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  #16  
Old Apr 5th, 2024, 01:30 AM
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Book Eaters ... nobody is saying you aren't cool.

But there is something in the goblin world known as the "One Left" tattoo. There all sizes, designs, and sorts of variations of it--some are classic and have been inked for generations, some are trendy, and some (particularly the one that was all the rage a few years ago with buttercups and stink bugs, but which ended up looking like a sunflower with an STD) are probably regrets to their wearers.

And these tats, one design excepted, are nearly gob-universally regarded as ultimate cool.

It's not just the design, it's the fact that the only goblins who wear them are ones who have lost all but one of their lives.

"Shed fast" is their motto. "Live as if there is no countdown."

But here's a counterpoint ... most of those goblins lost their lives falling into soup bowls, struck by lightning, or biting red-tongue snakes. There are hardly any "4" gobs who left their life in Frog & Toad Swamp ... and BlisterBark is all about letting you know how cool that is.

"I mean, like that soul is eternally being digested in frog acid!" he says, shaking his head in reverence and disbelief. "Fall-foliage frog acid," he adds, seeing if you approve of his badass swear word.

In fact, the event has so inspired him ... that he resumes skipping along from joy, oblivious to how fall-foliage it makes him look.

And so you continue, skips and all, until you come to mountain foothills, and the promise of a long, difficult climb.

Or is it?

Off to the left of the road is a small hut with a patchwork quilt of material that seems to capture and contain the very air! At the base of this quilt is a basketry of reeds and wood, and a bearded goblin standing and looking at you.

Off to the right of the road is a larger structure with a strange metallic wagon and slender metallic lines running from it and up toward the mountaintop. By the structure is another bearded goblin, who looks very similar to the one across the road.

Do you proceed onward or stop to talk to one of the goblins?

Before you can decide, some type of force seems to take hold of Blisterbark mid-skip and throws him onto the ground. He squirms and screams and pleads with you, "Help me get it out of my head! It's saying: This announcement post was sent out to the entire realm in 2024 to ask for nominations for the esteemed hall of honor and fame. Find this post and identify the correct due date for nominations!"

OOC
After you assist Prince Pimplepop, a choice must be made!

If you proceed onward and upward, this means you will mount Mt. T-Rex (without oxygen!) Please give me a combined Goblin Abs/Goblin Smarts roll for each goblin. Failure means you lose a life to a rockslide, a fatal fall into a chasm, an encounter with a rogue yak ... your choice, but the result is the same...you leave a soul along the path to the summit.

After the rolls, you will arrive at the summit.

If you remain below this turn in order to talk to a goblin, then you can only talk to one goblin each turn. If you choose to talk to one of the goblins, please designate which goblin you choose to talk with and give me your greeting lines and a Goblin Farts roll from each goblin.

Conditions: 1) Banished from the Centaur Kingdom (you cannot pass through the Centaur lands 2) Welcomed by Orc theater troupe
Team Post Count: 5/10 remain
Next Game Post: 1:30 a.m. EST, April 6 (Posting this way in case you want to take off Saturday and/or Sunday--let me know what your preference is; we are halfway through the scheduled time, and halfway to the 10-post mark, so we're doing well)

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Last edited by bananabadger; Apr 5th, 2024 at 01:30 AM.
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  #17  
Old Apr 6th, 2024, 12:27 AM
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Finally, after walking, walking, hopping, (some skipping), and walking some more they had arrived. Somewhere near the peak of this hulking mountain was an egg waiting to become theirs. The Book Eaters are already legends in their own regard (and the Prince's too), but pulling this off? That's how a goblin can live forever!

Bug Guts stomach growled. This caper called for something substantial. He pulled a copy of Beyond Good and Evil: Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future by Friedrich Nietzsche from his pack and tore out a mouthful with teeth filed to points. As he chewed, he noticed the old goblins.

Olds are sort of a rarity in the goblin community, you know, but it does happen from time to time. The problem with elder gobs is that they think they know everything, but pretty much the only way for a gob to go grey is by, well, not doing anything and we all know experience is king. He waved to the matched pair and scanned the contraptions behind them. A guide up the mountain could be helpful.

"Heya, Beardo! How're the dinos bitin' today? We're on a Quest direct from our Queen herself." He turned so the sun would glare off his black shades and slyly flexed his chest and arms as if he were stretching. Bug Guts tried to offer up a robust toot as is the traditional greeting but could only muster an eggy burp. "What if we rode a T Rex home, Blisterbark? We'd be bigger than Maglubiyet!"

A matched pair, thought Mim. Kinda stylish, really. Old smell notwithstanding. She strolls over to the gondola guy and scans him for tats. As a recent member of the "Four Left" society, she's got a morbid, thick fascination with the "One Left" crew.

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"Four left here," she says casually, pressing a goatsnot Tic-Tac onto her tongue and offering one to the old guy. It's not a big deal she just died. For the first time. In a toad stomach. Doing queen's business. She's not worried about it. "You, uh, aahh, rmm-" she raises an eyebrow "-you got less?" Whether or not the goblin has a cool tattoo or not, Mim quirks her lips and compliments something about him. His sodden knee wrinkles. His rugged ear flaps. Or something. Then, giving him time to whir and blush and humbly object, she drops a joke:

"Hey grandfather, ahhh, hmm, rrrrph, what did the hot air balloon say to the gondola?"

When she's got his attention back, she lets a whishy, sparkly fart slip out, directed enough to be recognized as a punchline, but modest enough not to scare the old geezer. Just in case he missed out on the subtleties of her meaning, she clarifies that they want to ride his gondola toward the mountaintop. "So hmm, ahhh... gondoling my way?" she says, translating into old man humor, lifting up her shades to drop him a wink.

