[Game Thread] Episode I: Life's worth Livin'

[Fragmaster01]

"Well, the booze offer is still open, if you're a wonderful christmas genie." Niall waves the box under Zaon's nose, as if it were a treat for a puppy. "What do you say? Will you, the great... whomever you are again, help me SAVE CHRISTMAS?"

[Caput]

"How could I refuse? A moment." Zaon slinks off into the party and returns with two beers. Taking the box under one arm, he attempts to put both into Niall's hands. What she does with the gifts he's already given her is her problem. "There you go, Lazy. Drinks. Now should I open this? Is it bees?"

[Code H]

Incen smiled at the little boy, charming tyke... Not that he cared much for children or anything. He tipped his hat to Pocus. The girl on the other hand was hard to impress. Thanks for reminding me why I don't this more often you little... He gave her a cool smile, before turning to the others.

He glanced to more manic woman, already raving about something. Incen seemed to recall her being some sort of lizard. And he remembered enough about her to know he was far too sober to deal with her by half.

He still had a bit of magic at his disposal, might as well make use of it while it lasts, and correct that nagging sobriety. He had his attendant force go fetch himself another gin, and a vodka for Zaon.

He took the glass from the air as it passed, nodding Zaon to the floating vodka.


The next thing to deal with was the blonde woman.

"You could've handled that a lot worse,"

Could have, but didn't. Incen retorted with a smile.

"Marigold, a pleasure, for what it's worth."

Incen. He replied. And no, it doesn't seem to be all that much of a pleasure at all. He added wryly over a sip of gin.


He instead happily turned his attention to the gifts offered by Zaon. He took hold of the two packages, holding them while watching Zaon unwrap his.

Zaon peeled back the singed paper, relieving a small glass bottle, still hot to the touch from being in Incen's pocket. It had a red label and in bright orange letters said, "Firestorm Tabasco".

Incen looked to Zaon with a large self-satisfied smile. The hottest one they had. He said, proudly tapping the bottle. Figured it might remind you of me. He said teasingly.

He left Zaon to wait a few moments.
Not to worry. He said. I also got you a bottle of Vodka, to wash it down. Left it at my apartment though, you know, carrying around a sealed bottle of alcohol for me is a dangerous business.

Satisfied, Incen tore open his own gifts, the paper already starting to smoke under his touch. Hell, two bottles, small and large. Zaon might have gotten him the same thing, Vodka and hot sauce.


Will you, the great... whomever you are again, help me SAVE CHRISTMAS?"

Incen looked to the manic with a raised eyebrow. Save? I didn't realize it was in peril. He waved her off. I think I've met my public service for the day thanks. Don't let me stop you though, do have fun.

[Hanz]

Suddenly, after Incen is done with his conversation, as he returns to whatever he was doing before, a figure sits right behind him as he turns his back, possibly frightening him for a brief second, as he knows who this is. He'd probably also give a sigh of annoyance, because he knows what's coming.

"Seriously, Incen? Again? What have I told you about Advertising your "Abilities" in Public?" Egh, It's Chernabog again, come to take away the fun of being a Wishcaster.

"Here, in Fabletown, we must show restraint, lest we expose ourselves in the Mundy World. This town is not concealed all the time, and it's a matter of time before some trespassing mundy spots you shouting LOOK AT ME, I CAN GRANT WISHES, and come to investigate. You won't know it's a mundy since you'll easily assume it's glamoured or Mundane.

THIS is your final Warning Incen. Start following the rules, this is not acceptable."

Realizing he's disrupting a conversation with you and your friends, Chernabog just decides to get up and walk away, but still giving you the Stink-Eye as he does. What an ass, just like snow, he always did like to ruin your fun. Oh well.

[Code H]

Incen sighs, rolling his eyes. Really? Incen asked with exacerbation. Really? This is what you have to make the "FINAL WARNING" over? He asked with strained annoyance. Although, as he recalled, this was not his first final warning. For at least a time, he looked less like the tall dark stranger he sometimes appeared to be, and became the protesting rebellious teenager he really was. He gestured to the kids, enjoying their drinks. I hovered a few glasses over. You don't think I could have passed that off as some cheep parlor trick? I've seen mundy "magicians" do more impressive. Look, I'm behaving. He motioned down to himself. I haven't burned down anything, or set fire to anything in nearly a week. Perfectly respectable. He concluded.
Bah. He concluded with a snort and a dismissing wave.

He rolled his eyes as the man departed, downing the rest of his gin and dropping the glass carelessly on the table. I hate that guy. He protested.

Incen pulled out a chair and took a glum seat, slouching down into the chair. I used to be a hero! I used to fight minotaurs! I was once locked in battle with an Orc for eight hours! I struck down evil sorcerers, I caught thieves and murderers! I cleared a hundred goblins out of a mine! I was cheered! I was lauded! I slew a dragon!... He paused. Well, nearly. I might have. I definitely would have if I got another chance.

