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  #91  
Old 08-24-2020, 02:39 AM
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Donac Thunderbelly
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Name: Donac Thunderbelly
Race: Mountain Dwarf
Class: Barbarian/Fighter
Homelands: Donac is from the Thunderbelly mine, a holding in El Stow ruled by the Thunderbelly clan. They mine Iron and some Platinum, exporting every kind of weapon, armor, and jewelry. While not the richest clan holding, it's one of the oldest, going back over five hundred years.
Appearance: Full image of Donac and his sidekicks here. Donac is tall for a dwarf. The Thunderbelly clan warriors tattoo themselves when they defeat an enemy, and Donac's upper body is spotted with blue tattoos. He wears half plate and wields a greatsword.
Social Status: 65

 


 


King Grohl Connection
Donac sought out King Grohl and has pushed him to develop the skills he would need to reclaim his birthright. As part of this encouragement, King Grohl's Donac crafted the adamantine ones he actually takes into battle mind you, not the gilded set worn to feasts and coronations.
Not that Donac has anything against making gilded armor - but in this case King Grohl inherited the gilded armor set from his father.
armor and sword were gifts from Donac. They've adventured together for a few years and prepared. At last, the young King is ready to make his move.


Sidekick - Wife
Name: Norafere Thunderbelly.
Race: Mountain Dwarf
Class: Spellcaster/Wizard 3
Relation: Wife. They grew up in Thunderbelly clan together. They were business partners for several years before tying the knot.


Sidekick - Grandson
Name: Amalnar Claddrahel
Race: Drow
Class: Fighter 2
Relation: Grandson from an alternate reality. On Amalnar's native plane, Donac was a drow and his grandfather. Amalnar's grandfather was a legendary smith who reforged a weak link on one of the divine shackles sealing Tharizdun. Well, the influence of Tharizdun is once more seeping into Amalnar's nation, so Amalnar has traveled far to find someone who can grant him the expertise necessary to assess and repair the chained oblivion's prison. Amalnar has a magical necklace that, if broken, will return/banish him to his native plane.

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Last edited by anamiac; 09-03-2020 at 11:20 PM.
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  #92  
Old 08-24-2020, 10:02 AM
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I will be starting to read over and give feedback for reviews this afternoon. I expect to be done some time Tuesday. All will be posted at the same time. So, if you want anything in or updated before I review, it is time to get it posted.
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  #93  
Old 08-24-2020, 11:50 AM
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I will work something up shortly. Today was my first day off since the 3rd and my kid had an early Doctor appointment... LOL.
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  #94  
Old 08-24-2020, 03:08 PM
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Phoara
 


Name: Phoara Middlecoin

Race: Human (Variant)

Class: Wizard

Homelands / Backstory

Phoara spent her formative years in the shadow of Orc Spear's battlements. Abandoned by her parents, her caretaker was a moneylender, one of the many uncouth businesses that clung like fetid weeds to military garrisons. It was a fair and cordial exchange: food, shelter, clothing and in return Phoara's cherub-like countenance was more like than not to draw what was owed from debtors, with an occasional supplication to the garrison officers. She dreamed of leaving the small town, banking on the new mandatory conscription to take her away. Unfortunately for Phoara's budding sense of adventure, she was assigned to the local militia garrison at Orc Spear. She didn't even get the benefit of martial training, as the militia was more in need of an assistant quartermaster. More like an assistant to the assistant. But a little closer to the person who has to go fetch things for more important people, whatever the title.

The next opportunity, to which she plunged into wholeheartedly, came at the end of her militia service. A representative of the magic school in Hay Field just happened to be passing through on a recruitment drive. The school formed by the same man who had been the salvation of El Stow during the Orcish invasion, shortly before her birth. A folk hero, beloved by the common man. Again, her sense of adventure and purpose was to be thwarted. Not long after her second year at the school, Phoara caused an 'incident' and was summarily expelled. But she'd had a taste of magic now... and there were other paths to power. Nursing a newfound grudge, she left the lands of El Stow behind.

Decades passed.

The imperial city was the sort of place you could buy a meal and sell a conversation. The type of place where both coin and word vied for the greater value. Perhaps the common people made it through their day without their activities being reported, sold and evaluated. But Phoara was not common people. She had risen to a position of modest prominence, superficially a protege of the imperial court's high mage. In reality, her duty was to observe the Wizard's activities and relay any abnormalities to the information ministry. Though her activities in that regard were eventually brought to a screeching halt when the High Mage placed an observer of his own in her life.