Shaz Frat isn't a great talker. She kinda shows her jacket to Gondola Gob and hopes he likes it. She pulls Beetleburp aside and says, "Chill Frosh, you have until April 15, see? Look here! "

OOCShaz Frat and Bug Guts failed the roll, and Mim passed. They want to charm the gondola guy.
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Last edited by lostcheerio; Apr 6th, 2024 at 01:01 AM.
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  #18  
Old Apr 6th, 2024, 09:26 PM
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"Oh, thanks," Pimplepop says with an audible sigh of relief.

And he's feeling well enough to move a bit away from the group and inspect the goblin's move-up-the-mountain contraption.

The goblin doesn't seem to recognize Pimplepop as royalty, and so gives him a slightly distrustful look.

"He's not going to try to start it up, is he?" he asks Bug Guts, and then turns to stare at him a disbelieving look when Bug Guts mentions riding the T-Rex.
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"Look, I think we're done here. My gobdola as you call it is closed for technical inspection today. You can either walk up the mountain or see if my brother Jerry will take you up in his death-trap," he says dismissively, putting himself between Pimplepop and the machine.

And that's when he finally has time to register what Mim had been saying.

"Gobdoling my way, very funny!" he laughs, with spit flying every which way.

"You're into tattoos, are you?" he adds, rolling up his sleeve and showing off a saggy flesh of gob skin littered with tattoos of all sorts. There's an elf queen and a centaur king doing ... goodness knows what up in the clouds, but it's hard to make out with the skin adding in new dimensions of flaps and folds. But the numbers are clearer, somewhat. There are definitely some fours that are crossed out, several more threes and twos with lines through them, and a few numbers that could be ones or might be sevens ... again, the flapping of the skin makes it hard to tell.

"Ohhhh ... I got all sorts of numbers. Lived an interesting life. Lost a few, then gained a few. Ghost kittens, card games, fey-pacts ... yep. I've seen some things," he says, staring off into the distance before turning back to your group and kicking a rock in front of him. "But I'm not going to see you up the mountain. Technical inspection! "

And with that, he goes into his wicker-woven house and slams his door.
right-aligned image

On the other side of the trail, another goblin watches all of this and snickers.

"Technical inspection, ha!" he snorts. "That thing never had an inspection becuse ol' Barry there knows it would never pass an inspection. The only thing his scrap of junk is fit for is a bleeding-heart firbolg with a death wish! Now, gobbos, what do you say to a ride in my balloon?"

But before you can answer, all your conversation is drowned out by a painful scream.

"Arrgh! "Pimplepop screams. "It's back! It's saying: These bookworms discussed a demon copperhead snake for a month! Find the original post of this discussion!"
OOC
Up you go! (One way or another ... or maybe not)

You have several move options that I see.

You could walk around the mountains and move to any of the surrounding hexes.

You could attempt the balloon. To do that, you need just one goblin to succeed on a Farts roll (but be sure to roll for all three goblins). Then give me a 1d8 roll.

If nobody succeeds at a Farts roll or if you want to skip the balloon, but go up the mountain, then have every goblin give me a Goblin Abs/Goblin Smarts roll for each goblin. Failure means you lose a life to a rockslide, a fatal fall into a chasm, an encounter with a rogue yak ... your choice, but the result is the same...you leave a soul along the path to the summit of Mt. T-Rex.


Conditions: 1) Banished from the Centaur Kingdom (you cannot pass through the Centaur lands 2) Welcomed by Orc theater troupe 3) No ticket to ride (the funicular)
Team Post Count: 4/10 remain
Next Game Post: 9:30 p.m. EST, April 7
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Last edited by bananabadger; Apr 6th, 2024 at 09:26 PM.
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  #19  
Old Apr 7th, 2024, 07:13 PM
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Mim smiles with the top half of her mouth, already moving on. It's weird how he thinks she's still interested in seeing his tattoos and hearing him warble on about numbers when he's not going to give her what she wants.

TBH getting the "one left" tattoo and then making some kind of creepy pact to go back to two is phony. Kick rocks, Barry. Sad as it is that she wasted such a masterpiece fart on such a mid goblin, Mim is a never-ending fountain of farts, each one sparkling with grace and humor, so when they approach Jerry for a balloon ride, she lets a descending chromatic escape, in an oboe flavor.

"Peh, inspections day," Bug Guts scoffs, "what an absolute kobold thing to say!" Since when do goblins let tiny details like safety stop them from doing anything? I guess if you care about stacking up lives to collect tattoos. Not very crungly.

Now Jerry was enthusiastic about his rickety basket and patchwork skybag that honestly looked like a direct ticket to "One Left". The thing looked like it'd never suffered such big yikes as a technical inspection. Obviously Bug Guts wanted to try it. He wasted no time climbing into the basket and let slip a poot that was unfortunately silent and of the less than deadly variety.

Shaz Frat is not a talker. She shows Baloogob her jacket as she gets in, pushing Borklebrup ahead of her. Frosh. What you are talking about is "reading" a "book." Chill. Those are for eats. But you can see the other thing, if you want. It's right here.


rollsOnly Mim passes
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Last edited by Fillyjonk; Apr 7th, 2024 at 07:17 PM.
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  #20  
Old Apr 8th, 2024, 04:30 PM
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The Prince calms down immediately when he's told about the book club.

