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Old 02-20-2018, 05:35 PM
LittleBlueNA's Avatar
LittleBlueNA LittleBlueNA is offline
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Muh Status


Well, I'm back. I couldn't shake the thoughts of my characters, although I only intend to join one game this time around, so as to avoid the stress and strain of owing so many posts.


This isn't an easy decision for me, but I need to say goodbye to RPGX. I've had a wonderful time, enjoyed getting to know so many of you, and it's all been very helpful for me in my recovery, but my life is moving on and I feel like, for various complicated and some stupid reasons, that it's just time to close this chapter before it starts being too much of a drain on my energy.

Thank you all for the wonderful characters, stories, and interactions <3


Still struggling, but I think I'm starting an upswing. Some of the stress from my disability claim is gone since I was finally approved, but there's still the stress of actually waiting and still having to fill out forms and crap. I'm getting more exercise, more sun(and we're finally getting sun, yay). We'll see, I'm cautiously optimistic.


Starting to use this again. I've had a combination of things happening recently that are getting to me, mostly a huge amount of stress relating to my disability claim. I'll do my best to keep up, but I'm struggling a bit at the moment, so feel free to NPC me if it's needed to keep a game going.


I'm doing quite well recently. Summer is upon us, so I'll be spending some more time outside and with my kids, but I don't expect to fall behind in games.


Sleep schedule has been really jacked lately. When I try to sleep I only get a few hours, and when I try to stay awake I fall asleep for 8. It's more an annoyance than anything, but affects my ability to focus on anything for long.


I've finally gone off the Buspar, a twice-daily anti-anxiety that I was on to help with my Cymbalta withdrawals. They did their job, but the drowsiness factor was very high. Yesterday and today I've felt more awake than I have in months, and it seems like my withdrawals are almost completely gone(and those are mostly what was driving my anxiety).

So yeah, good news!


What to say? Things aren't great, but they aren't terrible either. Changing medication feels like somebody's inside my brain constantly messing with dials, just takes some time to get used to the 'new' me.

I still have some withdrawals from time to time, but the biggest problem right now is that it's taking most of what willpower I've got to take care of my sick daughter. She's got a cold that won't go away. I'm expecting things to look up over the next weeks.


I'm down to a dose every third day, soon to be every fourth. The day after a dose is usually ok, but it's been a steady cycle of getting worse the longer I go between doses. I should be able to get enough done on my good days to stay caught up, but we'll see what happens when I'm going a week between doses.


Um, brain zaps started today. They're incredibly unpleasant and I think I'm thinking strange...


Well, I am making the medication change. It sucks, but not quite as much as I was expecting. Yay!


Things have been getting steadily worse for me over the last month or so, and it's likely I'm going to be making a change to my medication starting tomorrow. If I do, it's going to really suck, since I already know what the withdrawals are like from this one. I'll do my best to keep up with my games, but feel free to NPC my characters.

For those who don't know, I struggle quite heavily with depression and anxiety. Usually this doesn't affect my posting at RPGX very much, because it's one of the few things I actually enjoy and is a nice escape from reality, but sometimes it can. I'll update my signature if it's becoming an issue, and my DMs are always free to NPC my characters to keep a game going if I'm having a rough time. I really don't mind.
Status: Winter sucks, I'm surviving. 2/28/2020
Never Lose a Post Again!

Last edited by LittleBlueNA; 08-21-2019 at 02:50 PM.
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