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  #31  
Old Jun 30th, 2015, 07:01 AM
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Kellen has been updated and ready for consideration
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  #32  
Old Jun 30th, 2015, 05:32 PM
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phinar: secreted...

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  #33  
Old Jun 30th, 2015, 09:04 PM
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I've updated the character matrix at the bottom of the top post. I'm planning on going through all the posts since my last big feedback dump and putting in more feedback. If you've updated your app since I last looked at it, and you didn't drop a note in the thread to say so, now would be a good time.
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  #34  
Old Jun 30th, 2015, 09:33 PM
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I see archer's the favorite role so far.

Trouble's been updated. Changed the wording and sentence construction mostly, so the background leaves less questions. I haven't added much outside what we already discussed in secret text.

Last edited by Osse; Jun 30th, 2015 at 09:34 PM.
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  #35  
Old Jun 30th, 2015, 11:08 PM
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Added some background to Preter Taim - I think this is a good place to keep him, unless you have some other suggestions phinar.
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  #36  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 03:41 AM
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I'm interested in learning 5e as well, so a game like this with a heavy focus on combat/rules would be right up my alley. Should have an app up shortly, hopefully before the next round of feedback. Also, good to see at least one person here I'm already playing with!

-------

Application
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Name: Malcan "Spear-crash" Amakarr
Class: Bard (College of Valor)
Race: Half-Elf
Alignment: Lawful Neutral (Malcan is guided by a strict code of honor and unwavering loyalty to the Simbarch)
Role: Sergeant
Concept: A historian of war and strategy, whose role as record keeper has belied his tactical acumen. Until now.

To think this all began with draughts. Talis. Chess... Simple games. Malcan mused, watching soldiers awaken on the plains below. And yet one chance match, one daring gambit, had led me to this point. A scant month ago, Malcan had been living out of the Sailor's Home Inn, putting his money against that of passing adventurers in games of strategy. Between the dozens of historic codexes his earnings could buy - his encyclopedic knowledge of war made him nigh-unbeatable - and the crowds he drew with his legends of war, he had been content. Not happy; just content.

Then one day, a warmage came, an army veteran eager to bet her gold against the 'General of Stones', as the locals called him. The warmage had left broke but oddly cheerful that night; she had returned the next morning with a job offer, as an assistant tactician and record keeper in the army's Griffin Company. Malcan abhorred cheating, but the sheer luck that had brought him this opportunity almost felt like it. And now, after ten victories his suggestions had helped realize, the warmage - his commander - offered him another. "Sergeant..." he muttered, laughing.

It sounded right.
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  #37  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 06:52 AM
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Phinar, my submission is listed as incomplete. What am I missing?
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  #38  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 08:16 AM
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So, I'm in a review sweep right now. I can't say for sure whether I will be done before my breakfast meeting or not. Hopefully done today.

I may have just made a mistake, Winterwind. I will let you know in the review post!
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  #39  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 01:47 PM
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Is this game suitable for first timers? If so will look at putting character together shortly!
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  #40  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 04:21 PM
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Maybe!

The things your average first-timer should be thinking about are probably first: am I really going to be able to tolerate a pace where the game only updates a little more than once a week, or do I want something that's going daily or so? Am I looking for something with some role-playing heft, or do I want a pared-down tactical combat experience? Do I think that phinar guy looks funny?

One of the hardest things about being a new guy is that the games that are looking for players may not be the games that fit you best. That probably makes it less likely that you'll be selected, and probably makes it less likely that you'll want to stick to the commitment. One thing that can help is if you really like writing up applications.

All that said, I have selected new players before. Sometimes that's gone well, sometimes it's gone not so well. I would totally recommend taking the Oath of Sangus as a way of reassuring me that you won't flake out when it becomes clear that the pace is slower than you wish it was.
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  #41  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 05:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phinar View Post
I would totally recommend taking the Oath of Sangus as a way of reassuring me that you won't flake out when it becomes clear that the pace is slower than you wish it was.
I would totally recommend a new player solo game.

I hear that 13th Age NPSG DM guy is pretty good . . . .
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  #42  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 06:53 PM
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13th Age seems pretty awesome; I'm in this game of Hippo's that has been just about to start up since December or so.

Edit: I should add that New Player Solo Games are how I got my start on the site, and that I think they are a fantastic way to get used to play-by-post. Obviously not all games on the site match the same format, but it helped me get a sense for pacing, timing, response style, and taught me a bit about Pathfinder.
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Last edited by phinar; Jul 1st, 2015 at 06:55 PM.
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  #43  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 07:03 PM
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Some thoughts because I like to sprinkle them into the thread. It's like a bit of bonus information for the folks who bother to keep up with the thread. Right?

It's probably worth observing that the main enemy we can expect to fight is bound to be undead. The current ruler of Thay is a lich, and his armies are undead. We might see some enemies who yet draw breath but the overwhelming majority will be necromantic horrors. Plan accordingly!

I have been twisting and turning things in my head; I think I'm going to start the game off at level 2. I would like us to level up relatively quickly, so that we can have a diverse array of challenges, but "quickly" in PbP is certainly something of an ironic term. I thought about level 3, but that seems a little too strong for the story.

@Spankucus, I would like to characterize the roll-play vs role-play because I think you're right but I figure it's worth clarifying! At my most verbose, I am an ardent fan of The Art of the Two-Paragraph Post and in general the notion that playing by post is best done with clarity and brevity.

My vision is that we'll do a couple rounds of transition before/after a battle, and a series of combat posts during battle. Roleplay posts are best done as two paragraphs of 4-5 sentences each. Combat posts are best done as an explicit OOC listing of actions and a one- or two-paragraph post of 1-2 sentences each.

