Information Round 5 - Adjudications and Feedback - RPG Crossing
RPG Crossing Home Forums Create An Account! Site Rules & Help

RPG Crossing
Go Back   RPG Crossing > Recruiting, Solos and Open Gaming > Open Roleplaying > Iron DM Stadium > Iron DM 2023 > 2023 Archive
twitter facebook mastodon bluesky

Notices

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old Dec 18th, 2023, 04:40 PM
savoylen's Avatar
savoylen savoylen is offline
Adventure Architect
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 20th, 2024
RPXP: 34525
savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen
Posts: 21,341
Round 5 - Adjudications and Feedback

Round 5 - Adjudications and Feedback




Adjudicator 1st 2nd 3rd 4th
Admin RonarsCorruption Strangemund Humble Athena Jbear Rhaiber
Bhelogan Strangemund Jbear Humble Athena Rhaiber
Fillyjonk Strangemund jbear Humble Athena Rhaiber
LostCheerio jbear Strangemund rhaiber Humble Athena
PlaidPeregrine Humble Athena Strangemund jbear Rhiaber



50+% of Vote Needed to Win

Participant %R1 %R2 %R3 %R3 TB
Humble Athena 20 - - - -
Jbear 20 - - - -
Rhaiber 0 - - - -
Strangemund 60 - - - -
__________________
GM of: Dark*Matter: The Hoffmann Institute (2007 HOF),
Traveller: The Third Imperium
New here? Try a New Player Solo Game for 13th age, CoC, DnD, FATE, Pathfinder, Traveller.

Last edited by bananabadger; Dec 24th, 2023 at 07:07 PM.
  #2  
Old Dec 18th, 2023, 05:22 PM
Fillyjonk's Avatar
Fillyjonk Fillyjonk is offline
#Bard4Life
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 21st, 2024
RPXP: 45555
Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk Fillyjonk
Posts: 12,416
FINALSIRON DM this year felt like such a celebration of your wild imaginations and showcased the energy and love we all devote to this hobby. All four of these entries are worthy to be here, and I loved reading them. I hope every one of you is proud of what you did here. You should be. You should be proud as hell.

In the end, Strangemund’s complete world and plot twists won me over. Jbear’s character creation method was exceptional, but the writing and the mechanics became more rushed as he tried to fit in all his story. This gave him the slight edge in the numerical tie with Humble Athena; the Sheep Set was so creative (love the table!) but the mechanics were dice-over-story and so many words that could have deepened this were left on the table. Rhaiber made the ambitious decision to follow a single story all the way to the end, and while I loved each mini-adventure (esp VICTORIANA) it felt fragmented.

Methodology: Since the numbers do not matter, only the rankings, and since I felt every entry was strong and smart and fun, I defaulted everything to a four. Any area where you shone, I pushed to five, any area where I felt there was room to improve, I pushed to three. Ingredients well-used defaulted to a four, five for exceptional use, three for under-use.


TABLES
Player Rank/Place
jbear 2
Strangemund 1
Humble Athena 3
rhaiber 4

Category jbear Strangemund Humble Athena rhaibur
The Technical*(15 points)    
a. How easy would it be to run this scenario/adventure?*(5 points)3544
b. How well is the scenario/adventure presented?*(5 points)4345
c. How well is the scenario/adventure written?*(5 points)4555
The Story*(15 points)    
a. What would this scenario/adventure be like to play?*(5 points)4534
b. Is the story interesting to read?*(5 points)5555
c. How creative is the scenario/adventure?*(5 points)5555
The Ingredients*(15+ points)29272824
Total Points54555452


JBEARYou have a true gift for bringing disparate elements together to great effect, cross-pollinating fandoms and setting familiar things in odd juxtapositions that resonate. Here, you reimagine the Egyptian sickle as a scythe/reaper; this worked perfectly, though I admit the Lovecraft crossover didn’t work as well for me. Making character creation part of RP eliminates/gamifies the session zero into a party bonding experience and a chance to do some great RP to immediate mechanical effect, and all the prompts/mechanics are great. Every PC has a reason to do the adventure built-in to the creation process. I was blown away by this section, honestly, it is such a gift to DMs and players. Using your own rules lite system was a bold move. You nut-shell well it in your opener, and your understanding of balanced, exciting combat is on full display here.

INGREDIENTS: The wordplay with SET as both god and theory was a treat +1 The Sheperd tone as an "ever-ascending maddening" ringtone was the best use of this auditory illusion. +1
+2 EXTRA INGREDIENTS: Dassies ARE native to Egypt and so they make sense here, very cute! And payback is certainly present in a karmic way.


