I was fascinated by how the computer had an uncanny ability to anticipate and create pairings that would submit similar themes and approaches. This made for exciting matches with small differences determining the win/loss/draw. Thanks to everyone for your tremendously creative and enjoyable reads!
Feedback: This is a match! Both stories are set in the future and feature folklore characters with very defined tasks for the party. Both scenarios present high stakes for success or failure. Each submission had areas where it was superior to the other submission so that no one submission landed a knockout.
Dworin: Your second submission continues to be rich in folklore, and you do an amazing job of plucking traditional elements of lore for a gaming scenario. I was surprised that the champion of tradition and culture, Ded Moroz, ditched his traditional herald, Snegurochka, for some dude named Vinokurov. The fact that it intrigued me is a testament to how invested you made me feel about the story. I think your submissions will flourish as the word count expands in later rounds; for now, as with the previous entry, the enormity of the lore seemed to struggle to fit into the word count and push aside essential ingredients.
, RoBi: At its core, this is a party battle against space goblins with a reward that hints at future adventure. That has such a classic RPG space opera feel to it! I'd pluck down my money at the local gaming story to buy and play this scenario! Moreover, one of the essential ingredients--the plague cloud--is a key element of the goblins' tactics to subdue the party.This is where the submission shines, and placing the other ingredients and the NPC at the center of the story as well could really elevate the competitiveness of the submission.
Feedback: Does anyone else find this kind of eerie? Before the submissions were even written, the Swiss-sys computerized matching system paired these two entries that would have the most similarity. Both have a plague about to descend on the location. Both feature a herald arriving into town on a hag in order to offer a solution. Both are 5e. Both are more like the other than any other entry this round. Freaky. I think I better get straight to the individual feedback while our computer overlords still allow us our hobbies and distractions ...
Thaco: This is an incredibly tightly-wound narrative that should have the party still in doubt about who is telling the truth--hag or herald--until the herald's madness is sprung. Then there is the exciting race for ingredients against time. It all runs on knife's edge ... and it almost falls apart. I'm not the grammar police, but the misuse of "Capitol" instead of "capital" in the opener put me on guard that the submission might have been a bit rushed. And when I come to other aspects of the story that require some thought (why a nag and not a destrier? why no written message with the herald?), I don't know if I should invest the time to figure them out or skip over them assuming they are a mistake or something not fully thought out. A GM shouldn't have to think up explanations for these possible story gaps, but I think a good GM could ... and would recognize that the layers of revelation and storytelling in this submission deserve that effort.
O2cxt3: This is a great entry that puts the ingredients front and center and builds the encounter around them. It perfectly explains why the hag is a hag, and why the herald has come from a king unknown. If it had been just that, then it might have fallen in this round because of its lack of something special and because it was up against a strong competitor submissions. But the description of the plague cloud is plausible, horrific, and narrated with such flair that it brings the drama. If you can keep the same technical skill throughout your submissions and add plague-cloud-level imagination to each ingredient, then you might be unstoppable.
Feedback: Strangely enough, this is the only one of four matches where the submissions bring vastly different interpretations to the match. One entry is more bare-bones built around one strong idea, and the other to is festooned in themes and characters. In this round, the more fully developed scenario pulls out the win.
Begon Ugo: You bring us into a focused, physically small setting, and I think that's really evocative of the wide-space to small-quarters transition a post-adventuring party would experience, as well as reflective of the timeless story of the displacement a soldier feels returning home from battle. Add to this the fact that you pack drinking, fighting, and the possible arrival of enemy reinforcements into this setting. So, mechanically, there is much to like in the setting and the scenario. There are classic characters and themes: the blocking figure, brotherhood of arms vs domestic life, etc. but the way they are presented as problematic stereotypes (the effeminate herald and his degenerate friends; the corpulent, overbearing mother-in-law; the voiceless and clueless bombshell wife) is a needless tripping point for a wide audience, and for me it becomes one that overshadows an encounter where so many other elements and ingredients could have been embellished instead.
