PotM June

[Admin Choc]

This time of the year is called the early summer of the Netherlands. Well, it still always rains though ;-). To be fair, this quote acknowledges the fact that our weather is famously unpredictable, hehehe

The Netherlands experiences mild summers, so if you're visiting from a part of the world with scorching or muggy summers, you might find the Netherlands a pleasant respite in June. The weather is famously unpredictable so you could experience cool drizzle or a sunny heatwave, but in general, you can expect daytime high temperatures of around 68°F (20°C). These are generally good conditions for getting out and about throughout the Netherlands, and there's not much regional variation in the climate.

With all that yeah, my grammar- and spelling control did not agree with that word ;-)unpredictiounousness... you can better stay inside and write your in-character roleplay post. Or you can even do more!!!
Why not check your games and reread all the posts written in June? You could even consider... NOMINATINGGGG A POST #whohohooow

--> you came to the right thread to do so!!! In this thread, we collect nominations to decide on a winning post of the month June and you can be the necessary input for this <3

• Please link the post you are nominating (only one post) and let us know your motivation and reasons for this nomination
• Check if the player is already a 2024 winner

[bananabadger]

Nominee: Leviticus
Game: 2024 Scavenger Hunt
System: Customized
GM: Leviticus
Post: Don't Mess With the Chef!

Background: A trio of goblins seeks to win their queen's favor by stealing a golden T-Rex egg from the top of a mountain. Their path has been fraught with challenge at every step, and here they discover their final obstacles, a clever gnome who can dodge their punches, a culinary challenge, and an impressively thrice-locked safe.

Reason: In many ways, GM posts are easier to create than player posts because a GM controls so much of the game world and can add pre-written scripts/elements along with whatever strikes their fancy. But in this game--one of the games in the non-competitive division of the 2024 Scavenger Hunt--Leviticus is working from a very bare-bones, less-flexible template from the competitive division script and is actively adapting the challenges, flavor, and content of the mini-adventure as much as possible to interact with the characters and style of the PCs. Leviticus does this by picking up on a chef-goblin PC's strengths to add in a culinary challenge, sprinkling in some physical challenges to reflect the PCs' pugnacious-goblin gambits, and dropping in a safe-combination cracking challenge to integrate the event's signature site-trivia questions. (When I saw that last innovation, I was equally impressed and jealous--what a simple, but brilliant tweak to the story!). Not all games have the freedom that Leviticus has as a GM, but freedom to reflect the world in your character's actions and preferences can also be a huge challenge--one that Leviticus rose to, on the fly and with a relatively quick turn-around.

Game link: Don't Mess With the Chef!

 

Don't mess with the Chef! The Foggy King in Faux Jeans crew had a solid plan. A wonderfully goblinish plan. A punch-that-smug-gnome-in-the-face-to-get-an-egg-and-then-free-Donna plan! Except… when Skreex threw her carefully timed punch at that gnome, it unfortunately got intercepted by Davos’ carefully timed kick, that was in turn - and very unfortunately - intercepted by Cooksy’s carefully timed frying pan whomp! One thing led to another and the crew found themselves all missing their gnomish target and instead tripping, falling, and smashing into its wagon. "AaEeee!" the gnome let out a terrified squeal in surprise before dashing up the yellow brick road to a safe distance. "Egg thieves! Ya cowards!" he yelled back at the three of you once he was ten paces away. At this point your entire crew was still on the ground untangling your limbs from each other. "But you didn’t get this!" he yelled while brandishing an enormous bronze key. "Without the society key, you’d have to bypass the lock manually by guessing the three codes, but you goblins are much too ignorant for that type of intellectual challenge!" The gnome continued speed walking backwards up the road as he spat out his epic bad guy monologue. "And even if you were able to guess the combination, you’d first have to give Donna some food so that she doesn’t snap y’er heads off! But you don’t know what she likes to eat!" He followed this with a very unfriendly, mocking laugh before turning and sprinting up the road with the eggs. One thing was sure, gnomes could run and there was no catching him at this point. A second or two later and the three of you heard him hollering back one more time, "I’m getting the society to deal with you lot! You can run, but you’s Goblins can’t hide!" And before anything else happened, Cooksy was already jogging into the valley toward Donna and her cage with a determined look on their face. It had been at least a few weeks since someone had the audacity to question cheffy’s cook’n and they were not letting this insult stand without a fight!" No one questions what Cheffy can eats or cooks!" they managed to roar out as they approached the cage. A huge bronze lock was at the center of the cage with what looked like three circular combinations around a keyhole. But to even access the lock, one had to get past Donna’s snapping, as her teeth could just make it out far enough from the bars to take off a hand or two reaching for said lock. An enormous - and empty - food bowl was just to the right of the lock within her cage and it smelled like what could only be a cross between human and horse excrement, defecation, excreta, le deuce, and many, many other words that Cooksy easily rattled off from the top of their head. They knew their ingredients! If only a goblin had access to that very specific flavoring that Donna apparently loved with all of her T-Rexy heart! The combination lock apparently needed the numerical answers to three different gnomish riddles to be opened without the key, at the risk of losing one’s hand to Donna’s appetite, unless anyone could figure out how to appease that T-Rexy with food, of course. Combination #1: What was the exact amount raised for the 12th annual RPGX charity drive? Combination #2: What was the total amount raised by RPGX for the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation over the past 12 years? Combination #3: How many posts were nominated for Post of the Month in January, February, March, and April of 2024 (in sequential order).

OOC Two team challenges in this post! First, the group must figure the food issue and second the group must figure out the right combinations! Oh, and your team can just barely see the tip of one golden egg toward the back of Donna's cage behind her water bowl .

