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Old Feb 11th, 2021, 07:54 PM
silveroak silveroak is offline
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D&D illogic

just needed somewhere to vent about this stuff mostly, but anyone else who feels like commenting, go ahead-
a cow achieves maturity 10 months after being born, roughly 300 days, during this time as a large creature it eats 4 pounds of food a day by D&D rules. it grows, during this time (real world stats) from being about 85-90 pounds to being 2400 lbs if male. Which means it gained 2310 pounds eating 1200 pounds of food. And still pooped.
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Old Feb 12th, 2021, 08:48 AM
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I wouldn't call that illogic. D&D and its ilk are combat simulators, not farming simulators. The rules are designed to do some things well and ignore the rest. That's the game.

D&D also does not dictate that to get a long rest, babies should sleep 15 hours in three hour spurts, teens should get 10 hours for a long rest, and most adults can get by with 7. It's not a neurological development simulator. It doesn't dictate that when rich adventurers come into an isolated kingdom with bags of gold, prices will go up. It's not a macroeconomics simulator.

Games are designed to do some things, and not to do others. That's a logical choice on the creator's part. A universal game with rules for every process would be unbearable.
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Old Feb 12th, 2021, 07:48 PM
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You want illogic?

A turtle and a rabbit are moving along the road. You want to shoot the turtle with a paintball gun, and you want to shoot the rabbit with a paintball gun.

In six seconds, the turtle can move 5 feet.
In six seconds, the rabbit can move 90 feet.

Your chances of hitting both of them are the same.


Speed in DnD has no bearing on your AC (chance of being hit).
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Old Feb 13th, 2021, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admin Dirk View Post
You want illogic?

A turtle and a rabbit are moving along the road. You want to shoot the turtle with a paintball gun, and you want to shoot the rabbit with a paintball gun.

In six seconds, the turtle can move 5 feet.
In six seconds, the rabbit can move 90 feet.

Your chances of hitting both of them are the same.


Speed in DnD has no bearing on your AC (chance of being hit).
Although some of that "being hit" may be more "being hit in a meaningful way" as the turtle's AC is probably more substantially composed of natural armor, standing in for resilience against strikes.

It does break down pretty absurdly almost immediately.
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Old Feb 13th, 2021, 07:40 AM
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Ok, Z...

How about this...

in 3.5, the Monk, the class designed to use the body as a weapon, is not proficient with hitting things with their body as a weapon. Even worse... they are the only class that doesn't have that proficiency.

Illogical enough?
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Old Feb 13th, 2021, 02:09 PM
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That one always makes me crack up.
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Old Feb 13th, 2021, 02:56 PM
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That's always been like one of those scenes were all the bank robbers run out of the bank, jump into the car, and the car peels away... shoots through the streets, gets past the cops, and dives down an alley, where an open garage door is waiting to swallow it up.

They pull in, the door closes, and the police drive past, none the wiser.

And the robbers all look at each other and go "Wait, I thought You grabbed the money, right?"


I can see the designers all sitting around the table, 50,000 books printed and bound and stacked behind them in the warehouse, and they all look at each other and say "Wait, I thought you wrote that proficiency in!"
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Old Feb 15th, 2021, 03:31 AM
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Things like this have always fascinated me. The immovable rod in 3.5 is one of my favorite examples. The idea behind this rod is that, once you hit the button, it doesn't move. Seems fine until you consider real-world physics, and how the earth flies through space at thousands of miles per hour. If your immovable rod doesn't rip itself from your grasp and fly west at 38,000 miles per hour or so, then it seems the rod is only immovable relative to its motion at the time of activation. That works fine most of the time, even on things as small as the moon.

Hilarity ensues when we try to apply this principal to smaller things such as a sailing ship, a flying dragon, or even just a running person. Does the rod maintain its relative speed at the time of activation? If it does, a better name for it might be "Unstoppable Rod".
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Old Feb 15th, 2021, 07:53 PM
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I once wrote a paper for English class in High School postulating that the X-man, Nightcrawler, could not only teleport through distance, but time, partly using that same logic.