He carefully looked around for any angry faces. Those sorts of boasts used to bring out great cheers in the tavern. Now, they just got people angry at him. Particularly minotaurs, and orcs, and goblins... Its not like I'm calling them all evil, just the ones I fought. They had it coming.

I... I... I, once broke into a temple of Zon-Kuthon! Cut down a dozen of his cultists. Now he, he was evil you could respect. Not just some tubby bearded guy in a suit. He gestured away after the "guy".

Now I can't mix drinks for some kids without getting chewed out by some second-rate neither force, and I'm not even allowed to fight him.

He pushed himself out from the table. Pff. He stood and marched glumly over to the drinks table, getting himself a double straight gin. And he came back to the table with the bottle also in hand.

He sat down, staring down into the clear alcohol, content to trace his finger around the rim of the cup. Slowly it brought the liquor to a boil.

[Fragmaster01]

Zaon: The presents are stuffed deep into the pockets of the Carmen Coat, where no light dares tread. She'll remember it a week from now, when it goes into the laundry.


Incen: "Well obviously, if we don't partake of presents, Christmas will cease to happen. You don't want that to happen." Watching the conversation with Mr. OH NO YOU DIDN"T, Niall calmly pats Incen on the head. There there. Not everyone is cut out for dealing with the Awesome Police.

[Code H]

At the first tap, Incen swatted the offending hand away. He was thoroughly not in the mood for anything like that.

[Fon]

On the other Katina is glad that her "power" is mundane enough that nobody comes and warn her whenever she used it, but then again, maybe not, since the cops sometimes appear when she violently hit someone in the head, or when that happened in fable territory, that sheriff guy. Not that she was doing them intentionally, not most of the time, at least.

"I do think the saying was about giving, not receiving. But thanks anyway." Katina replied to Zaon with a smile, making a mental note to bake him something later.

Though after seeing Incen swiping Niall's hand away, Katina ended up being the one giving the lizard girl pats on her shoulder. "Have you considered becoming a cop?" The mother cat asked the now gloomy genie. "It's not the same as our old world, but at least you'll be a hero to some, and it sounds like that kind of job is what you would have preferred to do." She knows her husband was quite popular with the firefighting force, and was definitely a hero to those whom he saved... even in his grave. It's painful, but that's how men are: doing whatever they want even if that would cost them thier lives. "Still, thanks for putting up a show for my kids."

[Caput]

Zaon catches his drink as Chernabog huffs away. He puts it down on a table with Niall's dubious gift so he can open Incen's. "Damn it man. We're too predictable." His present to Incen is indeed hot sauce and booze: A festive bottle of spiced wine ("serve hot") and something called Devil's Brew Maniac Juice, with a devil on the label that looks an awful lot like Incen's natural form. He pockets his own hot sauce. The hell am I going to do with this? You're a cruel man, Incen. Never change.

He laughs as Katina suggests the police department. "Ha! Now that is a funny idea. I dunno if he has the temperament, but he has got the practical skills" don't suggest the fire department don't suggest the fire department don't suggest the fire department

"Niall, don't wash those this time. They will not survive. Open the littlest one; It'll ruin your beer in the best possible way."

[Hanz]

Kevin Bacon as...
Jack of Fables!

The Door suddenly FLINGS open, smashing into the wall, and causing a bit of snow to fall from atop the water drain, flashing in front of the window.

"Oh gods, Oh gods, a Terrible thing's happened.. *Pant pant* a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THING!" he shouts, panting, exhausted, as he continues after swallowing his breath. "ROSE RED! SHE'S BEEN MURDERED!"

The Whole crowd has mixed reactions of panics or pants, but some people stay silent or laugh it off, after all, Jake has been known to be a trickster. However, he sounded seriously serious.

The whole crowd turns head towards Snow White, known to be Rose Red's sister, they expected a reaction, which they receive in the form of Snow rushing out of the door while dialing a number, Jack following her, as she shouts back to the audience "Everyone stay here! Don't panic!"

About a minute later...

Party's gone awfully quiet after that point. Illegible whispers and mumbles can be heard among the crowd, some debating whether or not this is true, or why Jack would announce this to everyone rather than running to Bigby, whom everyone knows doesn't have a Christmas Spirit and prefers to stay in the office drinking eggnog.

Prince Charming is quick to jump to the Ass-kissing. "It's alright everyone, I'm sure it's just another harmless prank, there's no need to be worried."

"Mommy, what does Jack mean? Rose didn't actually die, did she?" Says Milan to her mother in a worried tone. After all, Rose was a Rebellious girl, and all the youngsters looked up to her.

The over-all news don't seem to have shocked anyone, after all, it's highly unlikely that this is true, and even if it is, Rose had it coming and a visit by Ol' Rattly Bones was long overdue anyway.