[DeletedUser79558]

Nominee: Anael

Game: Stonehell

System: Shadowdark

GM: Lemming23

Post: From the Great Chronicler Geak

Background: This is an In Character journal by Geak, a goblin forager, describing what has occurred in the game so far. The parts in blue are Geak's use of poetic licence and not entirely what happened. A link to the IC thread shows the events that Geak is describing, and where his version differs slightly in emphasis / reality. Note: the original date of the post is May, as a placeholder / start of the post, but the main thrust of the post was made yesterday (in June) as Geak sums up the party's fate so far.

Reason: From the use of Comic Sans, to the lovely exaggeration (when stumped by a locked and jammed door: "Many strong try to move but no. I try and it move a little. Everyone cheer."), the pole envy (all the characters are level 0 and have only 1d3 random items; one of the other characters (Salambiccus, referred to here as Salami Biscuits) has a 10' pole, while Geak had only some iron spikes), the quest for new, fancy clothes, and the deliberate use of fractured English / Common (Geak is a goblin after all, and this is not his first language), Geak (and Anael) have entertained the group with this masterful (if slightly unhinged and erm, improved) rendition of their quest so far. It had me laughing so much that Mrs Lemming came in to see if I was ok. It also ends with tragedy (not the death of Salambiccus, but the loss of his 10' pole in the fire that took his life) and philosophy (if the undead keep rising and dying, do they eventually come back to actual life?). Despite all this tragedy, Geak remains hopeful (one day he WILL find some fancy robes) and self-possessed. THE WORLD WILL BELONG TO GEAK ONE DAY.


Game Link: The Chronicle

 

From the Great Chronicler Geak

DAY 1

I find slugs in swamp. JUICY slugs. Ones find in green water. Tasty! Winternuts gathered in forest. Boil slugs with, nuts and yellow grass... YUMMY. In forest hear voices. Rotten Hobgoblins. Think they're better then Geak. Everyone think they're better then Geak. Bravely I watch and listen. They go to attack village. Villagers think they are better then Geak too but I like villagers. Rush to village. Jump away from flaming arrows. Very fast. Could not hit. Laugh at Hobgoblins.

When get to village shout Hobgoblins coming. Everyone cheer! They say Geak the brave! Many women giggle. Must be love. No time for that I say village is in trouble. We run from inn to some gate in hill. It no open. Many strong try to move but no. I try and it move a little. Everyone cheer. Then priest find key in robe. Robe is fancy. Priest think he better. Look at me I have fancy key. I bet if put slug in would have opened too!

Village elder tell us we have to go in more because hobgoblins espy us. Elder lazy say go look deeper. We wait. Already run miles to from forest to village now walk more. Walk walk walk. Everyone tell what to do. Many go.. some go ahead further I know Azog he look scary, Firtly is dwarf very smart, Salami biscuits is human. Geak know from villiage always showing pole to Geak. Make jealous. He show pole to everyone! AND ME I GO TOO!

More in smells good. Like swamp. Someone build garbage doors. Twenty Geak steps in. They no work right. Carvings pretty . We go in more like 60 Geak steps. Is dark. Dwarf say funny things about attacking behind. I give slug to make think better. Azog has good idea I give slug. Everyone cheer and say delicious. There is room with fancy clothes! Clothes garbage like doors. Then come pole talk. I poke wall with pole. I am better then Geak. I have pole. Three things he have. He say. I say that three times richer then me! I have rusty spikes I find in swap. NO one buy rusty spikes. Priest say chapel down path. Village elder make me walk more. Go look deeper Geak. He think Geak like walking so much? TO BE CONTINUED MEAL TIME!!

HEY EVERYONE IT'S MEEEE GEAK I BACK!!!

Everyone praise Geak say I search small room finest! Even Salami Biscuits say he wish he brother! He say sorry for waving pole in face. We find nothing in room. We leave garbage room and lady outside she say priest bleeding hurry up or he die!

Priest think he better then Geak. Look at me I important I bleeding. How he bleeding anyway? Geak not know. You know, villagers is lazy. Say go deeper. Is danger up ahead!? I not know? What they do if is danger! But Geak courageously say I go ahead and save priest. Priest say he give robe and key to Geak if he dead. Then Geak have robe and then I has the key. Villagers say oh Geak open door with your fancy key. Geak is best!! Dwarf say smart thing again. Geak have no idea what he say. I play I do and nod. Then everyone think Geak smart too!

Everyone tell Geak what to do. Salami Biscuits acts up saying Geak SKRIMISHEER? What that?! Is good to have job but is all one big lie. It trick so Salami Biscuits can have Geak watch his pole from behind. He walk waving pole right in Geak face whole way!

It take many Geak steps to get to bigger room. There is skeleton man. He come walking at Geak like Oh I'm better then you I dead I have fancy robe! Why is everyone has fancy robe!? Is garbage. Then Geak have greatest plan ever. You never guess what is?..... I take robe!!!!

Geak throw metal thing he find at skeleton and miss. But you keep secret? I miss on purpose. Is part of great strategy! Then Salami Biscuits ruins it. He not know how to use pole. It all for show. He miss skeleton man. Then he say he wish he let Geak take pole Geak hit surely!

Dwarf climb on top of big man and jump. Geak not know what he do. Is way of genius. You not understand such complex things. Is great mystery. THEN THEN Salami Biscuits light robe on fire. He know Geak want. He do on purpose. Geak get mad. Geak throw metal thing so hard it explode skeleton man head. Then Salami Biscuits set his self on fire to burn fancy pole! He die. Not only name like food he smell like food now. Is tragedy. Fancy pole is gone.

Skeleton man dead.... again. But if dead is dead double? If die why is only rise up once? If come back is un-un-un-dead?
If he come back a lot is he alive again? Is confusing. I ask dwarf later. OKAY BYE FOR NOW. I COME BACK.

