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  #271  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 06:00 PM
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Banger
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Banger Deng
Race: Dwarf
Class: Barbarian (Unchained)
Alignment: CG
Appearance: Banger is a stout dwarf of typical height. The barbarian is covered by a head of wild and unruly hair that falls like rushing water down his chest and back. Banger’s piercing gaze is one that belongs to a person who is wholly dedicated to a cause or, conversely, to someone who has lost touch with reality.
Homeland: Outlander, Golarion

Step 1: Background
1) Banger is not a young dwarf and he has spent years living on his own after breaking away from his clan after rebelling from the strict rules and dictates of his people.
2) Banger has lived as an advanced scout in the wilderness, calm in his solitude. He visits his family once or twice a year… each separation harder than the last as he sees his parents age before his eyes.
3) Banger had and still has a strong streak of antisocial behavior. He has always had trouble with interpersonal relations, misreading or being oblivious to social norms. This difficulty led to his decision to distance himself from his clan.
4) The attack on his clan’s home came without warning and Banger was nowhere near when it happened. By the time he arrived all he could do is help bury the dead and search for any survivors. His parents survived but his younger brother… the brother who worshiped Banger… was taken by the marauding orcs.

Step 2: Goals
1) Banger is driven to find his brother and bring him home.
2) Banger regrets the years lost with his family due to his stubborn inability to accept his own faults. He hopes it’s not too late to atone for his transgressions.
3) Banger wants to find meaning to his life, such an abstract goal, whether that means a deeper connection to his fellow dwarfs, something he has never had or just find an actual friend.
4) Banger wants to find his way home, he is intent on the destruction of whoever is responsible for his translocation. The hope to return home is the only thing keeping his utter rage in check.

Step 3: Secrets
1) Banger runs from responsibility… from anything he can’t physically beat into submission.
2) Stereotypically, Banger hates large bodies of water… sinks like a stone.

Step 4: Characters of Note
1) Dregan Deng: Banger’s younger brother. A clan guard, meticulous and upstanding, the polar opposite of Banger. Missing after the attack on the clan.
2) Greta SlagNeck: Banger’s one true love. He has avoided her in the past due to his known inadequacies, but now sees that they could have a future together… is it too late?
3) Banger Sr.: Banger’s father… a domineering taskmaster. Master craftsman… drove Banger away from home… at least that’s Banger’s take on it.

Step 5: Memories/Mannerisms/Quirks
1) Does not drink… if he does, his limited self-control evaporates.
2) Will judge others for their weaknesses, self defense mechanism

Step 6: Flaws
1) I judge others harshly, and myself even more severely.
2) I am suspicious of strangers and suspect the worst of them.
3) I have trouble keeping my true feelings hidden. My sharp tongue lands me in trouble.
4) I too often hear veiled insults and threats in every word addressed to me, and I'm quick to anger.

Step 7: Why have we been chosen
Banger has led a lonely existence… self-inflicted… but good luck convincing him of that fact. Now, with the disappearance of his brother, Banger sees a chance for him to make things right… not only with his family… but also with himself. The chance at redemption burns deep in Banger’s soul… a beacon for the Dark Souls. In Banger they see a chance at the ultimate perversion… to take a man at the arc of his moral rebirth… hope filling his heart… and dash him to pieces against the rocks of hopelessness and futility


Introductory Post
The early morning dew clung to the grass as Banger plodded forward. He knew the orcs were near… he could smell their rank odor carried on the cool breeze. He had followed this particular band of marauders for close to a week, all signs leading to this being the group that had taken his brother… and Banger meant to have him back.

Can’t remember tha mist bein’ so darn thick, Banger thought as he peered into the opaque sheet that seemed to hang like a funeral shroud across the horizon. The barbarian paid it no mind however, intent on his mission. Banger ducked low as he moved forward, axe cradled easily in his rough oaken hands. He slowly brushed the high brush away, the tips of the wild grass tickling under his nose, forcing the dwarf to suppress a sneeze.

Banger’s fingers brushed up against a gnarled tree branch and the barbarian froze in confusion. “What in tha hells,” he muttered as he turned, his head cocked curiously. "That ain’t supposed to be here," Banger continued as he looked up at a massive tree, bare branches hanging dead to the ground. Looking about him, Banger saw that he was no longer on the open plains… he was in a bleak, unlit forest. Banger felt an uneasy pang of fear well up inside and an involuntary shiver ran down his spine.