[Muggins]

"What rubbish," Marigold scoffed, "fables don't just die. Even if he is telling the truth, which I highly doubt-." She paused for a moment, mulling it over in her head. He always was a kidder, Jack, but he was getting old - and, with age, one would expect a level of taste when it came to pulling pranks. Heck, at that age, pranks should be a thing of the past.

Then again, it seemed like maturity wasn't a particularly strong trait seen amongst fablefolk.

"Even then, she'd be back on her feet in no time," Marigold continued with a start, "and, worse case scenario, she'd turn out like our precious Snow White." Of course, there was the matter that Rose Red wasn't quite as famous as Snow White - which, for a fable, meant more than just fortune. Even so, as long as one person still knew about her, she'd live on, right? She learned and picked up a lot of things, but the resilience of fablefolk wasn't one of them. There were people like her, mere descendants who lived and died on a whim, and then the true fables; those who could survive even the gravest of injuries, as long as faith in their fables could preserve them. In some ways, it was probably quite a horrible fear.

[Code H]

Ha! Incen chuckled at Katina's suggestion. No matter the world, I know a city guard when I see one.

He sighed, hunching his shoulders and taking another drink. It's not a bad idea though. He assured her. But I've already tried. And there are too many problems to list. Half the work is paper work, and that stuff and I don't exactly agree. The other half is all computers. Even worse. He took another deep gulp of gin, relishing in the burn down the back of his throat. Even with my powers of deception, I'd be hard pressed to keep explaining all the burn and melt damage around the precinct. And if any mundies get suspicious quick, its cops.

Even if I could get by all that, they don't exactly pay a rookie enough to keep him in glamour. He added unhappily.


"Still, thanks for putting up a show for my kids."

Incen sighed. Yeh... He muttered, turning his attention to finishing his tall gin.


He looked down to his hand, he was still holding the small bottle Zaon had got him. He'd unwrapped it already, but in the unpleasantness hadn't taken a look. He turned over the little glass bottle, looking at the label even as it browned and curled. It was enough to get him to smirk at least. He unstopped it and emptied a full third into his gin. He gave it a swirl and downed the rest.

Pretty good. He said approvingly with a nod.

He turned to Zaon with a grin. It was that or an electric blanket! He said with a laugh. At least his mood seemed to have recovered. Luckily his mood was a resilient and unpredictable thing, able to turn on a dime. If he was down, it wasn't hard to pick him up. But if he was up, it wasn't hard to fire his rage.

I thought it would make you feel like I was around. Incen continued in good jest. But I figured me handling it might have damaged the electronics inside. Then it might have become a fire hazard. He grinned even wider. So, you know, even more like me. But I didn't particularly feel like seeing you dead. He looked into his empty glass. Who'd I torture without you?


He perked at the cries of bloody murder. But no one seemed to be all that riled up. Least of all Marigold. He started to pour himself another drink, but realized how woozy he'd become after the three he'd already finished. He could barely hold the bottle of gin steady. He planted a stabilizing hand on the table beside him, blinking the eyes on his suddenly ill face a few times.
Probably shouldn't He thought. Eh, just a drop.
He Poured himself a few fingers more of gin, though getting most of it on the table.

If nothing else, this should be interesting. He said after giving himself a moment to steady. But interesting was nothing compared to exciting.

[Fon]

The mother cat didn't find this situation interesting at all, but on the other hand, have something much more concerning to care about than to get offended by thoughtless comments again. "I... I don't know, honey." Katina seemed slightly panicked at her child's question, death is absolutely the WORST subject for these two. "I... I'm sure she'll just return soon, like Marigold said. Now don't you worry, and just go finish your food-- it's getting late and I think we'll be going home after this." She told her children with a nervous smile, but kind of angry at Jack deep down inside; did he REALLY have to yell it out loud? Couldn't he whisper only to Snow White instead? ... Either it WAS a prank, a prank in VERY poor taste, or he was genuinely shocked by the death of Red Rose... Almost everyone who saw that would react the same way as he did.

Being a practically unknown fable means Katina and her family are in real danger of dying; the only reason they're still alive now is probably because of how "catfolk" as a whole is still kind of known among the people, so she's definitely not risking her children, in the event that Jack wasn't joking.

Katina hopes that WAS just a prank, but... she assumes the worst.

[Caput]

"You're mother's right. I wouldn't worry about it just yet. The guy tells lies and even if he really meant it he was probably just panicking." If that woman really is dead we're in trouble. Whoever did it would have had to be determined, and the bastards will probably lynch him for it. Or somebody, at any rate.

Zaon unceremoniously reaches into Niall's pocket and pulls out one of the gifts he's just given her. "In the spirit of giving rather than receiving, I'm officially helping you share your miracle fruits with the kids. You guys chew up one of these things for a minute or so and try all the food. It makes it taste completely different." And if that doesn't distract you then nothing will.

[Fragmaster01]

Niall is delighted at the gift. "Most rad. What happens if you eat one when you've already eaten one? Do you taste two different things?" She's not going to, of course, she knows better. But gosh it would be funnnn...