Azathool: Count me a fan of your dedication to continuing a story through all four rounds of the competition. In this round, I think you managed to patch in the new ingredients to the previous narrative in order to keep the momentum going. None of the ingredients really stood out, but they also seemed to work within your story arc. A tactical player whose sole focus was winning this contest might, going forward, abandon the four-part narrative and make a strategic choice in the next round to tighten the focus on the given ingredients (the further we go, the more ingredients there will be, and the harder it will become to add each of them in while carrying the weight of the previous ones). That's a choice before you, and there's no shame if you try a new tact next round. But ... there's also something to be said for continuing the four-part arc, no matter how it might complicate your process. That might not be moneyball Iron DM'ing it ... but it could be something just as fun, performance art with BB coding and a daredevil star-and-striped cape. So if you choose to be Evel RPG Knievel, and choose to make the next two rounds your Snake River Canyon ... I'm here for it whether you ultimately stick the landing or plummet downward on your badass bike.
Feedback: Two theaters of the absurd and two mad NPCs challenge the parties with bizarre tasks. For one, the stakes are literally nothing. For another, the stakes are the point ... and perhaps a trap. This was incredibly difficult to choose; both used the ingredients more or less successfully, and the quality of writing and scene-setting on both sides did not make the choice any easier.
Strangemund: This is beautifully written. A playful NPC who gradually reveals itself to be a frightening and powerful menace ... more so because it ultimately reveals that the real menace is the players' (not the characters') greed (and recognizing and achieving that difference is super-cool). I loved how the fool was literally advanced topsy-turvy to lead from one stage of the gamble to another. This series of revelations is cinematic gold in the hands of a capable GM. Like a jack-in-the-box, the entire effect springs on the players at one moment (when they realize they have gone too far or when they wisely but reluctantly walk away) ... and the build-up to this moment is sensational.
Boss Nadar: I started by reading your rival's submission, and after doing so I didn't think you had a chance. It was that good and, if this was a boxing match, Strangemund would have taken several rounds. But I kept returning to your plague cloud and the ridiculous antics that it would force on the players. It would be a blast to be forced to sound out all the fighting noises or go through spells to avoid any with the letter "e." And even more fun would be to get player input on possible restrictions ... and I bet players would actually enjoy thinking up penalties for themselves. Ultimately, that's why I'm giving your entry the win. Your significant NPC, the King of Nothing, is an adversary to the players ... but one who presents literally no stakes and still creates maximum player buy-in. The party who encounters this adversary comes away with a memorable and hilarious game night no matter the result.
Judges Feedback: Dowrin There are some fun mechanical elements introduced here, that will span over a much larger scene than just the main encounter that the round focuses on. As a GM, this let me think about how I would apply this particular scene in a game. Presenting a system-agnostic scenario is fine, though labeling it as such upfront can help set some expectations. I appreciated that you spent most of your word count on the encounter part which was the most important.
RoBi Clear-cut flow of how this encounter proceeds, with the illusion of choice from the players. They really don't have a choice, until the last segment where the rest of the 'encounter' plays out. The setup was great, I wish the focus of where the text was spent would have been on the resolution, where the players are likely to spend most of their time in this scenario.
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Thaco
X
O2cxt3
X
Judges Feedback: Thaco Very solid encounter here, I think you strike an excellent balance of setup, mechanics for the actual encounter, and good resolution. Everything was clear and understandable, and I could even pull out all the ingredients being used on a first pass read. (I often look to the tables provided, which I do appreciate, spelling out ingredient usage. This will be more of an issue when more ingredients are being used). Excellent entry, and a great example I would point to and say, 'See! This is how it should be done'.
O2cxt3 This was overall a very good entry. Great formatting and flow. The actual encounter itself is one that many players and groups might simply pass by, without ever engaging the horse and rider. I like that the players have a choice to be involved, but there seemed to give the players motive to investigate, other than 'it is there'. Balance-wise, a little less on the setup, and a little more on the encounter could have been useful as well.