"But why doesn't Kingsolver do the detective books?" he asks, shaking his head. "That would taste right, wouldn't it?"

He continues to be perplexed as he crawls into the hot air balloon basket, all the way up until the time when he realizes what type of question he has about the other author's name, and then he just snorts and grins as he waits.

But he doesn't have to wait long! Jerry is literally fired up and ready to go with his balloon and takes off as soon as the Book Eaters are ready.

Sure, he's a grumpy old sort, but his mood lightens the higher the balloon climbs. Soon, he's talking about old voyages that he took along with his brother, and sometimes with Gpoe the great goblin traveler.

"Once, Gpoe, Barry and I landed in this land where these creatures were part leopard, part gazelle, and all neck! You wouldn't believe it if you saw them! And they had these goblin heads that grew out of their chests, but spoke only in elf language. Can you believe that?"

As he starts another one of his tales, Prince Pimplepop seems to have switched from laughing about Charles Dick-ins and begins to scream as he cowers at the floor of the basket.

Jerry stops his story and looks down at the Prince with a concerned expression as he asks: "Voices?"

"Yeah!" Prince Pimplepop whines. "And they are asking: This February post of the month nomination was put forward by a site member with an ungainly username for a game focused on Appalachian Gods and funerals. What does that mean?"

"Hmmm, I don't remember the answer to that question, though I do remember the question," Jerry responds. "Barry and I used to get those real bad. Let's see ... did you get these questions: There is one continuous recruitment game where players strive for solo attempts at glory. Find the most recent post within their designated spot for idle chatter, empty bragging, lame jokes (and introductions) or This open roleplaying game consists of two types of people: 1. The Mastermind: Is the person who has a secret word for everyone else to guess and 2. The Players: Everyone trying to guess the secret word. Find the first post explaining the rules of this game!?"

"No ..." Pimplepop answers. "But ... but now I hear those questions, too!" he adds, rolling himself into a ball and covering his ears.

"Hmmm," is all Jerry can think to say.

Besides, Jerry has just realized he has neglected his captain duties and the balloon has gone a tad bit--a whole hex bit--off course.

"Oh, no! It's those darned pteranodarndons!" he shouts, waving his fist at a group of clouds.

Or ... are they clouds?


right-aligned image

As you look over the balloon's basket you see a lone mountain standing in the center of a barren plain.

The mountain reaches up to the sky, higher than your flght path, where clouds circle its summit in a lazy dance. On closer inspection, it almost seems like the clouds are in the shape of some great dino-bird ... and soon you realize they are--not just in the shape of, but actually are great dino-birds.

A few of them dive bomb the balloon as Jerry yells at them: "Darn wispy wrens! Leave me be!"

Hearing his voice, a few of the cloud pteranodons playfully swoop over you. There are gobbo-kiddo nursery rhymes about these birds ... and the goblins who dared to mount and fly them.

OOC
Your choices triggered 3 questions for today. Good luck with them!

You now have other choices to make!

If you remain in the balloon basket, Jerry will be able to land you at C-1 and you can proceed on foot.

If you want to try to leap out of the basket and onto the back of a cloud-pteranodon, you can attempt that with a Goblin Sneaks roll.

Bug Guts, who has pole-vaulting, automatically succeeds and gives Mim and Shaz Frat advantage on their rolls.

If a goblin fails the roll, they plummet to the ground and lose a life. The goblin can try again and again until they succeed or run out of lives. If a goblin fails and decides not to continue rolling, then all goblins must get off their pteranodons (no roll required) and join the other goblin on the land of C-1.

If a goblin successfully lands on a cloud-pteranodon, then this bird becomes their ally and mount. Cloud-Pteranodons move up to two hexes with each turn, skipping over any encounters or ignoring any imposed banishments on the first hex they cross. Pteranondons can be used to fly to the summit of Mt. T-Rex without any required rolls, should the party choose to go that direction.

Good luck with whichever rolls you attempt! Please let me know where you are headed, whether by foot or by bird.

Conditions: 1) Banished from the Centaur Kingdom (you cannot pass through the Centaur lands 2) Welcomed by Orc theater troupe 3) No ticket to ride (the funicular)
Team Post Count: 3/10 remain
Next Game Post: 4:40 p.m. EST, April 9

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Last edited by bananabadger; Apr 8th, 2024 at 09:13 PM.
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  #21  
Old Apr 9th, 2024, 10:46 AM
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As soon as Bug Guts looked over the side of the sky basket and saw those fluffy winged lizard cloud bird things swooping in close, he knew what he had to do. Just imagine everygob's face when the Book Eaters come screaming out of the sky on these beautiful beasts! He'll probably be named a baron or something. Besides, they're floating away from T Rex Mountain right now.

So, without a thought for personal safety (as is goblin custom, Barry) he grabs the stick Jerry uses to push off from cliffs and such to launch himself out of the basket and onto the back of a cloud pteranadon cackling like a lunatic. Bug Guts hits his mark between the wings and wraps his arms around the beast's neck saying, "We're gonna be friends now, Lauren Ipsun." He leaned hard to the left and then the right to get a feel for the flight controls before letting out a Whoop! as Shaz and Mim joined him in the sky and together, they turned the creatures' beaks back toward the peaks of Mt. T Rex and the quest.

If Mim is ever plagued by fits of questions, like Blisterbark and Jerry, she hopes it doesn't provoke basket-cowering and an affinity for quaint patchwork. She feels mild sympathy for their troubles. The last time she had a burning question, she took a lozenge, and the feeling went away. Opening a tin, she offers him a burgundy crystal dusted in sugar. "Care for a Zotz?" she asks.