“This ain’t no good… nae… nothin’ good at all.”
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Last edited by Begon Ugo; Sep 26th, 2019 at 09:08 AM.
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  #272  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 06:50 PM
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Response to feedback:

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  #273  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 09:00 PM
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Thanks for the feedback, I had misunderstood the "if you want to go wild and be from Faerun or Eberron let me know." I'll have to go familiarize myself with Golarian so my application likely won't be finished tonight. Will see what I manage to come up with
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  #274  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 10:08 PM
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Xian, I added some brain-spew (design concepts) if you want to share initial thoughts.
Intro is still a WIP

Cheers!
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  #275  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 10:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prometheous100 View Post
Thanks for the feedback, I had misunderstood the "if you want to go wild and be from Faerun or Eberron let me know." I'll have to go familiarize myself with Golarian so my application likely won't be finished tonight. Will see what I manage to come up with
@prometheous100 - I think that misunderstood my comments. I wanted you to familiarize with the primer material because some of the backstory items for your character included her bloodline originating from the Forsaken Planes which would inherently impossible lore wise. If you want to be from Faerun or Eberron you can, my comment was directed to let you know that if you are an Outworlder then you will not inherently have any ties to anything from The Forsaken Planes, with the exception of perhaps knowing someone who may have been taken.

@Begon Ugo - Banger is off to a great start! The only thing that I would ask from you is to flesh out his personality more and if you can give me a bit more to work in terms of his goals/motivations, but asides from those refinements, there is a enough to Banger to get him entry into the ice breaker. I will add you to the list of those permitted to enter! Onward!



@Qiksilv - I like the evolution of Rowan's storyl and his personality is starting to emerge more and more through the character concepts. Only thing missing is to write up his actual appearance in appearance entry that is publicly viewable (you pick his race) and make sure that it matches whatever image that you select for him in the app. This is what the other players will be responding to and formulating their opinions, so being non-committal in this facet of the character is not helpful.

@rhaiber - Responses to the responses...


@Caecielien - I think I know what you are going for and the individual elements seem fine, but just organize and solidify the character concept into a more coherent narrative for me and then I can give you some constructive feedback. Thanks!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian
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Last edited by Xian; Sep 25th, 2019 at 10:57 PM. Reason: Premature post... finished the content!
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  #276  
Old Sep 25th, 2019, 11:44 PM
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Quote:
... (you pick his race)... so being non-committal in this facet of the character is not helpful
. Do you care if the race is "other" or can it be anything?

I totally agree. I had been waiting to see what the roll came up with but I will get that addressed as soon as possible
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  #277  
Old Sep 26th, 2019, 01:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xian View Post
@Caecielien - I think I know what you are going for and the individual elements seem fine, but just organize and solidify the character concept into a more coherent narrative for me and then I can give you some constructive feedback. Thanks!
Done.
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  #278  
Old Sep 26th, 2019, 07:24 AM
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Let me know if this is satisfactory, Xian.

I decided to re-roll race and naturally got Human. Lame.
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  #279  
Old Sep 26th, 2019, 09:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qiksilv View Post
Let me know if this is satisfactory, Xian.

I decided to re-roll race and naturally got Human. Lame.
@Qiksilv - looks good, much more coherent character narrative and visual of the character.

I will add you to the icebreaker as of this time. Thanks!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian
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  #280  
Old Sep 26th, 2019, 06:49 PM
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Done.
Bump. Just because you are usually so quick to respond.
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  #281  
Old Sep 27th, 2019, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caecielien View Post
Bump. Just because you are usually so quick to respond.
It was Thursday night football... among other things that took my time after work...

Onward!

Cheers, Xian

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  #282  
Old Sep 27th, 2019, 10:57 AM
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Team,

I figured I would do the obligatory application update.

The current applicants in the ice breaker thread in no particular order:
  • Mrjoegangles as Khory the human warrior from the land of Gaea with a hammer of titanic proportions and a shikigami Pokemon, Kun.
  • suburbanplankton as Adria the arachnophobic servant of the Mother of Souls, Pharasma, from the land of Golarion with a fetish for death.
  • DoubleL1987 as the hopelessly romantic Subaru Litner, the kitsune with a secret identity as the masked bard, The Free Fox from Sigil the City of Doors.
  • Qiksilv as the reincarnated human druid and torn father, Rowan Ashton, doing his best rendition of the first the scene of the original Terminator from parts unknown.
  • rhaiber as the bubbly and goodly human Synthesist Princess Luminara Starshimmer in Stark Magi-Tech complete with her demonic AI, Nyxx.
  • MundayKnight as the orc avenger and apprentice to the andro-sphinxes behind the porcelain mask from the Osirian desert Hadesh the Apprentice.
  • Caecielien as the human sorceress of power and wanderer from Varisia, Elaenia Carren, accompanied by her faithful lupine companion.
  • Begon Ugo as the rare sober dwarf barbarian with daddy and anger "challenges", Banger Deng from Golarion (with a hint of a Scottish accent).

