he strutted thru the open door.

Scribbleface steal words
BOOM ! BOOM !
Scribbleface have words on face
BOOM ! BOOM ! BOOM !

ShakeSpear - not just the best fighter in the village, also the best at making an entrance.......

[Ange]

The motley crew of goblins eventually makes its way inside Chief Gutwad's hut, whether willingly or rather forcedly, serenaded all the way by Shake-Spear. Inside, the air is musky with sweat and filth—a pretty normal smell for a goblin living area, especially one located in the middle of a swamp. The Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics—crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered furry animals (mostly dogs). Of course, with Chief Gutwad and his advisor right there in front of them, even the greedy Nazt would have a hard time summoning up enough courage to try and snitch anything from in here.

 

His Mighty Girthiness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, sitting on the Teeter Chair


Chief Advisor Slorb, dressed in what he thinks passes for fashionable clothing

And indeed the Chief is before his goblin subjects, sitting precariously atop the infamous Teeter Chair, a 6-foot-tall twisted tree stump pulled from the ground and roughly fashioned into something that might resemble a throne if you squinted hard enough. Chief Gutwad quite literally looks down on you from his position on the throne, his expression stoic. The goblin leader is, as his title suggests, rather corpulent, his flabby belly protruding far over the fraying loincloth he wears on his nether regions. For a goblin to get so large is a sign of the power he wields, as most goblins find themselves in a state of perpetual hunger, never able to eat enough to gain weight like that. The symbol of the tribe leader sits upon his head, and the Chief idly fiddles with his spear as he peers down at you.

Slorb steps forward, dramatically swishing his cloak and grinning self-importantly. By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. All the Licktoads know that the Chief's words are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor can handle the might of the chief's words without fainting from fear.

"Be seated!" Slorb commands, gesturing to the dirt just in front of the Chief's chair. The five of you realise this is a great honor, for most goblins are made to stand (or, even more likely, just get out). But even before you all have a chance to get properly comfortable, to your great surprise and shock (and Slorb's too—he looks aghast!), Chief Gutwad speaks to you directly in a deep, booming voice.

"You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren't fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission."

You all feel quite proud at this. Of course, you knew you were amazing, and it's about time the rest of the village got to know this fact as well!

"You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface's hut. Fireworks were fun. Burning was fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!" The Chief seems excited to announce this.

"I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks..." Chief Gutwad pauses, his expression darkening, "You not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!"

[Jesse]

At the mention of fireworks Irnk's face contorts to form a vicious, even maniacal, grin. "I knew Irnk was best enough" he mumbles to himself as he floats off in his daydreams of glory and power. Irnk quickly became bored with the talk of the map. That was until more fireworks were put on the proverbial table. At the mention of these new fireworks Irnk let out a hoop and holler jumping to his feet and bouncing in place ecstatic with the thought of much fire. "I gets them I gets them I geeeeettttttttsssssuuuummm!" he exclaims stopping only at the King's glare of impatience. "No Kingsy, no Squealy pit . . . I gets them much games." Irnk almost pleads as he backs out of the hut.

[NEON725]

Goboom eventually resigned himself to walking into the hut, stomping and saying naughty things the whole way. He crossed his arms and plopped down on the floor with a "Hmph." rather rudely, but this attitude entirely disappeared when the chief started speaking. Instinctively, he cupped his ears to stop himself from being frightened silly, then realized that he was very much not peeing on the floor!

Almost immediately, the mention of fireworks brightened his mood. He dropped his arms and let his expression become dull and vegetable-like. Heck, he was the one that set off most of the fireworks that burnt Scribbleface's hut the first time. Even more he says? Hundreds? Thousands!?

Goboom started to drool. "So many shinies..." he whispered.

[Batfan Brett]

Shake-Spear stopped his amazing song long enough to take instruction from Sorb. Shake-Spear made sure he stared at the advisor for a few seconds, waiting for the other goblin to blink. Shake-Spear did not like Sorb's new outfit, it's colour and obvious ridiculousness taking well-deserved attention from his own accoutrements.

After defeating his foe in this optical combat (regardless of the outcome, Shake-Spear perceives he is the victor), Shake-Spear knelt in front of the Chief. He actually listened to what the Chief has to say, knowing the words spoken will be the start of an adventure that will once and for all cement Shake-Spear's place in the pantheon of goblin champions.