When it's time to leap onto the Pteranadon, she copies Bug Guts' moves down to the last swing and flip, humming that old gobbo-kiddo rhyme she knows. Ah, it does bring back memories of her dad "flying" her through the air on his arms and tossing her around.

Pteranadon fly in the pteranadon sky
Swoop til you puke but this baby don't cry
Carry her off to the mountain so high
Barf in my armpit and you're gonna die

"Never say diiiiiiie!" she shrieks as she leaps!
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All the book eaters are Goochi on the Dex Checks, but only Bug Guts can Flex Pecs midair on a soar to grab a 'Rex. Shaz Frat pokes the frosh. "That's goals, Busterbump. For today, let's settle for “Unborkened necks”

She lets the Frosh python onto her backpack and leaps across after BG.

Dino ride. Coolio. Hers seems to be named Jennifer. She likes to watch the patterns in Jennifer’s fleecy cloud fluff as they go. She sees her mom, a fish, a bug, a stool. The three legged kind, not a poo. She turns Jennifer eggward even though time is short.

Book eaters never say die. They do DIE, of course. Five times, like all gobs. But they do not say it.

What they do say is this, "Why would an Ungainly God throw an apple atcha? Isn't that it over there, to the southeast?" They yell thanks back up to Jerry and offer these answers to soothe his cursed voices, "I've heard of aa bizarre bazaar where gobs can go seek glory, you can see it from here! If you're open to a Master/Player dynamic you can find that sort of thing to the northwest, look!" Is that a T Rex nest we see?
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Last edited by AnotherDragoon; Apr 9th, 2024 at 10:50 AM.
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  #22  
Old Apr 9th, 2024, 07:41 PM
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As if seeking to prove that they are not mere brutish mounts, the pteranodons fly in lazy, circular paths that also make frequent rises and falls. But even with these graceful circumventions, they still move quickly through the air, each of them bringing a goblin to a soft, safe landing at the top of the mountain.

It is beautiful. The view allows you to see much of the surrounding landscape, but not too far as other mountain tops--though not quite as tall as the one you are on--obscure some of the view.

It is warmer than you might expect.

A breeze blows scents of mountain flowers and old goblin.

Only now do you realize that Barry has apparently canceled his technical inspection and decided to drive his contraption up the mountain himself.

He smiles, waves and shouts over to you.

"It's the dwarves, I think. You're probably wondering what that unpleasant smell is, right? Dwarves. They're digging in the mountain and releasing all sorts of heat and carbon and fumes that's warming up our land. Can't just let things be, can they? And then those gnomes ... don't get me started on them! Trying to bring back the seasons and the natural order with a bunch of mumbo-jumbo hand-holding stuff that only makes things worse!"

He's quite agitated, and tries to calm himself down.

"Sorry. Sorry. Used to be when the Old Wise Goblin sat up here, I could come talk to her and she'd set me straight. But she's been gone for many years and now it's just me and my brother, and--by all the mud that's holy--my brother sure has messed up in his mind what the Old Wise Goblin taught us. Phooey!"

He pauses and looks around. It is peaceful, almost silent. In fact, the loudest sounds are of cloud pteranodons grooming their fluffy feathers and of a young goblin writing a message in the ground with a stick.

"It doesn't seem to hurt as much if I write it down," he says, looking up at any goblin who comes over to see what he is doing. But even if he isn't screaming, his writing is frenetic.
Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation! Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!Find the post from the big man himself… and in it you’ll find the amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive! List this post, the exact amount raised, and the total amount raised over the past 12 years for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation!

Barry walks over to the Prince, looks down and frowns with something akin to pity.

"One of those is he, a quest giver?" the old goblin asks before trying to distract Prince Pimplepop by picking up a stick and adding in the mud-ground equivalent of marginalia, saucy drawings of centaurs and a swamp monster at the edges of Pimplepop's desperate scribbles.

"But it sure is peaceful up here, isn't it, Prince? Now, did you bring these goblins up here to collect mountain flowers, go birding, gather toad-stool specimens ... or, wait how didn't I see it earlier? Are you here to get formally married with a romantic view? I'm certified you know! Sent off to that ad back in the Mossy Stone Magazine and got my Goblin-Cleric certification, Dominion of Matrimony! So what will it be?"

Looking around, you see it is, indeed, beautiful. And Barry, indeed, seems eager to perform a ceremony. But ... there doesn't seem to be any T-Rex dino nest, nor is there a nest from which to steal a golden egg.

OOC
What's up with this?!

If you want to spend a turn looking for a dino nest, then give me a Dino Smarts from every goblin and a Dino Sneaks from your best sneaker (I'm not saying there is a nest up here, just that rolls would be necessary IF there was one).

You can also ride your pteranodons to move two squares (and get a rough idea of what the square you travel over contains).

Or you can give up the goblin quest and spend the rest of the game in matrimonial bliss between your characters, between one of your characters and Barry, or some other combination of the sorts. Barry's not too particular about for whom and how he performs the marriage ceremony.

Your move, gobs!


Conditions: 1) Banished from the Centaur Kingdom (you cannot pass through the Centaur lands 2) Welcomed by Orc theater troupe 3) No ticket to ride (the funicular) 4) Riders of the Cloud Pteranodons (can skip over one space and move to second space in one turn)
Team Post Count: 2/10 remain
Next Game Post: 8:00 p.m. EST, April 10
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Old Apr 10th, 2024, 04:33 PM
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Back at B2The Book Eaters do want to look for a dino nest. They want to find a dino nest real bad. The queen commanded it, with her boot making pea gravel of their cervical vertebrae.