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Begon Ugo
X
Azathool
X
Judges Feedback: Begon Ugo Very compact, solid entry with great mechanics added to encounter the Hag. I love how you focused on the most important aspect of the entry, AN encounter, rather than trying to do too much. The listed skill DCs and checks are a bit meaningless without a given system, or character level for them, but this is a minor nitpick.
Azathool When it comes to visual appeal, there is a lot to like in this entry (and maybe just a bit over the top in the variance of text sizes). You do a good job of labeling everything and making the flow of the adventure clear. The main thing that could help you out here, would be to consider what the focus of the round is. In this case, an encounter. When trying to have several of them for a short adventure, each one ends up being just a little thin.
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Strangemund
X
Boss Nadar
X
Judges Feedback: Strangemund Extremely creative entry, great formatting, wonderful mechanics. Focus on a single encounter, and making it multi-faceted was fantastic. One of the best entries this round by far.
Boss Nadar Great encounter, with so much room for fun and improvisation by players as they deal with an insane King. I like that non-traditional solutions are encouraged, because literal interpretations for some would be near impossible in the timeframe. Like your competitor's entry, one of the best this round!
Judges Feedback:
In the end, I couldn't make a decision between these two entries. Both entries had creative and fun premises, but both of them also had major issues that the contestants should have been able to avoid. I hope to see slightly more complete work from both of you next round.
Dworin, I read your encounter as Intro to Santa versus the Megacorporations. A fitting enough modern story, and one with the opportunity to carry a lot of social commentary. However, I found there to be a huge gap in your encounter, and that was a lack of information for the players. You create the setting, the stakes, the tension, but... there's an absolute lack of context for the players. Are they civilians? Shadowrunners? Vampires? Retired? Does magic exist? Is this set in Russia, or a fantasy equivalent? It's really important to give enough context for the players to create characters to participate in the encounter.
Robi, your entry felt very rushed to me, with a lot of very basic issues that might have been cleared up with a second pass. It also felt like it wasn't a single encounter, but several, so I didn't feel it really lived up to the challenge we set this round. But the biggest problem is the lack of player agency. I mean, easily half of your entry is taken up by teachning the players that they have to do what this artifact wants, because they'll be punished if they do anything else. I think with a few editing passes, this could be a fun space adventure, but no amount of zany combat versus evil space goblins trying to terraform the universe will make up for "if the players try to go somewhere else, they black out and reappear where the artifact says they should be".
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Thaco
X
O2cxt3
X
Judges Feedback:
This was a great matchup for me. On one hand we have Thaco, who provided a traditional and straightforward encounter. On the other we have O2cxt3, who delivered a creative premise that suggests a much wilder adventure to come. However, when it came to execution there was no contest for me: Thaco's delivery was very clean and tight, while O2cxt3's was much too simple to really deliver what I was hoping for.
Thaco, your entry feels like a very traditional DnD adventure: the party is sent by the Queen to deal with a Bad
Thing. They fight some monsters they find a wizard who will help them save the day, if they do a quest. As much as I love
thinking outside the box, there's a lot to be said for thinking inside the box done well. There are a few very small issues with this adventure; like whether or not you meant it when you say that the party is infected by walking close to villagers, or just exposed to the disease, and what that might mean. But as a while I was very impressed with this simple and straightforward encounter.
O2cxt3, I found your encounter to be a little bland. I do like setting and premise: an otherworldly king sending a messenger to protect the world from a dangerous threat... But I wish the encounter was more than "Here is the premise. The NPC has arrived. Here is a list of what they talk about." I also wish that you had gotten more use out of the ingredients: for instance, the "plague clouds" are a gigantic swarm of "shadow dancers" (which are very cool!), but the shadow dancers are basically evil hummingbirds. It feels like a major missed opportunity to make them... plague-themed.
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Begon Ugo
X
Azathool
X
Judges Feedback:
This decision was an open and shut case for me, and it really came down to scope and scale. Begon Uno, you delivered a great encounter with a clear setting, stakes, and fairly clear outcomes. Azathool, you delivered several loosely connected encounters that continued the story you began in the previous round -- and as a result your pieces ended up feeling disconnected and unimportant.
