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  #16  
Old 07-04-2019, 07:10 PM
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I haven't done feedback in the past. But perhaps that is because no one really asked. I'll gladly provide feedback but will make it public. If for some reason you'd rather not have my musing on your character public then let me know and I'll delete them. But public feedback might be beneficial to all. Also, I won't likely comment on writing style, grammar, or punctuation. Those things are generally more biased but I'm up to do it if you really want feedback on style. Also, one shouldn't be concerned about writing a character of the same or similar ability/skill set. It is very likely there will be characters whom may fill the same niche. For example, having more than one warrior in a deadly world makes a whole lot of sense. In a relative open character creation ruleset, there is a whole lot go variance that can happen.

 


 
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Last edited by GeneT; 07-06-2019 at 07:50 PM.
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Old 07-04-2019, 11:23 PM
Berith Berith is online now
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I am certainly open to feedback on Vosk, if you're of a mind.
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  #18  
Old 07-05-2019, 08:44 AM
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This is quite an interesting setting, and you are assembling quite a crew to boot! I am going to throw my hat in the ring.

ApplicationName: Yulamon
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"The Defiled"
Race: Human (Barbarian, clan Jezora)
Age: 27 (pretty sure I did the math right ... 16 at the fall of Haloban + 11 years to present)
Traits: Bushcraft

Archetype: Rogue - Ranger/Witch Hunter (Primarily a Marksman)
Corruption: I like the idea that he has been tainted and hates the corruption all the more for it1 Permanent (taking a Mystic Power from his backstory - likely Storm Arrows)

Description: There is little remarkable about Yulamon physically. He is an average human warrior. Average height, strong, and agile - especially in rough terrain. He wears the light armor of his kindred and bears scars on his arms of battle and pricker bushes alike. His dark, whispy hair is always tied back in some fashion to keep it from his eyes. In fact, picking him out from a group of his peers would be a challenge. But then there are his eyes. They are an emerald green and sharp as a freshly whetted blade. Gazing into them, it is clear that they notice more than he lets on. Yet that is not what sets them apart. Within his eyes dwells something more. Something a bit dark. But it is fleeting and hard to notice until it has been seen once. Even then, it is not always present. Those that have been in battle with Yulamon know what that darkness means and how it escapes in the most dire moments to wreak havoc upon the enemy. They also watch him closely for the day when the turn happens, for that day will be the one where they must battle that which helps them now.

Background:
 


Shadow: Yulamon's shadow appears as a deep, forest green. Within that green field dwells a dark spot. At first, it appears to just be a deeper shade of green, but upon closer inspection, the spot can be observed for what it truly is: a black blight. The edges of the spot pulse and strain against the surrounding green, but it does not grow. At least not yet.

RP Sample:
 

 
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GM: Sky Realm (FATE) | Magic Rising (FATE)
Playing: Cinch (SR) | Bazziox, Imperial Advisor (13th Age) | Cassia(13th Age)

Last edited by Roekahs; 07-08-2019 at 01:01 PM.
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  #19  
Old 07-06-2019, 10:29 AM
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Alric
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Name: Alric the Widower
Race: Ambrian Human
Character Archetype: Hunter (Avenging Physician)
Role Play Sample: Alric carefully measured out the drops one by one with steady hands in front of the old farmer's squinted stare.

He had arrived at the stead two days ago, noticing the indications of hoof and mouth pox in the cattle as he chanced past the sturdy fence of the farmstead. The farmer was patient as Alric pointed out the signs, and agreed with his assessment based upon his own years of experience. The farmer's words were spare but considered- a commonality of the people who worked the earth, Alric had found. In truth, Alric welcomed that taciturn quality, finding it refreshing and not a little familiar. They had spent most of the day dredging the livestock. One head had died already, and two more were already clearly sick; but with some luck and the medicine Alric was measuring out, the remaining head should heal with time.

"Ah. Done." Alric said quietly. He carefully collapsed and folded up his instruments, already knowing what would come next. The farmer shifted to one side in his seat, his eyes battering the ground on the opposite side as Alric rummaged through his knapsack- withdrawing a pipe, a pouch of tobacco and a piece of paper.