[EMIW]

Nominee: Elanir
Game: The Age of the Ebon Moon
System: D&D 5e
GM: BurrowingOwl
Post: Ina Wept

Background: What started as a normal night in the town of Denhald, a town of survivors in a world gone mad under the light of a corrupted, darkened Moon, has turned to tragedy. Violent death has been brought to the town by intelligent wolf-men who, now slain, have reverted to their original human form. Her own origins a mystery to her, and struggling with an increasing connection to her strange powers, young Ina breaks down in tears, overcome by the emotion of the night.

Reason: It's such a heart-breaking post. Ina is a fragile young woman who has suddenly had to become very brave, as she has never witnessed this level of violence before. To see all the thoughts and worries of Ina's mind, glimpsed through a veil of tears, is very moving. The layout is also very poetic, with most lines of the post starting the same way, "She wept..."

Post Link: Ina Wept

 

Ina of Denhald Ina Ina wept. Kneeling on the ground, among the dirt and the mud, surrounded by the pungent smell of spilled blood and the wild cries of Denhald’s militiamen hacking the last of the beasts to pieces, she wept. She wept for the bloodshed and the death she had witnessed. For the evening meal she never got a chance to taste. For leaving Terez’s cottage and subjecting herself to the horror. She wept for Raud, a man whose watch would never end, a man who would never return home to rest his feet next to the fireplace. She wept for the wolfman who hadn’t been a man at all. A woman, perhaps a little older than Ina was, but otherwise very much like her. She wept for the unseeing eye staring at the Ebon Moon and the eye her lightning had burnt shut. She wept for wounds suffered, some seen and some unseen. She wept for the monsters turning into people and the people turning into monsters. She wept for her weakness, for the feebleness of her voice, of her will, for her stupidity. She wept because she could not stop weeping. All she wanted was to go home, hide beneath her warm blanket and lose herself in the darkness, with only Thyrulen’s comforting touch and gentle words to keep her company. "Mother…", she whispered, but the word was drowned by the sobs and the memories. I am not your mother. There was no doubt about Thyrulen meaning what she said. There was no doubt that it was the truth. But if not her, then who? Don’t shed any tears over the fallen moon. What was in the past will again be soon. She waxes and wanes and is always reborn. Her radiant face the night sky shall adorn. Ina kept on weeping. For the lost moon. For the darkness that had swallowed the world. For the mother she would never get to know.

[Kaigen]

Nominee: Robodog
Game: Avatar: Winding Byways of the Spirit
System: Avatar Legends
GM: squirmonkey
Post: Link
Context: While an altercation between a local militia and a firebender who doesn't want to pay for protection happens outside, Su has slipped into the cabin, where the firebender's grandmother feeds them and asks a seemingly innocent question.

Reason: Robodog takes Su's response in an unexpected direction that nevertheless makes perfect sense for the character. It shows off a lot about what Su's life has been like and how they see the world while also setting up the amusing situation of this teenager treating a little old lady like a hardboiled interrogator giving the third degree.

Post text:

 

Su, the Rogue Character sheet (fluff / crunch)_____Cr +1 Fo +1 Ha -1 Pa +1__Fatigue 0/5_____Statuses …NONE Conditions …NONE Even as the piercing black eyes of Rijo’s grandmother unravel secret after secret, laying naught but the truth bare, Su remains obstinate. “You're pretty sharp, Auntie. I kinda haveta deal with a lot of sharp people. And I don’t like any of ‘em.” If Su’s words come across as cutting, then good! No point in trying to act all sweet and nice and innocent or any of it. It didn't matter that their head is getting yanked around, anything less would just be plain unSuish. “Oh right, I’m small so I’m a mouse. Haven’t heard that one, Auntie.” Mouse. Rat. Bug. Anything tiny and showing up where they’re not wanted, Su's heard it. Being shoved into a chair for interrogation, that’s pretty well travelled territory for Su too. Nothing to worry about, whatever the situation outside it seems to be settled so there’s time to indulge Auntie and her questions. And her cooking. But, with how bad interesting the stew tastes, maybe it’s actually part of how Auntie gets her victims to talk. Not that it’s the worst thing Su’s ever put in their mouth! Far from it. But that doesn’t make it nice, does it? “Rijo? He punched your hippo cow! He’s loud and fighty, and I don’t like loud and fighty. Since I’m a mouse and all.” Su pushes the lumps of meat around the wooden bowl without making too much effort to eat more. “What d'ya want me to say, Auntie? I really don’t know him much. Maybe he's the kinda guy I really hate! Or not. But I’m not staying on your island too long, might be no time to find out. This nobody mouse is pretty busy, y'know?” “…maybe if Rijo wants to help out, this little mouse could have a bit more free time to think about him.”   OOC: Just to be clear out of character answering honestly : Su is far too busy with this delivery job to hang out with a stranger like this apropos of nothing. However, if Rijo is willing to help out with this delivery job and make it go faster, Su will have some free time to then hang with Rijo.

[Qiksilv]

Nominee: Leftyyy88
Game: Wild Beyond the Witchlight
System: 5e
GM: Qiksilv
Post: Link
Context: While traveling through the Carnival Lefty’s character stops at a small game booth where the challenge is to out poem a Gnome.

Reason: Leftyyy plays a HalfOrc city guard with no sense of humor who is consistently the ironic comedic relief in the party. The dice did not favor his attempt to battle the rhyming talents of the Gnome so Leftyy technically lost the battle (we fudged it and he rolled a bonus die so he did succeed in the end). Despite the loss he still crafted 5 different rhymes for his post. Each of them reflected some bit of the game we had played far and I felt that the work he put into them merited a submission.

