[D&D-5e] A Story of Unlife: Academic Pursuit

[HexenArzt]

No worries, I've updated my background

[Theore]

Some potential interest here, FatherDondo.

Question: How do you feel about someone playing a goblin? More specifically - a "holy" charlatan goblin in hopes of coming into televangelist wealth?

With races being the product of mutation here, I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to play my little green man. Post apocalyptic desperation, people looking for places to turn, religion offering easy peace, someone willing to capitalize on it - unless I have the wrong images in my head of your world, it just adds up. This might of course be considered an evil character due to that - any alignment thoughts we should know about?

[FatherDondo]

I am fully on board with a goblin, and I find the concept hilarious. Write it up, good sir!

I suppose lawful evil wouldn't be too disruptive

[Theore]

Oh man, consider it done. He's based on my WoW holy goblin priest, extorting people for healing, bloated insurance policies, selling "miracles", it's a blast.

Just to touch up on the alignment alittle, no matter how it's worded, he's evil in the sense that he doesn't mind taking advantage of people for money, and places wealth above just about anything. He's not like, recklessly evil or savage, he's just...a manipulative scrooge jerk lol.

I have 3 options here and I'd like to kind of touch on them.

Life Cleric: I can't help but think you would be having whatever holy deity there is completely abandoning him, and for good reason - he doesn't believe the faith he's peddling, just wants to reap the reward. In your world, would a Divine source tolerate such a person?

Divine Soul Sorcerer: I find myself leaning towards this most - no god or patron to piss off with his shenanigans lol

Celestial Warlock: You mention warlocks being particularly risky here. Do you think a warlock that appears, for all intents and purposes, like a life Cleric, would have an easy time blending in? Also, same question as option 1: are your patrons particularly vengeful and volatile in your world? Or can you imagine a Divine treaty made out of pure amusement or indifference by a source of power in your world?

Would the patrons and God's perhaps tolerate his treachery due to the fact his powers are aiding in the undead outbreak?

Just trying to weigh my options here lol

[Dembe]

Application Name: Kai Shi Race: Ghostwise Halfling Class: Monk Subclass: Way of the Long Death Background: Acolyte Writing Sample: "Please Kai, let's go! This place is giving me the creeps!" Kendall is standing at the door of the sick ward, arms crossed over her chest, hand covering her mouth in an attempt to ward off disease. She is clearly upset as she watches her friend "investigate" a prone figure in a nearby sick bed. "Just a few more minutes, Kendall. I do believe that the moment is at hand. How fortunate to be a witness...I'm very curious to see how the lungs react to expiration." Kai is bent over the dying stranger, counting the number of breaths per minute. She has no fear of contracting the illness, no fear of the specter of death. She respects death, the process of ending a life-force. She's confident that to extend life, one must understand the powers that extinguish it. A few moments pass, and the stranger lying on the table passes. Kai shows no remorse, no emotion. Her experiment over, she stands and walks towards Kendall. "Come, I'm hungry." Kendall shivers, looking side-long at Kai. "You know you creep me out." Kai smiles, and continues walking out the door.

[FatherDondo]

You've got some good springboard questions. Let's see here,

Originally Posted by Theore

Life Cleric: I can't help but think you would be having whatever holy deity there is completely abandoning him, and for good reason - he doesn't believe the faith he's peddling, just wants to reap the reward. In your world, would a Divine source tolerate such a person?

Concerning the Enochian pantheon, it's important to remember that these are the three captive gods, so their omnipotence is not quite so omni as it once was. Thanatos would be your best bet for a dedicated healer. He wants to ease pain, whether that's healing the living, easing the pain of dying, or lessening grief, and he would not tolerate a charlatan. However, if Doc Moribund decides to endorse predatory business practices, his hands are tied. Dondo offers healing, but for him it's no more than the means to an end. He's a hedonist, reveling in wine and the sport of hunting. He is made to enforce order, but does so in an authoritarian way. He'll happily hunt you down if you screw up, but so long as you're not breaking any rules, he doesn't care. Chernobog's the easiest for Moribund to control, as his job is what he'd be doing anyway. I'd say his unofficial mantra would be "so long as it hurts." Whether you want healing in a psychological, physical, or emotional sense, he'll help so long as there's no anesthetic, as it were.

Originally Posted by Theore

Divine Soul Sorcerer: I find myself leaning towards this most - no god or patron to piss off with his shenanigans lol

Sounds good. The Aether does not discriminate, and its gaseous state can act as a manifestation of mild magic. For example, there are aetheric storms. Being caught in one could result in anything from becoming a sorcerer to becoming a loaf of moldy bread.