I figured he could not simply pick a place and teleport there... he had to (without knowing it) pick a place AND a time, even if it was just a few microseconds in the future, to land... otherwise, with the speed of the earth and the universe moving things, he could end up a quarter inch in the floor, a wall, etc..

The main premise was that if he could teleport a thousand miles and one microsecond into the future, perhaps with training and practice, he could teleport a mile, and a full second into the future. Or, just stay where he was, and teleport a minute into the future.

It was heady stuff for a 16 year old.
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Old Feb 15th, 2021, 10:15 PM
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Still seems like heady stuff to me. I can't tell if you're mature or if I'm childish

There's one more "D&D illogic" bit I remember reading from waaaaay back in the day on another forum somewhere, still pertaining to 3.5 D&D (shocking, I know). Someone claimed that there's technically nothing in the rules that prevents the mount of a mounted creature from also having its own mount, so that by RAW a pixie could ride a halfling riding a dog riding a giant riding a purple worm... you get the idea. I've never looked into it too much as I'm pretty sure any self-respecting DM would shoot down the proposed totem pole of a thousand attacks and ride checks, but thinking about it always makes me chuckle.
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Old Feb 16th, 2021, 10:22 AM
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This reminds me of the peasant railgun!

Free action to hand a spear to the peasant next to you all on the same ini, a mile of peasants, equals a spear breaking the sound barrier when thrown by the last peasant.
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Old Feb 16th, 2021, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silveroak View Post
just needed somewhere to vent about this stuff mostly, but anyone else who feels like commenting, go ahead-
a cow achieves maturity 10 months after being born, roughly 300 days, during this time as a large creature it eats 4 pounds of food a day by D&D rules. it grows, during this time (real world stats) from being about 85-90 pounds to being 2400 lbs if male. Which means it gained 2310 pounds eating 1200 pounds of food. And still pooped.
Bruce Banner gains 912 lbs in a few seconds just by getting angry and changing into Hulk, so obviously this is scientifically sound. Or something.

Then again, a cow is drinking water too--one US gallon weighs 8.33 pounds--so retaining 133 gallons of water over the 300 days would account for the extra weight.
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Old Feb 16th, 2021, 07:24 PM
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I'm not sure any large creature would survive on 4 pounds of food per day.

I am pretty sure the guy I share my office with eats more than that in a day, and while he's good size (6'6" or so), he's not a large creature. Just a former pro arm wrestler.
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Old Feb 16th, 2021, 10:32 PM
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Cows drink 30 gallons of water a day. That's a bath tub full.

Food is not the main problem.
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Old Feb 17th, 2021, 11:13 AM
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In D&D, an angry human can be struck by 20 spears and not die, provided that they have committed a sufficient number of murders in their lifetime.

In D&D, a 300 year old "elf" can shape-shift into a dragon and regenerate limbs.

In D&D, the world is pocked with a variety of dungeons, all of which are:
1) filled with treasure
2) not already plundered by adventurers
3) filled with murderable creatures

In D&D, an 8-ounce "Meat, chunk of" costs 3 silver pieces, even though silver holds a relatively even value over time. That "chunk"-quality meat would be about $27 current USD.

In D&D, a standard-quality dagger that one might find on a homeless urchin, poor farmer, or the lowliest of goblins, costs 2 gold coins, which equal 2/3rds of an ounce of gold. At current strike, that means every dagger costs $1,183.666666666667 is current USD value. Gold is also famous for maintaining its value relative to inflation.

In D&D, if an average human attacked, with the violent intent to kill, a small animal like a cat or a chihuahua, using a flail, crossbow bolt, or even a greataxe, and was successful in the attack... the small animal might still walk away not just without having died, but without having suffered any long-term injury or temporary impairment to mobility.

In D&D, one of the grandest expressions of goodness is murdering things that disagree with your ideals.
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