Post text:

 

What Rhymes With Hal-orc? Character sheet | Kadar Gorthak | Half-Orc Paladin 1 / Warlock 1 | Traits: I face problems head-on. A simple, direct solution is the best path to success. I can stare down a hellhound without flinching. Ideals: Responsibility. I do what I must and obey just authority. Bonds: I'll never forget the carnival and what it stole from me. Flaws: I obey the law, even if the law causes misery. Personality | AC: 18 | HP: 21 / 21 | Hit dice: 2 / 1d10, 1d8 | Darkvision 60' | Passive Perception: 9 | None Passed death saves: 0 / 3 Failed death saves: 0 / 3Conditions | Common Orcish Dwarven ElvenLanguages Kadar followed his friends as they wandered around the carnival and discussed their plans. But as they moseyed around, a persistent voice caught his ear. "Sound the chime, it's time to rhyme! You bring the poem! We'll bring the gno-em!" Kadar had never admitted it to anyone, but he secretly loved poetry. He had a small book of it back in the barracks at his guard unit, carefully hidden and disguised as a dirty magazine so the other guards wouldn't think he'd grown soft. He turned and approached the small stall. "A poem, you say? Well, let me think... Ah, how about this?" Dice * Performance Check: 1d20+4 (20)+4 Total = 24 As I walk through this lovely carnival, I see the food and want to eat it all, Though the dragonflies are scary, And the bugbears are hairy, I have enjoyed my time here after sunfall. He stopped and waited for the booth operator's reactions to his impromptu poem.   Here are additional attempts for the 3 out of 5.   "What? You need more? Well... Hmm... OK, this particular one comes from the style of the old master, Bill Shakesword:" Dice * Performance Check: 1d20+4 (19)+4 Total = 23 The first soft pause, a nameless horse complaint, Sun had scorched them, riders scuffed them, obscured. We had to help, what could we do but paint? When we were done their names had been restored! Yon happy horse, that joyful steed, and friends, They took us 'round that merry carousel. Around we sailed, the fun seemed not to end, But soon enough, we had to say farewell. And yet as a thanks the horses gave us dirt, Their secrets spilled like beans upon the ground. Some nasty folk had stolen: people hurt! And now those thieves were hiding, can't be found. Some people hurt, a mystery to solve. But now I've sworn, this crime will be resolved!   "No? Not that one either? That one was from the heart... All right then, here is a little gem I have been quietly composing about the, well, you'll see." Kadar begins snapping in rhythm and nodding his head as he gets in the groove. Someone begins playing some sick riffs on a lute somewhere nearby. Dice * Performance Check: 1d20+4 (1)+4 Total = 5 One thing, it tastes so good It doesn't even matter if I'm understood Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme To remind myself of a time when I ate so much In spite of the way they challenged me Actin' like I was there for their revel'ry Remembering all the times I ate my lunch I'm surprised that I got so far Cupcakes aren't the way they were before I didn't even recognize them anymore Not that I was complaining back then But it all comes back to me in the end I ate all the cakes in sight And even though you tried, it all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually Be a memory of a time when I I ate so much, stomach's in a bunch, But in the end, it doesn't even matter I had to finish so I could win it But in the end, my face was smeared with cupcake baaaatteeeerrrr....   "What about a new take on this classic by Thylan Domas?" Dice * Performance Check: 1d20+4 (10)+4 Total = 14 Please go gentle on carnival delight, Heavy hearts should stir, be lifted up here, Play, play under the twinkling starlight. To see the children laugh is such a sight, Or hear Palasha sing with voice so clear. Please go gentle on carnival delight. Some rides may scare, may bring an awful fright, But it will end, that temporary fear. Play, play under the twinkling starlight. Soon laughing friends and dragonflies a-flight, Will ease the soul, make memories held dear. Please go gentle on carnival delight. Cupcakes and eclairs have made my belt tight, I may need to diet if I stay here... Play, play under the twinkling starlight. Soon Big Top comes, good grief, oh, what a night, How filled with joy am I to be right here. Please go gentle on carnival delight. Play, play under the twinkling starlight.   "The final poem. Something from the far east lands of Kara-Tur:" Dice * Performance Check: 1d20+4 (4)+4 Total = 8 A grand carnival A mystery and a heist Will I be absolved? He bowed solemnly and waited for the judgment of his poems.

[PlaidPeregrine]

Nominee: Mallothi
Game: Exquisite Corpse: Adventure Skeletons!
System: Based on Grant Howitt's Adventure Skeletons, a one page RPG. Experimental "Exquisite Corpse" gaming style. An Exquisite Corpse, per the Museum of Modern Art (in New York City), is, "A game in which each participant takes turns writing or drawing on a sheet of paper, folding it to conceal his or her contribution, and then passing it to the next player for a further contribution. The game gained popularity in artistic circles during the 1920s when it was adopted as a technique by artists of the Surrealist movement to generate collaborative compositions."
GM: Multiple

Post: A Most Exquisite Post

Background: Imagine a game with several players and several GM's. Each person only posts ONCE in this particular game. Now imagine that you, as the Player or the GM, can only see ONLY the last post submitted for the game and must interpret what the last person wrote, and include whatever you believe is notable from it into your GM or Player post and build upon the story moving forward. Got it? Cool beans! It's a patchwork tapestry that is amazing. Two Skeletons (Doc and Aphrodite), tired of guarding treasure for adventurers to steal and waiting around for more to show up, decide to be adventurers themselves. They are going to be heroic! Face dangers! Find treasure and enemies in a dungeon that could be a High School, a Village of living people....who knows - We do at the very end after a wrap-up post and all the Secret tags have been removed.

Reason: Mallothi jumped in with full commitment. Two skeletons (Aphrodite and Doc) and a skeletal good boi dog (Oss) are the PC's that he had to work with as a GM. The dungeon was there but something was missing - and he added an actual group of D&D archetype adventurers to (possibly) go up against our Skeleton PC's. Such adventurers that he added were: The Murder Hobo Barbarian, the Rules Lawyer Wizard and...well, please read the Post and the OOC notes that accompany it.

Plug: I will have to note here that choosing ONE post out of an incredible run of this experimental game with so many creative, artistic, and adventurous players was very difficult. If anyone has time and is interested in a simple SIMPLE and very fun one page RPG, rules LITE, follow the post link above to find Exquisite Corpse and detailed information about Adventure Skeletons and other similar games. There are two other Exquisite Corpse style games of Sexy Battle Wizards and the Witch Is Dead! (which may sound familiar!) that are running and expected to finish in July. Thank you!

