[Game Thread] Chapter Minus One: A Small Favor

[godofallbears]

DnD Online Games Presents Chef Godofallbears' Cailean, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden 2: Hyper Fighting Turbo Championship Edition, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Cailean SaGa
Chapter Minus One: A Small Favor...

You wake up, feeling well rested, and utterly paralyzed. No matter how hard you try to move your limbs, you cannot seem to make them work. However, you still have use of your eyes, and what you see is a human male. This man is rather dashing, with brown unkempt hair, fairly rugged muscles, fair skin, and quite the sour look. "Right. Now, you all may be wondering why you can't use any of your limbs." The man says, holding up a tankard and chugging from it. "Far too sober for this...right, how do I explain..." He puts a thumb and a finger against the bridge of his nose and sighs. "Ok, the whole limb thing, I'm sorry about but I am honestly not in the mood for questions yet. Here's the situation for you lot that I didn't already explain to." He said, pulling out a roll of parchment. On it is a rather crude design of what appears to be some sort of large animal. "I am Cayden Cailean, the lucky drunk. This is Rwarasarus Prime, god of dinosaurs. I got way too drunk, wound up betting half my divinity to him, and now I'm down said half." He pauses to let this sink in before continuing.

"Now, I can't just go out and fight the bloke for it back. Bad manners and he'd probably trounce me. However, he has the tiny issue that he's not much stronger then about, say, six heroes or so when he's fighting regular mortals." Cayden said, counting out on his fingers before nodding to reaffirm. "So, I'm hiring you lot to take him down. You will be rewarded greatly, yada yada yada" The god says, rolling his hand in a circle as you feel mobility returning to your limbs. "Right, questions, introductions, etc should be taken care of now. And please don't bother saying 'Wut if I dun wanna?' Trust me, you all want to, I know for a fact, I'm a god, and I'm far too sober to deal with smartasses right now.." He resumes chugging his drink, his sour tone no better then it was a minute ago.

Mobility restored, it is possible for you to gain a full view of your surroundings. You appear to be in a dark, musty tavern, various scents of alcohol assaulting your nose. What little light illuminates the rotting wooden walls and floors comes from a small candle rested on a table next to Cayden. It is hard to make out anything else, and the tavern seems to be deserted otherwise. Mysteriously enough, there are no windows, and the sole exit, a door behind you, has utterly no light seeping through its cracks.

[Fragmaster01]

One of the seats appears to have a blob of blue jelly in it. It is our Master of the Universe, Kriss. A face and boobs protrude themselves from the blob, as she wiggles and jiggles in an attempt to discern her surroundings. "Ooh. He looks tasty. Where is he, and do we get cart fare?" She'd had troubles in the past with people who wanted her to go far distances to solve problems, then wouldn't pay travel fees. That was okay, because she ate them. People got mad, but it was tasty. That's the important part, right?

Kriss amuses herself by bouncing a little bit of herself back and forth, like a little Thing That Goes Donk, except made of jelly. *spluck*

*spluck*

*spluck*

[TristineEndelwood]

Tilting her seat back Tulip drops her head back limply fixing her eyes on the ceiling

"ugghh...what a pain..." she thinks mundanely releasing a lazy sigh. She had plans. Not grand ones admittedly but that leg of chicken had looked mighty tasty. As if her mind had been read, a rather excitable voice piped up beside her with a mention of food.

She set her chair down with a rather rude bang and bent her head down to observe what could only be described as a mass of jelly with boobs. Her serpentine eyes look at it straight in the face for a moment before she takes the scaled hand which had been hidden in her baggy three quarter lengths and cautiously reaches out a finger to touch it. A cold yet not unpleasant tingle reaches up her arm.

"Oh....right"

Well that's gonna be useful she thinks sarcastically to herself. She didn't want to put the energy into talking so instead she placed her elbows on her knees and cupped her face in her hands her eyes roving towards the other adventurers underneath the half closed lids. she really didn't wanna go...hell she didn't wanna do anything.. but hey if it kept the other half of her sated than maybe the reward was worth it...

"Tch...Tell the other God that when Wara..Roara....whatever... kills us I want to be reincarnated as a Duck...ducks dont have to put up with this crap..."