Begon Ugo, a chef's kiss to how tightly designed your encounter is. You start at the point where it matters, introduce the characters and the stakes, and provide just enough context for it to work. I would have liked, however, a little more attention paid to the mechanics. You don't list the level or system, or whether the Nag Hag is actually a true hag or just a mean old lady. I also didn't see a reason that the encounter comes across as so simple: She says that the herald will never take his wife... but then apparently if the party succeeds three skill checks she just gives her up?
Azathool, I'm sorry to say that no part of this encounter landed for me. Firstly, I think your entry is split into too many scenes to feel like "an encounter". It feels like at least two encounters, which is a problem because that means it doesn't really succeed at the task put before you in the first place. Another large problem is that I don't see any meaningful chances for the players to interact with the world. I mean, there are two cases where an NPC appears, gives the party a maguffin and a lore dump, then disappears before they can be asked questions. And two DC26 will saves (in 5e, those are all but impossible). The PCs don't even get to choose if they take the old useless horse. I also wish you had spent more time clarifying what was happening instead of trying to cover so much ground getting the PCs from point A to point B.
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Strangemund
X
Boss Nadar
X
Judges Feedback:
There are a lot of simiarities in the entries for this matchup. Both focus around a supernatural entity that barges in on an unsuspecting party, and provides them a new challenge by forcing the party into a precarious position. Both encounters even fall similar pitfalls of assuming the party is going to buy in right away. But in the differences, Strangemund's entry pulled ahead for me, with the Three-Faced Fool and it's demands being a much more evocative than those of the King of Nothing.
Strangemund, I really liked most of your entry. The premise is fantastic: a supernatural creature who interrupts a summoning ritual the party is performing for some other reason. Great! The Fool itself is wonderful and dynamic, but I would have really liked to see a little readaloud text for the GM, just to help them get in the right mood for each of the phases. I would have also appreciated slightly more clarity in the link between the level/difficulty and the stage of the fool, because I'm still not totally sure how that works.
Boss Nadar, I feel you had potential with your entry, but you missed the mark a little bit. You wrote an encounter where the party is abducted by a supernatural creature, and given a bunch of arbitrary orders to follow. This is a cool premise that adds a lot of tension. However... it misses a critical piece in order to make it work: consequences. There doesn't seem to be even a mention of what might happen if the party doesn't immediately buy into the premise and do what they're told: Object in the trial? Fail the tasks? Try to fight? No guidance. You added some bonus rules near the end, which is an okay twist, but I really feel those words would have been better used filling in that big gap -- or other smaller gaps, like how there appears to be a d20 system assumed, but none listed.
Feedback: These entries are so strong and I loved them both. It was really close! Rhaiber captured the win in the second column, with the Friendship is Magic mechanic for managing Riff Raven's ongoing relationship with the party, and the Flexible Options contingencies, which I really liked. But these are two excellent writers with confident voices. In spite of the whimsical content, these encounters are seriously well put together.
Briar: This is so sweet and heart-warming, and would be a fun encounter to play. I can just imagine this blossoming after the PCs have had several side interactions with Cherie, so that when this seemingly minor NPC gets her own moment in the limelight, the players feel responsible. It could bloom so naturally via what they would perceive to be unrelated threats, turning out to be related. I enjoy the idea of the deceptive dangers, which appear to be harmful and yet are something much less sinister, and I think the challenges are nicely varied. What gave me pause here was the sequence. I wonder if after the first perceived threat turned out to be innocent and birthday-related the second would turn out to be less of a surprise, and if the third would even raise the tension or be worth worrying about for the PCs. If you figure out Gwretchen is making a cake, you might infer the Black Roses are here for a party. Though unraveling the mystery early would make the encounter shorter, it would still be fun, and maybe there's room for the PCs to add their own ideas to the birthday shenanigans. Also, beautiful formatting! Gah!
