[Other] Planet of the Pigs

[Iron Signet]

Oh man, I have so many ideas, this is the best thread ever. I obviously need to check out recruitment more often.

Are you still accepting applications? What kind of posting rate do you expect?

You guys have already mostly filled out a Five Man Band, which is so genre appropriate my mind is completely blown right now.

[Red Leper]

I am still recruiting. I think the admins wait until I have at least 4-5 applicants before they give me a thread and I usually wait until then to close recruitment.

You are welcome to toss in a character.

[Red Leper]

Expect loads of pig puns

[PalladiaMors]

You also had me at Thundaar the Barbarian Name: Tessa Nahena (goes by Gears) Race: Procyonid (evolved, anthropomorphic raccoons) Gender: Female Role: Tinkerer, rogue, ranged damage Skills: Can she fix it? Yes she can! Fast hands and sticky fingers Quick on the uptake Guns and other things that go boom Dodging ouchie things   Tessa has the appearance of an anthropomorphic raccoon, with the typical features of greyish-white fur over most of her body, a fuzzy ringed tail, rounded ears at the top of her head, and a black mask of fur around her blue eyes. Shoulder length white hair is worn in an unkempt manner and despite her raccoon-like features, her body shape is mostly human. She's considered pretty by standards of her own people, though others may of course have their own opinions. She stands at just over five feet tall and weighs around 100 pounds when she isn't carrying anything, though she's typically carrying all manner of junk, tools, and weapons in a pack, pouches, or tied to a rope she drags along behind her. Despite the conditions of the post-apocalyptic world she's a bit of a clean freak and does her best to stay nice and clean. She'll typically balk at anything messy, and hates to get dirty. Unless it's caused by her working on some invention or another, as that kind of greasy, dirty, and covered in soot is a mark of pride. She dresses practically, typically favoring a dark cloak with slits cut for her ears meant to keep the hot sun at bay. She wears light armor, but not enough to slow her down or curtail her sharp reflexes and agility. Though she's intelligent and eloquent in her speech, she talks in a crass manner that hides both of those features quite well.   Tessa is a greedy, self-centered, cowardly jerk. She's in it for herself, only wants to get rich, and sees other people as morons who at best she can ignore, and at worst constantly get in her way. Or at least that's what she tries to tell herself. She isn't nearly the misanthrope she tries to be, and has a sense of community and togetherness from living among her people that is very hard for her to ignore. She absolutely is greedy and wants to get rich, but if push comes to shove she'll turn her back on those riches if she has to in order to help someone she calls a friend. Although she'll never let them live it down and will insist they owe her. Down to the last cent. With interest. She may have a heart of gold, but insists she would sell it for above the asking price for gold if she could figure out how. She's friendly enough, even if she's usually figuring out how she can get some coin off of everyone she meets. She'll pass the bill whenever she's able, and thinks nothing of just stealing whatever she wants, though stealing from non-procyonid friends is just rude and bad form. She may be greedy but she doesn't really want to hurt anyone. Except for pigs. Piggies can get $%@#ed.   The procyonid were created shortly after the cataclysm when a colony of raccoons in what used to be California were exposed to that ever-present 1980s menace TOXIC WASTE! Rather than kill them horribly as one would expect, exposure to the strange chemicals instead evolved and transformed them into something much closer to human, much like certain stealth-oriented adolescent tortoises of legend. The procyonid adapted to this change and the changed world quickly, using their natural instincts for getting into things to begin salvaging whatever machinery and technology they could from the world and fixing it up. Initially it was just for their own survival as their numbers began to grow, but it didn't take them long to realize what an advantage their quick hoarding and exploitation of surviving technology could be. The procyonid began trading with other groups of survivors, offering technological items or their expertise in exchange for valuable goods. As pockets of society all over the world began to recover, they started outright selling their goods and services. Procyonid society evolved into a wealthocracy, where power was held by those with the most wealth. Non-violent thievery was not a criminal act among the raccoonfolk, as they believed that if you couldn't hide and protect your money and goods from thieves, you deserved to lose it. Theft through violence was still forbidden, though some would violate that law anyway. As the Porcine Overlord began his rise to power the procyonid turned their technological and inventive expertise to arms dealing. They sold weapons to both the pigs and to the rebels fighting them, with no qualms whatsoever. They were quite happy to take a position of opportunistic neutrality, until the Pig King took control and then did the unthinkable and unforgivable to the procyonid and their technological dealings. He tried to tax them. This immediately turned the whole of the raccoonfolk against him. Since then they have set themselves up as the experts in recovering old technology, researching new technology, building