Originally Posted by Theore

Celestial Warlock: You mention warlocks being particularly risky here. Do you think a warlock that appears, for all intents and purposes, like a life Cleric, would have an easy time blending in? Also, same question as option 1: are your patrons particularly vengeful and volatile in your world? Or can you imagine a Divine treaty made out of pure amusement or indifference by a source of power in your world?

That would definitely work. It's the sort of thing I could see a sufficiently cunning warlock doing to protect himself and hide his abilities. These gods can't act in direct opposition to the Church. I would say that although these three are captive gods, they're not necessarily willing captives.

Originally Posted by Theore

Would the patrons and God's perhaps tolerate his treachery due to the fact his powers are aiding in the undead outbreak?

In practice, that's a hard "no." The Guild and the Church are, effectively, two aspects of the same organization as Doc Moribund heads them both. Their biggest opposition tend to be those who would try to muscle in on their zombie-control racket business. If it got out that a parishioner was engaging in unsanctioned activity, and given that your character is a charlatan and thus probably unsanctioned, I imagine he would find himself in trouble very quickly. Then again... the party does start the game behind bars...

[Theore]

All excellent answers, thank you so much. I'll consider all of this.

I gotta tell ya, this Doc fella - he almost sounds like someone my goblin would WANT to be partners with! He's got a sweet gig going on there lol.

[Theore]

Side note, FatherDondo: You have been kind enough to give insight into the reasoning questioned races exists - like the elves and cancer immunity.

Why are goblins here?

[Lazer]

FatherDondo; can you tell me a bit about how the society of Potter's Field functions? Are there nobles or something similar? I have an idea for a cavalier who has extremely high ideals but just... doesn't quite manage to live up to them. My thought was that he would be from a disgraced house but managed to marry well, unfortunately his wife looks down on him and will leap on each and every mistake he makes.

[triedtherest]

[Name:] Cyrus Crow
[Race:] Variant Human
[Class:] Wizard
[Subclass:] Necromancer
[Background:] Noble
[Writing Sample:]
The Tale of Cyrus the Necromancer

Not much was known about Cyrus until he was 8 years old. His father, after a series of scandals, had been sent and married off to a provincial noblewoman, whose family lived far away from Potters Field.
A rampaging group of undead killed Cyrus' father, mother and his mother's family, but Cyrus' grandfather, Lord Crow, arrived in time to save Cyrus and take him back to Potters Field. The massacre was a tragedy, but the general consensus was that "What do you expect when people live too far away from the protection of The Guild?"
Cyrus was trained as both a gentleman and as a Wizard, in which he displayed a strong inclination towards the School of Necromancy (much to his grandfathers delight!)
Perhaps in a determined attempt to prove that he is nothing like his father, Cyrus engages only in activities that would help him climb the social ladder or give him the right connections, such as attend the lavish parties of the upper class, or joining one of Doc Moribunds famous hunts.
Cyrus would avoid a scandal at any cost.....


[Secret:]

 

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

6, 2, 6, 4 (keeping 4,6,6)

Total = 16

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

3, 3, 3, 3 (keeping 3,3,3)

Total = 9

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

2, 4, 3, 5 (keeping 3,4,5)

Total = 12

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

1, 6, 1, 6 (keeping 1,6,6)

Total = 13

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

4, 1, 6, 4 (keeping 4,4,6)

Total = 14

Dice Roll:

4d6kh3

4, 5, 3, 2 (keeping 3,4,5)

Total = 12

=76 (if my maths is correct)
Damage Die

Dice Roll:

1d6

6

[Theore]