Rhaiber: I'm not huge fan of real world pop culture references in fantasy games, but for the right party, and within the right campaign, this puzzle would be really fun to figure out. I like that the "posh litter" was used as the eleven clues to find the roses, and the objects were very clever. With this room building upon the last encounter, the players will probably be primed for some kind of play like this, and be looking for the connection, which is cool. I loved Riff Raven, the Sage of Misinformation, and I think you really nailed the assignment of creating an NPC that the players could have an ongoing relationship with, in this case defined by the Friendship score, that complicates his ability to share his knowledge. My very favorite thing about this entry, though, was the Flexible Options section. These are ideas and modifications that a veteran DM might be able to come up with on the fly, but it's nice to see the thought process laid out, and a section like this would give even novice DMs a lot of confidence that they could roll with whatever their players did.
Feedback: Gaijin's Spelljammer was so evocatively described and jbear's literary interpretation was so engaging -- this one was really close and both entries were extremely strong. In the end, in spite of Gaijin's flawless formatting, I liked jbear's Ravenica better than the ship's AI consciousness, RAVEN.
Gaijin: Your descriptive writing is wonderful. The "box text" to read aloud to players felt fully rendered, and really took me to this place. Well done. The fact that there were eleven roses made that ingredient tricky, because using them in a way where each one had to be dealt with separately could turn the encounter into a bit of a grind. I am sure with more word count you would have had a longer hazard table, and more ramifications for a failed repair, but ultimately to move forward the players can't really fail too much, or they won't get the AI going, so I wonder if doing 11 successful repairs might drag the pace. Still, this entry was slick and stylish, both visually and conceptually.
jbear: I am a sucker for Oscar Wilde, so this sequel to "The Nightingale and the Rose" had my full attention from the jump. I love the evolution of the vain girl, the spurned lover, the dead nightingale. I love that absolutely everyone in this is awful, except Gale himself, true to the original story. I love the character Ravenica, and it's fantastic how much character identity you managed to cram into this encounter. However, I did feel the cuts coming through in your brusque diction, and I knew you were keeping it so tight for word count reasons. In future, if you find yourself needing words, consider cutting the "Sequence" and "Opportunities" sections. They're great for expressing your vision of how it would play out, but not really necessary for a DM to be able to run this. In spite of how well you have it plotted, of course these sections may become irrelevant depending on what the DM wants or the players do, leaving the DM to improvise anyway, so if you need the space, don't waste it on an outline that will probably be derailed by a party in twenty minutes. You know you have too much going on here to really fit into the scope of this round, but I understand that you wanted the idea to be fully realized, and it's such a good one.
Feedback: I love a robot, and Auron's forgotten Shield Guardian has great potential as a party ally. However, Humble Athena's surprise lycanthropes made a better encounter.
Auron3991: Reginald IV is a cool construct. I like his optimism about his creator's forgetfulness, his use of magic, his tea and properness, and his promise of becoming a butler. I found the quest itself so unique: Help the village top an artificer from leaving his trash around. The challenge in getting to Theodore's residence is well laid out, but I was left so curious about what would happen when the party meets Theodore. Will he deny having "forgotten" Reginald's command? Will he take responsibility for abandoning his projects around town? Is he a threat? I recognize that this specific encounter is all about getting there, but it felt a bit empty without seeing the actual confrontation with Theodore himself.
Humble Athena: Two things that really caught my curiosity were the idea of the lycanthrope clans, and the idea of the weretigers reproducing. Both of these elements of this world left me wanting to play into this scenario and find out more. This felt like it was a real part of a fully rendered world, and had a very cool flavor: mystical and intriguing. The funeral procession was very creepy and well-wrought, down to the inclusion of the severed arm along with the eleven sad coffins. Your descriptions were great, your creative story really grabbed me -- a few formatting glitches could be cleaned up easily for next round.
Feedback: Ghostwalking's story was more of an encounter than Qiksilv's NPC introduction.