Mim spends the safe descent and the lazy spirals looking at the mountain to see where the nest is. Is it over here? or over there? She can't take her sunglasses off, so... it could be by this rock thing or that rock thing. Probably. But... why the rigid kneeskulls is Barry freaking up here? The old toenail who rejected one of Mim's most original farts has now decided to screech up the mountain without them anyway? In his cranky old bucket on wires? Pah. Pshaw. Pshhhooowaawww. She has no words for Barry. Only a pointed "Ummm.... umm???" and then a suspicious "Hoohhhh, yeeeeeshhh" and a gentle, moralizing "boooo" out the side of her mouth. Fortunately he only wants to talk to the prince.

Bug Guts nearly forgot about the quest, lost as he was in the thrill of flying with the magnificent Lauren Ipsun. It was just like the old stories, a gaggle of goblin besties and their cloud pteranodons with limitless adventure spread out beneath them. Maybe they'll never go back. But, the system isn't going to dismantle itself.

Lauren effortlessly swooped down with natural grace and alighted on the T Rex mountain. Instead of cold-blooded carnivorous dinos, they found Barry and his metal contraption. "Inspections, huh?" Bug guts looked at Blisterbark and shook his head. "Dwarves and Gnomes? Gno thanks, buddy. Were here for an egg to present before the Queen. Now where would a giant terror lizard be hiding?" He knows from newts, salamanders, and skinks that lizards love rocks. Well, a mountain is all rock, so he went poking around for caves or crevasses that could accommodate such a large expecting mother.

left-aligned image
The prince scritches and scrapes at the dirt and Bug Guts gently tells him: $2361 raised for #12, over $22k all time.

Shaz is really really really digging the freedom. No queen. No laws. Just her and her best mates and Jennifer in the sky. Oh, and this Frosh.

She’s smart as hell and looks everywhere an egg could be. If there’s an egg there, she’s damn well going to find it. She’s also pretty sly and quiet and leads the others into the softest quietest route just in case big mama is around. If they get the egg, Is she reeeeeeeally going to take it back to the queen? Does this princeling even want to continue oppressing after hanging with them on this field trip? He’s had a taste of what it might be like at the cool kids lunch table if it packed up and went on the road….
Maybe they will keep the egg. Maybe they will become troubadours who fly the skies, delivering poetry and wrecking governments and raising this T-Rex to be an absolute menace to law and order…

OOCShaz passed the Sneaks roll. Shaz and Bug Guts passed the Smarts roll and Mim failed it.
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Last edited by lostcheerio; Apr 10th, 2024 at 04:35 PM.
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Old Apr 11th, 2024, 01:17 AM
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"Terror lizard? You mean a T-Rex? You want a T-Rex egg? Why you crazy kids are a sight to behold, aren't you! Reminds me of some of the adventures Jerry, Gpoe and I got up to! One time, Gpoe got this quest in his head for us to go find some dragon skulls, so we flew 7 days in Jerry's stupid death trap ... or was it 9 ... hmmm, maybe 8 ... or ..." Jerry pauses, lost in thought.

It's enough of a break for the Book Eaters to be able to concentrate on their search. And with Pimplepop's latest question answered, there is complete serenity ... except for the small hiss of steam coming from below the ground.

As Mim looks everywhere but at that hiss of steam, Shaz and Bug Guts follow it, through a pile of rocks, into a cavernous opening and into a dark cave with a pleasant reptilian odor, the breathings of a large creature and the slight sheen of a golden egg in the dark.
right-aligned image

Slowly, before you, two eyes begin to open and begin to scan the cavern, but don't seem to register your presence.

They shut again ... and Shaz, you know the egg is yours for the taking.

Just then you hear a voice behind you.

"It was 7 days! I remember it now!" You can hear the sense of triumph in Jerry's voice. And after all, nothing is sweeter than something recalled after it seemed almost lost. "The young prince reminded me when he began asking ... what is it you were asking Prince Pimplepumpernickelpoppity? "

"It wants to know: Are you an upper or a downer? Where is the scoreboard post for this open roleplaying game and who is currently winning?" Pimplepop says, almost apologetically.

"I told him you Book Greeter-Meaters or whatchacallyourgobs would probably know the answer," Jerry shouts, because that is apparently how a gob makes itself heard in the dark. "Hey! What are we doing here? Are you going to steal Mary Agnes' egg? Why you doing that when you can just go down to the Dino Humane Shelter down the mountain," he asks, pointing--in the dark--to the direction that he takes to be northeast.

But you could, Book Eaters. Shaz has positioned gobself perfectly and knows this egg is for the taking, even with the eyes just opening again in the dark. A swipe. A hop on the pteranodons and neither Jerry nor Barry is your uncle--thank gob.

OOC
Choices!

You have already rolled for a clear swipe. Your Pteranodons are guaranteed to move 2 squares. The T-Rex will get a chance to gobble you down as you go--combined Gob Sneaks/Gob Smarts roll from each of you to survive--but you can get away with the egg.

Or you can go elsewhere?

Conditions: 1) Banished from the Centaur Kingdom (you cannot pass through the Centaur lands 2) Welcomed by Orc theater troupe 3) No ticket to ride (the funicular) 4) Riders of the Cloud Pteranodons (can skip over one space and move to second space in one turn) 5) an egg is yours, if you take it
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Old Apr 11th, 2024, 11:23 PM
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Eggs it, stage left
left-aligned image

Shaz creepies forward just a slick little step and swipes the egg. YOINK!

