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  #136  
Old 08-03-2019, 10:38 PM
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Yuul Yuul is offline
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@Vaerdis: Just saw the bit about our legendary items supposed to be tied in with our initial domains, was planning on having a base item revolving around luck of some kind, but if you prefer I can swap Luck and Darkness(Night) in my domain que.
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  #137  
Old 08-03-2019, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuul View Post
@Vaerdis: Just saw the bit about our legendary items supposed to be tied in with our initial domains, was planning on having a base item revolving around luck of some kind, but if you prefer I can swap Luck and Darkness(Night) in my domain que.
If you so wish. Could be a lucky belt. The point is that the item shouldn't always be your favorite item slot.
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  #138  
Old 08-04-2019, 12:06 AM
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Just asking over concern of fitting your desires regarding the design flavorwise and for thematic purposes. The design was always going to be a hooded robe or cloak even though I have yet to find a base item that seems to adequately meet it. Have since I first found the picture I decided to use.
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  #139  
Old 08-04-2019, 12:27 AM
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  #140  
Old 08-04-2019, 12:29 AM
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Hope I’m not too late for a review. Got really caught up in writing a detailed background in a mythic style:

Kelzitar
The trickster god

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Kelzitar

AppName: Commonly known as “Kelzitar - the god-thief.” His mortal name was actually simply Kelz. “Itar” was a title in the forgotten tongue of his people which roughly translates to “man-god.”
Race: Proto-Doppleganger
Domain: Trickery.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Class: Brazen Deceiver (Bard Archetype)
Mythic Class: Trickster

Appearance: Kelzitar is a trickster and a deceiver, and as such, he is constantly altering his appearance. Even when in his true form, those who meet him later find it difficult to describe him with any detail, tending to refer to him as “average height, average build; not quite old, but certainly not young either”

In his most common guise, he appears as a human male (though he often takes on the features of whichever race he is interacting with), dressed in the shabby attire of a vagabond: an old, travel-worn cloak that has certainly seen better days, frayed about its edges and mottled with a variety of stains that could just as easily be blood as they could be wine; leather boots that - while caked in mud - somehow retain a soft sole that produces nothing above a whisper when he walks; his drab, dun-colored riding breeches appear as if they are a half-size too bog for hits lanky limbs; the collar of an rough linen shirt - undyed and untied - peeks out from under an old leather jerkin; fingerless gloves allow his nimble digits the freedom to move about. His hair is generally unkempt and his face marked with stubble that never quite forms a full beard.

Despite this, there are a few common features that sometimes appear even when in the most elaborate disguise. Though his hair ranges in color across the spectrum, it always seems to have a faint reddish highlight to it. Likewise, no matter how hard he tries, he can never mask the color of his mismatched eyes: one steel-grey, the other ice-blue. Though he does have some degree over his build, when not disguised as a specific individual, he always appears lean and wiry, giving the general impression that (while by no means starving) he could certainly do with a good meal.

Legendary Item:I haven’t worked out the mechanics of its powers yet, but Kelzitar’s legendary item is actually the eye of the elder god Oros. The cyclopean god Oros was once known as Oros One-Eye, now called the Blind god, ever since Kelzitar tricked him out of his eye in a game of marbles. Kelzitar removed one of his own eyes and replaced it with that of Oros. The eye is the source of all his mythic power and was responsible for Kelzitar’s ascension.

Personality: Kelzitar is the consummate trickster. He is extraordinarily clever and takes pleasure in demonstrating his superiority over those he deems more ignorant than himself. He delights in practical jokes, particularly those that target figures of authority to “take them down a notch.” He is a true anarchist for the most altruistic reasons. He believes that authority figures are inherently corrupt abusers of power and that the world would be a far better place if people exercised their own self-ordinance. For these reasons, he is despised by many other gods who view him as an insubordinate, disrespectful upstart.

He is also a subject of scorn among the gods for being something of a hedonist. Kelzitar certainly enjoys the pleasures of life such as good food, good music, good games, a comfortable bed, and a warm campfire. However, he is by no means an elitist in his choices: he is equally content with a simple peasant stew and a cheap ale as with rare delicacies and fine wine. He also much prefers the company of common folk to that of nobles and high gods.

Despite all this, he is a deeply dedicated and caring leader to his people and would do anything in his power to protect them. Unfortunately, during his long absence, his people scattered and dispersed. Having intermingled with other tribes, they have become largely lost to him. As a result, behind the mask he wears of the irreverent fool hides the melancholy of a chieftain with no tribe. In the absence of a tribe connected to him by blood, Kelzitar has taken to looking after underdogs and outcasts and he has become a fierce defender of those who have no one else at all.

Ultimately though, what he wants more than anything else is to find his people, the descendants of the original Kharak tribe, and unite them, bringing them once again to a position of greatness among all peoples. He doesn't want them to rule over other races, though. He just wants to give his people freedom and independence, to see them once again ride the countryside as "citizens of all lands" and "students of all arts." He wants them to be free to live as they please without the prejudice and subjugation they suffered under the other tribes who blamed them for the First of All Wars.
Background: The Legend of Kelzitar the Trickster
Prologue:
Crash! The boy darted wildly about the side of the wagon and collided directly into what felt to him like a brick wall. On closer inspection, as he looked up from the ground where he had fallen flat on his back, he realized that this particular brick wall had a more decidedly human shape.

”Damn it, boy!” The burly man growled as he stooped to begin picking up the tentpoles and iron spikes that had clattered to the ground around him, ”Watch where you’re going!”