[Insacrum]

BANG

The loud noise resonating around the room was sound of a gnome head banging against a table.

bangbangbangbang

...In rapid succession. "I'm dreaming right? Cayden Cailean is asking me to go on a quest for him?!?!" Looks of disbelief, terror, awe, terror, giddiness, terror, excitement, and the least bit of terror fly across the face of the gnome sitting at the table due to the situation presented before her. She instantly stands up on the table top, "I'm Figit Gnarleybrook, but you can all call me Ambereye." It is now that she is able to take in the broad scope that are the other people in the group.

After stepping off the table, she walks over to the *splucking* mass of jiggling boobs, and a head. Ambereye reaches into the side pocket of the small backpack she is carrying an pulls out a glass stirrer and begins to probe the blob now in front of her. As the probe begins to melt, Ambereye throws it off to the side. "Hmm, I guess I'm going to have to get a new one of those," she mumbles to herself. She looks up into the face looking down at her probing, "Hi!"

She then looks at the bored looking one, when she makes her comment about ducks, "I wouldn't be so sure about that. I had this Ranger friend who swore up and down that his best animal companion was duck. Of course the duck didn't last long after it met up with a hedgehog... Natural enemies and all!"

[Fragmaster01]

"Hi! Do you have any more of those? Kinda glassy, but they fill you right up." Kriss doesn't really stop to ponder, instead splorching around Ambereye until she's wearing Kriss like a scarf. "Ooh... never seen a gun up close before. It's pretty." She takes pains to leave all her membranes on the outside of things, so that nothing gets eaten, though some part of her wiggly brain knows that the gnome probably does taste a bit like chicken.

[Fairman]

Sina stood up from her chair as soon as she regained control of her limbs. She looked at the drunk god across the table with annoyance; she had half a mind to punch Cayden in the face, as she very much disliked being paralyzed. A few moments later, though, she took a deep breath and decided against it - at least for now. Since her limbs still felt a bit sore, she started doing some simple stretches to calm herself down and organize her thoughts.

"Cayden," she said, "I'm all up for defeating evil gods, preserving the balance of the universe and stuff. But couldn't you have asked us in a nicer way? It's hard enough for me to maintain inner peace without being magicked around by a drunkard." As she spoke, she moved to more complex stretches, flexing the lean muscles under her tattered clothes. "And what's up with this place? It sure doesn't smell like Nirvana..." She didn't really feel at ease in the tavern. It reeked of alcohol, which reminded her of dwarves, which in turn made her really, really-

She took another deep breath. "I've got to relax," she muttered to herself.

[Insacrum]

Ambereye quickly changes her focus to the newly awakened Half-Elf. She is a little disappointed in the fact that this person didn't seem to be as unusual as the others present: A blob of goo, a dog, a cat, and a scaly person-thing.

She walks over to her as she is stretching and fires off a few rapid fire questions:

"Why are you stretching?"

"What's your name?"

"Why are you concerned about inner peace?"

She takes a big whiff of the tavern herself, "It might not smell like Nirvana, but I think it smells like adolescent ghosts. What do you think?"

[Fairman]

Sina diverted her attention from Cayden to the small woman bombarding her with questions. "Oh, yes. Introductions. I'm Sina Ibfist. Just call me Sina. I'm stretching because someone" - her eyes darted at the deity again for a brief moment - "just paralyzed me, and now I feel sore all over."

"As for inner peace? Well, that's because I'm a monk. In training. For people like me, life is a search for inner peace; a journey of spiritual self-discovery; a -"

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, as she looked closer at the girl. "... you're pretty short. 'Scuse me if I'm wrong, but you're not a dwarf, are you?"

[Insacrum]

Ambereye begins to giggle at Sina's suggestion that she's dwarf. "No silly, I'm a gnome!" She continues to go into describing the differences, "I would have to be twice as wide to be a dwarf, plus I don't have a beard... Wait, do girl dwarfs have beards. Either way I don't have one." she says this while grabbing her own chin.

She then points over to the bar within the tavern, "And a dwarf would probably be over at the bar trying to get a drink." She then turns to look at the bar, "Wow that looks like an old bar. I'm too young to drink, I'm only 50. At least my parents say I'm too young to drink."

She turns back to Sina looking closely at here still stretching, "Do you drink? Maybe drinking can help you gain inner peace. I've seen plenty of people sleep really well after drinking a lot. Although they tend to wake up really grouchy, so maybe the inner peace is only temporary."

