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  #1  
Old Nov 14th, 2017, 08:20 PM
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Terrified Baby

So last year I saw a picture of a baby and it looked like it was in the depths of existential dread so I started writing little imagined conversations between me and him. I posted them to my Facebook and a few people seemed to like them. They are kicking around my hard srive so I thought I’d throw them up here. Just for ‘fun’.

Comments are welcome if you like.
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 14th, 2017 at 08:25 PM.
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Old Nov 14th, 2017, 08:21 PM
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Hello Terrified Baby

1.
"Welcome to the world, terrified baby," I say.

"It's ok baby," I say. "We're all terrified. But then we die and then there is nothing but the endless and empty abyss."

Terrified baby won't stop crying.

I understand, Terrified Baby. I understand.
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 14th, 2017 at 08:41 PM.
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Old Nov 14th, 2017, 08:38 PM
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New Hat

2.

"Cheer up, terrified baby. I got you a hat."

"Will it," terrified baby asks, quietly, "stop the wheels?"

I am confused. "Wheels?" I ask.

"The twin wheels of time and entropy. The wheels that grind us all, eventually, to dust."

"Jeez, terrified baby, I just got you a present. Say thank you."

"Thank you."
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 20th, 2017 at 07:28 PM.
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Old Nov 15th, 2017, 11:35 AM
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The Beast

3.

"Terrified baby! What happened to you?"
"I have transformed into a beast."
"Wow. What's that like?"
"Terrifying."
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 20th, 2017 at 07:33 PM.
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Old Nov 16th, 2017, 04:31 PM
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Getting older

4.

"I'm scared," terrified baby tells me.
"Why", I ask. The reasons why one should be scared are, of course, endless. But I do not know to which one terrified baby is referring to right now.
"I can feel my body changing. It's stretching. My bones are fusing together."
"That's just you growing up," I explain. "As you age, you will get bigger."
"Does it never end? Will I grow so large I crush the planet?"
"No. Eventually the process stops. And then, in a way, reverses. You will shrink and then die and your blood will become dust and your flesh food for worms."
"That sounds terrible," says terrified baby.
"Well you do get to be a skeleton after that."
"Oh. Ok then."
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 20th, 2017 at 07:32 PM.
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  #6  
Old Nov 17th, 2017, 11:17 AM
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Tacos

5.

"Hey, terrified baby, wanna go grab some tacos?"
"What if"terrified baby asks, changing the subject, "time is actually relative? If, for example, every block of time you experience as one minute, for me, feels like days of anguish? As if every moment is stretched, like a discarded, deflated birthday balloon, pulled until the rubber is taught and see-through, four, twelve, a hundred times its actual length. What if in terms of experience, I am not a baby, but through painful, extended moments, I am a thousand years old?"
"...so, no to the tacos?"
"No. Tacos sound nice."
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 20th, 2017 at 07:30 PM.
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  #7  
Old Nov 20th, 2017, 07:24 PM
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Stop and smell the flowers.

6.

"Here, terrified baby. Smell this pretty flower and tell me what you feel."
"I feel nothing."
"Get used to it terrified baby. This is your life now."
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Last edited by Jeffkevlar; Nov 20th, 2017 at 07:30 PM.
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  #8  
Old Nov 22nd, 2017, 03:10 AM
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Figure it out, baby.

7.

"Why so upset, terrified baby?"
"Life seems so long, and painful, and pointless."
"Don't worry. You'll be dead soon."
"How soon?"
"Sometime between the next moment and, I dunno, a hundred years from now."
"But what am I supposed to do until then?"
"If you figure that out, make sure to let me know."
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  #9  
Old Nov 22nd, 2017, 03:34 PM
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Believe!

"What am I supposed to believe in?"Terrified baby asks me.
"Oh, there are any number of gods to believe in. Or you can believe in your fellow humans," I answer.
"Fellow humans like yourself?"
"Sure."
"Tell me more about these gods."

Terrified baby is kind of an a—h—.
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Old Nov 26th, 2017, 02:06 PM
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"Hey, terrified baby. Do you think I should go to Cuba or Mexico for vacation?"

"What difference does it make? Either would just be the briefest stop on your journey towards oblivion."

"Terrified baby, you are the worst travel agent. Also, who hires a baby to work at a travel agency?"
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  #11  
Old Dec 10th, 2017, 04:08 PM
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"Hey",whispers terrified baby. "Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure".
"Knock knock."
"Who is there?"
"Death who comes for us all, eventually."
"....what's the joke?"
"Death doesn't knock!"
Terrified Baby’s laughter makes my eyes bleed
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Old Jan 14th, 2018, 05:42 PM
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Jokes are fun!

"Hey, terrified baby, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Because her life, like all lives, is just one pointless act followed by another in a long, unbroken chain until finally, thankfully, it all ends in endless oblivion."
"Um. Yeah. Also to get to the other side."

"Oh. That's funny."

"Don't patronize me terrified baby."
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Old May 9th, 2018, 10:44 AM
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Terrified Baby has the Worst Tinder Profile

"Hey terrified baby, I want to meet some ladies. What's the best pickup line?"

"If I told you that you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Would you, doing so, share your warmth, allowing some to pass from you to me, deadening, if only for a moment, the encroaching clammy cold of the void?

Would you stay that way while the sun spins around us in the sky, unceasing, uncaring? As time eats our dreams and nothingness creeps into our souls?
"


"No. I tried that one already."
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Old May 9th, 2018, 10:52 AM
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Graduate School

"I feel lost", terrified baby tells me in a small voice. "Like I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. Like my every idea is either wrong or completely unoriginal. Like what I think, or do, or say has no real meaning. Like I'm an imposter and any moment someone, everyone will find me out. Will this feeling ever end?"

"That depends. What do you want to do with your life?"

"Well, I was considering going to graduate school."

"I have some bad news for you, terrified baby…"
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Old May 10th, 2018, 01:52 PM
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Shadow Talk

“Why do you keep looking over your shoulder, terrified baby?”

“I think I'm being followed. Everywhere I go there is a figure, made of darkness. It is always watching me, willing me to fail. I can feel it’s judging eyes crawl across me. I look away, hoping that it is a figment of my imagination but when I return my gaze he is there still. Eternal.”

“Silly baby, that's just your shadow….no. Wait. I see it now. Creeeeepy.”
__________________
I have taken the Oath of Sangus.
DM of: So You Wanna Be A Starfinder? | Blood on the Snow | Out Of The Abyss
Very Very behind. So sorry if I owe you posts. Working on getting myself together to get back to work on here.

Last edited by Jeffkevlar; May 10th, 2018 at 01:54 PM.
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