"I.. thank you, of course." the farmer began haltingly. "But I-"

Alric waved his hand to not bereft the man his dignity. "Your hospitality is compensation enough, and I thank you for it. I only ask for two things. One, a young hen. The road is long for a traveler." Alric said, gesturing with open palms.

"Aye." the farmer said in something approaching a smile, then thought better of it.

Alric waited, speaking carefully. "The second thing is this-" he said, slowly unfolding the paper and turning it to the farmer's view. "I warrant you have not seen a thing such as this. But I will be back through these parts, and soon. Tell you friends and neighbors. I am looking for sign or tell of this creature." the farmer's eyes widened and his mouth drooped in a cavernous 'o' at the drawing.

"It is an Abomination. A Blight Beast. I am hunting this one in particular." Alric said, tapping the paper definitively.

Description: Alric is a man in his thirties with red-brown hair and crystal blue eyes. His left arm, shoulder and the left side of his face is scarred by burns and he keeps that portion of his body hidden under cowl, cloak and mask. He bears a well-used longbow and often wears a worn cloak replete with a white-furred mantle to better hide the ornate, but functional bone armor he wears over his chest. He is inquisitive, brooding and a physician of moderate skill who works for a meal and a bed, a few ortegs or information.

Background: Alric was born the youngest of five children to a prosperous merchant family in the Northern Artisan's district of Yndaros. A sickly child, he spent much of his tender years in bed cultivating his intellect with books and learning the family business out of sheer boredom. As he grew, his illness left him and in its place was his desire to prove himself able to the family to rectify his past weakness. He found himself an able study at Alchemy and Medicus and realized the ingredients required of each of these disciplines could provide ample profit if one could secure consistent supply lines. After much deliberation, Alric was able to convince his family to fund his excursion to a small village just East of Thistle Hold.

So began the happiest few years of Alric's life. The thrill of exploration, industry and the freedom from the stinking city did much for his mood and personality. With effort, he was able to establish a small house and shop for himself, and begin trading for durable goods and foodstuffs to travelers and villagers alike as he searched out alchemical and medicinal ingredients for transport back to Yndaros. By the by, the villagers mentioned that there was another one so inclined, a young woman in a cottage on the other side of the village skilled in herbal remedies and poultices. So Alric sought her out, and indeed found a kindred spirit. Their talks of alchemical formulae and long walks in the countryside to look for herbs led to other pursuits and within a year they were married in a small ceremony held in a forest glade.

Drusilla was in truth, a Witch; a fact which did not concern Alric overmuch unless their lovers' quarrels precipitated in her levitating crockery. But they were happy, for a year and a half; until it came.

There was scant warning. A few missing sheep, a hunter spotting something at dusk moving into the trees. They were out foraging for mushrooms, and had little cause for concern. It was large, bearing aspects of stag, wolf, spider and serpent. It came for Drusilla foremost, but Alric stood in the way dashing it with a spade across one lambent, burning, hateful eye and spilling acidic blood all over himself. She fought with her art of course, but Drusilla and the Abomination were never seen again since that night. The villagers found him the next day, barely clinging to life.

The fever lasted for days and nearly took him. Whether it was the acidic blood, his wife's magics, or something else entirely Alric was affected with the Sight thereafter. He could barely manage to go on, but by degrees gave himself over into revenge. He healed and set his wounds as best his could, then set about honing his alchemical and medicinal skills. He practiced with a long bow he purchased from a passing sellsword until his hands chafed and bled. He fashioned himself an armor out of enchanted bones Drusilla had left, pouring through her books as well. In the end he passed his store and home to a distant relation to take over the business, but could not bear to part with her cottage. Too many memories. He outfitted himself for travel and set about tracking down any word of his wife or the monster that took her.