Post Text:

 

IC Post from GM - A Tale of Two Parties The cadaverous canine trotted to Doc’s heel before dropping to a sit with a clack. “Oh, that,” he began abstractedly, before quickly rising again to sniff at the air. “You know, gods? Deities? Superhuman beings”—sniff sniff—“or spirits”—sniff—“worshipped as having power over nature and human affairs?” Oss’s orbitals almost appeared to narrow, so absorbing was his sudden interest in the olfactive qualities of the air beyond the Smith’s Bridge. “Do you smell that?” he asked, and unceremoniously loped away, leaving the good Doctor and Aphrodite to follow in his tail’s clattering wake. The Pit of Despair safely behind them, the sound of the automata’s great hammer-blows dropped from a bone-rattling clang to a gentle, increasingly distant tolling. The perilous sense of yawning space that had characterized the Pit narrowed as the skeletons dogged their companion, proceeding down a long, stony hall. Oss scampered on, pausing every few moments to sniff cautiously at the air. The passage terminated abruptly in a spiral stairway, coiling tightly up and away, its upper landing out of view. Oss continued absently, “Set in righteous opposition to all manner of nastiness—imps, demons, and—” “What the devil?!” An unfamiliar voice, hushed and urgent, came echoing down the stair toward the skeletons. A weak, orange glow rounded the curve and stopped, wobbling over the steps. Another voice hissed, “Extinguish the lamp, quick!” The first replied in a harsh whisper: “Oh, boy. Here we go. Yes, yes, we all know you have darkvision, but I need the damn lamp!” Oss and the skeletons froze, waiting expectantly at the foot of the stairway. From above, Doc and Aphrodite could make out snippets of conversation—a contentious back-and-forth regarding marching order and the strangers’ relative powers of dexterity, mostly. At length, the lamplight began to ooze closer. A cluster of humanoid faces, stacked one atop the other like some fleshy totem, followed, inching around the stair’s central column. The party gaped at the skeletons. There were four of them in total, each decked in pristine armor and encumbered (if anyone bothered to track such things) with absurd bundles of kit. Affixed to their bulging packs Aphrodite spied, among other things, rope, bedrolls, pots, steel mirrors, waterskins, collapsible ladders, pitons, and—inexplicably—a 10-foot pole. “I wanna rage,” grated the largest of the bunch, running a calloused thumb over the blade of his wicked-looking axe. “Leeeeeroy Jenkins.” “If we double-back,” muttered another from beneath a shock of limp, greasy bangs, “can I sneak-attack from the shadows?” The robed half-elf at the bottom of the pile consulted a battered tome bearing the gilded inscription Complete & Unabridged Book of Rules Law. “Well, actually,” she groused, “you don’t need advantage if another enemy of the target is within five feet.” “Shut up, all of you!” barked the last, carefully producing a finely-crafted platerspiel and wetting his lips. “I roll to seduce the one in the wig.” It seemed Doc and Aphrodite weren’t the only fledgling adventurers in this dungeon. Village. Whatever.

 

DM Notes Dworin, The humanoid adventurers are a party of Level-1 scrubs, with low Toughness scores. The DC (“target number”) to hit any of them is 4. See table below for more details. The humanoid adventurers are also weak-willed, and won’t risk a TPK. If any one of them is taken out of action, the remainder will flee, abandoning their fallen companion. Each of the humanoid adventurers carries a Fabulous Treasure and an array of adventuring gear that can be either looted (if they’re taken out of action) or stolen with a DC 6 check. If you elect to swipe adventuring gear, you can select any one piece of equipment from the D&D 5e Adventuring Gear list. If you prefer to rush past without entering combat, the check is DC 8 (it’s very crowded). If you want to influence the humanoid adventurers in some other way (intimidate/terrorize/romance them, etc) it’s a DC 6. Humanoid Party of Level-1 Scrubs: Humanoid To Hit Toughness Fabulous Treasure Murder Hobo Barbarian 4 5/5 Really Great Greataxe (+1 to hit, two-handed, D8 damage, D12 vs the head) Edgy Rogue 4 3/3 Sweet Ninja Stars (4 quantity, D4 damage, D8 from hiding) Rules Lawyer Wizard 4 2/2 Complete & Unabridged Book of Rules Law (+2 on any check, once per post) Seduce All The Things Bard 4 3/3 Fickle Platerspiel (Flip a coin; heads cause all living creatures within earshot to dance for 30 minutes, tails instead deafen them for 30 minutes)

Rules, Rolls and OOC 'Doc' aka Doctor Bones Ancestry: Skeleton +1 Skills Skeleton knowledge Culture (especially Skeleton) Oss (combat, provides a +3 bonus if facing bone-chilling despair) Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) Hit Box Table for Doc (record hits with an "X" in place of the "_"): Number = d10 result for bone hit by attack, A = Extra Hit Box for Natural or Worn Armor Head (10) _ _ (skeleton is eliminated from the game if all head boxes are checked) Left Arm (8, 9) _ _ Torso (6, 7) _ _ Right Arm (4, 5) X X Pelvis (3) _ _ Left Leg (2) _ _ Right Leg (1) _ _ Bone Status Table for Doc: Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso Right Arm with scimitar Left Arm Pelvis Left Leg Right Leg Inventory: Item Description Scimitar One-handed weapon, d6 damage Magic Bone Glue Re-attached natural bones get an extra hit box Aphrodite Ancestry: Dwarf +1 Skills Dwarven Hardiness (+1 hit box to torso) Stonecunning (+1 to rolls involving rocks, including attacks using rocks) Oss (combat, provides a +3 bonus if facing bone-chilling despair) Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) Hit Box Table for Aphrodite (record hits with an "X" in place of the "_"): Number = d10 result for bone hit by attack, A = Extra Hit Box for Natural or Worn Armor Head (A,10) _ _ _ (skeleton is eliminated from the game if all head boxes are checked) Left Arm (8, 9) _ _ Torso (A, 6, 7) _ _ _ Right Arm (4, 5) X X Pelvis (3) _ _ Left Leg (2) _ _ Right Leg (1) _ _ Bone Status Table for Aphrodite: Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso Right Arm X Left Arm Pelvis Left Leg Right Leg Missing toe (-1 to balance rolls) Inventory: Item Description Amulet of Turning People On Gives +1 on rolls to make living creatures uncontrollably amorous Lush Blonde Wig Armor, gives one extra hit box to the skull 100 baby spiders in her skull +1 on rolls that require thinking?