STRANGEMUND
Great job encapsulating a setting I do not know and briefly explaining terms and rules in a system I have never played. I could run this, and considering how low my opening knowledge base is, that’s fantastic. You ask for player buy-in up front and offer specific hooks DMs can offer players. In the same way I associate complicated, challenging mechanics with jbear, the hallmark of a Strangemund Joint is your well-rounded, idiosyncratic NPCs. I am a sucker for a plot twist and a mystery to unravel, and I would love to play through yours. There were plenty of routes to uncover the secrets and the story. This is a contained sandbox, where the choices within a limited space are endless. Kudos.

PS I tried to read this on my phone, and boxes in boxes in boxes smallened the font. I tried three different Styles in Style Chooser to no avail. Still, when my big complaint is MEEMAW NEEDS BIGGER LETTERS, you know you have something special.

PPS The three related names and your previous work showed me naming is important to you, so I googled OLVA and got a dopamine hit when I learned it mean WOLF, tying her to the hound. This is next level investment in world building.

+1 point for SET THEORY, +2 for Leaky ship and Payback.


HUMBLE ATHENA
You have such a boundless imagination, and I am enchanted by the idea of the Chaos Plane and the effects of Chaos in this game. You also have a real facility for creating playable, layered NPCs in a few broad strokes – a gift to DMs who run your modules. Hubris on a Horse is fully embodied in your especially choice villain. It was clever to you use hubris as a fatal flaw in the Greek sense, as a downfall, and made that ingredient really shine. I love the concept and the table/effects for sheep sorting so much, and you had the best use of ingredients overall. Everything felt integrated and natural, and if the ingredients were not in red, I would not know which things had to be included.

INGREDIENTS: Hubris on a horse as a jumping off point to create a great character and then the centaur mutation! +2 SET THEORY Sheep Sets +1 The spear singing/ringing the tone was a great combination. +2


RHAIBER This is so funny and slick. Your sense of humor is a superpower, and I love your writing style. There is an infectious giddiness to much of this that I think would lead to rollicking nights at a table. This adventure as a whole is the closest thing to a true sandbox that we have seen --- although part of that is due to scope; your story stretches across the entire competition. I also appreciated that you had some darker tones to leaven the mini-adventures. The CoC mini was a welcome splash of darkness and showcased your ability to change mood and tone and to work within multiple systems.

Ingredients: Dassies are one of the hardest ingredients as they feel so random. You found a way to make them native to an important environment. Nice! +1 Turning Charron's leaky boat into a quest? Chef kiss. +1 Set theory, when the bulk of adventure is actually a set of mini adventures, resonates. +1 That said, having each ingredient be the genesis of its own mini-adventure softens the challenge of amalgamating disparate elements.
__________________
Join the Bunny-ism Chorus Perpetual
🐰🗡️🐰 Bunny by Mona Awad 🐰🗡️🐰
Visit the RPGX's Drop in, Drop out,(hop in, hop out?) no strings, no stress Book Club

Last edited by Fillyjonk; Dec 23rd, 2023 at 12:14 PM.
  #3  
Old Dec 18th, 2023, 10:37 PM
savoylen's Avatar
savoylen savoylen is offline
Adventure Architect
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 20th, 2024
RPXP: 34525
savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen savoylen
Posts: 21,341
As the 2023 Iron DM contest has come to a close, I want to extend our heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for your incredible contributions. Your dedication, creativity, and enthusiasm have truly made this year's contest a resounding success.

The energy and passion you infused into your entries were inspiring, and the quality of your work elevated the entire event. It's clear that the 2023 Iron DM brought together a community of exceptionally talented writers, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to witness and celebrate your skills.

Thank you for being an integral part of this creative journey. Your commitment to the contest has not only made it memorable but has also contributed to the growth and vibrancy of our writing community.

I look forward to the possibility of seeing you in future events, and hope the experience was as rewarding for you as it was for me to witness. Once again, thank you for making the 2023 Iron DM an unforgettable adventure - actually many adventures!

- Savoy


__________________
GM of: Dark*Matter: The Hoffmann Institute (2007 HOF),
Traveller: The Third Imperium
New here? Try a New Player Solo Game for 13th age, CoC, DnD, FATE, Pathfinder, Traveller.

Last edited by savoylen; Dec 20th, 2023 at 01:34 PM.
  #4  
Old Dec 19th, 2023, 11:57 AM
Admin RonarsCorruption's Avatar
Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption is offline
Worldcrafter
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 13th, 2024
RPXP: 38980
Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption Admin RonarsCorruption
Posts: 35,829
Iron DM Final Round
https://www.rpgcrossing.com/showthread.php?t=227214

Welcome to the final round! I expect the competitors to deliver some interesting and engaging adventures, so let's see what they've given us.

