We're down to the wire and I do not envy any of the judges' work this round. For myself I had a spectacular pair of competitors to GM and judge, and I know the other brackets were similarly stellar.
Unfortunately, there can be only one finalist from each bracket. *drum roll*
Our Finalists!
13th Age: Khelbiros' Rimoka
D&D 3.5e: wodine's Ignatius C Hypatius III
D&D 5e: Avner's Thomas Templeton
Pathfinder: pianoman90's Jorgum
Last edited by Aethera; Aug 14th, 2016 at 10:34 PM.
Well played, both of you! This round was a blast and I so very much wanted it to continue and see it out to the end, not least because it might have made judging easier.
To say this round was close could not be more of an understatement. I mulled over my notes and your posts far longer than was healthy, but judgment is rendered....
Writing: Slight edge to pianoman90 here based on a few errors early in Squeak's writing.
Combat mechanics: I had to dig back a bit into the dice thread to answer some of my own questions, but neither of you made any serious mistakes here.
Combat tactics: Weighing a combat expert against a pacifist mage is difficult, but I felt like this ended up a tie in the end. Corrivander had a limited repertoire, but used it exceptionally, even to the point of casting multiple major spells in the same round. Jorgum had a broader bag of tricks and used them in strong, but not unexpected, combinations to stand up to a creature much more powerful than himself. High points: Jorgum's hunkering down to evade all the dragon's attacks in round 2, and Corrivander's use of Glitterdust to reveal Evil Corrivander.
Heroism: Jorgum definitely comes out looking like the hero here, though Corrivander made up a bit of ground with his refusal to pass through the portal mid-combat.
Narrative power: Both have some great examples, but I ended up feeling more drawn to Corrivander's antagonism toward evil Corrivander than what I felt could have been a much richer engagement between Jorgum and his long-lost brother, Haluk. I really felt like that was a missed opportunity for Jorgum.
Creativity: Edge to Corrivander. I did *not* expect the Dominate Corrivander cast to start the round. I felt like that would 'dominate' the outcome of the round, depending on whether Jorgum made the save or not, but it was played well (and relatively sportsmanlike) on both sides. It was a creative meta-play on Squeak's part to cast Dominate on his opponent and I expect that Evil Corrivander had better Will saves, no?
Fist-pump moment: Jorgum's declaration that he would face off against the dragon alone, tempered by the fact that he abandoned this the very next round.
Clean writing, as usual, though the sentence 'the impulsive hobgoblin curiously stopped in his tracks' was a bit hard to read. (Only nitpicking because I expect to have to grade harder this time.) LOVED the LOTR reference with, 'Here at the end of all things.' Actions are not particularly exciting in a mechanical sense, but you describe them well and seem ready for trouble (which, given the name of the round as the 'combat' round, I think we all know is coming). A poor roll on your jump, but with a great modifier, and two natural 20s again with the skill checks. Incredible!
Wow! Your description of the effects of being dominated was excellent. I wasn't sure what you'd do if you missed the roll, but that description, at the very least, was a saving grace. 'Barriers torn asunder in his mind' introduces the part I'm referring to. Vivid and thoughtful.
Round 2 for Jorgum... here's what I love about this: Corrivander forced you into the unenviable position of charging a massive, angry dragon... alone. But you've taken up that mantle with gusto, claimed it and made it your own. When you shout to the others that you've got the dragon, they should take care of the wee lil' sidebar monsters, I want to pump my fist for the hero, Jorgum. Your actions bespeak fear and caution, but your roleplay is rich with boldness and leadership. Nicely played! I honestly didn't think you'd be able to turn that one around.
Addendum: AND the dragon missed with every attack! Brilliant! This feeds right into your narrative. Ah, I'm getting all fluttery.
Ah, alas, your stand came to an end. BUT you're less likely to die now, so that's good tactics, if nothing else, and you succeeded in moving away and landing an attack against another foe. A solid post, but nothing stands out to make me cheer.
The Daze spell took you out of the action for a round, but you managed to play it well with the introspection. Not much to comment on for this round. I'm curious to know what your plan is for the next round when you can act again.
Mid-round question: what happened to those mirror images? I don't think they've come up since you cast them, and you got a max roll, too. Maybe I missed something. I haven't been reading the dice rolls, per se. I'll have to go back and see. If the DM missed it, it's no penalty to you. I just recall thinking that was a clever move when facing off against the dragon and then it just sort of got dropped. Okay, back to reading....
Very nicely played! Offering yourself as the noble sacrifice. It's a risk, letting the other player 'succeed' at what might be the prime objective of the round, but it sets you up once again as a leader and showcases courage and a strong ethic. I disliked the addition of 'or you could stay,' though. It weakened the moment and your argument, which the other player was going to take or reject of their own accord either way. Even so, a very good post and a great rebound from the previous 'durrrr, what's going on, guys?' of the Daze effect.
You certainly didn't waste your final round, did you? It's a lot to take in. Jorgum makes a good argument, though, and I love the closing line -- a time for action, indeed! The speech to Corrivander was difficult to envision with all the fighting and chaos going on around them, but I see why it was important for you to squeeze the words in there with the competition round wrapping up.
A few minor spelling and punctuation errors, oddest being 't it struggles to make sense of it alL' (the 't' at the beginning isn't cut off, that's what was posted). I'm fond of Corrivander's introspection here, considering whether his clone might not be equally valid a choice. Oh dear. Oh my. Oh... oh my. What spell is this? *checks OOC* Dominate Person... yep... on Jorgum. Oh my. It seems Atalla's infuence has rubbed off on you, Squeak. Well, if nothing else, you've got me interested in what happens next! O_O As an addendum, I feel like you're at a slight disadvantage going in because of the Jorgum/Haluk connection and piano's ability to play off that to tug at the emotions, so I was expecting to see some outside-the-box thinking, but was not expecting this!