Ghostwalking: This is easy to read, and the situation is complex and interesting. The characters witness the springing of an ambush, and get to be surprised by a familiar character's true identity. Both of those surprises seem like they would play well at a table. A little more emphasis on the characters' actual involvement in the scene would be great to focus on, going forward. In this scenario, Imrodel Noroelwa has revealed herself as a liar and betrayer, but she has her reasons, and the PCs former employer Johan Zakir, is now revealed as someone with dark secrets. They really have to make a choice here, but their options and the consequences aren't very clearly laid out, and they may be left observing rather than initiating. It also requires quite a bit of build and backstory.
Qiksilv: I love the idea of Kakaw. I love the secret that will build over the course of many encounters and eventually be revealed to shock the PCs. This entry however is less of an encounter and more of an NPC concept. While it's kind of wry and meta that one of the random ingredients is literally just a suggestion for a random ingredient, in future make sure the ingredients are integral to the plot of a particular that will play out for the PCs. While Kakaw's story will play out over time, the end scene is, as written, also something the characters would just observe.
Feedback: Wow, the elegant presentation of both offerings here was a real feast for the eyes making a clear decision extremely difficult. You love to see it. Extra props for tying previous entries into an already challenging task. I read through both multiple times and each was just as good as the first, you're both obviously very skilled at what you do.
Briar: This is such a fun encounter and I loved seeing Gwretchen making another appearance. Plenty of memorable characters, an interesting setting, and creative usage of the ingredients fit together seamlessly in the colorful picture you've painted.
, Rhaiber: I found myself reading Riff's dialog in the voice of John Ratzenberger and smiling. Absolutely loved the Friendship is Magic mechanics as well as the Flexible Options sidebar making this encounter easier to run. That's what clinched the win here for me. This encounter would be every bit as fun to run as it would be to play.
Feedback: Okay, this match was by far the hardest for me to decide. Both are beautifully formatted, well written, and complete with everything needed to drop on an unsuspecting party. You've each painted very vivid and wildly different scenes populated with memorable characters, I thoroughly enjoyed reading (and re-reading) these encounters even if assigning scores was an excruciating exercise in analysis paralysis. This is what Iron D.M. is all about.
Gaijin: What's not to love about a sentient ship? There's a reason this trope is present in so much media; it's just that cool. I would very much enjoy playing through this encounter and befriending the Kenku AI and would certainly have fun rolling on that hazard table as a DM, even if it could drag things out a bit.
Jbear: Well, for one I love how everyone is both victim and villain in some capacity and the overall vibes are spot on for this tragic gothic horror scenario. This is also a mastery of game-enhancing mechanics on full display. The pre/post-sunset shift feels very Castlevania-esque and sets up a fantastic reveal to a major encounter crescendo.
Feedback: Once again some fresh, creative interpretations of ingredients on display from both offerings which, I do enjoy. Either encounter feels easy enough to drop into an ongoing campaign and introduce a significant NPC and, from a player's perspective, both encounters would be fun to solve and experience. I'm looking forward to what you both will create as the word count increases.
Auron3991: This is a cool little side mission to drop in between story arcs or when you maybe didn't have as much time to prepare as one might prefer. I think a bit more story/info behind Theadore and the town would tie a nice bow around the whole thing. A maze is always fun, especially for the player who loves to draw maps, and populating it with monsters will be sure to keep the murder-hobos well, you know.
Humble Athena: Your creative use of the ingredients really hit right and sold this to me. I love the layers of secrets here and can see myself having a lot of fun with this encounter from either side of the screen. This is something that could easily be snuck into an ongoing campaign or even be something to build upon; nice work.
Feedback: I was so very close to calling this match a draw. Both offerings would require a fair bit of set-up that would eventually be more than offset by a major twist and undeniably memorable NPCs. As a player, I don't think I'd easily forget the moment when everything came together and a choice had to be made with the trusted NPC.
Ghostwalking: Whew, what a tough choice to drop on some unsuspecting players! Betray someone who has been paying (and maybe even equipping) them but has a dark and violent secret past or betray someone who has helped them and everyone around her but kept her own secrets. Can either be trusted? You've painted an excellent scene here and the ingredients feel wholly organic, even if the encounter requires a slow build-up.