[Fillyjonk]

PotM Nom Nominee: bothers Game: Exquisite Corpse: Adventure Skeletons! System: Grant Howitt's one sheet Adventure Skeletons meets Dada gaming GM: Plaid Peregrine LINK TO POST Context: Exquisite Corpse challenges alternating DMs and players to tell a story with only the post right before their own to guide them. To celebrate Pride, a group of loons decided to use one sheet games by queer designer Grant Howitt and apply a version of a game rule invented by four (drunk, I assume) surrealists in 1925. Reason: Come for the fleshy lugholes, stay for the resolution. bothers is a wordsmith. Every sentence is a pleasure, and at the same time, bothers managed to bring a wild story with 17 DMs and players to a close that was satisfying and fun.   Endings and beginnings Ah, adventure. Somewhere else, sexy wizards are battling. In a different place, cute little animals are revenging. But you two? You two are triumphing. Aphrodite, in her lush blonde wig, plays the trombone in a tavern, surrounded by adoring (fleshy) groupies Mighty Aphrodite, you dial down the frenzy and you dial up the lovin' feeling. Fleshies are oh so susceptible to music, the way it zooms and wobbles into their fleshy lugholes and vibrates the little hairs and cartilages (so inferior to bone!) and zaps up their webby nerves into the wet, moist, biological tissue blancmange they call their brains (so inferior to spiders!). They're even more susceptible to that fabulous amulet you picked up, all that time ago. It only works on living people, it says, but Aphrodite-- you're not living, exactly, but perhaps you have an eye socket to be caught all the same? Not here, among the sweaty, palpating epidermiseses, obviously. But as your gleaming white bones move smoothly through the crowd in your ersatz human suit, handily compensating for your missing toe with expert ball changes and shaking your chemise like a pro, perhaps you feel not just powerful (which you are!) but beautiful and charismatic. Perhaps, when you get home, you'll take up an instrument, like the trombone, and seduce your way through the world's ossuaries? You could be Aphrodite, the famous traveling Skeleton Adventure Bard, and do a much better job of it than that one human you deaded! Maybe, maybe. Doctor Bones nobly wields a scimitar from the back of a pale, bony horse Doctor Bones, Bones, calling Doctor Bones, is this your Last Crusade? You swing your smaller traveling companion and dance partner easily through the writhing mass of meat, as smooth as an infant's tooth enamel. You tip your human hat with the point of your scimitar arm in aknowledgement as you pass a pair of Rules Lawyer Wizards, grunting in each other's protuberant meaty ears, "on page seven thousand and ninety eight of the handbook, it clearly says...". The magnificent curves of your gorgeous skull are exposed, but they certainly don't notice you as they argue and complain and press their horrible slobbery tongues together like fat pink slugs and worse. Perhaps you've learned that you're a fighter, not a lover. There are so many human dungeons to delve, and so much cool treasure to be liberated. A skeleton could get a taste for adventure, for roaming the lands. You could ride a skeleton horse, and carry a shiny shield, and be a Grand Cleric Of Bone, protecting the little skellies and healing the injured with your magic bone glue. Maybe, maybe. A story, for each of you. Not the only story, to be sure. Success is double-jointed. You've won this adventure, and rattled off into the sunset, Oss following faithfully at your heels. But is your Scroll of All Knowledge safe? After all, you'll show it to the other skeletons and the word will spread, and others will want to colour it in too, and some of them won't even ask before they wear down your best crayons with their sad, unadventurous scrawls that they can't even keep inside the lines. Will you hoard your winnings, compelled to seek more, beset always by the fleshy, oily, stinky enemies who would take them from you? Will you build a dungeon of your own, or will you gather a party? Ah, who can say. None of us can pierce the veil of the future and tell you how things will be. But we can leave you now, elated and sated by adventure, turning each leaf of the scroll in delight ("look at this picture! this is of a skeleton!"), chattering your teeth and your skull spiders happily, Oss wagging his tail like an abacus, and wish you both the very best of luck. Oss the dog says: that's all folks!   Rolls and actions Humanoid Party of Level-1 Scrubs: Humanoid To Hit Toughness Fabulous Treasure Murder Hobo Barbarian 4 5/5 Really Great Greataxe (+1 to hit, two-handed, D8 damage, D12 vs the head) Edgy Rogue 4 3/3 Sweet Ninja Stars (4 quantity, D4 damage, D8 from hiding) Rules Lawyer Wizard 4 2/2 Complete & Unabridged Book of Rules Law (+2 on any check, once per post) Seduce All The Things Bard X DEAD Fickle Platerspiel (Flip a coin; heads cause all living creatures within earshot to dance for 30 minutes, tails instead deafen them for 30 minutes) Rules, Rolls and OOC 'Doc' aka Doctor Bones Ancestry: Skeleton +1 Skills Skeleton knowledge Culture (especially Skeleton) Oss (combat, provides a +3 bonus if facing bone-chilling despair) Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) Hit Box Table for Doc (record hits with an "X" in place of the "_"): Number = d10 result for bone hit by attack, A = Extra Hit Box for Natural or Worn Armor Head (10) _ _ (skeleton is eliminated from the game if all head boxes are checked) Left Arm (8, 9) _ _ Torso (6, 7) _ _ Right Arm (4, 5) X X Pelvis (3) _ _ Left Leg (2) _ _ Right Leg (1) _ _ Bone Status Table for Doc: Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso Right Arm with scimitar Left Arm Pelvis Left Leg Right Leg Inventory: Item Description Scimitar One-handed weapon, d6 damage Magic Bone Glue Re-attached natural bones get an extra hit box Fickle Platerspiel Flip a coin; heads cause all living creatures within earshot to dance for 30 minutes, tails instead deafen them for 30 minutes Aphrodite Ancestry: Dwarf +1 Skills Dwarven Hardiness (+1 hit box to torso) Stonecunning (+1 to rolls involving rocks, including attacks using rocks) Oss (combat, provides a +3 bonus if facing bone-chilling despair) Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) Hit Box Table for Aphrodite (record hits with an "X" in place of the "_"): Number = d10 result for bone hit by attack, A = Extra Hit Box for Natural or Worn Armor Head (A,10) _ _ _ (skeleton is eliminated from the game if all head boxes are checked) Left Arm (8, 9) _ _ Torso (A, 6, 7) _ _ _ Right Arm (4, 5) X X Pelvis (3) _ _ Left Leg (2) _ _ Right Leg (1) _ _ Bone Status Table for Aphrodite: Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso Right Arm X Left Arm Pelvis Left Leg Right Leg Missing toe (-1 to balance rolls) Inventory: Item Description Amulet of Turning People On Gives +1 on rolls to make living creatures uncontrollably amorous Lush Blonde Wig Armor, gives one extra hit box to the skull 100 baby spiders in her skull +1 on rolls that require thinking? Securely tied package one piece of equipment from the D&D 5e Adventuring Gear list.