A Story of Unlife: Academic Pursuit Character Application: Telrix the Fabulous! Name: Telrix the Fabulous! Race: Goblin Class: Proselytizer (Sorcerer) Subclass: Divine Soul Background: Evangelical Racketeer Extraordinaire (Custom) Sample Paragraph: The shoddy door to the offices slammed open, Telrix's confident and upbeat foot the battering ram to see the job through. "Ayyyyyyy! Gino, Gina - how's production comin' along, my friends?" he howled with arms flailing high in the air as he approached his right hand twins. "We got the fam pumpin' out thread at approximately 114% anticipated output, boss!" answered Gina in her shrill tone, with Gino piping up immediately behind. "Excavation and processing of simple metals is just about at the projected mark, but the gem harvest is a little bit behind - but don't sweat it boss, we've been hard at work synthesizing and manipulating cheaper materials for substitutions that in the long run should leave us with more of that cold hard cash in our pockets." An exceptionally pearly white grin erupted on Telrix's greedy face. "Love it. Love you," with a fist bump to Gino. "love you," and a high five to Gina. "and I love all my adoring friends and followers. You kids are goin' places! Keep up the great work. Oh, I have my meeting with the ghost writer today for my autobiography! See if we can move that to tomorrow, would ya? I've got a hot lead on a lucrative business opportunity that we just CAN'T afford to miss out on." "You got it, boss man! HEY SKAZ!" Gina immediately and with startling speed roared at the top of her lungs down the long wooden hallway behind her, only to have Skaz's bald goblin head pop out of the room not even two feet away, sporting an unamused stare from behind his tiny glasses. "I'm. Right. HERE. I could hear EVERYTHING. Do you guys always have to sh-" "BOSS MAN WANT TA MOVE THE INTERVIEW TO TOMORRAH! CHANGE UP YA SCHEDULE, MAKE IT WORK!" ... ..... ....... If Skaz had hair, it would surely be blown back in a chaotic windswept fashion. "...You two are the worst." A calmly closed door followed Skaz's irritated silence before the trio burst into cackling laughter. "Alright gang, huddle up. We are on target with the merchandise on all fronts. More and more of our kind are being drawn in to The Light, with curious members of other races popping up from time to time to hear the good word and get in on some of 'Telrix the Fabulous's' sweet, sweet healin' powers. Make sure those booths are packed to the brim with our FINE products. Bracelets, t-shirts, rings, and don't forget my pamphlets! Get those bad boys posted up wherever somethin' isn't already stuck - and where things are stuck? Cover that JUNK up with my beautiful mug!" Telrix laced his fingers together with a forward stretch, releasing a series of sickening cracks. "We are comin' up on the big times - I can feel it."

[FatherDondo]

@theore Goblins are chemotrophic, biological excavation machines. They can collect different minerals and metals inside their bodies, depending on the goblin and its diet on its downtime. Although it does help in situations where mining isn't cost effective, there were arguably better ways to deal with it at the time. Realistically, the researcher who came up with the goblins was doing it to see if he could make chemotrophic humanoids, then slapped in the mining applications in order to persuade his superiors to allow him to keep his funding. Goblins don't like to talk about that part.

@Lazer Potter's Field is a theocratic magocracy. The highest positions are filled by those who are both powerful and devoted. However, it is not uncommon for a powerful mage to have less powerful children who might find plum positions that they aren't the most qualified for, so long as they make up for it in other ways. Given the interconnectedness of church and state, there's no loss of face for a wizard high in the Guild to have family high in the Church, or in a different school. The most prestigious are necromancy and biomancy (black & white aspects of body magic), as well as necromantic divination. For your character, I would say that he's "talentless," a magical dud. One or both of your parents are powerful wizards, sorcerers, or clerics. As a cavalier in this situation, you'd likely be a low-ranking officer in the town guard with Father Dondo as your god.

Exceptional weakness or disloyalty are another matter. The locals' ritual goodbye is "don't be meat." Given the people's attitude toward dead bodies as raw materials, and since those who die inside the walls are Guild property without a standing writ stating otherwise, people who are "meat" are viewed as those who are worth no more than their component parts.

[Theore]

Am I to understand that my goblin can, depending on diet, defecate valuable metals?!

I'm so glad I'm here right now, that is too perfect for him.

[FatherDondo]

Fun Fact: One notable example of a person being considered meat is Drogo Diener, the ghoul wrangler. Drogo is the son of Draco Diener, a decorated war hero, a powerful cleric of Father Dondo, and a combat medic in the Wild Hunt (elite forces). Young Drogo was a well-respected biomancer and was fully expected to do great things. Unfortunately, a drug addiction led him into a spiral that ended with him becoming shunned. Out of respect to his father, this was meant to be "kinder" alternative to banishment. He works alone in a dishonorable position, and when anyone is forced to interact with him, say to rent or purchase a ghoul, they speak to the air around him, never looking at him, and drop money on the ground (if they choose to).

Edit: As to goblins, my original idea was more along the lines of metals collecting in their bones (you could be rich off your solid gold skeleton, but you kinda need those). I'm gonna go with the defecation just because it's easier mechanically, a little less edgy, and frankly funnier.

[Theore]

Cackling, Telrix unfastened his belt buckle, dropped his pants, and sh*t a solid gold turd on the ground.

"Keep the change, sport!"