Qiksilv: I do enjoy the mysterious stranger/merchant trope and the big reveal with this one seems like so much fun. As a player, the realization that I'd helped set up such an elaborate encounter would be amazing and that's what pushed it over for me. Kakaw seems like the kind of powerful NPC you'd be thankful to have on your side and the fetch quests would be fun to impose on the party as a DM.
__________________
He/Him
Want to see some Spelljamming? Join me and the other Astral Agents as jbear plots a course through Wildspace! roleINC on YouTube.
Last edited by AnotherDragoon; Nov 5th, 2023 at 01:23 AM.
Briar: What a creative way to promote tension by having the surprise party the PC’s don’t know about! I loved how everything centered around Cherie and worked to make that NPC significant. This really made your submission stand out. I also thought the way you incorporated the one-winged raven as Cherie’s departed caretaker was really nicely done and completely believable. Consider making the other two ingredients even more of a focal part of the encounters in the future!
Rhaiber: Just absolutely amazing writing, as always! The player text provided is a joy to read and would be really fun to play and DM. I also loved your use of rolls to support Riff’s friendship score with the PC’s. Consider having even more of a central focus on the NPC. I liked your use of Riff as a raven, but consider making the other ingredients even more important and for all of the ingredients to work together to introduce that amazing NPC!
Gaijin vs. jbear
Game ADJUCATION
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Gaijin
X
jbear
X
Gaijin: I loved the idea of the ship distress call and AI NPC! This encounter would be a lot of fun to DM and to play. Really great use of the rose and raven ingredients and clever play on words to make it all fit with the Recurrent Output Synaptic Element! I thought it was very effective to have all of the events leading up to the big reveal of the NPC. Consider making that final ingredient even more important and vital in the future rounds!
jbear: This was really beautifully presented and packed with information for the DM! I thought your incorporation of the Sequence at the end was really helpful for the DM to tie things together for their PCs. Consider providing even more information to help keep the multiple NPCs and events straight for your DM! I thought the rose garden and Ravica ingredients worked really well. I also liked how you weaved the multiple NPCs into the story. Consider focusing even more on that one significant NPC and how it will interact with the PC’s moving forward!
Auron3991 vs. Humble Athena
Game ADJUCATION
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Auron3991
X
Humble Athena
X
Auron3991: I really enjoyed Reginald IV! This would be a fun NPC to play and to incorporate into an adventure as a DM! Consider giving even more information about why the PC’s are there and what the stakes are for the town if the PC’s succeed or fail. I thought it was really effective how you mapped out everything within the fungal maze! Consider providing even more reasons for why the party should go through the maze to heighten the tension and fun of the encounter!
Humble Athena: I loved the twist at the end with the secret of the Marchioness as a were-tiger and her kitten as her last surviving cub! That really made this entry stand out in my mind in the fun factor as this would be a joy to DM! Great use of all three ingredients, which really make sense when you take into account her being a were-tiger. Consider focusing even more on the potential relationship and future between the PC’s and the Marchioness as a significant NPC!
Ghostwalking vs. Qiksilv
Game ADJUCATION
Name
Win
Loss
Draw
Ghostwalking
X
Qiksilv
X
Ghostwalking: Right off the bat, what an amazing set-up and creative use of the raven ingredient! I’m still thinking about the way the ship crashed and the natives’ reaction to it - let alone the PC’s - a few days after reading your submission! This encounter would be a joy to DM at this set-up alone, but you also bring in the woman NPC with a clever use of the roses ingredient and heighten the PC’s tension with the revelations about her relationship to their employer. Consider making that third ingredient even more important for the encounter!
Qiksilv: This encounter was a joy to read and what a creative use of the raven ingredient! I also really liked the way you incorporated the roses ingredient in Karaw’s request to the PC’s. The flavor text was great, but consider providing even more of a focus and perhaps a heightened tension or purpose for your DM about why the PC’s are interacting with Karaw and what issues are at stake with this interaction. I thought your twist was a really cool idea that I would enjoy springing on the PC’s as the DM using this encounter!
Oct 29th, 2023, 03:40 PM