 


 


 


 



 
  #5  
Old Dec 20th, 2023, 01:12 PM
bananabadger's Avatar
bananabadger bananabadger is online now
Awopbopaloobopalopbamboom
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 21st, 2024
RPXP: 73321
bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger bananabadger
Posts: 18,919
 
__________________

Last edited by bananabadger; Dec 21st, 2023 at 09:56 AM.
  #6  
Old Dec 20th, 2023, 02:00 PM
Bhelogan's Avatar
Bhelogan Bhelogan is online now
Druid of the Coast
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 21st, 2024
RPXP: 36021
Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan Bhelogan
Posts: 21,212
 
__________________
Outplay 2024 is now Open!, Applications opening May 6th
Contact: dmbhelogan@gmail.com

Last edited by bananabadger; Dec 24th, 2023 at 02:39 PM. Reason: Removed Secret fieldset to prepare for thread opening
  #7  
Old Dec 20th, 2023, 06:39 PM
PlaidPeregrine's Avatar
PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine is offline
Story Harvester
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 21st, 2024
RPXP: 33485
PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine PlaidPeregrine
Posts: 7,440
 
__________________
Posting: Slowish. Stressed. Doing my best!
"Speak your mind even if your voice shakes." RBG

She/Her

Last edited by PlaidPeregrine; Dec 23rd, 2023 at 08:07 PM.
  #8  
Old Dec 22nd, 2023, 08:13 AM
lostcheerio's Avatar
lostcheerio lostcheerio is online now
Swords, not words!
 
Tools
User Statistics
Last Visit: May 20th, 2024
RPXP: 53133
lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio lostcheerio
Posts: 10,914
Congratulations to all for reaching the finals. It's an amazing accomplishment, but you know that, because you know the amount of time and energy it takes to do this much thinking and scheming and then writing and editing on such an accelerated timetable. The other thing I hope you know is how much fun it's been to read your work -- to unfold your twists, cackle at your jokes, love your characters, and marvel at your plots. Thunderous applause from the judges table!

This was between Strangemund's dreamy atmosphere and jbear's creative hook for me, with Athena's delightfully creepy rural fantasy landscape and rhaiber's merciless satire of all RPGs right behind. All four of these were fantastically wrought. In the end, my 1 and 2 were decided by the fact that in jbear's adventure the PCs are more central, while in Strangemund's adventure they feel a bit extraneous to the real story. The brilliant flexibility of rhaiber's collection of adventures pushed her into third over Athena's entry which felt thinner and less developed, even though her hilariously awesome use of Set Theory was the best in the round. Really all of these were so great and separating them into 1, 2, 3, and 4 was very difficult, but here are my rankings:

Player Rank/Place
jbear 1st
Strangemund 2nd
rhaiber 3rd
Humble Athena 4th

Feedback

jbear:

You have really struck a beautiful balance here, as your adventure is so scary-dangerous and yet so light and hilarious at the same time. Just the set-up is amazing in itself -- the mother, the fathers, the creative freedom players have over their PCs' abilities and weapons, and the fact that the call to adventure is basically analogous to getting a professional accreditation, but in the "House of Agony" where "choirs of sobs and suffering reverberate." I enjoyed the fact that you included a normal day-in-the-life of pairing deathseekers before things go horribly awry. It seems like a whole session could be played out before Nekhtu even interrupts, and players would get a lot of joy out of creating their spider hybrids, and working on pairing up the dead.

The Singing Spear is great as a character, and I love the song, but I think my favorite thing about this adventure is the NPC Hubris. I can imagine the fun of RPing this character, with his arrogant attitude, his terrible advice, right down to his awful ending. I appreciate that you have a way to include him even if the characters are wise and choose to take the dassies instead. Another great strength of this adventure is the openness of the ending -- that kind of complicated network of betrayals and alliances would be very interesting for players, with multiple paths to get that Silver Scythe.

Strangemund:

Your adventure in a living machine had compelling, otherworldly beauty. What gorgeous evocative writing you gave us, and what memorable, cinematic moments! The plunge into the blue liquid, the pause before the "hound" comes to life, the complexity of the interior that you manage to make both vast and claustrophobic, and the atmospheric sounds -- skillfully rendered and wonderful to read and imagine. You did a great job giving us a little primer on Numenera, with some graceful shorthand, so I apologize if some of my questions are part of the system that I would know if I were running the adventure. However, I did have some sticky questions that I feel like players would raise to the GM and I wouldn't be able to answer based on this. Why does the force field go down every eight years? How does Olva explain to the PCs that she knew how to make the Crypt Keys and her dassimatons are already there? Is the "it" that Troika is fused with the core of the ship or the spear? What *are* the spears, and what is the monster that the original three adventurers fought? I also wondered, and maybe this is best left up to the discretion of the person running the game, but -- what reaction would Olva have to being found out? I was left wondering if she was pure evil (just looking for data?) or if she could be redeemed somehow, leaving the three of them all in flowers in the end. I realize the word count limit makes everything so tight, and it would be impossible to explain everything, but as I think about how it would be to run this, those are just some little cracks that might need filling.

