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Old 04-09-2019, 11:26 PM
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Ronin Buckman - Application Review

This is for Strongholds and Kingdoms

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Originally Posted by Treble83 View Post
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Application
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Name: Ronin Buckman

Race: Half Elf
Class: Rogue, Inquisitive
Gender: Male
Alignment: Chaotic Good

Physical Description: If not for my well groomed facial hair, I could easily pass as a hearty wood elf. Although muscular, my 5'9" frame is not what any human would call "large." I also have long dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

My armor is typically some variation of leather, as I enjoy moving freely and quietly. For my clothing, I prefer shades of green and brown, as those are the colors of my house.

Background/History: My father was a powerful (Human) Knight with his own keep, in the forest, south of The Sword Lands. He was awarded that title and property after leading several successful incursions as an officer in his Lord's Army. My father met my mother, a Wood Elf hunter, in the forest near our keep. By then, he was nearing 50 years of age. Although they were tecnically very close in age, my mother always seemed much younger than him.

My parents loved each other, and me, very much. However, they never hid the fact that none of us would ever be fully welcome among the Human or Elven community. Despite that, the Noble status of my Mother and I was never challenged (not openly anyway).

Things were wonderful for my first 20 years. I learned how to handle a sword and the basics of bureaucracy from my father. From my mother, I learned to appreciate nature, how to move silently, and how to properly use a bow. Finally, from watching them with each other, and in their dealings with others, I learned to be humble and to never judge another by their race alone.

Shortly after my twentieth name day, my father passed of natural causes. My mother was left in charge of the keep and I foolishly left her, to seek adventure and to make a name for myself. I found work on a merchant fishing vessel and spent days, sometimes weeks, gone to sea. Instead of adventure, I got long days of back breaking labor. Still, it felt good to earn my wages and I learned a lot about surviving (Thieves' Cant, Sleight of Hand, Expertise)

About six months ago, a new guy joined our crew. He was a young, shifty looking human that looked like he had never spent a day on a ship. I could relate and even felt badly for him That was until he tried to pull a dagger on me for seemingly no reason. In the struggle, I managed to turn the dagger back on him. I didn't intend to kill him but the Captain and crew agreed that it was self defense.

I couldn't understand why that happened until we came back to shore. That's when I learned of my mother's murder. Apparently someone wanted us out of the keep, probably to take it for their own. I will honor my parent's by taking care of our family home but I will also seek out those that did this...

 


 

 
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:24 AM
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Modified background..

After the attack, I was shaken up pretty badly. Despite having trained for combat, most of my life, this was different. As far as this man knew, I was nobody and nothing was to be gained by attacking me...When we returned to shore, I went straight to the tavern. I was shocked to see our estate's butler waiting for me at one of the tables. When I was sure that we would not be overheard, I smiled at him and shook his hand. I recall thinking how good it was to see a friendly face. I also recall the solemn expression on his face as he told me that my mother was very ill. The healers believed it to be some sort of poison but for reasons beyond their knowledge, they could do nothing to heal her.

Suddenly, the "random" attack on me made more sense. Someone knew exactly who and where I was. Whomever it was meant to destroy my family. What I could not (and have not) discovered was who or why. We rushed back to my family's estate, barely taking time to rest. I made it in time to spend one helpless week with her. Through tear filled eyes, I vowed to her that I would take care of the estate and that I would seek vengeance on those that brought this pain upon our family.
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Last edited by Treble83; 04-11-2019 at 12:26 AM.
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Old 06-15-2019, 03:01 PM
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Off the bat, I haven't a clue what Buckman's personality is like.

What are his strengths; weaknesses?

Does he have a sense of humor or is the grouchy can't take a joke sort?

Does he have any habits? Smoking, fiddling with his signet ring or perhaps he chews his lips.

Breathe some personality into the character not just a background.

Last edited by Gualdarrama; 06-15-2019 at 03:01 PM.
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Old 07-04-2019, 10:58 PM
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While it may be a matter of personal preference I would suggest shifting to a third-person perspective when describing your character. If you want to use first-person then consider framing it like he's at a tavern somewhere sharing his story with some drunk patrons who are barely paying attention to his tale.

Did Ronin leave the family keep simply because he sought adventure, or for a more personal reason?

Why did he leave his Mother and the keep?

Did someone teach him his Thief-y abilities?

How does he feel about taking the life of another, no matter how unintentional?

Does he feel responsible for leaving and potentially leading to his Mother being killed?
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Last edited by Tyeal; 07-04-2019 at 10:59 PM.
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