That was the whole mission (not that she is going to go back to school and a monarchy and turn in the egg like a good little oppressor server)

Time to drop out. Time to form a band and make protest music. Time to get the people, any people, to rise up against oppression, any oppression. She has five lives to spend, and this feels worthy. Bug eyes, full teeth, can't stomach the class system. With Cloud Dino Airforce and a T-Rex Infantry---Hey Regimes. Come at us. Brah.

Maternal Bonds? Shaz Frat thinks, more like Maternal Bondage, amirite. Her own mom is a bougie super-consumer who has super-consumed, at last count, 6 of her own 10 children. She can’t imagine T-rex mums are any more warm. Fifth Hell, at least her mother is a mammal…

"As we travel, let's all take turns sitting on this egg, hey? Maybe our warm gobbutts can hatch it faster." She turns to the Frosh. "You ready to slough off the crown and ride with the Book Eaters, Bumpleburst? Mim is our lead singer, obs-obs-obs, and I am on bass and costumes, because OBVI, and Bug Guts is drums BECAUSE OBBBBVIIIIIII — who can deny the bang power in this pecs. (Except, like, your mom. So far. We’ll see if she crown abdicates and goes full roady after our first hot single….)

That means you can be lead guitar AND the captain of the infantry. If the T-Rex sees YOU first, I bet he imprints like a duckling, and you can ride him into glorious battle between sets."


She puts the egg on the cloud-dino and sits on it, ready to follow Mim and Bug Guts toward anykind of absolute mayhem they desire.

Mim as lead singer is not going to mew out some dingy rhymes about love or professional disappointment. No. Mim is going to roll her eyes back in her head, unhinge her jaw, and screech like a freaking stepped-on cat got hostile with a baator. A dark and deadly stretch, has Mim, for the devil's triad with three octaves in between. Lyrics are for other people. She's ahhhh and bwooooow and scraaooiiiiii and huuuuuuunnnh. Oh, were we not practicing here? The fragility of dino ears are not really Mim's problem. The cloud pteranadons don't seem to mind it.

Bug Guts was starting to get real sick of old Barry and his attempts to vicariously relive his past questing days through the Book Eaters. If he knew there was a T Rex lair up here why'd he waste their time? Probably jealous of the crungly Book Eater stylie and maybe a little insecure in the presence of such robust gobliness, prince notwithstanding.
right-aligned image

Well, all that reminiscing couldn't waylay this quest squad. There was the egg, and now Shazza has it. Sorry Maria, but you can make more. Besides, Bug Guts never knew who his parents were and look how he turned out. It's probably for the best, tyrannical mothers raise damp, milky gobs. Bug Guts side eyes Blisterbark for emphasis.

On the way out, Bug Guts lingered to admire a dino skull that might fit his head and make a dope helmet. He heard a Snorfle behind him and felt hot breath on his back that stank of old meat. "Heyyy girl, hey" was all he could get out before a big, clawed foot came down with enough force to rattle the discarded bones and squoosh number five outta him like the juice from millipedes that lets you see ghosts and taste colors if you mash them up a bit and rub the stuff under your eyelids and tongue. Crungly..." He oozed out from underfoot and quickly mounted Lauren, "Fly my fluffy friend!"

The Book Eaters soared high and free in a southeasterly route that mirrored their journey to the mountain. Maybe along the way, or as soon as they land, Bug Guts alters the poem they revised for the Centaur King. Maybe he changes the signature to his own. If he were to do that, which he did, maybe he'd also tell the Elf Queen about how the Centaur King said she was as thin as a twig and twice as coarse. Maybe the Book Eaters named all Centaurs liars and spit upon their prairies and just maybe, Bug Guts thought about handing the poem to Blisterbark to give the Queen. Ultimately, he gives it to her himself and asks, "Do you like live DIY bands?"



OOC: Bug Guts and Mim failed the clean getaway and have each lost a life. Shaz Frat has taken the egg. We are traveling through C2 into C3.
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Old Apr 12th, 2024, 12:10 AM
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AddendumShaz and Mim think of themselves as uppers, but they have left school for now, so they aren’t, like, on the team just as this moment. Bug Guts, the strongest gob they know, is a downer, and he still has his letterman jacket on.

Shaz says, "Chill, Frosh, you can check the current game on the school Tantlinstagram (Powered by Hell, as are most Prep School booster shizzes.) --- right now, the Downers have the edge. Go BUG GUTS. Her mate is such an absolute downing savage that he can pull even while way up here having a mountaintop experience."
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Old Apr 13th, 2024, 02:13 PM
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Chomp! Chomp! But only at the air.

Book Eaters, you skedaddle with the goods like the legendary egg-snatchers that you surely will become known as for generations to come!

"Well, you did it, didn't you! That's just ..." Barry shouts before he sees a T-Rex emerge from the cave and decides whatever he was going to say is less important than racing back down the mountain on his T-Rex X-press. "That's a good lizard, Mary Agnes! Who's a good lizard? You are! You are!" he shouts over his shoulder as he starts up the engine.

Mary Agnes, however, is no threat to you, Book Eaters.

Sure, she roars and stomps. She wiggles her tail to register her disappointment. But she is having trouble even tilting her head to see you take off into the skies, let alone slash you with her claws or chomp you with her teeth.

After the escape, your flight is uneventful--but only uneventful in terms of not being hunted by a T-Rex; after all, how could you describe flying through the air on a cloud pteranodon as uneventful? Especially since, yes, you would have been able to find an old skull and can now take sartorial adventuring to even higher levels.