[AnotherDragoon]

Nominee: PlaidPeregrine
Game: Exquisite Corpse: Adventure Skeletons!
System: Grant Howitt's One-Page RPG mixed with a heaping scoop of surrealism
GM: PlaidPeregrine featuring Various Artists

Link to post: The start of an Adventure, skeletons!

Context: By now I'm sure you're already familiar with this wild concept of a game you can play with one post. Multiple players and GMs play by responding to the secreted post before them (with somewhere between 200 - 500 words, give or take) and attempt to create a bizarre and entertaining piece of fiction that hopefully flows in a mostly coherent story with a beginning, middle, and end. Here's how it started.

Reason for dragging in this Exquisite Corpse for you to gaze upon: Well, the opening line alone is a classic call to adventure, and it's only six words! The premise of Adventure Skeletons! already takes classic RPG tropes and turns them upside down by having the dungeon denizens venture forth in search of treasure from the strange lands of Outside. Plaid has used a signature style to provide an evocative scene for the next player to build upon by introducing interesting characters with room for the players to flesh out (not literally, gross). Have you ever wondered what happens after the party leaves? Well, here's your chance to find out! This post is sure to ignite that spark of curiosity that animates all adventurers.

 

The start of an Adventure, skeletons! Lovely spired castle-like manor on a cliff overlooking the ocean with a winding cobblestone path lined in greenery and flowers. Below is a beach with an archway that leads into darkness under the manor Two skeletons, one wearing a lovely hat, playing cards at a card covered table by candlelight in front of a bookcase, whiling away their time Something is wrong in your world. "Something is amiss," you finally say. It’s up to you to say it, after all. You are their leader. You are Doc. You tap two phalanges on the crooked card table. You stare hollowly at the skeletal Dwarf across from you. It’s the only way you can stare. You are a skeleton. “Amiss,” you repeat, with a slight hiss between your well-spaced teeth. “Yes!” hisses the Elf skeleton. “Someone needs to go and find out what’s going on!” The Goblin skeleton chimes in, muttering about that hidden passage that leads “upstairs.” The Human skeleton, sprawled out on a velvet chaise, reminds you all that yesterday, faint music was heard coming from the long white stone hallway that leads to “out.” The Orc skeleton paces the salon, oversized and clunky. "I smelled the sea!" The Orc skeleton had been boasting for weeks how he traveled further than anyone down the hallway and approached a gap-in-the-wall-door and snorted moist air. You are all at least one hundred years beyond age. Your world has been a gilded cage, a very fancy prison far underground. Whoever you all were, you died here, and you forgot. You rose again, animated by magic, to defend this dungeon against what invading adventurers may come. And come they did, in regular waves, into this room. The elegantly carved chaise lounge seating, marble floors covered in silk knotted rugs in golds, greens, and cranberry -- all are now bloodstained, scorched by fire, and torn from nearly a century fighting adventurers who want your treasure. The white hallway is stained with blood, ashes, spilled potions, and pocked with acid splats from an exploded gelatinous cube named Blobby. But that all stopped, months ago. The white hallway that dead-ends into your little world has gone silent. The last group of meddling adventurers ransacked the salon, moved your favorite and most beautiful painting, solved the puzzle, found the hidden door, and BAM. Gone, leaving you to pick up your pieces, literally. And that was it. No more balanced parties. No more puzzle and door. And no one has added gems or scrolls or anything in just forever. "We have been abandoned!" the elf skeleton cries, rattling the few inches of rusted chain that remain shackled around the left ulna and radius. “Are we to just stay here, waiting, with no treasure to protect, no adventurers to destroy, and nothing to do?” “Yes!” argues the Dwarf. “We’re meant to stay here. We don’t go out. We die, we respawn, we fight. Adventurers come, and solve the puzzle, and find the door. That’s it.” No, you’re meant for more. Doc, you know what the world looks like “upstairs” beyond the secret door. You know what is out at the end of the white hallway. Don’t you? You’ve seen the paintings of elegant rooms that glitter in sunshine, a wide expanse of blue and a long beach. Maybe everything that has been stolen from you and your other skeleton friends… could be up there or out there. Gems, scrolls, magical doodads are waiting to be won. Legends waiting to be written. You’ve got supplies. A stack of busted armor and weapons. A shiny treasure chest. A pile of clothes and an assortment of ridiculous hats. You’re going, Doc. But who will go with you, out of this forgotten place, off to an adventure?