Ambereye then squints at Sina accusingly, "Are you going to be grouchy if you don't find inner peace?" Then she gets a big grin and stands up tall, just out of Sina's reach "Maybe I can help you not be grouchy?"

[Fragmaster01]

"Silly, drinking doesn't get you inner peace: drinking gets you drunk. Besides..." Kriss slinkies over onto Ibfist, to continue examining the party members without regard for personal space. "Inner peace comes with a good meal. And lots of silly jokes, to make it all go down better. Is there food in this place?" This one was interesting. Very violent smelling, with a hint of barbeque sauce. She would be a welcome addition to the crew, in the way that "violent people doing violence in my name" is more welcome than said people busting up your kneecaps instead. Not that Kriss had kneecaps anymore, but it was still important to respect them.

[TristineEndelwood]

While this conversation unfolded in front of her, Tulip Tapped her cheek impatiently with the hand that was human. She had been contemplating the significance of the door but concluded that she didn't really care enough to want to know. She let a yawn of exasperation her mouth opening wide enough to display the vicious fangs and forked tongue hidden within.

The monk was really the only interesting one the others looked like they were the worst kind of adventurers...the energetic type. She rolled her eyes groaning inwardly to herself shoving her hands in her pockets again.

"You can...call me Sanchez....Or whatever...I don't really mind" she said in a slow drawl to the two still seated, dropping her head back to return to staring at the ceiling.

[NightSky]

The cat had remained on his back, immobile the entire while. He was rather content to stay there but there had been quite a fair bit of noise from the female individuals in the room, and he finally decided to stop playing dead. He was content to nap for a while longer, though it was evident that things were happening without him. "I must say, I appreciate the group you've gathered for me." His tone can't be deciphered as serious or sarcasm, as he stands and brushes his fur carefully back to its usual beauty. All the while he was observing his surroundings, from the miniature woman with an excessive amount of what the optimistic or kind would call 'spunk', and what he calls 'a ridiculous amount of energy', to the goo girl who is only distinguishable as a girl because of the mounds he presumes are meant to imitate breasts. Then also is 'Sanchez', who seems almost as lackadaiscal as he is, and the so-called monk, who was likely as far from finding inner peace as she would ever be, what with the aforementioned spunky gnome.

"Though honestly, a harem already? You are too kind, good sir. And the variety, it is simply enticing."

[Insacrum]

Ambereye is startled to see the throwrug come to life as she whispers to herself, "Kitty person..." But then she is now in awe with giddiness and a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, 'that might just be all of the fur, though.'

She has a lopsided smile on her face as she leans over to talk to Sina, never taking her eyes off of the cat person, "What's a harem?"

[Fairman]

Sina was quite happy that her new adventuring partner wasn't a dwarf. In fact, the monk's spirit was visibly liftened as she heard the gnome's innocent rambling about alcohol. "Ha! You're a crafty one. But, as you said, the peace I seek is more lasting than a few tankards of ale. And no, I'm not grouchy... most of the time. Not right now, at least." Feeling better after her stretches, Sina then sits back onto her chair, with her arms crossed before her chest; her head now stood almost at the same height as Ambereye's. "We should help each other in other matters, though. It seems we're all going to be partners from now on."

Sina then watches silently as the other adventures speak. She couldn't help but notice that the cat-person beside Cayden was acting very friendly towards the god. She then hears the gnome addressing her again. "What's a harem?"

"Beats me. Back in my homeland, I heard that some princes had a harem, but I've never actually seen one myself." She tries to remember something that may serve as a clue, but comes up with nothing. "I'm guessing it must be expensive. Some kind of treasure, maybe?"

[TristineEndelwood]

The conversation was beginning to get interesting. At the mention of the word "Harem" Tulip snapped her head up and stood. She seemed to saunter gracefully past the other women stating unabashedly as she went

"A Harem is a group of women...who exist to serve a master's needs" She circled the cat man trailing her hand across his shoulders observing him though her lazy eyes..

"Although i'm not sure this one would know what to do with one" flicking his nose with her scaled hand she walks softly to the table where Cayden sits and leans against it, hands back and her legs crossed she cocks her head to the side and sticks out her forked tongue.

Maybe this would be more interesting then she first thought...