You also discover another wonderful surprise as you fly--the pteranodons are a gracious airlines. Jennifer doesn't bat a wispy eye as she accepts the egg and ensures it doesn't even wobble from its set place in her downy back, not even when she does graceful loopity-loops in the air.
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Graceful and puffy-faced

Your attempts to help the egg hatch seem to have an effect--cracks certainly appear and you can hear pecking noises, possibly more.

After passing over a large structure with bodies and bottles strewn throughout the surrounding yard, you begin to fly over a forest and the pteranodons, though loyal and lovely, begin to flail in their strength. The descend in slow, easy spirals, taking turns in an orderly manner and landing in a small pool of water at the edge of forest where a figure stands and greets you.

"Hark, twee green ones!" says an elf with a disgustingly, boringly traditionally handsome form as he steps forward and holds classical ballet position. "Have you arrived to frolic as the misty dew leaves the buds and then tiptoe through the tulips?"

When he comes closer, you can see he is one of those--an elf from the enemy tribe. You know this because his face is puffy, swollen by bee stings, as are the faces of all members of his tribe, other than the Queen and the Honey Princess.
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The Great Goblins Beat Elves Battle

Book Eaters, you aren't big on lore. But maybe you ate a book and somehow imbued this. Or maybe, despite your best efforts, some traditional stories got through to you as they were told around the fireplace.
right-aligned image
They call their leader The Honey Queen

Generations ago, the goblin kingdom faced revolution. A small, splinter group of goblins decided their Queen was dorky (hey, it was the term they used at the time). Known in Goblin Lore as the Shtook Feeters for their unexplainable preference for dry feet and forest environs, these goblins used fake information, lies, cheating and bribery to somehow persuade a few others to rise up and rebel. Of course they lost, and the Queen gave them a punishment that fit their crime--she exiled them with a bunch of gold (so they would fight over it) to an icky forest northeast of Goblinopolis. Over years, the terrible conditions of the forest deformed the Shtook Feeters. Their feet grew smaller, their bodies were stretched out to unnatural portions, and their skin began to reek of forest material and turned a wide variety of different colors as it lost its healthy glow of green.

For many years, there were no great battles between the two goblin tribes, but constant skirmishes across the land.

Ten years after the great battle, an emissary from the Centaurs arrived with a proposal that the Queen and the Gowdnook Shtook (because none of these goblins deserved the name of "Queen") meet to arrange an eternal peace. Stupid idea, but how could the goblins resist a chance to mock and one-up the forest-flunkies in clever negotiations.

The leaders met and signed a document in blood (by the other tribe's blood was already a disgusting red). And of course the clever Queen totally outfoxed the traitor. The new tribe had to be referred to by the derogatory term of "elves." The new tribe could never enter the goblin swampland (and all the goblins had to do was promise not to invade the forest--as if they would want it anyway!). And as a sign of amity (whatever), the two tribes promised to give one another a great gift every 10 years. The first gift was 10 years ago ... the Queen tricked the elves (ha! loser-name!) into accepting a hive of swamp bees. Of course they couldn't resist this reminder of their homeland, no matter what they claimed, and the head elf soon trained the hive to follow her voice. But ... because the elves had changed their bodies and their smells, the bees no longer recognized them as goblins and attacked all the others! For 10 years, no elf has walked this land without puffy lips, a puffy face, and welts from recent stings! In diplomatic terms, getting the elves to take this gift became known as honey-pot-shock diplomacy. The elves, in turn, gifted the Queen a stupid petty box carved from some stupid smelly wood. When it was opened, nothing came out. It was just an empty box of wood--this type of insulting tribute became known in diplomatic terms as "stupid elves bearing stupid gifts."

Unrelated, soon after that, each year a goblin was born who began hearing voices in their head that would demand answers to questions or tasks. At first, of course, the goblins just ignored them. But then they discovered that these questions and quests would force others to find answers or go out and accomplish things lest they, too, began hearing voices. Nogob knows how this curse began.

When Prince Pimplepop was born, it soon became apparent that he was a Quester, one who heard the cursed voices. The first years of his life his questions were easy to answer and seemed to be about basic goblin-life knowledge that a young goblin had not yet encountered. But they became more difficult. Royal gob scholars were assigned to find answers, and few Quest-Goblins were assigned to fulfill the tasks. All of this was kept secret, because of the shame that a Prince and possible future ruler might hear voices.

But then, as goblins say, when things threaten to become bright--darkness can always be found!

The Queen and her court realized that the 20th anniversary of the Great We Beat the Elves Battle was about to arrive. They proposed to the Centaur King to arrange another meeting and another gift-giving. The first one had gone so well, so why wouldn't the second go even better?
left-aligned image
The Queen has arrived for another gift-giving swindle!


And so the Queen and all her wise gobs came up with an idea ... they would steal back the hive they had gifted and simply regift it! It would technically meet the gifting requirements and also be a big nothing...just like the elves gave them 10 years ago. In diplomatic terms, this would be known as: In your puffy faces, elves!

Well, things didn't go as planned, which they realized when a box arrived from the elves, not empty this time, but with three Quest-Goblin heads swimming in honey.

Fortunately, Prince Pimplepop's illness provided inspiration for their next move when the voices came to him and asked: What is the most frightening animal around?

Indeed, what was the most frightening animal, the goblin scholars asked ... and then recalled stories of a terrible creature that lived on the top of a mountain mysteriously called T-Rex Mountain.