 

DM Notes Ah, Yoshi. There is one Skeleton missing from the party. Doc is a Skeleton's Skeleton, meaning he's been around for a while, replacing bones, perfecting the art of skeleton-ness and creating a fine undead culture down there in the Hallway. But who will be brave enough to be an actual adventurer? To face dangers untold and treasures unknown? Well, let's find out. 1) Please roll a D5. I would like to see two different types of Skeletons for this game, and this is why you are not using a D6. 2) Please go to the Ancestry chart to see if the second Skeleton will be an Orc, Human, Elf, Dwarf or Goblin. 3) NAME them, please. 4) Please update your Skeleton Skills. 5) Please update any inventory STUFF - Pick 2 things you are taking with you. Please note something like 'Clothes', or a 'Pirate Outfit' is one thing (no need to count wardrobe pieces ...pants, shirt, etc) 6) Have fun introducing the new PC! And the other PC. Just please have fun, Yoshi.

Rules, Rolls and OOC 'Doc' aka Doctor Bones SKULL (10): Two hits and your head is broken and cannot be used. You currently are at 2/2 +1 Skills Skeleton knowledge Culture (especially Skeleton) Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Leather is 1 additional 'A' (ie, hit box) and Metal is 2. Remember to roll for the random place your armor covers unless defined (If you specifically get something like a "Helmet" or a "Shin Guard"). Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) for 4 hit slots. Hit Location Table for Doc Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso (6, 7) Right Arm (4, 5) Left Arm (8, 9) Pelvis (3) Left Leg (2) Right Leg (1) Inventory: Item Description Item Description Skeleton Two SKULL: Two hits and your head is broken and cannot be used. You currently are at 2/2 and fine. +1 Skills Ancestry Skill Ancestry Skill Note about Bone Parts and Armor: Please add an "A" for armor next to the part(s) that are protected. Example: Torso (A, A, 6, 7) Hit Location Table for PC2 Bone Off Broken Replaced? Torso (6, 7) Right Arm (4, 5) Left Arm (8, 9) Pelvis (3) Left Leg (2) Right Leg (1) Inventory: Item Description Item Description

[bothers]

Nominee: Squirmonkey
Game: Exquisite Corpse: Adventure Skeletons!
System: Grant Howitt's One-Page RPG, but even weirder
GM: PlaidPeregrine and a bunch of other people

Link to post: What could be more frightening than a High School?

Context: Yep, it's another Adventure Skeleton post! Squirmonkey takes Wyn's setup of an ordinary human village recast as a sinister monster dungeon, and makes it even scarier.

Reason: A great eye for detail - what would a pair of animated skeletons make of our human Halloween decorations? Of our human Halloween outfits? What would a pair of animated skeletons make of a bored teenage goth? The defamiliarisation of our familiar human trappings makes for a foreboding (and comical) scene.

 

IC AI image for entertainment and fever-dream purposes only. Image may or may not reflect any actual facts of the story being told The aged Doc and the young Aphrodite rattle along the moonlit village outskirts to the large building with the docks and narrow boats. It forms eponymously the precise point where Hollypoppins sits upon the Stiggywick. The sign identifies it as 'HotS HS' which means, Doc assures Aphrodite, this is a barracks where the town's militia, the Fighting Weasels, are trained to start their rows. Probably, he says, there are few gnomes within and instead it houses the human brutes who do their fighting for them. Had the skeletons eyes, they would gleam thinking of the treasures that must fill the building's root cellar. "In and down" they remind themselves. They approach and, finding the steel doors propped open, enter. Within, brick walls are painted a sickly yellow, eerily square flagstones pave the floor, and the flickering light of fluorescent torches bathes the foyer of HotS HS in a glow as cold as that of grave worms. To the left, one wall is lined with prison cells, each barely large enough to fit a single skeleton. On the opposite wall hang half a dozen skeletons, their bones pressed flat like flowers in a scrapbook. Flattened bats and paper-thin spiders surround them, and it is only due to the absence of a flat-xidermied chimera that Aphrodite concludes these trophies weren't taken from the Tower of Grom-Xax-Yor himself. A gnome woman perched on a stool behind a plastic table greets the pair. "My, what exquisite costumes" she squawks, collecting her papers "What's the last name?" A coded couplet for which the skeletons lack the countersign. "Leave it to me" whispers Aphrodite, clattering up to the table. "Last name, please?" the gnome repeats. Then she notices Doc's scimitar and continues "Oh, and your brother will have to leave his weapon with the 'Quartermaster'" she tinkles a sardonic laugh as she indicates a dread figure behind her. Aphrodite's jaw vibrates, a blood-chilling mockery of innocent laughter as she answers. "Oh, we didn't realize. Since we've come all this way, maybe you can make an exception?" Meanwhile, Doc approaches the 'Quartermaster' who expects to claim his weapon. She is a young human woman resting, chin collapsed on folded arms, on another plastic table. Her black-painted eyes are the sunken sockets of a shambler, her face (despite its flesh) is more expressionless than Doc's, and she is dressed all in black. Her masters have placed a thin black collar with metal spikes around her neck, but where a nametag should go, a silver skull sits instead. On the table are tubs, which contain a number of curious weapons. A foam-bladed axe, a handgun with an orange tip, and a telescoping tube that glows red and makes a "nyeom beeouw" sound when a button is pressed. Doc is disinclined to compliance, though this human warrior woman strikes an intimidating figure. Instead, he draws his sword, and challenges "After my blade? Duel me for it. Win, and she's yours. Lose, and I'll take these weapons you've collected!"