weapons, building buildings, and well... building just about anything, really. Just not for free. As a wise procyonid learned from an ancient recording from the time before the cataclysm - "If you're good at something, never do it for free." Tessa, or Gears as she is known to outsiders, is one of these beings, hailing from a wealthy, but not ruling family in the ruined city of the Land of Oaks, which curiously has no oaks growing in it. One of several children, she grew up rather well all things considered, much better than most beings living in the broken world. She worked hard to enrichen both her family and herself in preparation for her day of financial independence, where she was tasked with leaving her home and seeking her own fortune. She has been on her own for a couple of years now, and though she hasn't made much in the way of wealth, she has been building her skills, locating resources, making contacts, and training in battle against the pigs. She calls it investing for long-term gains, which her family accepts as she is a hard worker and has been making great progress in those areas. She has earned a reputation among some of the other survivors for her resourcefulness, expertise when it comes to both ancient and advanced machinery, and to be fair, larcenousness. As word has begun to spread of an uprising against the Porcine Overlord, she has let it get out that she has an interest in such things. Sure he's evil and needs to be overthrown so that all people of the world can live freely without being tormented by his Pork Chops, but he's also probably very, very rich. Not only does she want to overthrow him, she wants to to rob him blind.   "Tessa Nahena! You have earned the right and paid the appropriate fees to appear before the council of eight and present your investment plan for the destabilization of the empire of one Porcine Overlord and the hostile acquisition of all of his assets to be redistributed among the council with the largest share being held you yourself, as a finder's fee and as the lead adventure capitalist. Is this correct?" bellowed a tinny voice through the few working loudspeakers that had been repaired and set up around the skybox of the old coliseum in the ruins of the Land of Oaks, where once gladiators of truly A quality did battle. The speaker, the highest of the council of eight, sat in a lush, comfortable skybox along with the other seven members, various servants attending to the needs of the gathered and wealthy raccoonfolk known as the procyonids. One of the procyonids stood on a small mound in front of the skybox, holding a microphone that was hooked up to several speakers nearby. She waited for just the proper length of time before delivering her answer, which was accompanied by a high-pitched shrieking noise coming from the speakers. "That's right right your exalted exalted wealthiness ness," she began, wincing at the echo and feedback as the council likewise recoiled. "Man, what kinda trash panda built this crap? I got this!" she yelled up to the council without making use of the screeching microphone. The procyonid turned to the rustbucket of a speaker system and quickly got to work with wrenches, screwdrivers, a soldering gun, and a number of other tools. In short time she had fixed it up to her liking, picking up the microphone and speaking into it again. "Better? There we go! Shoulda called a freakin' professional in the first place! So yeah, basic investment opportunity. I got word that various factions of anti-bacon renegades are gettin' together to take that fat fart out for good. An' I just happen to have tapped into a very sloppy an' unsecured connection and got my hands on not only a few key maps, but a rumored weakness in that tower! Seems there might be a problem with a thermal exhaust-" she began, only for a loud cough from the head councilman to cut her off. "And you're volunteering to join these forces? Splendid! That is indeed a low risk, high reward proposition! At least for us. It sounds like a rather high risk situation for you though, which baffles us as to why you would volunteer. But we are pleased to-" he exclaims in an excited tone, the rest of the council of eight nodding their heads in agreement. "What?!? No! I wasn't sayin' that! I was sayin' I could sell that information to those clowns in exchange for a small fee up front, but a larger percentage of the take! Basically no risk, other than travel expenses! I ain't volunteerin' for-" Tessa objected, flailing her arms in protest at what she was being signed up for. "Well that's a splendid idea too! Please visit our requisitions representative for any additional funding, and good luck with your expedition! Council adjourned!" the head councilman cheered, the rest of the council offering a collective huzzah. Tessa just stared at the collective council as they began to scurry out of their skybox, wondering how she got herself into this and at which exact point it all went wrong. But also how she could still turn a profit from it.

[Red Leper]

The thread is live and I am working on it periodically.

Deadline set for September 6, Friday.

[Mitsubachi]

Unfortunately I think this will be just one game too many for me so I shall bow out.

[Red Leper]

Sad to see you go, Mitsubachi but if you feel like returning, you are welcome to join later.

[ManicMonky]

Erik is done.

[Red Leper]

Why am I waiting until the 6th? Lets just get on over to the thread.

https://www.rpgcrossing.com/forumdisplay.php?f=20926

Post your applications in the character thread and say hello in the OOC chat so we can get this game rolling