 

Last edited by Perdition; 07-09-2019 at 12:48 AM.
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  #20  
Old 07-06-2019, 11:22 AM
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Name: Mehira Argo
Race: Ambrian Human
Character Archetype: Mystic (Wizard)
Age: 23
Boons: Contacts (Ordo Magica), Privileged
Burdens: Epileptic

Description

The young woman is lanky and flat-chested, and her movements show a certain clumsiness. She is rather plain, but her face has an unmistakeable expression of intelligence. Her traits possess, if not beauty, a certain finesse and distinction, and the way she carries herself betrays an unimposing confidence.

Her appearance is muted in colour. Fair skin and dark brown curls of hair, eyes closer to grey than green, she wears a black dress of simple and comfortable cut, yet with a certain elegance. Bits of embroidery in dark turquoise and red prevent it from being downright austere. Similar, though more angular patterns of embroidery, often barely visible, are also to be found on her heavy hooded cloak, likewise black. The golden amulet on her chest, when not hidden beneath her dress, will be recognised as signifying a member of the Ordo Magica, and specifically the Agrella chapter, by those knowledgeable of such things.

The girl's hands are perhaps the most attractive part of her body, fine and long-fingered without being bony. A simple, but elegant bracelet in gold is sitting behind her right wrist, and she carries an elegant staff of ebony, carved with arcane symbols inlaid with gold.

When you come close enough, you may notice a subtle smell of lavender and herbs pertaining to her person, pleasant and refined, but not very feminine.

Personality

There is an air of mystery about Mehira - she seems quiet and thoughtful, and often dry and cerebral, but it is unmistakeable that she has a strong mind. She is stubborn, but rarely confrontational - rather than remain in open conflict and stand her ground, she will simply promise one thing and do another anyway, thinking that she knows better. And yet, even when caught, she has a way of being inoffensive in her natural, sometimes oblivious entitlement. Mehira is not one to show warmth, but in the right company, a sense of ironic humour and mischievous playfulness emerge.

While she does not wish ill on her fellow humans, Mehira is pragmatic and on occasion a bit self-centred. She is very capable of acts of altruism, but it is only ever for personal reasons - in the name of love and friendship. It is not ideals that motivate her, nor even a particular ambition, and dangerous as it is, she treats life as something of a game - a game of exploration and experience. She is to clever to be impulsively reckless, but she does on occasion have a curious disregard for her own safety that clashes with the circumspection of a wizard, rooted in an ill-explored source of a self-destructive urge.

Like many in the Ordo Magica, Mehira thinks of the world in mechanistic terms and considers the Church's moralistic view of everything to be all sorts of nonsense. But in her mind there is one thing to be said for the Church: their mission of cleansing Davokar and utilising what can be founds of the remnants of Symbaroum to help humanity is, if one wants to engage on such a mission, obviously the right thing to do, and not in practice misaligned with her own and the Ordo Magica's exploratory interests. She considers the elves and their insistence on some notion of an Iron Pact an atavistic nuisance, and those among her own kind who insist on leaving the forest in peace to be bores and cowards.

Short Biography

Mehira was born in the latter days of the war, the youngest child of Count Aramei Argo, after her elder brother Denamei and sister Elionara, and has no recollection of any time before the family settled into their new demesne in Kasandrien. The child was a source of worry for her family, from an early age beset by recurring seizures. Growing up besides a sister two years her senior, who was promising to be by far the greater beauty, the girl was undeniably bright, but appeared rather bookish and uninterested in social pursuits, at times even disagreeable. Yet even in such dire times, where skill in arms and industriousness in the home were prized, a certain amount of eccentricity among the nobility was tolerated among the nobility of Kasandrien, adolescent or otherwise.

It is still a sore spot for Mehira that it was Elionara who got to marry the young man she first fell in love with, though she can never quite decide who of the three to be cross with over it. At the time, when she was sixteen years of age, the event appeared like the end of the world and spurred her to take a different path in light entirely. It was then that she implored her parents to let her join the Ordo Magica, and reluctantly, they agreed. The order did, after all, have considerable prestige in the duchy where its headquarters were located, and perhaps the odd daughter might yet bring prestige to the family in this way - although it is an objective she herself cares little for.