At the mention of a bonfire and games ceremony (Shake-Spear hoped he would be chosen once again to carry in the torch to light the bonfire. He had always wanted to try this again, after he messed up the last time by shooting a flaming arrow into GoBoom's hut, causing an explosion that singed everyone's eyebrows) he hopped up and raced out of the Chief's Hut: He needed to compose a new song and find some knew brights to wear to the games.

 

Dice Intimidate roll (to make Slorb blink/look away):

1d20+1

(6)+1

Total = 7

[LupusRegalis]

"hehehehahahaheheheha" Nazt laughs with maniacal glee, his greedy eyes intense as he considered retrieving those fireworks. His gaze drifts to where Slorb stands, face still pale, shaking with what Nazt assumes is anger for having his role passed over. Nazt's grin gets wider, and he jerks on Pugh's harness, causing the goblin-dog to growl, as he slips out of the Chief's hut. A new, betterer plan taking hold in his mind.

chief said it, we best he thought to himself bester than slorb too, yep.

Nazt let that thought float around his wide head for a bit, dreaming on the excitement of tonight's games and tomorrow's coming adventure. Though the thought of squealy nord and lotslegs kinda put a damper on the whole thing. He'd just have to make sure he wasn't the one to blame if things went wrong. Maybe blame Slorb for it, then.

Nazt pulls Pugh closer and then hops up onto the beasts back with an uttered 'hup, hup'. Reigning him in, he looks around for something to do until the bonfire tonight. Many games fun later, but he was bored now. And hungry. Maybe he'd go find something to eat. Or someone to kick and make go get him food. "yah yah, bestest goblins means we get more foods. go get more foods, hehehe"

<Insert random violence and general terrorizing of village occupants as Nazt and Pugh push their new 'bestest-Licktoads' status around>

[Alesch]

Old One-Eye did not share the exuberance of his compatriots. While the younger goblins seemed to fixate on the Chief's praise, the old shaman saw the real matter underlying their mission. They were to follow a map, taken from a heretical madgoblin, in order to find fireworks. If they didn't find any fireworks then they were exiles, or worse.

The old goblin doesn't say anything. He just stands, leaning against his magical blasting staff, and listening to the idiotic younglings celebrating as if they'd already found these fireworks. Fireworks that might not even be there. Old One-Eye's one eye narrowed at those around him. He was too old for exile. If there are no fireworks, he thought to himself, then I will have to feed King Fatty to Squealy Nord, and sit on that chair myself.

[Ange]

Slorb glares in annoyance back at Shake-Spear, scowling angrily. The bard looks away first (despite whatever illusions of "winning" he may have developed), and he feels the advisor's eyes on him for some time after he looks away.

Really, through the entire meeting, Slorb looks quite pissed, to say the least. He mutters under his breath as Chief Gutwad orders him to fetch the map, digging through a pile of junk inside a patched-up wooden chest to retrieve the pigskin parchment. You may have seen a glimpse of it when the tribe ransacked Scribbleface's hut, but then again you also may have been too consumed by the ultraviolence, sparkly stuff and burnination to pay attention to some stupid boring thing that did not have "fire" in its name. He shoves it One-Eye's chest with a huff, before standing on his tippy-toes and flicking his cape imperiously.

"Chief Gutwad demands his privacy! Get out before he inflicts his wrath upon you!" Slorb's voice pierces your ear drums like Squealy Nord's cries, except far less intimidating.

Outside the hut, you can see the signs of the party preparations in progress. Other goblins from the tribe are working on hauling branches and sticks from the swamp outside of the village palisades inside, as well as scavenging unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface's hut. A few are setting up some makeshift tables on which food will later be served; they're not stupid enough to bring anything to eat out yet, though, for fear of having nothing left before the party starts, so Nazt may have to wait a little for his next meal.

The sky above is stained with burnt orange and violet; soon, it will be evening.

OOC I haven't had time to draw the map up yet. I'll post it over the weekend, probably. The gist of it is that you'll be following a river down towards the coast, where, supposedly, the treasure is located. You have a little bit of time to do whatever you like around the village, exploring, asking people stuff, preparing, whatever. If there's nothing in particular you'd like to do, I'll skip on ahead to the party!

[Batfan Brett]

Shake-Spear went back to his hut, scrabbling through his many brights, looking for the combination that would make him look the fiercest and most fabulous.