Sidekick
King's Dice Roll

The man tsked. "Spy? Such a vulgar word! Allow me to present, the one and only: Jasper Holden." The man tipped his macaroni style hat and bowed, introducing himself with an exaggerated flourish. Phoara found it obnoxious. "The High Mage thought you could use the calming power of music while you study. Now don't look at me like that." His mirthless smile did little to alleviate her growing sense of dread. Brushing her second best robes to the floor, the half-elf musician plopped down on her room's only chair and began freeing a lute from it's hard leather case. "You'd report to the High Mage anyway, yes? I'm just here to alleviate that burden, consider me an assistant in that regard?" Phoara felt her life changing, carried along by the gentle strumming of strings.
An introduction to Royalty
"Spy? Such a vulgar word, your Majesty." Though her continuance exuded calm and confidence, inwardly Phoara cringed to be repeating Jasper's words. Though nobody at the imperial court would verbally acknowledge it, her cover had been blown. She was swiftly reassigned, though Jasper had strangely tagged along. Phoara's upbringing in El Stow made her ideally suited for this new assignment. Even then she couldn't stifle the thought: If the counsel had just bent their stiff, prideful necks to the Emperor, I wouldn't be stuck telling this green-blood prince which side of a scroll holds the spell. "Think of me as a direct representation of the Emperor's support, your advisor in arcane matters." Phoara remembered to smile, a mechanical motion bereft of emotion."I sincerely hope that we can reach a place beyond mere tolerance, your Highness."

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Last edited by Trapper; 08-25-2020 at 04:06 PM.
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  #95  
Old 08-24-2020, 05:04 PM
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Wow, Trapper! Now, that is what I call painting. Great job!
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Last edited by Elanir; 08-24-2020 at 05:05 PM.
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  #96  
Old 08-25-2020, 08:30 AM
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Added some details about the city if Greyport (June-Taz capital).
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  #97  
Old 08-25-2020, 02:06 PM
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Although some of them are a WIP status, feedback on all applications so far is pasted below. It is a pretty long wall of text, so put everyone's in a secret block, just to keep the relevant parts easy to find for you. If you do make changes to your application that you would like me to look at, please drop a post or PM, just to make sure I don't miss it.














































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Last edited by Bhelogan; 09-04-2020 at 09:25 AM.
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  #98  
Old 08-25-2020, 02:36 PM
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Things to ponder...
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Last edited by Drachenspirit; 08-27-2020 at 02:30 PM. Reason: spelling errrrrors
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  #99  
Old 08-25-2020, 02:41 PM
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Thank you for the feedback, Bhelogan!

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  #100  
Old 08-25-2020, 02:44 PM
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Thank you for the feedback! Do you mind response to your questions/comments via DM?
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  #101  
Old 08-25-2020, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by derpoet View Post
Thank you for the feedback! Do you mind response to your questions/comments via DM?
That would be fine. But, with the sheer number of applications I have, I would also like you to include anything I need to know in your original application as well. I will probably have a hard time linking the dots of what PMs, or posts later on, went with what applications when I am doing my final review and decision making.

As a reminder, the deadline for applications is September 4th. So, there is still time to update or get an application in.
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  #102  
Old 08-25-2020, 03:36 PM
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Thanks for your feedback, Bhelogan!

(The rest of the text on the scroll seems missing. As if someone erased it... or hid it with magic... )
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  #103  
Old 08-25-2020, 04:36 PM
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I've adjusted Bertram's backstory a little. I hope that fits in better.
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  #104  
Old 08-25-2020, 05:15 PM
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Kayne App
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Kayne Cyire

Character Name: Kayne Cyire
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Hexblade 1 / Paladin 6
Age: 32
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Background: Knight of the Order of the Dusk (custom Knight of the Order)

Appearance: Long black hair, warm brown eyes, fair skin, 6’1”, about 210 lbs, fairly lean but well muscled, a dancer or swimmer’s physique.

Description of Homeland: The Divine Kingdom of Bivoria is an ancient land constantly strained by civil war between the humans and elves who call it home. The conflict spans centuries, and few remember the inciting cause, but the religious zealotry present on both sides has made the conflict into an issue of which divine right is stronger. A land of lush forests and arable fields, it would be lovely if it were not blood soaked.

Social Standing: Merchant

Backstory: Born of a union which had become tragically typical in the Divine Kingdom of Bivoria over the centuries-long civil war, Kayne’s father was an elven warrior who had kidnapped the daughter of a wealthy merchant during a raid on the town of Woven. Born into a world which fostered hate of his half-breed lineage upon both sides of a pointless conflict, Kayne’s mother managed to flee her captivity after years of imprisonment with the 6 year old Kayne in tow.

Indentured servitude was all Kayne knew under the elves, and his father was loathe to let his mother return to her “heathen” life prior to his “liberating” of her body and soul. Chasing them through the Changore Forest, Kayne and his Mother were caught once more by his father, and their fate seemed almost certain for the humiliation shown the elven warrior, except for the appearance of a creature out of nightmares who scooped Kayne’s father up in a shadowy spectral hand, and proceeded to drain the life from the elven warrior’s body until only a husk remained. Grasping his father’s longsword on the ground, and brandishing the heavy blade which the 6 year old malnourished half-elf could barely hold, Kayne confronted the creature known as a Nightwalker, ready to defend his mother if needed.