Current applicants still pending completion of character concept:
  • Keante as Hoyt the humble hulk of man with a hidden power of the spirits and his "imaginary" friend Cherry
  • AlphaZ as a human summoner and pracitioner of the dark arts with an unhealthy penchant for the rules, Mother Perrish, from parts unknown.

Based on the level of interest in the game, if there are new applicants by the end of the weekend, I will close the application portion and concentrate on the . All applicants that are pending will still have until 05 October to finish their applications and then I will focus on the ice breaker thread. The incentive here is that the earlier the completion of the application, the more time that applicant will have to spend in the ice breaker thread to show their stuff. (More on that later... )

Thanks everyone for your hard work and energy that you have put into your characters!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian
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  #283  
Old Sep 29th, 2019, 06:42 PM
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  #284  
Old Sep 30th, 2019, 04:51 PM
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Team,

As we start to wrap up the active application phase and move onto the interactive thread in the icebreaker (where things are starting to get very interesting), I wanted to outline the evaluation rubric that I am using in making my selections, which by the looks of it I will need given the quality of the output shown thus far.

1. Character Concept/App. The first and foremost criteria will be the strength of your character concept. This is evaluated principally on the quality of your writing and how interesting and consistent your character narrative is and secondly on how well your character narrative fits in with the setting of the Forsaken Plane. Again, this is an area where quantity does not equal quality, and in fact too much could actually be detrimental as it could obscure or detract from those concepts.

2. Interactive Phase. This is based on my evaluation on how well you perform during the ice-breaker and interactive phase. Again, this is place where quantity does not necessarily mean higher marks. This is based on how realistically (sans exposition) and effectively you reveal about your characters to the other PC and players. This also gives me a glimpse at your play style and how well you incorporate the tenets of the Two Paragraph post.

3. Peer Evaluation. While this particular criteria will not be a significant overall factor, but mainly intended to be used for tie-breakers or for impasses. Here in secret text, I would like for the players to list the two players/characters that they would like to accompany them if they are selected and a short reason why.

The applicants
  • Mrjoegangles as Khory the human warrior from the land of Gaea with a hammer of titanic proportions and a shikigami Pokemon, Kun.
  • suburbanplankton as Adria the arachnophobic servant of the Mother of Souls, Pharasma, from the land of Golarion with a fetish for death.
  • DoubleL1987 as the hopelessly romantic Subaru Litner, the kitsune with a secret identity as the masked bard, The Free Fox from Sigil the City of Doors.
  • Qiksilv as the reincarnated human druid and torn father, Rowan Ashton, doing his best rendition of the first the scene of the original Terminator from parts unknown.
  • rhaiber as the bubbly and goodly human Synthesist Princess Luminara Starshimmer in Stark Magi-Tech complete with her demonic AI, Nyxx.
  • MundayKnight as the orc avenger and apprentice to the andro-sphinxes behind the porcelain mask from the Osirian desert Hadesh the Apprentice.
  • Caecielien as the human sorceress of power and wanderer from Varisia, Elaenia Carren, accompanied by her faithful lupine companion.
  • Begon Ugo as the rare sober dwarf barbarian with daddy and anger "challenges", Banger Deng from Golarion (with a hint of a Scottish accent).

Current applicants still pending completion of character concept:
  • Keante as Hoyt the humble hulk of man with a hidden power of the spirits and his "imaginary" friend Cherry
  • AlphaZ as a human summoner and pracitioner of the dark arts with an unhealthy penchant for the rules, Mother Perrish, from parts unknown.


Thanks everyone for your hard work and energy that you have put into your characters!

Onward!

Cheers, Xian
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  #285  
Old Oct 2nd, 2019, 09:24 AM
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So you wrote this last post in the interactive ice-breaker also. On which one did you want the secret text evaluations?
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