I hope that's what people are expecting. The focus is intended to be on tactical problem solving.

One last note: a lot of people have assumed that what I want in the two paragraph "compelling view into your character" is a backstory. Honestly, those two paragraphs could be anything, from the backstory that many have presented, to a personality profile, to a scene or two of narrative or descriptive text. I might have even given bonus originality points, had someone written their two paragraphs as a pair of limericks. Originality counts, but what I am trying to learn here is what kind of character you will be bringing to the party. If I can't tell, that will seem as risky to me as if you were applying with something controversial.

I don't want to encourage pandering, or set myself up to be manipulated, but I feel like it might be good to disclose that I find myself with a preference for highly visual, narrative-driven writing styles. Feel free to make what use of that you will.

Specifics time!

@Vex I'm really pretty impressed with Rhessa. The concept is strong and well-integrated. The picture's pretty powerful, too. As I hope is obvious, I'm cool with using the UA supplements, and the EE PG is fine, too. I'm pretty easy going about these things.

@Bhelogan, I honestly really enjoyed Ernest (knowutimean?) and I'm a little curious about how you'd mix a silly dipstick with American Sniper. My imagined mix can't decide whether to giggle or cower.

@Spankucus, I love Marack. I asked for a straightforward win and you just ran this guy right down the middle and into the end zone. He's here to kill Thayans and by Tempus he's earned that right.

@Avner I think you've caught on to my "should not be a healbot, but should heal" description! I tend to think of the medic role as much like you describe: a soldier with a handful of javelins and a roll of bandages.

@RadarD, I wondered when someone was going to bring up the Foresters! I think they still exist, but there's definitely a much larger "regular military" contingent.

@Daendil, I can see where you're going with Razzgar. Definitely toward the R. Lee Ermey end of the sergeant spectrum. I'd been imagining something like Whiskeyjack, but this is an interesting flavor.

@Daedric, I have to say that a lawful good rogue is an interesting idea. I really want to see how you pull it off. I think your concept gives me a bit of a hint, but I'm looking forward to the W that's IP.

@Winterwind, now I see your update! I'll try to correct the chart once I've finished feedback.

@Osse, Trouble just seems to be getting better. The prose is crisper and I like the way you've added a little explanatory text to the table items. I remember thinking once before about your Jackie Chan reference: I saw, on Reddit, that Jackie's reputation in Hong Kong(?) is substantially different from what it's like in the US. I wonder if I can find a link....

@Webling, Preter's quite distinctive now! It could be very interesting to see what the face of war might wreak in such a placid soul's psyche.

@Malcan, I see my very first bard! I'm actually surprised; I thought I'd see someone try to be a medic on a bard, or someone going for a bard/archer. And instead he shows up as Sarge! I like the idea -- it immediately makes me think of Duiker, the Imperial Historian. I look forward to seeing how it comes out.

Annnnnd I think that finishes up my reviews. If you've posted changes since my last review and I didn't mention you, I promise that it's not out of malice. But do drop a note in the thread to let me know, so that I might catch you in the next sweep!

I'll try to get the grid updated next.
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  #44  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 07:08 PM
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Wow. Wall of text. Sorry.
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  #45  
Old Jul 1st, 2015, 07:58 PM
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Application
Name: "Gnasher"
Class: Barbarian
Race: Half-Orc
Alignment: Neutral
Role: Infantryman
Concept: Savage freak of nature pressed into service for his physical prowess and previous crimes. Most blanch in learning he is a recovering... cannibal.

Story
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"It wasn't the gruesome scene. Nor was it the smell of the freshly dead bodies strewn about. No, it was the 'crunch, crunch, munch, munch' of the creature tearing through the bone and flesh that was sickening. We'd heard reports of similar incidents happening throughout the Dragonjaw Mountains but to actually see that it is a half breed is what's been causing the carnage to the mountainous tribes of humans and orcs was, frankly, unbelievable. But here the halforc sits enjoying his," *gulp* "lunch, while eyeing us with feral looks. He's huge, look at those broad shoulders and massive arms, he rips through the flesh so easily. If had to bet I'd say it hovers around 7 feet in height but it's hard to tell while it's squatting there eating. I've sent for Vlad the Enchanter to capture the creature so it shouldn't... be... long... Hey Private! Where the hell do you think you are... oh ****!"

In a flash the savage barbarian, later nicknamed "Gnasher", lashed out with a feral growl swinging his huge axe at the private that'd lost his mind and approached while he was eating. Blood flew in the wake of the arc of the swing and splattered across the shield as the axe rang out against the steel of it. Had it been wooden the young soldier likely would be holding splinters such was the strength of the blow. Knocked off balance, the rookie could only stare at death looming over him with wide eyes as his blade effortlessly arced in it's follow through and descended upon him. Closing his eyes he waited for the blow to land when a clang spared him from Kelemvor's judgement. Eyes snapped opened to find Sergeant Fry grunting underneath the weight of the blow as his Longsword barely kept the axe at bay. Gnasher disengaged, sliding to the right using the sergeant's shield arms against him as he looked for a hole in the defense to exploit. Sergeant Fry, no spring chicken, stepped in to keep the creature engaged all while barking formation orders to his squad. His men responded as well disciplined men do, and the quickly locked shields to protect themselves from the mighty blow that came. With the sarge ordering a slow retreat whilst reprimanding the young private, Gnasher returned to his no longer threatened meal. All there was to do now was wait for Vlad and see if the creature could be put to use.
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Last edited by Mostlymad; Jul 6th, 2015 at 08:13 AM.
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