Under the tutelage of the order's wizards, Mehira blossomed and thrived. Being, in her own manner, a citizen of two worlds, the nobility and the Ordo Magica, gave her confidence and a newfound inner and outer freedom. She was quick to make friends in the Ordo Magica; not only were women much rarer among the scholars than in other walks of life, but she also knew to sidestep the competitive aspects of the society in a mysteriously effortless way.

Mehira is fascinated by the mystery of the Empire of Symbaroum - what it was, and why it fell. But such curiosity would not on its own have induced her to risk her life in Davokar. It was a more urgent and personal purpose that drove the young wizard to Thistle Hold. Sidaro, a fellow member of the order and her dearest friend, acquired an addition to dream snuff when experimenting with its magic-enhancing properties.* His research has yielded hints that there may be plants in the forest that can produce a cure, and while Mehira is no alchemist herself, she is determined to do what she can to find a way to help her friend and halt the deterioration of his health mental and physical. That a cure for the addition would also be a boon to the goblin population of Ambria is merely a side effect that is of no great interest to her at the moment.

*The Adventure Pack 1 remarks that dream snuff works like Magic Concentrate for mystics, while otherwise being more like opium or heroin for goblins.

Relationships

Iergai is Mehira's first love and her sister Elionara's husband. He always liked his wife's cleverer sister as a friend, but having first met her as a somewhat underdeveloped girl of sixteen, never thought of her as more than that. He has always been indulgent, but kept her at arm's length. Seduced by her own newfound power, Mehira once used a spell to dominate his mind and force him to spend an evening with her as he otherwise never would - an event she would now prefer to forget. Iergai is too embarrassed to ever tell his wife, and cannot quite seem to decide for himself how to relate to the incident - at times, he holds a grudge, at others, he has a surprising amount of understanding for the girl. Mehira has not since spoken to him and avoids her sister's household. Now more secure in her position in the world, she is regretful over the affair, but does not know how to mend her relationship with the couple.

Mehira was always closer to her brother Denamei than to her sister. His father's heir, Denamei wishes to increase the family's possessions, influence, and reputation. He is protective and supportive of the little sister who took such a strange path in life, and is reflective enough to be fully aware himself that he does not know just how strange indeed it is. In turn, Mehira has an instinct, perhaps misplaced, to shield him from all the darkness she knows of, which has caused them to drift apart over the years as she descended - or ascended - further and further into mysticism.

Mehira's mentor as a novice in the Ordo Magica was the renowned mentalist Demeon Thistlebrush, a man of extraordinary intelligence and wit, but known among his peers to be a difficult character - hence his epithetic surname. The two had a curious relationship difficult to comprehend for outsiders, and veering into, but never quite reaching, the inappropriate. There is a mutual understanding and respect between the two that is quite improbably between people of such different age.

A youth named Sidaro was Mehira's first study partner in the order and they quickly became friends. It took them a year before they tried out being more than friends, and another year to find out it wasn't working - and since then, they have been secure in each other's platonic affection. They can spend hours in conversation about magic, history, the human condition, and all aspects of life in general. Sidaro is sensitive, insightful, and intelligent, with a great talent for keen observation. However, he has been struggling to live up to expectations, finding himself lacking in energy and discipline, and trying to find ways to augment his magical power, he got himself into the unpleasant situation of being addicted to the goblin drug dream snuff. Since then, he has taken more to scholastic pursuits, first and foremost alchemy. He is the only other person who knows of the unfortunate incident between Mehira and her sister's husband.

RP Sample

It was a grey day and there was a light drizzle. Mehira had her cloak pulled tightly around her figure and the roomy hood drawn over her head, paying little mind to the poor wretches who had business in the streets today. She stopped her steps and looked up only for a moment, feeling a refreshing the spray of water in her face. The tower in front of her was imposing more by contrast than in virtue of its own size, but the wet stone appeared almost black today and gave it a particular grimness.