Humble Athena:

Okay, "Beleaguered Farmer" is my new favorite fantasy archetype, and "Extra Fat" is my new favorite mutation for fantasy animals. What an explosively creative use of ingredients you gave us here. The Set Theory thing -- I don't know when I've read a better use of a difficult, esoteric ingredient in IronDM ever. Just so good. There is much more to love here, and I love the many ways you set up for the PCs to be heroes. Saving the farmer's sheep, battling the chaos juice in the river, knocking the bully down, and defeating a tentacle monster, all would be very satisfying wins for players, and offer ways to define themselves and grow. The really cool thing about this adventure though, for me, is that you have layered a very slick creepy chaos vibe over what might first appear to be a bucolic landscape with very normal appearance. There's a real opportunity for an escalation of the "something's not quite right here" as the story progresses, that would be fun to play out around a table, with the tension ratcheting up throughout the session. You've also given any potential GM a lot of fun roles to play -- the grumpy farmer, the haughty noble, and Eli himself are all potentially great to dig into and embody. I was so curious about Eli and the chaos plane that I wanted to know more, more, more about that (and I want to go to the chaos plane so I need to go save his ship now!) but he was a bit of a blank slate. In one way, this is an opportunity for a GM to connect that character to plots in a larger campaign, but if this is a standalone, I want more.

rhaiber:

I'm going to get my reservations out of the way: I wonder, for those players who have been in this adventure from the jump, if their immersion in the world, or potential development of their characters can survive the satire, and repeated reminders that this is all just rehashed silliness. Everyone knows what a McGuffin is, but if you're konked on the head with the fact that this is an ultimately meaningless fetch, do you still really want to go after it? Players cannot suspend their disbelief, ever, in this game. So, can they really care? When I saw this final adventure was a continuation of this bounce through the afterlife, I was hoping for some heart-tugging moment of real connection or real stakes, to push through the send-ups and self-referential jokes. I don't see it here -- I see curtains being yanked back to reveal more curtains. However, I know that for a lot of tables, this would be a hilarious good time. For me, as a GM, I'm always looking for a deeper arc to unfold under the fun.

Having said all that! I am a big fan of your writing, the scope of your imagination, the fact that your entire run through IronDM was a continued crescendo. And most of all, I admire the flexibility of your adventures. This one must be the most incredibly flexible of all, as you've laid out a smorgasbord of choice. Make it shorter or longer. Use one system or seven. Yoink your players from My Little Pony to a Victorian basement cult. I also super love the idea of players choosing an archetype and then playing that archetype across many genres -- that is so cool! I would love to do that with a live group playing one of the mini-games per session. It would be so easy to run with whoever shows up, and easily rebuild the party each week. Instead of making up new characters for a series of one-shots, you're consistently playing into that one silhouette, and examining it from all angles. That to me is where the meaningful play could develop, as the characters grow and change through their experiences and being pulled into different settings.



Category jbear Strangemund Athena rhaiber
DM Perspective / The Technical*(15 points)12/159/158/1513/15
a. How easy would it be to run this scenario/adventure?*(5 points)4235
b. How well is the scenario/adventure presented?*(5 points)5234
c. How well is the scenario/adventure written?*(5 points)3524
Player Perspective / The Story*(15 points)15/1513/1510/1512/15
a. What would this scenario/adventure be like to play?*(5 points)5434
b. Is the story interesting to read?*(5 points)5434
c. How creative is the scenario/adventure?*(5 points)5544
Audience Perspective / The Ingredients*(30 points)25/3027/3023/3018/30
a. Set Theory*(5 points)4352
b. Shepard Tone*(5 points)5544
c. Barbed Tentacles*(5 points)4552
d. Hubris on a Horse*(5 points)5432
e. The Sweet Smell of Corruption*(5 points)2534
f. The Spear That Sings Their Song*(5 points)5534
Total Points52/6049/6041/6043/60
Bonus Ingredients (4 points)2/43/42/43/4
a. Team of Yoked Silver Dassies*(1 point)1111
b. A Prototype Coin*(1 point)0001
c. A Leaky Ship*(1 point)0111
d. Payback*(1 point)1100
Total Points with Bonus54524346
__________________
Now recruiting for this summer's experiment: Exquisite Corpse RPG
💀💀💀 The game you can play with just one post!💀💀💀
Join members from all across RPGCrossing to play fun one-pagers, relay style.

Last edited by lostcheerio; Dec 23rd, 2023 at 09:42 AM.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:48 AM.
Skin by Birched, making use of original art by paiute.(© 2009-2012)


RPG Crossing, Copyright ©2003 - 2024, RPG Crossing Inc; powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. Template-Modifications by TMB