Well, well, that Dominate is working well for you. Whether you intended PvP or not, it's really gummed up Jorgum's game thus far. The quip in this second round wasn't Corrivander's best, but the lead-in narrative was exceptional. He feared... but feared failing more. Golden. And VERY NICELY played with the protection spell. You clearly put a lot of thought into the sorts of scenarios Corrivander might face through the course of the competition.
Wow, other Corrivander is a butthole. I like Corrivander proper much better.
Seems you came to the same conclusion I did regarding not-Corrivander and are running with it. The diversion tactic is nice, too. I'm curious to see if the DM will run with it. I try not to base my judgment on results, but good results do generally provide better setting for strong roleplay and I think you've got a great angle here in putting not-Corrivander on his heels for a change. Reasoning that the evil one should not be the one to proceed is also sensible and shows concern for Jorgum (maybe even mending fences after the whole 'hey, sorry for mind controlling you into an evil dragon' thing?).
IT WORKED!
The tears are getting to be a bit much. I see you acknowledged the same in your OOC comments. I understand that as you write there's significant time and distance between each post, but as I read through from start to finish, it begins to feel like Corrivander weeps at the drop of a hat. The upside is that both you and your opponent had a round of inaction this time, so it sort of balances. I'm hoping to see more bravery next round, particularly with the protection from evil still in effect.
Doubling down on a single spell -- an intriguing tactic, and not one seen very often! Corrivander the pacifist did not take the coward's way out, but stood his ground alongside a 'friend' until the end... how very Hobbit-like of him.
And the final overture... well-stated... I almost wish I'd been able to see the result of this spell, though I have a strong suspicion that the save would be made (though the DM can't roll >10 every time, amirite?) and the dragon insolent. The promise of what might have been lingers and Corrivander claims his right to pass through the portal....
__________________ A warrior struggling to remain consequential.
Last edited by moozuba; Aug 14th, 2016 at 08:47 PM.
What you did well
Being a somewhat stereotypical barbarian is hard when many of the challenges in outplay are social and/or skill based. I’ve mentioned before how you’ve done well handling that, but this round is where your build finally has paid off and put you at a huge advantage. It’s hard to say, but I don’t think that it would be outside the realm of reason to say that you could have potentially won this fight solo if you had to. Even more interesting was your use of extra actions / items that really took Rimoka’s combat beyond the typical “smash ‘em with an axe” barbarian. Often times we expect that kind of behavior from rogues or bards, but rarely from raging barbarians. Some might argue that due to rage some of it didn’t make sense, but I felt the way that you roleplayed each activation really justified it in character. A clever way to fight to the max, while staying true to your character. I also gave you some brownie points for the way that you handled rules questions, etc. You did this in the round I ran last time and I saw it again in this one where the combat got crunchier. You were respectful and diligent, which as a DM, I appreciate as a mark of a good player.
What you could improve on
You had some typos that I noticed, if you make it to the final round, watch that closely. You can bet your fellow players will be. You made the same mistake as ratpigeon in taking control of NPCs, which has been an unfortunate theme so for in the 13th age bracket all across the map. It does make me wonder if it’s the system that encourages it, but it is still one of the cardinal sins of roleplaying, which we shouldn’t be seeing this far into the competition. Finally, not a terrible thing – I didn’t subtract points or anything, but I have noticed that you like to directly quote other people’s words when you are trying to react to them. This is a tricky problem to be sure, and the way you handle is significantly better than a quote block interrupting the flow of your narrative. Yet I would love to see you progress beyond this crutch and stick to only narrating your character’s actions. It can sometimes get confusing if Rimoka is saying something or you are recapping/repeating from someone else’s previous words. It also tends to clutter your post up giving it more body (and thus more text) for your reader to process that they don’t really need to.
What you did well
I thought it was a classy move, how you ended the combat scene. Not only did you insist on keeping together and showing solidarity with Rimoka, but also your evil twin. A stance that you actually took throughout the battle, to the point where you even buffed and healed your alter-ego. It was a bit of a risky move, but consistent with Shilantis’s character. I was actually pretty surprised at how effective Shilantis was in combat overall. She did some damage, some healing, and some buffing. In short, she performed admirably in several support roles just as you likely intended. Perhaps most importantly you recognized that your raging barbarian companion may not see much beyond the red haze and took on the tactical role as well. Trying to push off the bodies before they could feed the greater mass was a smart move.
What you could improve on
I felt like you left some roleplay opportunities on the table with Not-Shiliantis. Granted it’s hard to have a heart to heart conversation in the middle of the battle where things are trying to eat your face off, but I was left wanting a little more. I suppose if you had the opportunity for a few more posts after the main fight, I would have gotten to see some of that. I also really would have loved to see some more verse as she activated her bard songs. I know that’s hard, but you have the advantage of being in a written medium so you have time to come up with a quick couplet that can really help flavor your posts. Finally, I mentioned it in Khelbiros’s feedback as well, but you took control of one of the NPCs at the beginning of the round. I’ve mentioned it in previous feedback, so I won’t belabor the issue. I will note that avoiding this pitfall be a boon not just here, but in non-outplay games as well.
My apologies for my tardy feedback, I hope that it is still helpful.
__________________
Yes, I do still exist. Sometimes.
Aug 11th, 2016, 01:41 PM
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