One could not expect the streets to be cobbled in such a place, and the ground was slowly turning into mud beneath her feet. Mehira didn't tarry and went up to the heavy wooden gates. A cord hung next to them, and pulling it she elicited the muted sound of a bell behind the walls. The discomfort of the outsides and the moisture creeping through her clothes perhaps helped to dull any apprehension she might have had about approaching the Thistle Hold chapter of the order, not that there was much of it to begin with. Mehira was not interested in their ambitions or apprehensions - she expected, indeed took for granted, nothing more and nothing less from her fellow wizards than simple hospitality.

There was the sound of a door behind the gates and scrambling steps, and a spyhole in the gates was opened. After a moment's fumbling, she managed to pull out the medallion that was hanging on her her chest and held it up to the viewer. It took no exchange of words for the small aperture to close again and a larger door which was part of the gate, but not the gate itself, to begin opening. The girl slipped past the novice who manned the gates, a stout young man with curly auburn hair and eyes slightly too small for his round face. "Thank you."

"Hello, hello", he welcomed her. "Aah, where are you from again? Didn't rightly see." He had a rustic accent that Mehira couldn't quite place, indeed there had been so much movement and recent settling in Ambria that the notion of local accents did not make much sense yet, even if the people from the different regions of their ancestral homeland in the south did have a tendency to stick together, and so it was more social stature than origin that was betrayed by the patterns of one's speech - and even that, unreliably. But the order cared only for the acumen of the mind and nothing else, and new novices were admitted on the basis of a test of the mental faculties alone, with no regard for breeding or wealth. For the most part, anyway - Mehira knew well enough that it couldn't possibly be quite like it was made out to be. But those were games for others to play.

"Agrella", she informed the lad while pulling back her hood.

"Huh!" said the young man, half surprised and half dismissive. The characters who were drawn to such a place as Thistle Hold were usually rather different from those who lived in the magical, if not political, capital of Ambria, and they tended to have an exaggerated vision of the joys of Agrellan life.

Mehira pretended not to have noticed and busied herself with taking off her cloak, then gave him a friendly, if subtle, smile when their gaze briefly crossed. "Well, come in, then." The young man seemed to have recovered his manners. "This way, we've got warm fires going." He led her through a short corridor into a room panelled in dark wood, illuminated by a handful of candles in addition to a large, glowing fireplace, furnished with bookstands and armchairs. There were windows on one side which revealed through strands of water running across them that the drizzle had meanwhile turned into a downpour. A bespectacled, dark-haired you man was sitting, an open book on his lap. "This is our common room, Roserio here's the prefect, he'll show you everything."

Mehira finally realised the misunderstanding and gave the novice on porter duty a quizzical smile. She turned, expectantly, to the fellow in the armchair who adjusted his spectacles and looked up. As he laid eyes on Mehira, fright took hold of him and he scrambled to close the book and move it onto a side table. "Dear me, she's not a novice!" he cried out. He rose and turned to Mehira, now speaking politely and more measuredly. "You really must forgive us. He's not very experienced in these things."

"I have a letter for Master Eufyrd", announced Mehira, graciously brushing aside the whole topic as if she hadn't noticed anything untoward. She folded her cloak over one arm and produced a folded piece of paper. She remembered with amusement the hour she had, a few weeks ago, acquired this recommendation from her teacher, Master Demeon. 'Aaah, my Obsession', he had greeted her in his bizarre manner as she had entered his study. He had impressed on her the importance of handing it to Master Eufyrd, and not, as might have been more customary, to the chapter's official head, Master Cornelio.

"Master Eufyrd? Very well, please come." With only a gesture he indicated his willingness to carry Mehira's cloak, which she did not hesitate to avail herself of with a simple word of thanks.

***

Mehira let herself fall onto the bed with a certain gusto. It was the first time in a while she would get to rest in proper accommodations, and she couldn't deny that she was not at all used to camping yet. The chamber she had been given was not large, but equipped with everything necessary - chief among the things a bed, a writing desk, and a chair. It had no heating on its own, but profited from the fact that the chimney of a fireplace below was situated in one of its walls, where the stone was now warm to the touch.