Kayne’s memories are faint of that day, foggy. What he remembers is waking when he had no memory of going to sleep. Sword in his hand, his mother looked frightful, and she pushed the young Kayne to continue moving with a stern, frightful warning; "Never use that power again Kay… it’s elf blood magic and no one will understand. No one." Kayne’s mother managed to find their way back to her home and family. While they were thrilled to find her back in their care and safety, they were generally less thrilled by the presence of a half-breed heathen. A shame upon their family and daughter.

Over the years, Kayne worked in the back of the shop as a smith, crafting items of supreme quality and beauty which brought a small degree of reputation to the family shop. Kayne felt as though he’d left one life of servitude and entered into another. The next chapter of his life came when his mother remarried and his younger brother and sister were born. At 15 years old, the family’s shop was visited by an Order of the Dusk paladin, Nadia Moonwing. A human who did not see Kayne through the eyes of prejudice or malice saw someone who could prioritize the safety of the common people of this land over the petty foolishness of a war that had no end in sight.

Kayne left his home and life as a craftsman behind, and decided to seek his future in martial training with the Order. It was grueling work, and while Nadia seemed to hold no prejudice towards Kayne, it was not true of many others within the Order. Despite these setbacks, Kayne proved himself time and again, and eventually proved himself worthy of knighthood.

Traveling the land as a member of the Order, Kayne searched for creatures of the dark to slay, rather than fight in a conflict that only spelled death for his countrymen. His travels brought him to Chengore Forest again, rumors of a shadowy creature besieging those who sought a shortcut to their destination. It was here he heard the sounds of battle. He arrived upon a scene of horror. Broken bodies strewn about, horse and humanoid were husks of themselves. This was the fateful meeting between Kayne and King Grohl. Jumping to the aid of the half-Orc with little care for his own safety, the combined motivations of saving a brave warrior, and enacting vengeance upon the creature which nearly killed himself and his mother so many years prior.

Kayne and King Grohl were hopelessly outmatched. With some creative use of his suppresses elven magic, Kaybe managed to pull the half-Orc presumptive king from the clutches of the Nightwalker, and they managed an escape from the deadly woods.

After a few days of travel to Kayne’s base city, the two learned much of each other. They bonded on the topic of prejudice, of absent fathers, of making the world better if they could. There was much they disagreed on, but King Grohl came to appreciate Kayne’s candor and thoughtfulness. When he was forming his council, Kayne was invited as a means to keep Grohl’s views grounded and balanced. They considered one another brother, and when El Stow was Grohl’s destination, Kayne decided it may be time to leave the “Divine Kingdom” on its own for now.

Sidekick 1Niizah - Tiefling Expert
 
Kayne’s early years as an apprentice to Nadia saw him take on a “project” as Nadia would come to call it. A tiefling slave, Niizah, was being mistreated by her human owner during his travels. With all the coins he’d gathered up to that point from his trade and what little was offered by the Order, he gave to Niizah’s owner as an exchange. Writs of ownership were transferred, and Kayne promptly freed Niizah when out of sight. She’s followed Kayne ever since, not as a slave or servant, but as a friend who wishes to help Kayne achieve his goals however she possibly can.


Sidekick 2Belocc - Half-Elf Warrior
 
Belocc was someone Kayne found in a similar situation to himself. A half-elf young woman, perhaps as old as his younger siblings, with immense talent but only prejudice surrounding her. Discussing the matter with her, he took Belocc on as Nadia once did for him, and has initiated her as his apprentice into the Order of the Dusk.




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Real Life hitting harder and harder. Working on updates as soon as I can, please have pity (patience) on me!

Last edited by MontageManiac; 08-29-2020 at 09:00 PM.
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  #105  
Old 08-25-2020, 05:20 PM
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A lot to think about, mostly because I don't know if my guy will be able to ignore the blind ambition of the younger Grohl. I hope it's ok that I share my feedback with the rest of the class, maybe one of them can help me with my patch of writer's block.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhelogen
Ebhen – All the pieces are here. I think the biggest hurdle is getting over how Ebhen would have been put in a place of trust and influence in Grohl’s council, based on rumors of what he had done during the wars 30 years prior, that were somewhat tied to exiling Grohl’s family. Not saying it couldn’t work, but it would be helpful to have some kind of experience or exchange between the two that links them together a little closer. Beyond that, I don’t know if Ebhen has much in the way of motivation or aspiration for things moving forward, say after King Grohl returns to the throne.
Link to application

I'm thinking Ebhen was summoned to meet with Grohl and was persuaded that Grohl's cause was just... but I don't know if that sounds too shoehorned.

Thanks Bhelogen for the feedback.
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