The idea was to send off Questers, have them bring back an egg, train the creature as an innocent-looking lizard who would kill on command--and who could be commanded only by the Queen.

Obviously, it was a perfect and fool-proof plan, the goblin courtiers agreed.

And, as of yet, nothing has proven otherwise.
right-aligned image
Hello? Are you my mother?

Of course, when Barry's messenger pigeon arrived, informing them that the goblins had arrived at the mountain-top and might not make it back in time, the Queen and her courtiers recognized that there could be a problem ... so they set off to intercept the group, crossing the mud river with only a few losses, and coming to the edge of the elf forest just in time to see the cloud pteranodons arrive.

"My questers!" the Queen proclaims when she sees you land, "and dear poopsy-woopsy! Follow in line ... and watch your Queen triumph over these nasty, rebellious creatures."

Every goblin knows what happened next, because it was recorded forever in the Great Goblin Epic. And what a tale it is!

OOC Finale
Book Eaters! You have arrived at the end! This next post is your last post of the game thread.

Here are the rolls that you need to do.

T-Rex hatching: For the first turn, while you are flying, roll a d4. If you get a 1, the T-Rex naturally hatches. If you get a 2, the T-Rex hatches because of your efforts.
If the T-Rex hatches during your ride, then you must roll to see who it imprints on. The cloud pteranodons will blend into the sky, so they will not become its mother. Book Eaters can choose to hide to avoid becoming its mother. If a Book Eater chooses to hide, they must make a successful Goblin Sneaks roll. After you decide and/or roll to find out who is hiding, you must roll the dice for all non-hiding goblins. The dice should be the number of goblins not hiding plus two. For example, if only Mim is not hiding, then the dice roll would be 1d3. If none of the Book Eaters hide, then the dice roll would be 1d5. For these rolls, Prince Pimplepop will be assigned numbers 1-2, and each goblin is assigned a number on the dice after this. Going back to the example of only Mim not hiding, then the d3 would be rolled and the T-Rex would imprint on Pimplepop if the roll is 1-2 and on Mim if it is a 3.

If the T-Rex does not hatch while you are flying, it will hatch when you land, surrounded by the two queens and their courts. The courtier goblins and courtier elves will all hide. The two Queens will not. Book Eaters can choose to hide or not (if you choose to hide, you must make a Goblin Sneaks roll). For the dice roll of this hatching, you will roll a dice based on how many Book Eaters are not hiding, plus 4. On the dice roll, 1-2 is still reserved for Pimplepop, 3 is for the Goblin Queen, and 4 is for the Elf Queen (5-7 are possible Book Eater numbers if you choose not to hide or fail at Sneaks rolls).

All of this is done only to set the conditions for your next post. On your last post, and particularly in the Great Goblin Epic (should you choose to write it and collect the 3 points), you can choose the events, reactions, and results however you wish. What have the elves prepared as a gift in return? That's your call. Does the Centaur King arrive to preside over the ceremony? That's your call! Does the doctored love letter make an appearance? That's your call. It's all your call.

It's been a wonderful journey, Book Eaters, and the ending is yours!

(PS--I will unsecret your thread once the other competitive team finishes.)



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Old Apr 14th, 2024, 12:31 PM
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THE END
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The T-Rex hatches under Shazza’s butt on day one. It creeps out and sees the prince who is riding pillion and imprints. Great! Now everyone in the band has a Dino. Anarchosaurus No-Rex is ready to rock power structures and roll over corrupt governments

Mim: Jennifer? Chloe? Hmmm. Rachel? Madison? Hmmm.

When goblins are born they get swaddled in rags. As they grow up, they keep these rags, more shredded and grey over the years, and wrap them around their arms, sometimes their legs, sometimes their heads. A reminder. Or something. Life and death. Or whatever. Goblins are often depicted in art with these rags in lieu of sleeves or pant legs. Like fighters.

Mackenzie? Emma? Nawww. Schuyler? Valerie? Nooo.

Of course Mim doesn't wear hand wraps or anything like that. As they fly away, she takes her old raggy strips out of her bag and throws them down through the air, watching them flutter. The dino leaks clouds. She wants to be called Mim.

If Bug Guts is being completely honest with himself (which, let's face it, is the Book Eaters way) he is disappointed the baby Rexie bonded with Blisterbark. But, seeing the prince go from a drippy weed of Pimplepop to the crusty booger Blisterbark did take some of the Sting away. There was still some work to do but at least he isn't skipping everywhere. Book Eater stylie is too strong to be contained, it infects and spreads like a rash.

Sure, everyone learned about the great goblin wars in school but the past is so far away and esoteric (that's a Shaz word, it probably means something only the Oldest of Olds understand) he never truly grasped the details. And history has always been a tool of the opressors since they're the only ones around to write it.

So, after learning what the Queens had been up to and how the quest had been more of an arms race in the cold gob/elf war, he felt done with courting royalty. Goblin punks never bend the knee or hold the hand that holds them down anyway. Better to fly off and make their own way with than to become a Barry on the mountain or a Centaur lap dog.

Book Eaters stay hungry. Book Eaters don’t: Read. Learn. Facilitate peace.

Before they even get to the Elf Kingdom, just after the baby hatches, they turn east and fly off the map, into the mystery.

But what of the great goblin epic? What of the love poems? Well! Those they make into paper airplanes, and toss them into the wind, trusting a benevolent god to get them to the right people, but hoping secretly that a less than benevolent freedoms loving god will send them to exactly the wrong people.

What did they find when they landed? Why, that is a story for another day. Shut your gob holes, children, and go to sleep.

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