Lying on the bed with her feet still on the carpet, Mehira stretched out her naked arms behind her head, touching the wall below the window, and felt the pain in her back and pelvis. It was just a bit of bodily pain, a mild soreness - nothing in comparison to what she had experienced with some regularity for her whole life. It would not deter her from this undertaking anymore than the seizures would. To think that only two weeks ago she had been at home in Agrella - there was something unreal about now finding herself at the very edge of civilisation. While she was confronted with the edges of human experience in notional form all the time, a part of her couldn't quite grasp the reality of it - and she preferred to keep it that way. All the better if it all continued to feel like a dream...

She barely managed to wrap her form in the warming blankets before sleep eagerly took her.

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Last edited by Mairien; 07-07-2019 at 11:55 AM.
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  #21  
Old 07-06-2019, 02:47 PM
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@all : I added a App table in the first post. I arranged apps in some degree of similarity with regard to Archtype, although this may be a little arbitrary. And, if there wasn't enough info yet in your placeholder, I didn't include you in the list yet. I at least need a name, race, archtype.

Also, as Mairien posted in his/her app, you can use items from any Symbaroum source but I may not have read everything as the system is also new to me. So it is helpful for me if you include a snippet of the idea/source as was done with Magic Concentrate. You don't have to do that for the app, but you'll likely have to do it for the character sheet.

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Last edited by GeneT; 07-06-2019 at 02:58 PM.
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Old 07-06-2019, 03:26 PM
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I updated Vrak with the following:
Burden: Pariah (As per Advanced Players Guide)

Boon: Cat Burglar

I can't seem to figure out how starting equipment works. Vrak will use Twin attack so he gets a single handed weapon and a short weapon. But I don't see where it states starting equipment or armor. Do we just use the starting money and equip from there?

Also how do you want character sheets to be done? I'm not assuming I will be picked but it is an exercise in learning the system.

Thanks!
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Old 07-06-2019, 03:32 PM
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The discussion of starting equipment is stupidly hidden on page 78 and following of the Core Rulebook.

Last edited by Mairien; 07-06-2019 at 03:33 PM.
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Old 07-06-2019, 03:37 PM
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HA! Thank you Mairien!! I've been looking all day!
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:13 PM
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Cheers for the feedback, appreciate it. I have updated my RP sample section and now consider my character complete.
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Old 07-06-2019, 07:35 PM
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There have been some 'complaints' I've read here and there regarding equipment, but I think most will be able to afford what they need. Although, equipment from the start can easily be addressed if any feel that they are short changed by the rules. Having a sword or two isn't going to break the day.

Your free to make character sheets if you'd like, I just didn't require them. I think it is somewhat of a pain to work one's way through a character sheet to then not make the party. Especially for a new system. I figured any interested would have enough to read just to get an idea of the setting and a character idea. Although, I'm sure most of you have page flipped back and forth figuring out the nitty gritty anyway. The link I posted to Iron Pact Resources, here, has some character sheets which may be of use. I'll have a character sheet spoiler button example later, but its probably something you've all done a time or two anyway, and selected characters will have personal character threads.

@Berith. I'll get to Vosk soon. I haven't forgot.
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Old 07-06-2019, 08:16 PM
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And Vosk.

 
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Last edited by GeneT; 07-06-2019 at 08:17 PM.
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Old 07-07-2019, 06:00 AM
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Quick question: In the first post it says three abilities at novice, one at adept - but in my copy of the book it says two and one or five at novice. I see that some people have already done three / one, so maybe I have the typo?

Just checking because other than that I have a sheet ready.
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  #29  
Old 07-07-2019, 11:16 AM
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Ah yes, I made a mistake. Generally, this is boon for players.

In this case, I must have been thinking 3 total then typed out the specifics with 3 stuck in my head. So, to remedy I will have to make a small adjustment. Abilities at start can either be (3 Novice 1 Adept) or 6 at Novice.

It's like getting 10 pnts of experience for the app itself.
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Old 07-07-2019, 11:57 AM
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Alright, application's complete as far as I'm concerned. I was kind of assuming we're aiming for Davokar, but if not, I'm happy to alter some things and give her a motivation to be in Yndaros.
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