”Sorry, Uncle Delon,” the boy murmured shamefully. To be honest, he wasn’t entirely certain that he shared any blood with the man, since his own pale skin and gangly limbs bore hardly any resemblance at all to the swarthy man whose shirt was stretched to its limit by the rippling muscles it struggled to contain. But that was the way of the caravan. They had all been traveling the Shrouded Lands for generations and everyone was referred to as aunts, uncles, and cousins, though drawing a true family tree was beyond the capabilities of anyone other than perhaps the most senior of their company. It was very rare indeed that a stranger joined the caravan - a stranger like the storyteller. The boy looked up again somewhat sheepishly at the man he called uncle, ”Ummm … Uncle Delon … have you seen the storyteller?”

“Bah,”
the large man spat as he lifted another iron spike from the ground, ”That old grifter is always happy to sit by our fires and partake of our dinner every night, yet he’ll never be found when there’s work to be done. You’d be better off without his lies, boy.”

“Ummmm, sure. Thanks anyway, Uncle Delon,”
the boy replied as he clambered back to his feet and darted off once again.

Thinking of the surly advice he had just received, the boy walked away from the bustling activity of breaking camp and began walking along the outer edges of the caravan. After a few minutes of rounding the camp, a glimmer of light seemed to catch in the corner of his eye. Turning away from the camp, he made his way towards a lone tree that rose up from the field of long grasses.

”Hello again, boy.” The voice issued forth from behind the tree before the boy circled around to catch sight of its source, ”What brings you here, praytell?”

Sitting leisurely with his back against the tree trunk was the storyteller. His mud-caked boots were stretched out before him at the ends of long wiry legs. Both of his hands rested on one knobby knee, fingerless soft leather gloves allowing his nimble digits the freedom to drum out a curious pattern. His slight frame was wrapped in an old travel-worn cloak, the hood of which rested lightly on a mop of unkempt auburn curls, casting shadows over his rough and stabled face, but not nearly enough to hide the spark in his oddly mismatched eyes.

”Well … sir …,” the boy stammered as he mustered up the courage to speak before the strangely intimidating figure, ”I had to leave the campfire last night while you were still talking and I … I wanted to ask if you could tell me the end of the story.”

”Hmmmmnn…, the storyteller mused as his mismatched eyes peered deep into the boy’s own. Time seemed to stand still for the boy. The only movement he could sense was a single blade of grass perched in the corner of the storyteller’s mouth that bobbed up and down as the eccentric man chewed absently upon its end. ”No lad, I’m afraid I can’t do that, because you’ve asked the wrong question. You see, true stories have no endings, just places where we stop listening.”

The boy couldn’t help but feel that he was being made fun of and that feeling tinged his retort with an edge of spitefulness. ”You know, my Uncle Delon says you’re nothing but a liar.”

“Is that so?”
the storyteller asked with an air of mock surprise laced so heavily in irony as to effectively suggest that there was nothing the boy could tell him that he did not already know. ”Well, your Uncle Delon prefers to deny his Kharak heritage.”

“Wait, Uncle Delon is a Kharak?”
the offense the boy had taken a moment ago melted under the burning flame of curiosity that the storyteller’s words had now kindled within him.

The storyteller shrugged dismissively. ”Eh. Hard to say if there is any Kharak blood in him. After the First of All Wars, the Kharaks more or less went into hiding. Those that survived were blamed for the war, and so in order to survive they blended in with the other tribes. Many of them intermarried, thinning out the bloodline. Now in this age, there may only be one true-blooded Kharak out there. But your people’s lifestyle on the other hand, now that is unmistakably Kharak.”

“What do you mean by that? And why did everyone hate them so much?”

”Ah, my young friend,”
the corners of the storyteller’s mouth turned upwards in a delighted grin as light seemed to shine out directly from his mismatched eyes. ”Now that is an excellent question, and a story all to itself.

 


 


 


 


 
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Last edited by rhaiber; 08-08-2019 at 01:35 PM.
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  #141  
Old 08-04-2019, 01:35 AM
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Just checking but was the 'creation of a race' comment directed towards Doc? I realized I talked about it before but you informed me back then of what was possible and I believe I kept the idea of those enhanced by Doc as only those capable with fleshwarping. If I made a mistake I'll gladly correct it.Sorry, didn't notice the review on the next page. Looking over it now.
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  #142  
Old 08-04-2019, 02:32 AM
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  #143  
Old 08-04-2019, 02:56 AM
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  #144  
Old 08-04-2019, 04:13 AM
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Third round

As an aside, I find it funny how many apps here have mention of drow in their posts as if they are the sole evil in this world.

A problem I have seen in at least two apps has come to the fore. Have I not made it clear that while your characters are on the material plane they are not gods of any sort, despite any worship and praise they might've had. ONLY once they have begun their planar adventures do they find their restrictions unleashed and an inability to return.


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  #145  
Old 08-04-2019, 06:24 AM
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  #146  
Old 08-04-2019, 07:21 AM
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  #147  
Old 08-04-2019, 09:47 AM
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  #148  
Old 08-04-2019, 11:11 AM
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Okay, finally finished up my background. Is it still possible to get a review?
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  #149  
Old 08-04-2019, 03:08 PM
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Old 08-04-2019, 03:15 PM
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Shhhhhhhh.


Last edited by Banewolf; 08-04-2019 at 03:16 PM.
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